now who but we can make report of Woodstock's tragedy?
I got back from the Woodstock reading about an hour ago and it was SO MUCH FUN. I read really well and had too much to drink and everybody did a great job (I was equipped with a truly wonderful set of minions, which pleases me immensely). So I have got my love for the play back, which is a Good Thing, since I'm not done with the diss chapter on it. It was really great hearing it spoken aloud, which experience I had not had before since nobody ever does this play.
Anyway, I told you I'd post the attempt on the part of commodorified and myself to replicate the play's strange and fun blend of political discourse, egregious abuse of history, and thoroughly inappropriate humor; I think we did pretty well at it, and in performance it flowed very nicely. So I for one am quite happy.
There is a text of the rest of the play here, without which our ending won't make a lot of sense. ;) The excerpt I posted starts shortly before the text breaks off.
Enter Nimble, with Tresilian, bound and guarded
LANCASTER How now, what traitor is there?
NIMBLE The traitor now is ta'en.
I here present the villain,
And if ye needs will know his name,
"God bless my lord Tresilian."
CHEYNEY Tresilian, my lord, attached and apprehended by his man!
NIMBLE Yes, and it please ye, my lord, 'twas I that took him. I was once a trampler in the law after him, and I thank him he taught me this trick, to save myself from hanging.
LANCASTER Thou art a good lawyer and hast removed the cause from thyself fairly.
NIMBLE I have removed it with a habeas corpus; and then I took him with surssararis, and bound him in this bond to answer it. Nay, I have studied for my learning, I can tell ye, my lord. There was not a stone between Westminster Hall and Temple Bar but I have told them every morning.
ARUNDEL What moved thee, being his man, to apprehend him?
NIMBLE Partly for these causes: first, the fear of the proclamation, for I have plodded in Plowden and can find no law1 says a prentice must hang for his master's plotting; second, for fear of pecuniary peine, for ploughing through the Penals shows neither peccatum nor peccadill can pay a man a thousand marks!; and lastly, i'faith, for love of thee, my noble lords-- for this lawyer's a traitor and plotter of treason.
ARUNDEL Sure we are glad of such nimble service, and glad to requite such love.
LANCASTER Tresilian, thou standest here condemned
A traitor and corrupter of the King,
And by those laws that thou hast so abused,
Thy sentence, present death.
And, Nimble, in earnest of thy thousand marks,
Put off thy current office, and like a hangman
See execution done upon thy master.
Go, some of you; with expeditious speed
Bear off my lord Tresilian to the death.
NIMBLE Gramercy, gracious lord! I shall be a rare hangman, I warrant ye. Didst thou not once say, sirrah, that I had an executing look, and that thou wouldst put the axe into my hand?
TRESILIAN I remember well, remember that, and more as well, for I said that Nimble should never go in fear of the rope; I spoke better than I knew, and did worse; better had I dangled a noose in thy face both night and noon than that I should have raised thee up to throw me down.
NIMBLE To throw thee down? Nay, you were Chief Justice and raised me high, and I shall requite you, I shall raise thee higher still.
[Exit Nimble with Tresilian and random soldiers]
LANCASTER And these caterpillars of the commonwealth,
That craven protest they did nothing of themselves,
But were by Tresilian led amiss -- let them follow him to his end.
SCROOPE Here's kindness, lords, and who hath cared
For Richard more than we?
BUSHY No man dare say we did his least of his wants neglect,
Or that any service we disdained,
Not were it fitter for the lowest churl,
Nor yet the most complaisant drab; moreover
So deeply did we wish his good
That my lord Scroope was ever at prayer
For the health of good King Richard.
SCROOPE The most eager monk in England
Was not so often on his knees as I,
Nor yet so long at his devotions.
And who shall pray for King Richard now?
LANCASTER Pray! Aye, you were ever keen to prey with him;
With him, on him, on the land, 'til through your predation
This England was rent and nigh devoured.
'Twere wiser to pray for your own selves now,
And leave off telling o'er your vileness.
Come, take them away; let me hear them no more!
Lapoole take too, and keep him close
Till Gloucester's death be further sounded.
