Please Forgive me - Chapter 6
Title: Please, forgive me
Length: 6/?
Author: Anim22
Rating: Pg (Pg - R)
Genre: Drama, angst, AU- m-preg
Pairing: Jae/Yunho,Jae/Shiwon, Yoosu.
Summary: Jaejoong had the perfect life, and one day everything was destroyed. Now, he wants to go on with his life but Yunho is still looking for him. Then Choi Shiwon appears to sweep Jae off his feet. Who is going to win Jae’s heart?. Does Yunho deserve a second chance?. Who will Jae choose?
A/N: Okay finally Choi Shiwon appears. This is an extra long chapter.
Choi Shiwon finally appears in this chapter. So things are going to move faster now. The next chapter confrontations, confrontations. I love jealous Yunho.
One more thing, since everyone wants Jae to have a girl for the continuation of "How deep is you love". Can someone tell me, that name that Yunho likes for a girl????. I remember reading that somewhere but I really don't remember the name. Or maybe someone can suggest a name??.
Please comment, since I love comments(silent readers)^^. I think that the story has three chapters more or less left, and like always I will ask my readers about what they want for the ending. Although the pregnancy thing is up to me^^. If you have any question just ask me.
Don't forget. Leave a comment.
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After the wedding……
After the wedding, Yunho didn’t want to see anybody. He closed the door with force, trying to get rid of his pent-up emotions. He wanted to be a little boy again, maybe hiding under the covers will erase all the bad things that he had done. He took his tie off. He felt asphyxiated. He touched his cheek, still hurt a little bit.
He sat on a chair, near his bed. He hung his head low, there was something in his hand that had all his attention. He opened his fisted hand, on his palm there was the last remnant of his Jaejoong. The three rings laid on his hand, dirtied just like his relationship. He took the rings and tried to see if they fitted in one of his fingers but the rings were too small for him. He still remembered the first time he saw them, he knew that they belonged to Jaejoong. Just like him, the rings were unique. They three small rings, were square and not round. He kissed the rings, trying to remember Jae’s face when he gave him the ring. He cleaned them with his sleeve, someday he was going to return the ring to Jaejoong. Someday Jae was going to forgive him.
“I am so lost”. He played with the rings in his hand.
“What am I going to do without you”.
“and now, you leave me”. Yunho could imagine Jaejoong crying…crying because of him.
“Surrender, give up on you?. No one is going to love you like I do”. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to hold back his sobs.
“I am not going to cry. I am going to find you”.
“I am going to do the right thing this time around”.
“I am sorry Jae. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just love you so much”. Yunho lamented to himself. He didn’t have much time to think about what he was feeling, because his father suddenly entered his room. Yunho knew what was coming to him.
“Do you know what you have done!?”. His father shouted at him. Yunho didn’t answer.
“You have humiliated me, your entire family, his family. That poor boy!. god knows where he is now”.
“Father, I….”. Yunho tried to explain the unexplainable.
“Don’t you dare speak now!. You have disappointed me. Yunho. I thought I raised you differently, but I see that I was wrong”.
“Father, it was a mistake”.
“So you are telling me that she lied. You were never involved with her. Yunho was silent again. He couldn’t deny the truth to his father.
“I am going to teach you to be responsible. You are going to marry that girl. You are going to accept the consequences of you actions. Mr. Jung firmly spoke. Yunho bolted from the chair. His father was peaking nonsense.
“I will never marry her. I have to look for Jaejoong. You can’t do this to me. I won’t do it”. Yunho protested.
“Even now, you act like a spoil child. How disappointing”. Mr. Jung rubbed his forehead, turning his head.
“You can’t force me. No. Never”. Yunho continued to protest.
“Have you thought about your son. Learn from your mistakes son. That got Yunho. He sat down again. He knew he was fighting a losing battle.
“I am sorry son but you are going to marry that girl, and that is my final decision. Don’t blame anyone but yourself”. He left the room, that was the end of the conversation. He just prayed to god that he was making the right decision for his son.
Yunho was in hell now.
Present……………….
He arrived at Jaejoong’s house, tired and anxious. He knocked on the door but no one answer. He was sweating, although it was a cold day. He pounded on the door, he needed to get inside. This was it. Jae was just a door away.
Mrs. Kim opened the door, a cold look on his face. Now, Yunho knew where Jae got that cold air about him. He tried to calm down his hard breathing, feeling uncomfortable in front of Jae’s mother.
“Where is he?. I need to talk to him”. He stayed at the door, not daring to enter. Mrs. Kim was that intimidating.
“I am sorry dear, you are late again. He is gone”. Yunho’s face turned pale. “not again”.
