Forever Autumn 7/23
Title: Forever Autumn 7/23
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick,
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Nick Jones, and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: The stag party comes to a memorable climax with several surprises along the way!
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html
Chapter 7
The group stared out at the lobby, heaving with people laughing and dancing around, with some of them even occasionally pausing to flirt with the waiting staff. For a moment, John wondered if the Doctor had actually taken them to the Luxorian Nebula in its heyday rather than back to Earth, because the place really did look scarily like it - bright lights, blaring music and attractive men and women everywhere, some of them dressed very scantily indeed. However, a quick glance at his wrist strap told him that they were, in fact, exactly where the Time Lord had told them they were.
“Wow...” said Matt weakly.
Wow is right, John thought to himself as he stared around the interior of the enormous pyramid shaped buildng. I remember coming here back when it was first opened and damn, they've done a seriously good job of renovating it! It looks more vibrant than ever and, even better, it's absolutely packed out with tourists if all the noise is anything to go by. Oh, this is going to be good!
He rubbed his hands and grinned. “Jack?” he said slowly.
“Yes, John?”
“Are you ready to make an entrance?”
“Never been more ready in my life!” Jack clapped his hands together, but then stopped and frowned. “Er, Doctor?” he said. “Not to put too fine a point on it, but...how long have we been gone?”
“What?” The Doctor blinked at him. “How long have you been...?”
“Gone, yes.” John instantly picked up on Jack's train of thought. “Because, I warn you now, Doctor, if you've made me miss my wedding, Ianto isn't going to have the chance to regenerate you, because I will do it first.”
“Now would I do a thing like that?” asked the Doctor, affecting a hurt look.
“Yes!” said Jack emphatically. “Or have you forgotten the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident already?”
The Doctor winced. “Touche. But, in my defence, that was a different regeneration!” He gave them what he clearly hoped was a winning smile, but then swallowed as John glared at him threateningly. “Right, well, anyway, I'll just go and check what the date is and when we are and everything.” With a slightly nervous nod, he bounded away to another part of the TARDIS, occasionally pausing to shift a couple of levers.
“What was the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident?” asked Matt, frowning.
“Well,” said Jack, twirling a few bits of hair around his fingers, “let's just say that, for a Time Lord, the Doctor isn't always very good at turning up or dropping people off when he should. He's been known to get it really wrong sometimes, actually.”
“If he has made me miss my wedding, I will regenerate him,” John reiterated, although despite his strong words, the image in his mind of Nick standing on the stage and the expression that crossed his face as he looked up and realised that his partner wasn't there tore at his heart. He blinked hard, trying to clear those thoughts and leaned against the TARDIS wall, breathing deeply.
“Hey.” Jack reached over and tilted John's face upwards so that they were looking at each other. “We'll back for the wedding, even if we have to break the laws of time itself.”
“You really think the Doctor would do that?” asked Garrett, looking sceptical.
“He might not,” said Jack. “But I would. I can see just how important this wedding is, John, and I will do anything to make sure that we're all back in time for it - and I mean, anything.”
John blinked and mentally kicked himself. “You're right,” he said, grinning now. “We're former Time Agents, for God's sake - if anyone can break the rules of time and get away with it, we can!”
“That's debatable,” interjected the Doctor, who had reappeared a moment later. “But don't worry, you won't need to. We've only been away for a few hours. Nick and the others will probably only just have touched down in Amsterdam.”
“Amsterdam?!” exclaimed Jack, a broad grin crossing his face. “Cool!”
“Yes, yes, they've got a few wild days ahead of them,” said the Doctor airily. “But never mind that now - it's time for me to give you guys the time of your life!”
“Oi!” exclaimed Donna. “I am still here, you know!”
“You're included as well, Miss Noble!” insisted the Doctor. He cleared his throat loudly, causing everyone to cover their ears briefly. “And now, as promised...a night of debauchery, drinking and dancing! Allon -”
“Doctor!” interrrupted Garrett. “If you finish that word, I am going to...find something very sharp and very pointy and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!”
“Ah, well you might have a problem with that, Dr. Evans!” yelled the time lord. “Because the sun shines out of my every orofice!”
“Or rather he thinks it does,” muttered Donna.