LAPOOLE What wrong I have done, you thrice-renownèd peers,
Was at the pleasure of my sovereign lord;
When he bid me go, I went;
If he bid me come here, spend there,
Shut tight my ears in his service,
Ope wide my lips in his praise,
Should I, a subject to his majesty,
So far presume as to deny my king?
ARUNDEL If to deny Richard's whim were greater service
Than obedience, aye; for though we be subjects
And bound to our king's command, more mighty yet
Is the rule of heaven;
If thy lord, thy king, thy father
Should bid thee break that law, thou shouldst refuse
And rather obey God; for who dare say
He does good service to aid his lord's damnation?
LAPOOLE My gracious lord -
LANCASTER Grave are thine offenses,
And well deserving death, yet for a while
Hold we our hands, and thou thy peace.
Convey him to the Tower,
And let him think on Gloucester's shameful end,
And on obedience; we shall have occasion
To make a trial of him.
[Exeunt guards and minions, exhibiting variations on Coarse Acting Expressions One and Four. Pursued, if desired, by a caterpillar with a sturdy battle axe. Enter York, with King Richard]
KING RICHARD Villainous uncles! Vile traitorous kin,
To take up arms in blackest mutiny
Against your sovereign and his dearest friends,
To stain your hands with blood, your souls with sin,
And shame my father's and my grandsire's dust!
Where is my gallant Bushy, where Lapoole?
Clever Tresilian, what have you done with him?
Where's my loyal Scroope? Bring him in; I want him.
YORK Cousin, they will not come though thou dost bid,
Nay, not to thine nor any other's calling.
KING RICHARD Send me then to them;
I would sooner lie with them and my good Anne
I'the meanest dust a thousand thousand nights
Than sit my throne one day upon thy knee
And govern England at thy will.
YORK He but speaks as a man distracted;
Let me reason with his grief.
LANCASTER Do you so, brother, and see him reconciled;
Else we obey him on the instant
And so lance the infection and be done.
YORK My lord Richard, speak not so hotly; be guided in thy grief.
Yet fear not to show thy tears before us --
Thy Anne is but newly in her grave
And these serpents turn and strike at thy breast;
Why, not a man alive but would weep and rage at fate.
They had thy ear, and thy heart; it does thee credit
That Richard is not swiftly alterèd,
Nor is he quick to hear the worst of those he hath loved.
But the matter is plain; they loved thee not, Richard,
But were traitors all, and thou art well rid of them.
Foul that they did flatter and cozen thee;
Fouler to fill thine ears with lies and slander
Against good Arundel and stout Lancaster,
That did ever seek to serve thee -
I say nothing of my own hurts, but forgive
As any Christian ought --
But to seize the very moment of thy grief
And do such filthy murder - I scarce myself can credit it,
And somewhat more of men have I seen
Than thou, who art still young and eager
To see the best in every man.
Too long hath the body of the realm
Been plagued by rank corruption in the blood,
Sickened by surfeit and by wantonness,
And in its humours all distemperèd.
If we come to you armed, we come not as rebels,
But as physicians careful of thy health;
For the infection that hath seized on thy realm
Could find no cure without purgation
And letting of blood.
KING RICHARD [aside] How shall I answer him? My sins are great,
And heaven hath found them out, and doth revenge -
Death hath bereft me untimely of my Anne, and these
Of my dearest friends; shall I live therefore
Appealed of Gloucester's blood, chastisèd
By pompous Lancaster, and so submit,
Or hurl defiance and die,
Condemned a traitor to all but myself?
I cannot do it, cannot bring lips
Once sanctified by hers
To base humility and lowly fawning
For any throne. And yet I do fear death -
Or if not death then Hell - I will not find her there,
Nor here on earth; to make politic peace with York
And so hope for a better end henceforth -
No, I will not, must not, dare not,
And yet dare not say no.
YORK But give his proud heart time, brother;
Press him not now, he does but rage, threaten, weep
At the wind; we shall make him amenable.
We have his forces cast down; alone
He dares not strive against us.
LANCASTER I like it not, brother;
We grow no younger. An he remain beneath our lash
He grows no more a man; yet we dare not
Let him to his own ends thus wildly run.
Let's be done with it; we have so far gone
And should cleanly make an end.
YORK Brother, this is treason stripped bare; we cannot do't,
And did we so, who set up in his place, and how?
Would'st be Kingmaker General?