“Please tell me!, where he is?”. Yunho looked very distraught. He pulled his hair in frustration. When would Jaejoong stop running from him?.
“Why should I tell you. You want to keep hurting him?”. Mrs. Kim stood on his spot, crossing his arms in front of her. She spoke very calmly, for Yunho it was like seeing Jaejoong the day of the wedding. He knew that Mrs. Kim would never tell him where the other was. Why would she?. He didn’t blame her.
“You know, I love him”. Yunho spoke without looking at her face, he was too ashamed to look at her face.
“I know that, but that doesn’t change anything my dear”.
He turned around and left. But not before Mrs. Kim, telling him exactly what he didn’t want to hear.
“He is not in the country. Go on with your life, Yunho. You will never see him again”.
“You are wrong. I’ll find him”. Yunho thought to himself, after that he just walked away.
Seven moths later………….
Time flew by fast for Yunho. He was working for his father, learning the business and also attending college. It was difficult to balance his life, but he liked the challenged. After all, it took his mind off Jaejoong. He was sitting in front of his desk, trying to work but his mind was already busy thinking about him.
There wasn’t a day when he didn’t think about him. Where was he?. What was he doing?. Did he still have a chance?. He threw away the pen that was in his hand. What was the point?. He couldn’t concentrate at anything. He leaned on his char, closing his eyes. He wanted to just talk to him and apologize for all the hurt that he had caused him. But he didn’t have the chance. He wanted to explained that he only loved him. He didn’t know that Hyebin was pregnant. He felt so stupid. He should have told Jaejoong everything but now there was no turning back.
He reached for his phone, dialing a number that he knew by memory. He had to know where Jae was. It was killing him.
“Did you find him?”. Yunho asked
“Not yet”, was the answer from the private investigator that he had hired months ago. He was growing impatient, no one knew where Jaejoong was.
“If you don’t find him by tomorrow, don’t bother calling me again!”. He shouted at the phone, hanging up with force. He was tired of his incompetence.
Then his secretary barged into his office, getting on his last nerve. He wanted to be left alone. She announced that his wife was waiting outside, and left the room as soon as possible. She could feel the animosity emanating from him.
Mrs. Jung Hyebin entered the office in all her glamour, proud to be who she was. She was wearing a very expensive black suit, tightly wrapped around his body. She came in, pushing their young son in a stroller. He was pleasantly sleeping, not that she cared. She immediately went to Yunho’s side, rubbing his shoulder, trying to get his attention.
Yunho couldn’t stand her touch. He stood up abruptly from his chair, preferring to go near his son. He kneeled in front of him, looking at the small and fragile baby. He didn’t like that he was outside, he was barely two months old. He did spend some time with his son but not as much as he wished he could.
The moment his eyes laid on his son, he felt the guilt arise in his heart. He barely spent time with him in the last week. Most of the time he was busy working. He considered himself as a father now, but still he felt like something was missing.
He did care for the boy, but there was just something that kept him from getting closer to him. The first time he saw him, he was happy but there wasn’t that spark of just pure joy that his father had described, just how his father saw him for the first time. Even if his marriage was a sham, he wanted to be a good father. He was just an innocent victim of his mistake. His heart never opened up to Hyebin but he welcomed the little baby into his life without reservations.
Living in his house, was hell. He slept alone in his room, but he lost count how many time she had tried to stay with him in the same room. Yunho had betrayed Jaejoong once, but he wasn’t about to do it again. He was lost in his thoughts, not noticing the impatient glare that was directed at his direction.
Hyebin approached him once again, wrapping his arms around him. He took her arms off from his torso. He now knew who she really was. The moment she gave birth to their son, she dropped the act. She only cared about money and that’s why she always came to see him. She was never at home, not that Yunho cared. But he felt sorry for his son. His son was practically being raised by his parents. Especially his father, he loved the little boy, he was so proud to have a grandson.
“Darling, I have missed you”. She sat down besides her son.
“What do you want”. Yunho was direct, she didn’t have to pretend anymore but she enjoyed the game.
“I need more money”. She asked without shame. She had Yunho in her hands. He could never get rid of her and even if he wanted too. It was going to cause him a lot of money. She had won the lottery, not only she married a rich guy but also a guy that belonged to the high class society that she always aspired to be part of.
“It’s that all”. He asked . “My secretary has your checks like always”.
She immediately stood up, exiting the office, not caring that the baby had started to cry. Yunho took the baby in his arm, trying to calm him down. At that moment his father entered the office. He took the baby from Yunho’s arm, the baby immediately stopped crying, feeling the familiar warmth of the person that took care of him. Yunho looked at his father, feeling like a complete failure. He couldn’t even get his own son to stop crying.
“How do you do it?”. He asked.