“Well, regardless of whether he does or not, we're here for a purpose, right?!” said John, abruptly changing the subject. “Now, Jack, about making that entrance...I thought that since we're in an Egyptian themed place...”
“No!” exclaimed Matt. “For God's sake, we are not going to walk in here singing Walk Like an Egyptian!”
John blinked. “Well, I guess it's true what they say about people turning into their partners,” he said. “Just a shame that the partner in question is so uptight.”
“Hey!” protested Garrett, though it sounded more like a token protest than anything else.
“Oh, come on, it's true!” laughed John. “And Matt, for your information, I wasn't planning on singing that song. I was thinking of something completely different.”
“Like what, dressing up in Egyptian clothes or something?” asked Donna.
John paused to consider it. “No, but that's a very good idea, Donna. I'll keep it in mind for if I come here again. No, I was thinking of something much more simple, but just as funny.”
“Oh, God,” said Jack, a huge grin spreading over his face. “John, you don't mean...”
“Oh, yes I do, amigo!” John clapped his hands and then stood erect and to attention, his eyes wide open and his hands pressed by his sides. Behind him, he could hear Jack beating out a soft rhythm on his knees and he strode out of the TARDIS, apparently not seeing anything and started chanting under his breath in a monotone. “Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep...”
“Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God!” Matt stood in front of John, his eyebrows almost disappearing underneath the brim of his trilby. “I don't know why you don't just go and shag Imhotep!”
“Tempting thought,” said John, running his tongue over his lips as images assaulted his mind. “Well, unless you're talking about the ragged corpse, of course.” He grinned wolfishly at Matt before Donna suddenly smacked him round the head. “Hey, what was that for?!”
“In case you hadn't noticed, Cowboy, tonight is your stag night,” she said icily. “You're supposed to be having fun and getting hammered, not hanging around in a police box imitating a comic idiot from The Mummy! Honestly, call yourselves the Debauched Ones?!”
“She's right,” said Jack who had also come out. “God, John...what's happened to us? We used to be the life and soul of the party - literally.”
John shrugged. “We just...grew up, I guess,” he said. “You know, we're not twenty-one any more.” He sighed quietly. “However, Donna's right. Tonight is my stag night...and, dammit, I am going to have fun!” He grabbed Jack's hand with one hand and Donna's with the other. “Come on - let's go and find that wretched Time Lord and have some fun!”
“Seconded!” shouted Jack.
~*~
Two hours later...
“You know, Jack, now that I'm drunk...that hat looks really good on you,” slurred John, leering appreciatively at the black hat with the bright yellow lengths of foam hanging off it and flopping in Jack's face like top-heavy pineapple leaves. “Looks really cheerful, you know - gorgeous!”
“Like bananas!” agreed Jack, who hadn't been drinking alcohol, but had instead chosen pint glasses brimming with interesting cocktails made from soft drinks, with the result that he had ended up as high as a kite. “And you know...I love bananas - although, I seem to remember, you were more of an orange man.”
John shrugged drunkenly. “Oh, yes...I love to suck the juice out of those gorgeous segments. You know,” and here, he leaned over conspiratorally, “that sometimes, when we're in bed, Nick loves it when I squeeze the juice out of citrus fruits, mix it in with some melted ice cream and just rub it all over his naked body like it's massage oil and then lie down on top of him so we're both coated and then...we just lick each other clean...” He sighed dreamily, remembering the last time they'd done that. It had meant that they'd both been late for work, because they'd been so exhausted from their marathon session that they'd forgotten to clean the sheets and, of course, there'd been a terrible mess left behind. He shook his head. “How we managed to sleep on those sheets, I will never know.”
Jack giggled. “I am so trying that with Ianto!” he shouted as he poured himself another cocktail (this one consisting of lemonade, orange Tango and mango juice with sliced strawberries added as a final touch). “Never hurts to have a few tricks up one's sleeve when it comes to activities in the bedroom.”
“Indeed not.” John instantly downed another shot. “I am coming up with ways to make the wedding night the most memorable night of our lives as we speak.” He clapped Jack clumsily on the back and grinned lopsidedly at him. “You know, Jack, it'll happen for you as well.”
“What will?” asked Jack, blinking slightly.
