Things look great on the outside, but on the inside everything is falling apart. I let everything go in this household. I'm like the fucking peace keeper stuck in the middle. And I'm the one that gets treated like shit?? I'm sorry no one gets along with eachother. I'm so tired of hearing everyone bitch about everyone else, then being all nice face ( Read more... )

Pray that god wil take me. Obviously my prayers are unanswered. I'm nothing but a burden on people. A pest... I do not want to take things into my own hands, but i don't know how much longer I can wait. My absence will be for the best. Everyone would be better off. So one more night I pray... God please take me tonight, peacefully.

Enough said... Well nothing said... I guess point taken. Yet there's always an excuse, even when it's a lie. I just bite my tongue like always... I don't want this anymore. I fucking hate my life. I live in the past and live off the hopes but always become disappointed. If I could just fall asleep and dream forever

I understand you have a lot going on. Also, I know you have 3 women you are trying to make happy. I'm not stupid and known for a while now. But remember when I was your breath? Now I'm the third and don't appreciate it. That's another reason I am hesitant about moving. It's quite a major reason really. I want things like the way they were before, ( Read more... )

Funny how everything seems to have changed but when it comes down to it, it's the same bullshit as before. Oh I love you, I miss you, koala this, koala that... Then it does off and I'm stuck here wondering if that night was just like the others

I'm back to spiraling and idk what to do. My best friend is trying to help, but I can't fucking fight it. Its up and down all the time. Just when I think it's ok, I plummet down. Just sitting here, with my best friend, my thoughts are "I want to slit my fucking throat. I just want to run away. I want to go home. I just want to fucking choke." I ( Read more... )

Hello LJ! Looks like you're my only outlet right now... I've been pondering... How do you know when it's over? ......

Things started off great this morning, then Mel-odd came online...So now not only am I annoyed bc I'm nicking, I'm beyond pissed and want to unleash my anger onto her fucking face. *thinks happy thoughts* Much better

Well I'm going back on my meds bc of a huge blow out between me and Mel. She is right though. There are other ways I can control my life. Next week I start going to the gym. It's not a "normal" gym though. They do work outs like you see on the biggest loser. So it should be interesting. Maybe it will make me feel better about myself which in turn ( Read more... )

How Soon Is Now ( Read more... )