“Don’t worry, you will learn”. Mr. Jung was mesmerized by the little boy.
“I don’t know. I feel different when I am with him. It just doesn’t feel right”.
“It takes time. You are still very young”. Yunho was glad that his father was there for him. HyeBin entered the office again, he took the baby from Mr. Jung’s arms, not caring that he was asleep. The baby woke up, wailing his lungs out. She placed him in the stroller and left without saying a word. She and Mr. Jung weren’t in good term.
“I think, I made a terrible mistake when I forced you to marry that woman”. Mr. Jung spoke with regret. He knew that she was cheating on his son, but he had never told Yunho. He had enough problems. The only good thing out of that marriage was his grandson.
“It’s okay dad”. Yunho knew that maybe this was his punishment. His father just patted him on the back and left his office. He sighted, if he had married Jae, everything would’ve been different.
A month later, Yunho got the called that he had been waiting for. He finally knew where Jaejoong was.
Paris- France ……………….
Yunho arrived early in the morning. The city was beautiful, but the only thing that he wanted to see was Jaejoong. He now knew that he had been living in an apartment in the middle of the city. He took a cab, straight to the address that he had obtained. He was giddy to see him again. He fidgeted in his seat, it had been nine long months since he last saw him. The buildings flew by, but the majestic city just increase his anxiety. The cab stopped in front of the building, Yunho got out instantly.
He entered the building with hesitation. He looked around, trying to imagine Jaejoong. “So, this is you life now”. He walked to the elevator but the guard at the entrance stopped him. He felt so frustrated, he couldn’t communicate with him. He just repeated Jaejoong’s name. The guard picked his phone up and he could hear Jaejoong’s faint voice on the other side of the phone. The guard started to speak again, asking him his name. He knew that Jaejoong already knew it was him.
He pushed the guard away roughly. He dashed to the elevator, pushing the button for the sixth floor, as the elevator closed, he could hear the guard shouting at him.
Jae dropped the phone, grabbed some things and ran to the door.
He opened his door just to hear the elevator door opening. He had no escape.
Yunho went to Jaejoong’s apartment door, but it was wide opened.
He was going to enter when a noise, made him look around in the hallway.
Then he heard the fire alarm go off from one of the emergency exit door.
It was Jae.
He saw a glint of his har, disappearing behind the door.
Jumping forward, Yunho tried to catch him. He crossed the door just to find darkness, he was disoriented for a small second.
Then a sound snapped him out of his disorientation. He could hear Jaejoong’s footsteps running down the stairs.
He ran down the stair with all his strength. He was so close.
Jaejoong was two floor’s down, but he was catching up to him. His legs burned from all the forced that he was exerting.
Then, the could see Jaejoong or at least part of his body. He was like a mirage, threatening to disappear in front of his eyes.
“Stop!. Jaejoong!. Stop”!.
Yunho screamed out. Huffing, trying to catch his breath. He could hear Jaejoong trying to do the same.
“Leave me alone!. You are crazy!. Yunho. Leave me alone!”. Jaejoong was running out of breath. How did Yunho found him here?.
“I have to tell you something. Wait!”
“You fucking bastard. Don’t you get it. Leave me alone!”.
Jaejoong could see the door to the lobby. He was so close, just a door away from him again. He felt like his lungs were going to explode.
He bolted from the stairs, exiting the building.
He jumped inside a cab, finally he was safe.
He turned back just to glance at Yunho, standing on the street seeing him flee. Yunho, the man he loved. The man that he had shared so many moment with.
There was a feeling of pleasure inside of him at that sight. Yunho was suffering. “Good”. He snickered to himself . At least I am not the only one in hell. “But then, why is he still looking for me?”. He thought.
“Maybe, you do care about me”. But then he remember the cheating, the betrayal…the marriage. Anger surged in his heart.
“it’s just so messed up Yunho. You screwed up everything”. He grunted trying to get those thoughts out of his mind.
“Why do I feel this way”, was the only question on his mind.
He left the country that day. He couldn’t stand the thought of Yunho finding him.
A new life…………….
Jaejoong finally arrived to his new apartment. He was living in the United States now. He enrolled in a private university with a very beautiful campus. He wanted to do something with his life. He wasn’t going to throw away his youth for him. Although, it still hurt.
He lived near his university. The first days, were very difficult for him. He adapted as quickly as possible. He didn’t make a lot of friends. He now was aware that he was never a social person to being with. He enjoyed, waking early in the mornings and going to class. He was learning all this new experiences. It was a totally different culture.
The most difficult part was to learn to speak a new language. It was frustrating sometimes, but he was a quick learner. In no time, he had mastered the basics and more. He studied the language before, but now he was more comfortable speaking with everyone. His classes were quite easy, so he didn’t spend a lot of time studying or doing homework.