“You and Eye Candy. It'll happen one day, mark my words, it will. One day, you'll be sat here, just like me, awaiting the happiest day of your life.” John slapped the table for emphasis.
Jack smiled. “I don't know,” he said. “I mean, I want it to happen for us, I really do, but I just don't know if it's what he wants. The other night, he came in and saw me watching the scene in Brothers and Sisters where Kevin proposes to Scotty and he said, 'Don't go getting any ideas, sir,' and then went to bed.”
John winced slightly. “Ouch.”
“The truth is...I've had the idea for about a year,” admitted Jack. “I want to be able to walk down the street and show those rings off to the world. I want everyone to know just how much I love that man.”
“How do you know that's not what he wants?” asked John reasonably. “He could just be trying to throw you off the scent. Maybe he's planning a big surprise or something.”
“Well, if he is trying to throw me off the scent, it's working really well.” Jack took another gulp of his drink. “I mean, sometimes he'll hold my hand, even kiss me and hug me in public and it's great. It's like we're just another couple out on a date. But then the next week, he'll be so skittish about even touching my hand and it's just subtle little games of footsie under the table. Don't get me wrong, I like those games, but more than that, I wish he'd make up his mind about what he wants instead of blowing hot and cold all the time.”
John nodded. “You want my advice?” he asked. “Talk to Nick. If anyone can help you, he can; he knows Ianto better than anyone. Plus, he'll shake some sense into him if necessary.” He downed yet another shot. “Shit, this stuff is stronger than I remember it being.”
Jack smiled weakly. “I'm being a wet blanket, aren't I? I'm sorry, John, I didn't mean to -”
“Hey,” interrupted John. “Don't even think about finishing that sentence. Nothing could possibly spoil tonight. In fact, it means a lot to me that you're comfortable enough to tell me those things.”
“Thanks.” Jack's smile broadened a bit.
“Not a problem.” John squeezed his hand gently. “Like I said, just talk to Nick and he'll help you out. But, if all else fails and Ianto is still being weird, just do it. Just bite the bullet and go for it. I did, and look where it got me - about to marry the guy I love.”
“You really think that'll work?”
“I really do. And besides, even if he shoots you down - although I don't know how he could, given that it's you - at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.”
Suddenly, the Doctor came hurrying over. “You two had better get over here quick!”
“Why?” asked John. “Has something gone wrong?”
“Not in the way that you're thinking, no...”
“Then what's happened?” asked Jack. “Did you do something?”
“No!” protested the Doctor indignantly. “It's not me!”
“Really?” asked John. “Because, you know, you're wearing a bright pink fez with a white tassel and you've got a load of tacky gold jewellery around your neck.”
“It isn't me!” insisted the Doctor. “Although there was that one time when I came here and...no!” He shook himself. “Garrett's plastered.”
For a moment, no one said anything. Then Jack laughed out loud and clapped his hands. “Thank God!” he cheered. “That guy really needed to loosen up!”
“No, no, no,” insisted the Doctor. “You don't understand. He's not just plastered...he's plastered.”
John sat up. “How plastered?” he asked as he jumped off the chair. He swayed and gripped the side. “Whoa...because I don't think he can be -“
“No, I think you'll find he is as plastered as you are,” said the Doctor, his mouth twitching slightly. He glanced over his shoulder. “And I think he's having way too much fun with Donna.”
Jack blinked as he too stood up. “Doctor, you do know Garrett's gay, don't you?” he asked. “Somehow, I don't think he's all that interested in having 'fun' with Donna.”
“Not that kind of fun!” exclaimed the Doctor in exasperation. “He's...well, come and look for yourselves.”
John exchanged a puzzled look with Jack and they quickly followed the Time Lord, both of them wondering who on earth Garrett had managed to annoy this time. He sincerely hoped that there weren't any aliens hovering around disguised as humans; he knew from past experience that there were some species that someone didn't want to run into, especially when they'd had a little too much to drink.
However, what they saw was nothing like what they had expected. They had expected to see him curled up in a chair and groaning as he clutched his head with a bright yellow bucket at his side. They might even have expected to see him hammering one of the slot machines in irritation as he lost again - Garrett didn't have a lot of luck with them - or even sprawled at one of the games tables telling stupid stories or daft jokes.