Let us school him, he is haughty
But may yet break to rein.
LANCASTER 'Tis but to cozen treason and draw it fine, to keep a King at our heels like a hound; I tell you, I like it not.
ARUNDEL Lancaster, be guided; I will not kill a king.
No deed so black could we ever wash from our souls;
Hold thy revengeful hand some little time,
And let York try what he can do.
LANCASTER Is he not tried too far yet? I leave it in your hands; if ye have patience still for this degenerate king, in his father's name I withdraw.
ARUNDEL My lord Richard, will you hear us?
KING RICHARD We will, for want of better music to beguile our ears;
What hast thou to say that's worth the hearing?
ARUNDEL That Richard is our dear sovereign still,
And we his kin and subjects true and loyal,
And all that hath of late seemed to cast a shadow
O'er that shining truth were best forgotten.
For Gloucester's death, we have Tresilian and Lapoole
On the word of Tresilian's own man;
For the rest, let it rest forever.
Please you to once more ascend your throne
And we to hold it safe at your pleasure.
KING RICHARD At my pleasure?
LANCASTER At your pleasure or ours, it makes no matter to me;
Will you end as Edward your grandsire, full of years and renown,
Or as his father, full of -
YORK Too far, brother, too far!
My lord King, heed him not, his choler's high,
His heart is low with grieving for our brother;
Thy person is as sacred as thy crown, my word on't;
Only mount thy throne, and be content.
KING RICHARD Why uncle, was I ever off it?
For this news we thank thee,
And for thy good offices we will requite thee;
Be ye once more my council;
God grant we prove such a sovereign to you all
As all your loyal service hath deserved.
YORK, ARUNDEL All duty, faith, and service to your lordship.
LANCASTER So let it lie; murder, treason, all; let
This vile thicket a prunèd hedgerow seem;
Deadwood cut out with husbandry and pain
Is casually burnt and soon forgot.
Yet cut too shallow and the rot remains
Weakening the whole; 'twere less clever, then
To strike at the root and hew down the tree
But save the forest; what is half-trimmed here
Will weaken in darkness and fall another year.
[Exeunt omnes.]
1. This is where the original text breaks off; the conclusion of this speech we borrowed from the Hampshire Shakespeare Company's 1999 production for readthrough purposes (with proper annotation). The section Marna and I wrote starts after that.
Anyway, I told you I'd post the attempt on the part of commodorified and myself to replicate the play's strange and fun blend of political discourse, egregious abuse of history, and thoroughly inappropriate humor; I think we did pretty well at it, and in performance it flowed very nicely. So I for one am quite happy.
There is a text of the rest of the play here, without which our ending won't make a lot of sense. ;) The excerpt I posted starts shortly before the text breaks off.
Enter Nimble, with Tresilian, bound and guarded
LANCASTER How now, what traitor is there?
NIMBLE The traitor now is ta'en.
I here present the villain,
And if ye needs will know his name,
"God bless my lord Tresilian."
CHEYNEY Tresilian, my lord, attached and apprehended by his man!
NIMBLE Yes, and it please ye, my lord, 'twas I that took him. I was once a trampler in the law after him, and I thank him he taught me this trick, to save myself from hanging.
LANCASTER Thou art a good lawyer and hast removed the cause from thyself fairly.
NIMBLE I have removed it with a habeas corpus; and then I took him with surssararis, and bound him in this bond to answer it. Nay, I have studied for my learning, I can tell ye, my lord. There was not a stone between Westminster Hall and Temple Bar but I have told them every morning.
ARUNDEL What moved thee, being his man, to apprehend him?
NIMBLE Partly for these causes: first, the fear of the proclamation, for I have plodded in Plowden and can find no law1 says a prentice must hang for his master's plotting; second, for fear of pecuniary peine, for ploughing through the Penals shows neither peccatum nor peccadill can pay a man a thousand marks!; and lastly, i'faith, for love of thee, my noble lords-- for this lawyer's a traitor and plotter of treason.
ARUNDEL Sure we are glad of such nimble service, and glad to requite such love.
LANCASTER Tresilian, thou standest here condemned
A traitor and corrupter of the King,
And by those laws that thou hast so abused,
Thy sentence, present death.