The only problem with his new life was that he felt lonely. He called home sometimes, but he didn’t want to worry his parent so he stayed strong. He had a few classmates, but classmates were not friends. Friends cared for you.
But one day, two very important people entered his life. They were also Koreans, so they instantly became friends.
He approached them one day at the library. They looked so intimate with each other. There was an aura about them that he didn’t know how interpret. They made the perfect couple. The tallest one, had the most funny face that he had ever seen. He was always laughing at something. The other one, was so cute. He looked so innocent and younger that the other one.
“Hi, do you mind if I sit with you two?. Jaejoong timidly asked. They both looked up in surprise.
“Oh not at all”, the one with the cute smile answered.
“You are new, right”. Jae just shook his head. He felt so self-conscious.
“Yes, my name is Kim Jaejoong”.
“Hi, I am Junsu and this is Yoochun”. They exchanged handshakes.
“So, do you like it here”.
“I love it here”. Jae answered truthfully. They spent the next couple of hours, talking and trying to do their homework.
For a moment Jaejoong just stared at them with a nostalgic look on his face, the way that they touched and talked with each other. It reminded him of his relationship with Yunho. They looked so close and perfect together. Junsu and Yoochun were lost in their jokes. But then they noticed that his new friend had gotten quiet so they stopped playing with each other to ask him what was wrong with him. He had the saddest look on his face.
“Do you mind if I ask you something”.
“Oh no go ahead”.
“Did you two grew up together”.
“Yes, as a matter of fact we did”.
“So how long have you two being going out”. The moment Jaejoong finished speaking, they separated from each other. Their faces turning cold and contrite.
“Did I say something wrong”. Jae asked clueless to the situation.
“No, But I think you got it all wrong. We are cousins”. Yoochun answered with hesitation. Jaejoong opened his eyes wide in surprise but he pretended like nothing was wrong. They continued talking but Jaejoong could feel the tension in the air.
After that they became the best of friends. But somehow, Jaejoong felt more comfortable talking to Junsu. Since Yoochun wanted to be a doctor, he didn’t have a lot of time to spend with Junsu. Naturally Jaejoong filled that void.
Now, they were inseparable. They had the same classes so they practically spent every moment of the day together. Jaejoong finally found some friends that could help him not think about him.
As friend do, Junsu and Jaejoong knew everything about each other. Jaejoong confided in Junsu about what had happened to him almost a year ago. He told Junsu the whole story, to the last little detail. Junsu told Jaejoong that he shouldn’t avoid his ex-boyfriend. He should confront him, and see how he really feels. Jae wasn’t really excited about the idea.
Junsu also told him that he should find a new boyfriend or at least go out and meet new people.
Jaejoong was hesitant to do just that. He wasn’t ready to open his heart to anybody. He didn’t trust no-one. However Junsu had other ideas. He always talked about a certain someone that was dying to meet him. He was a close friend of his. He described him as tall and handsome. He was in a band, he was a drummer. Jaejoong although refused to meet him. He had other things to do, and having a boyfriend wasn’t one of those things.
It was the weekend, and Junsu had invited Jaejoong over for some drinks. They were listening some music and talking about the future. Their apartment was so cozy, Jae loved to be there all the time. He was sitting in his usual place, onserving how Yoochun and Junsu interacted with each other. They loved to hold and hands and also be closer to each other.
Jaejoong could see that there was something else between them but he knew that neither Yoochun nor Junsu were ready to talk about it. He now knew that the aura that was around them, was one of sadness.
They were all sitting in the living room, making jokes about how Jaejoong will fall in love the moment he sees the so called “drummer”. He felt his cheeks burning up from all the teasing. For a moment he forgot there was a guy named Jung Yunho.
Suddenly someone was at the door. Jaejoong was facing the living room, so he didn’t know who had come in. He just heard a new voice that he didn’t know and then some laughs.
He felt nervous for some reason. He started to shake his leg, tapping the floor. He had the pet-peeve to always move his leg when he was nervous or some part of his body, that used to drive Yunho insane.
He heard Junsu calling him, he stood up from his chair. He turned around just to meet Choi Shiwon. He was wearing ripped jean shorts, an ugly green t-shirt and his hair was black and long. He had a pair of drumsticks in his hand and another pair in his back pocket. He introduced himself, giving him a really big smile. Jaejoong forced a smile, shaking the guy’s hand. Junsu and Yoochun were making faces and kissing sound behind them. He wanted to kill them.
Jaejoong could only think that there was no way in hell that he will like this guy.
TBC
One last question. Do you want to know more about the Yoosu story???.
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