But they had certainly not expected to see him with his shirt open (he'd somehow lost his black vest) and dancing on a stage surrounded by half naked dancing men and women throwing glitteriy confetti over him as he sang a rousing rendition of 'Poker Face' by Lady Gaga! He didn't even look remotely bothered by the fact that an enormous crowd was gathering around him and cheering - a crowd that included Donna, who was having a blast with the camera (and making the Doctor's comment about her having too much fun with the young Welshman make far more sense) and Matt, who was watching his partner with an expression caught between shocked delight and arousal.
“I don't believe it,” muttered John. “Is that really...”
Jack flicked a switch on his wrist strap. “Yep, that's definitely Garrett. And no, he's not possessed by anything...unless you count being very drunk as possessed.”
“Well, that is a new one!” said John, laughing. “Possession by alcohol!” He rushed over to Matt and slapped him on the back. “I bet you've never seen him like this, huh?”
“Never!” Matt yelled back. “When you said that you were going to help him lighten up, I certainly didn't mean like this!” He jumped and looked up as everyone suddenly started screaming and cheering, just in time to see Garrett whip off his shirt and throw it into the crowd before wrapping himself around a pole someone had brought onto the stage and starting an extremely erotic dance.
John whistled. “But he looks good!”
“Oh, yes,” said Matt dreamily. “He looks really good...”
A minute or two later, the song ended and, to the surprise of everyone who knew him, Garrett rushed over and, with a loud yell of “Geronimo!” he leapt off the stage and, amazingly, landed straight in Matt's arms. He looked up and grinned at him. “Hey, gorgeous!” he slurred.
“Hi, sexy,” said Matt, falling into step instantly. “Nice jump.”
“I know! I saw you there and I knew right then that I just wanted to jump into your arms! Because you're my partner and I love you!”
Matt blushed furiously. “I love you too,” he said. “Now, let's find your shirt...”
“No!” insisted Garrett. “No, no...let's....let's do something amazing!”
“Like what, a karaoke duet?” asked John, snickering.
“No! Let's...” Garrett snapped his fingers. “Let's get married, here and tonight!”
The crowd around them shrieked and cheered wildly. Matt's mouth fell open and he nearly dropped his partner on the ground. “Wh-wh-what?”
John blinked a few times. “Er, not to break the moment, but...Garrett, here's your shirt.”
Garrett ignored him. “You and me,” he said to Matt. “Let's get married tonight! Think about it. Donna can...you know...take photos, John and Jack can be witnesses and...and the Doctor can perform the ceremony!” He looked over at John, his eyes travelling over his body. “You would look so good in a dress. And Jack! He would look amazing in a gladiator outfit, you know, like the ones in Caesar's Palace!”
Jack, who had come over a few minutes earlier, preeneed. “I would look good, wouldn't I? Ianto always said that I have great legs. And John,” he grinned, “I seem to recall that you do look great in a dress.” A rather dirty grin spread over his face. “I'm in!”
“Me too!” said John and Donna simultaneously.
Matt was blinking in confusion. “Garry...are you sure?”
“Yes, I'm sure, Matt!” Garrett looked up at him. “I love you. I want you to marry me. Right here in Las Vegas and right now tonight!” He slid out of Matt's arms and dropped onto the ground. “Marry me.”
Matt stared at his friends for a moment, stunned. Then, very slowly, a huge grin spread over his face. “Who'd have thought it? The stag do gets a wedding!” He helped Garrett back to his feet. “Yes, Garrett, I'll marry you. I will marry you tonight!”
“Yes!” Garrett grabbed his partner and kissed him senseless. “Now...where's my shirt?”
~*~
Caesar's Palace...
“Damn, Jack!” John whispered, his tongue almost hanging out as they both walked into the room with Jack wearing an almost indecently short gladiator outfit he'd borrowed from someone in the hotel - someone who had obviously been quite a bit shorter than he was. The fake armour barely covered his thighs and, had the tunic been much shorter, he would probably have been arrested for indecent exposure.
Jack grinned. “You don't look half bad yourself,” he said, leering appreciatively at John's outfit, which consisted of a pale pink sparkly dress that could easily have doubled up as an outfit on Strictly Come Dancing and baby pink and white flowers in his hair. He was also wearing the most ridiculous shoes anyone had ever seen; silver sandals with stiletto heels at least a foot high and with disco balls inside them so that they rattled whenever he walked forwards.