And, Nimble, in earnest of thy thousand marks,
Put off thy current office, and like a hangman
See execution done upon thy master.
Go, some of you; with expeditious speed
Bear off my lord Tresilian to the death.
NIMBLE Gramercy, gracious lord! I shall be a rare hangman, I warrant ye. Didst thou not once say, sirrah, that I had an executing look, and that thou wouldst put the axe into my hand?
TRESILIAN I remember well, remember that, and more as well, for I said that Nimble should never go in fear of the rope; I spoke better than I knew, and did worse; better had I dangled a noose in thy face both night and noon than that I should have raised thee up to throw me down.
NIMBLE To throw thee down? Nay, you were Chief Justice and raised me high, and I shall requite you, I shall raise thee higher still.
[Exit Nimble with Tresilian and random soldiers]
LANCASTER And these caterpillars of the commonwealth,
That craven protest they did nothing of themselves,
But were by Tresilian led amiss -- let them follow him to his end.
SCROOPE Here's kindness, lords, and who hath cared
For Richard more than we?
BUSHY No man dare say we did his least of his wants neglect,
Or that any service we disdained,
Not were it fitter for the lowest churl,
Nor yet the most complaisant drab; moreover
So deeply did we wish his good
That my lord Scroope was ever at prayer
For the health of good King Richard.
SCROOPE The most eager monk in England
Was not so often on his knees as I,
Nor yet so long at his devotions.
And who shall pray for King Richard now?
LANCASTER Pray! Aye, you were ever keen to prey with him;
With him, on him, on the land, 'til through your predation
This England was rent and nigh devoured.
'Twere wiser to pray for your own selves now,
And leave off telling o'er your vileness.
Come, take them away; let me hear them no more!
Lapoole take too, and keep him close
Till Gloucester's death be further sounded.
LAPOOLE What wrong I have done, you thrice-renownèd peers,
Was at the pleasure of my sovereign lord;
When he bid me go, I went;
If he bid me come here, spend there,
Shut tight my ears in his service,
Ope wide my lips in his praise,
Should I, a subject to his majesty,
So far presume as to deny my king?
ARUNDEL If to deny Richard's whim were greater service
Than obedience, aye; for though we be subjects
And bound to our king's command, more mighty yet
Is the rule of heaven;
If thy lord, thy king, thy father
Should bid thee break that law, thou shouldst refuse
And rather obey God; for who dare say
He does good service to aid his lord's damnation?
LAPOOLE My gracious lord -
LANCASTER Grave are thine offenses,
And well deserving death, yet for a while
Hold we our hands, and thou thy peace.
Convey him to the Tower,
And let him think on Gloucester's shameful end,
And on obedience; we shall have occasion
To make a trial of him.
[Exeunt guards and minions, exhibiting variations on Coarse Acting Expressions One and Four. Pursued, if desired, by a caterpillar with a sturdy battle axe. Enter York, with King Richard]
KING RICHARD Villainous uncles! Vile traitorous kin,
To take up arms in blackest mutiny
Against your sovereign and his dearest friends,
To stain your hands with blood, your souls with sin,
And shame my father's and my grandsire's dust!
Where is my gallant Bushy, where Lapoole?
Clever Tresilian, what have you done with him?
Where's my loyal Scroope? Bring him in; I want him.
YORK Cousin, they will not come though thou dost bid,
Nay, not to thine nor any other's calling.
KING RICHARD Send me then to them;
I would sooner lie with them and my good Anne
I'the meanest dust a thousand thousand nights
Than sit my throne one day upon thy knee
And govern England at thy will.
YORK He but speaks as a man distracted;
Let me reason with his grief.
LANCASTER Do you so, brother, and see him reconciled;
Else we obey him on the instant
And so lance the infection and be done.
YORK My lord Richard, speak not so hotly; be guided in thy grief.
Yet fear not to show thy tears before us --
Thy Anne is but newly in her grave
And these serpents turn and strike at thy breast;
Why, not a man alive but would weep and rage at fate.
They had thy ear, and thy heart; it does thee credit
That Richard is not swiftly alterèd,
Nor is he quick to hear the worst of those he hath loved.
But the matter is plain; they loved thee not, Richard,
But were traitors all, and thou art well rid of them.
