I think 'a will plow up all if there is not better directions

[angevin2]

Something that may amuse the Shakespeareans on my list! I posted this ages ago, but have added to it since then (having seen a few not-very-good productions), and I have many more Shakespearean friends now. And it's been a while since I've posted something silly.

Contributions from non-me people are credited in parentheses.

ETA: Since this post

Comments

[jon3831]

"I will not have Henry throwing tomatoes at a spinning fan blade whilst yelling at Montjoy."

"I will not have dancing girls at Agincourt."

"I will not have dancing girls at Berkeley, either, despite the fact that Bolingbroke may like them..."

Uhh... ;)

What a pity...

[johnhedtke]

...I like dancing girls. :)

I will not stage Macbeth using any of the voices from "The Simpsons," despite the success of certain others in doing so.

(I've got a link to the list in my blog, btw.)

[jon3831]

May I add:

If I portray Cymbeline's Jove with blacklights in a hall with lots of windows, I will resist the urge to have a matinee.

[passionate_lies]

"I will not portray Mercutio as a speed addict and Tybalt as his dealer. I will try to do the world a favour and cease from modernising Romeo and Juliet."

aaaaaaaaand

"I will not let Glen Close within ten feet of any Shakespearian text." (Because watching Hamlet in English class with her is opening up old wounds for me at this point...)

[poisoninjest]

I agree with most of these, except that RII's minions should always wear pink. *g*

I would like to add:

In a production of Cymbeline, Jupiter should not be played as some kind of bizarre winged thing on a high metal contraption with a magnifying glass for a face. Additionally, portraying the Leonati as four faceless figures swathed in one long, connected white cloth and bunches of gold Christmas lights with their lines delivered from offstage through the sound system that echoes and is impossible to understand is a bad idea.

[mintwitch]

I will not project a PowerPoint slideshow onto a large screen above and behind the actors, ever, for any reason, no matter what.

I will refrain from "correcting" the text politically or "improving" it to avoid possible offense.

[jb1234]

I'm trying to think of DSP lessons you can carry over as well but I'm drawing a blank. Any ideas?

[angevin2]

Well, there is "I will set deadlines and enforce them"! ;)

[jb1234]

You will? ;)

Oh, I see what you mean!