“I like to think that this is a rather flattering colour for me,” John said, performing a twirl as he reached the back of the room. “And these shoes are just amazing!”
“They do suit you,” agreed the Doctor, who had just walked in, having somehow added yet more tacky jewellery to the already enormous collection he'd picked up in the Luxor. In his hands, he was holding a lead with a large stuffed dog with two gold rings attached to a collar around its neck. “What?” he asked, seeing Jack's baffled look. “I won the dog at the casino and then went out and bought the rings from the souvenir shop. ”
“Doctor,” said Jack, a grin spreading over his face. “That is bloody brilliant!”
“I thought so too,” said the Doctor, grinning. “Donna, have you got the camera?”
“Aye, sir!” Donna saluted.
“Excellent! Because here come the grooms!”
A blast of music, which John soon realised was an instrumental medley of tunes from, of all things, 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' erupted through the room as Matt and Garrett stepped through the doors and, arm in arm, they half-walked and half-skipped up to where the others were waiting, both of them grinning crazily. “All right!” said Garrett, not even blinking as Donna snapped photo after photo before finally switching the camera onto the video mode. “Let's get married!”
“Right!” The Doctor saluted them both. “Well, we are gathered here today in this casino to celebrate the union between Matthew Davies and Garrett Evans...”
“Yeah, yeah, we all know that! Get on with it!” Garrett was almost bouncing out of his shoes in anticipation. Matt's mouth twitched as he fought not to laugh.
“Right, well...” the Doctor nodded. “Witnesses, do either of you know of any reason why these two can't marry?”
“No, and I think they'd both murder us if we said yes,” said Jack. John just shook his head, grinning.
“Good!” The Doctor seemed equally excited by now. “Do you two take each other?”
“I do.” The two grooms spoke simultaneously.
“Excellent!” said the Doctor. “Well, then, it gives me great pleasure to say that, by the power invested in me by the Time Lords of Gallifrey and, you know, the rest of the universe, I pronounce you partners for life.”
“Yay!” shrieked Donna, who was also bouncing around. Jack laughed and threw some confetti over the two men as they reached down and took the rings off the toy dog before exchanging them...and then exchanging their saliva.
“Hey!” shouted Jack. “Don't glue yourselves to each other's lips! You've got your first dance now - and I have the perfect song!”
He bounded onto another pedastal, pressing a few buttons on his wrist strap so that music blasted around the room and then grabbed a microphone and started to sing.
“Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before.
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you.”
Matt grinned. “Garrett,” he said, making a rather exaggerated gesture towards the other man, “would you care to join me in our first dance as a married couple?”
Garrett stood up and took his hand. “I'd love to,” he said and allowed his husband to lead him to the middle of the floor.
John rushed over. “Donna,” he whispered, “I really hope you're recording this.”
“But of course,” she said with an impish grin. “I'm telling you now, you're going to have some brilliant blackmail material thanks to these two.”
John also smiled. “Excellent.”
“I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me.
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy.
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency.”
“Is it wrong that I'm just a tiny little bit turned on by this?” whispered the Doctor as he watched the newly married couple press closer to each other as they danced.
“Yes,” said John instantly. “It's wrong that you're only a little bit turned on by it, because it's one of the hottest things I've ever seen!” He sighed. “Damn, I wish Nick was here...and that I didn't have that family tradition to live up to!”
“You mean the no -”
“Don't say it. Don't even think it.”
“Just remember
You're the one thing
I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
This could be love because
I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you.”
At that point, Garrett looked up, his eyes more focused than they'd been all evening. “You know, guys, I really do owe this man everything,” he said. “He's made me see that it's okay to be who I am and that I don't have to hide away any more.” He spun Matt around and dipped him to the ground. “It's not me who's wrong. It's the idiots out there who believe that I should be someone I'm not!”
“Damn right!” said Donna. “You just remember that you said that when you sober up, because it's the truest thing I think I've heard you say.”
“With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know
So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control
Yes I know what's on your mind
When you say:
"Stay with me tonight."”
