I think 'a will plow up all if there is not better directions

[angevin2]

Something that may amuse the Shakespeareans on my list! I posted this ages ago, but have added to it since then (having seen a few not-very-good productions), and I have many more Shakespearean friends now. And it's been a while since I've posted something silly.

Contributions from non-me people are credited in parentheses.

ETA: Since this post

Comments

[adamselzer]

how about....

Thematically apt though it may be, I shall not have anyone in Twelfth Night resemble a character from Rocky Horror.

[rainbowjehan]

O_o Who, for example?

[adamselzer]

Orsino, who reminds me WAY too much of Dr. Frank-n-furter in the BBC version.

[rainbowjehan]

O_O MUST SEE.

[fantome14]

Oh, but surely every production of R&J should take plaxxe in a foot of water! Doesn't every audience love getting soaked?

*sigh*

I am in total agreement re: Keanu.

I also agree about Titania not being a dominatrix, but I did recently see a production of Othello that had Bianca as a dominatrix, and it worked pretty well. :-P

[angevin2]

Yeah, I think could picture dominatrix!Bianca. ;)

I actually saw a Twelfth Night a couple of days ago that had a waterlogged stage, although they at least took precautions to not get any on the audience. At any rate, even the actors probably got more drenched from the fountain of spit Sir Toby sprayed on every single line (whence #84)...

[kerrypolka]

Firstly, 14. If I must cut the Henry VI plays down to two, I will not leave the superbly dramatic death scenes of important supporting characters offstage.

WHO DID THIS? THAT I MAY FIND AND KILL THEM. (Also, which character[s]? For curiousity's sake.)

That said,

I will not allow my actors to suffer under the misapprehension that "more spittle" = "better Acting"

I will reserve the "drunken fool" interpretation for those characters for which it is textually sound to do so. Falstaff in Merry Wives is one of those characters. Don Pedro in Much Ado is not.

Additionally, I will keep Don Pedro's marriage proposal to Beatrice ambiguous.

I will not have sheep in my pastoral scenes.

I will not put La Pucelle in a Xena-esque metal bikini, no matter how attractive the actor's legs and stomach are.

I will remember that Cordelia, despite her youth, is not a whiner.

Nice list. :)

[angevin2]

WHO DID THIS? THAT I MAY FIND AND KILL THEM. (Also, which character[s]? For curiousity's sake.)

The Stratford, Ontario production in 2002, and the characters in question were Cardinal Beaufort and Jack Cade -- the Cardinal's death was reported but not seen, and the first we heard of Cade's death was when Alexander Iden showed up with his head. I was ready to spit nails.

Thanks for the suggestions! Those are great!

[kerrypolka]

Ick. Lame. I hate it when people mess with the HVIs -- they're my favorite of the histories.

[angevin2]

You and my sister both! I have a deep and abiding affection for them myself -- indeed, I just delivered a conference paper on them. (Though my favorite is Richard II, as a quick glance at my journal makes obvious... ;) )

[bromius]

No matter how clever or "modern" the production, no characters in Shakespeare will ever be portrayed at a rave.

I will not cut the mythological "filler" from characters' dialogue to shorten a play's running time.

[angevin2]

Oh, good call on the second one! I hate when productions do that...

[bromius]

I had a director do it to me. I was Hamlet's father and thus my part was cut by about a third. No more "fearful porpentine," either, the bastard.

[angevin2]

*gasp* That's awful! Not only did they cut your role to ribbons, but they omitted the fearful porpentine? It's an outrage!

(Actually, one of my issues with Branagh's ghost scenes, which are by far the weakest part of the movie anyway, is that he makes the Ghost say "fearful porcupine." It's not the same at all.)

[angevin2]

Ha! Nice suggestions, especially the second one. (Though now I have the "Parlez-vous" song from Ruddigore stuck in my head.)

Nice to meetcha! I see you're friends with cionaudha too. :D

And I have a thing for Sam West. Clearly you have fine taste. ;)