Foul that they did flatter and cozen thee;
Fouler to fill thine ears with lies and slander
Against good Arundel and stout Lancaster,
That did ever seek to serve thee -
I say nothing of my own hurts, but forgive
As any Christian ought --
But to seize the very moment of thy grief
And do such filthy murder - I scarce myself can credit it,
And somewhat more of men have I seen
Than thou, who art still young and eager
To see the best in every man.
Too long hath the body of the realm
Been plagued by rank corruption in the blood,
Sickened by surfeit and by wantonness,
And in its humours all distemperèd.
If we come to you armed, we come not as rebels,
But as physicians careful of thy health;
For the infection that hath seized on thy realm
Could find no cure without purgation
And letting of blood.
KING RICHARD [aside] How shall I answer him? My sins are great,
And heaven hath found them out, and doth revenge -
Death hath bereft me untimely of my Anne, and these
Of my dearest friends; shall I live therefore
Appealed of Gloucester's blood, chastisèd
By pompous Lancaster, and so submit,
Or hurl defiance and die,
Condemned a traitor to all but myself?
I cannot do it, cannot bring lips
Once sanctified by hers
To base humility and lowly fawning
For any throne. And yet I do fear death -
Or if not death then Hell - I will not find her there,
Nor here on earth; to make politic peace with York
And so hope for a better end henceforth -
No, I will not, must not, dare not,
And yet dare not say no.
YORK But give his proud heart time, brother;
Press him not now, he does but rage, threaten, weep
At the wind; we shall make him amenable.
We have his forces cast down; alone
He dares not strive against us.
LANCASTER I like it not, brother;
We grow no younger. An he remain beneath our lash
He grows no more a man; yet we dare not
Let him to his own ends thus wildly run.
Let's be done with it; we have so far gone
And should cleanly make an end.
YORK Brother, this is treason stripped bare; we cannot do't,
And did we so, who set up in his place, and how?
Would'st be Kingmaker General?
Let us school him, he is haughty
But may yet break to rein.
LANCASTER 'Tis but to cozen treason and draw it fine, to keep a King at our heels like a hound; I tell you, I like it not.
ARUNDEL Lancaster, be guided; I will not kill a king.
No deed so black could we ever wash from our souls;
Hold thy revengeful hand some little time,
And let York try what he can do.
LANCASTER Is he not tried too far yet? I leave it in your hands; if ye have patience still for this degenerate king, in his father's name I withdraw.
ARUNDEL My lord Richard, will you hear us?
KING RICHARD We will, for want of better music to beguile our ears;
What hast thou to say that's worth the hearing?
ARUNDEL That Richard is our dear sovereign still,
And we his kin and subjects true and loyal,
And all that hath of late seemed to cast a shadow
O'er that shining truth were best forgotten.
For Gloucester's death, we have Tresilian and Lapoole
On the word of Tresilian's own man;
For the rest, let it rest forever.
Please you to once more ascend your throne
And we to hold it safe at your pleasure.
KING RICHARD At my pleasure?
LANCASTER At your pleasure or ours, it makes no matter to me;
Will you end as Edward your grandsire, full of years and renown,
Or as his father, full of -
YORK Too far, brother, too far!
My lord King, heed him not, his choler's high,
His heart is low with grieving for our brother;
Thy person is as sacred as thy crown, my word on't;
Only mount thy throne, and be content.
KING RICHARD Why uncle, was I ever off it?
For this news we thank thee,
And for thy good offices we will requite thee;
Be ye once more my council;
God grant we prove such a sovereign to you all
As all your loyal service hath deserved.
YORK, ARUNDEL All duty, faith, and service to your lordship.
LANCASTER So let it lie; murder, treason, all; let
This vile thicket a prunèd hedgerow seem;
Deadwood cut out with husbandry and pain
Is casually burnt and soon forgot.
Yet cut too shallow and the rot remains
Weakening the whole; 'twere less clever, then
To strike at the root and hew down the tree
But save the forest; what is half-trimmed here
Will weaken in darkness and fall another year.
[Exeunt omnes.]
1. This is where the original text breaks off; the conclusion of this speech we borrowed from the Hampshire Shakespeare Company's 1999 production for readthrough purposes (with proper annotation). The section Marna and I wrote starts after that.