This time, Matt turned around and spoke out to the group. “Never mind just staying with him tonight,” he said. “At the risk of sounding sappy, I'm going to be staying with him for the rest of my life...and beyond.”
“Because you're basically the only one who can put up with him for that long,” said John, laughing. Garrett blushed, but he didn't disagree. Instead, he laughed along with the others and simply agreed.
“Maybe so,” Matt admitted. “But he's also the only one who can constantly put up with me as well!” He laughed and kissed Garrett fervently. “I love you, babe.”
“Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you.
'Cause I had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I've found the truth
and I owe it all to you...”
As the song ended, Garrett grabbed Matt in his arms and kissed him senseless, dipping him down to the ground and melting against him. “I love you,” he growled out, making everyone shiver as the heat from his words reached them. “And I meant every word I said. I really do owe all my happiness to you.
“Damn,” John hissed. “I'm really starting to wish I hadn't made that no-sex-till-the-wedding pact now!”
Jack snickered. “I'm just impressed you both kept it!”
The Doctor grinned. “Now, how about heading back to the TARDIS for a few glasses of champagne before I run you guys home?”
John nodded. “Deal.”
~*~
“Oh, dear,” said Jack, laughing as, the moment the TARDIS doors opened and revealed the inside of the Hub, Garrett rushed out and downstairs to the toilets. “Well, he'll know for next time that too much alcohol does not go well with Time Lord transport.”
“Hey!” protested the Doctor. “I am an excellent driver! I got you home, didn't I?” He checked his watch. “11th June 2013, about ten minutes after the others came back from Amsterdam. Oh, yes, I'm good!”
“Don't flatter yourself,” said Matt wryly as he stepped out to see how Garrett was doing.
John followed them into the Hub where the most perculiar sight met his eyes. Nick, now dressed in a tie-dyed T-shirt and faded blue jeans and with braids in his hair, was leaning against the wall giggling to himself, while Ianto was sprawled on the sofa, also dressed like a hippy. Both cousins were covered in paint as well as what looked like chocolate. However, it wasn't until John got closer that he saw what Nick was giggling at.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, winding his arms around his partner's waist. “What've you been taking pictures of that's made you so giggly?”
Nick turned round and grinned at him. “Hey,” he said, leaning in to steal a kiss, blinking as he saw Jack, still naked from the waist up, wander onto the balcony outside the hothouse and gaze down on the scene. “Er, what happened to Jack's jacket?”
“He lost it debauching a monastery,” said John with a laugh. “Long story.”
“Oh,” said Nick, shrugging. “Well, check this out!” He showed John the video he'd been snickering over. It showed the group in a large disco hall with everyone dancing happily to cheerful Indian music. “There was an Indian night there,” he explained. “And, given that everyone knows that I love Indian music, they felt that they had to drag me there. Now, check this out!”
He fastforwarded the film a little way until he came to a clip where the floor had cleared, apart from one man with bright blonde hair dancing around to a fast Bollywood number. John gaped as he recognised him. “Is that -”
“Oh, yes.” Nick chuckled. “Apparently, Dan really does loosen up when he's a little tipsy.” He turned up the volume a little bit, just in time for John to hear Dan, who was waving his arms around wildy, shout out 'I can dance!' at the top of his voice. A second later, Rupesh joined him, his mouth twitching with laughter. 'No, you can't!' he responded.
John burst out laughing. “Nick, you have got to keep that! Seriously, if Dan and Rupesh ever get married, you have got to play this at their weddings!”
“Quiet!” hissed Nick. “They're only down in Jack's bunker, they might hear you!”
“They're downstairs?” John blinked several times in surprise. “Together?”
“Come and see.” Nick took John's hand and led him into Jack's office. He knelt down in front of the hole in the floor. “Look.”
John glanced down the hall, squinting slightly before his eyes adjusted to the dim light. At first, he thought he was just looking at a pile of bedclothes tossed carelessly over the bed - since, according to Ianto, Jack very rarely made the bed unless it was absolutely necessary. However, as he looked closer, he realised that they were actually two shirts - one blue and white checked and the other deep green - and an oversized dark grey jacket.
However, the most shocking sight of all was the sight of the two men lying together on the bed, fast asleep and wrapped so tightly around each other it looked as if it would hurt to separate them. Dan's head shifted slightly and his cheek nuzzled the top of Rupesh's head, making his usually sleek hair stand up on end. The dark-haired man stirred slightly, his eyes flickering open and closed, before he settled down again, burrowing his nose in Dan's shoulder.
“Wow,” said John weakly as he and Nick crept back out of Jack's office. “I didn't see that one coming.”
“Well, it was a bit of a surprise when I saw them making out in the back room of a Dutch club,” said Nick, laughing softly. “But I hope things work out. Dan needs someone now; he's been alone for too long.”
“Has he had a partner since...” but John trailed off when Nick shook his head. “Wow.”
Nick sighed quietly. “Yeah, wow.” He shook himself slightly. “Anyway, how was your do?”
“Well,” said John slowly. “It turns out that Dan isn't the only one who lightens up when he's a little tipsy. Garrett's pretty good at that as well. Look.” And he dug out his camera and showed Nick the pictures and videos that Donna had taken during the course of the night.
“You do realise Garrett will kill you - repeatedly - if you make these public?” asked Nick.
“Oh, yes, I do. But then again, I'm not going to be the one to do that.” John grinned wickedly. “Didn't you tell me that Declan has a YouTube account?”
***
Next Time: It's time for the rehearsal dinner!
And this is the clip from Brothers and Sisters that Jack referred to in his conversation with John (and possibly one of the sweetest scenes in the show!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD-ggZa_XVc
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick,
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Nick Jones, and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: The stag party comes to a memorable climax with several surprises along the way!
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html
Chapter 7
The group stared out at the lobby, heaving with people laughing and dancing around, with some of them even occasionally pausing to flirt with the waiting staff. For a moment, John wondered if the Doctor had actually taken them to the Luxorian Nebula in its heyday rather than back to Earth, because the place really did look scarily like it - bright lights, blaring music and attractive men and women everywhere, some of them dressed very scantily indeed. However, a quick glance at his wrist strap told him that they were, in fact, exactly where the Time Lord had told them they were.
“Wow...” said Matt weakly.
Wow is right, John thought to himself as he stared around the interior of the enormous pyramid shaped buildng. I remember coming here back when it was first opened and damn, they've done a seriously good job of renovating it! It looks more vibrant than ever and, even better, it's absolutely packed out with tourists if all the noise is anything to go by. Oh, this is going to be good!
He rubbed his hands and grinned. “Jack?” he said slowly.
“Yes, John?”
“Are you ready to make an entrance?”
“Never been more ready in my life!” Jack clapped his hands together, but then stopped and frowned. “Er, Doctor?” he said. “Not to put too fine a point on it, but...how long have we been gone?”
“What?” The Doctor blinked at him. “How long have you been...?”
“Gone, yes.” John instantly picked up on Jack's train of thought. “Because, I warn you now, Doctor, if you've made me miss my wedding, Ianto isn't going to have the chance to regenerate you, because I will do it first.”
“Now would I do a thing like that?” asked the Doctor, affecting a hurt look.
“Yes!” said Jack emphatically. “Or have you forgotten the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident already?”
The Doctor winced. “Touche. But, in my defence, that was a different regeneration!” He gave them what he clearly hoped was a winning smile, but then swallowed as John glared at him threateningly. “Right, well, anyway, I'll just go and check what the date is and when we are and everything.” With a slightly nervous nod, he bounded away to another part of the TARDIS, occasionally pausing to shift a couple of levers.
“What was the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident?” asked Matt, frowning.
“Well,” said Jack, twirling a few bits of hair around his fingers, “let's just say that, for a Time Lord, the Doctor isn't always very good at turning up or dropping people off when he should. He's been known to get it really wrong sometimes, actually.”
“If he has made me miss my wedding, I will regenerate him,” John reiterated, although despite his strong words, the image in his mind of Nick standing on the stage and the expression that crossed his face as he looked up and realised that his partner wasn't there tore at his heart. He blinked hard, trying to clear those thoughts and leaned against the TARDIS wall, breathing deeply.
“Hey.” Jack reached over and tilted John's face upwards so that they were looking at each other. “We'll back for the wedding, even if we have to break the laws of time itself.”
“You really think the Doctor would do that?” asked Garrett, looking sceptical.
“He might not,” said Jack. “But I would. I can see just how important this wedding is, John, and I will do anything to make sure that we're all back in time for it - and I mean, anything.”
John blinked and mentally kicked himself. “You're right,” he said, grinning now. “We're former Time Agents, for God's sake - if anyone can break the rules of time and get away with it, we can!”
“That's debatable,” interjected the Doctor, who had reappeared a moment later. “But don't worry, you won't need to. We've only been away for a few hours. Nick and the others will probably only just have touched down in Amsterdam.”
“Amsterdam?!” exclaimed Jack, a broad grin crossing his face. “Cool!”
“Yes, yes, they've got a few wild days ahead of them,” said the Doctor airily. “But never mind that now - it's time for me to give you guys the time of your life!”
“Oi!” exclaimed Donna. “I am still here, you know!”
“You're included as well, Miss Noble!” insisted the Doctor. He cleared his throat loudly, causing everyone to cover their ears briefly. “And now, as promised...a night of debauchery, drinking and dancing! Allon -”
“Doctor!” interrrupted Garrett. “If you finish that word, I am going to...find something very sharp and very pointy and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!”
“Ah, well you might have a problem with that, Dr. Evans!” yelled the time lord. “Because the sun shines out of my every orofice!”
“Or rather he thinks it does,” muttered Donna.
“Well, regardless of whether he does or not, we're here for a purpose, right?!” said John, abruptly changing the subject. “Now, Jack, about making that entrance...I thought that since we're in an Egyptian themed place...”
“No!” exclaimed Matt. “For God's sake, we are not going to walk in here singing Walk Like an Egyptian!”
John blinked. “Well, I guess it's true what they say about people turning into their partners,” he said. “Just a shame that the partner in question is so uptight.”
“Hey!” protested Garrett, though it sounded more like a token protest than anything else.
“Oh, come on, it's true!” laughed John. “And Matt, for your information, I wasn't planning on singing that song. I was thinking of something completely different.”
“Like what, dressing up in Egyptian clothes or something?” asked Donna.
John paused to consider it. “No, but that's a very good idea, Donna. I'll keep it in mind for if I come here again. No, I was thinking of something much more simple, but just as funny.”
“Oh, God,” said Jack, a huge grin spreading over his face. “John, you don't mean...”
“Oh, yes I do, amigo!” John clapped his hands and then stood erect and to attention, his eyes wide open and his hands pressed by his sides. Behind him, he could hear Jack beating out a soft rhythm on his knees and he strode out of the TARDIS, apparently not seeing anything and started chanting under his breath in a monotone. “Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep...”
“Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God!” Matt stood in front of John, his eyebrows almost disappearing underneath the brim of his trilby. “I don't know why you don't just go and shag Imhotep!”
“Tempting thought,” said John, running his tongue over his lips as images assaulted his mind. “Well, unless you're talking about the ragged corpse, of course.” He grinned wolfishly at Matt before Donna suddenly smacked him round the head. “Hey, what was that for?!”
“In case you hadn't noticed, Cowboy, tonight is your stag night,” she said icily. “You're supposed to be having fun and getting hammered, not hanging around in a police box imitating a comic idiot from The Mummy! Honestly, call yourselves the Debauched Ones?!”
“She's right,” said Jack who had also come out. “God, John...what's happened to us? We used to be the life and soul of the party - literally.”
John shrugged. “We just...grew up, I guess,” he said. “You know, we're not twenty-one any more.” He sighed quietly. “However, Donna's right. Tonight is my stag night...and, dammit, I am going to have fun!” He grabbed Jack's hand with one hand and Donna's with the other. “Come on - let's go and find that wretched Time Lord and have some fun!”
“Seconded!” shouted Jack.
~*~
Two hours later...
“You know, Jack, now that I'm drunk...that hat looks really good on you,” slurred John, leering appreciatively at the black hat with the bright yellow lengths of foam hanging off it and flopping in Jack's face like top-heavy pineapple leaves. “Looks really cheerful, you know - gorgeous!”
“Like bananas!” agreed Jack, who hadn't been drinking alcohol, but had instead chosen pint glasses brimming with interesting cocktails made from soft drinks, with the result that he had ended up as high as a kite. “And you know...I love bananas - although, I seem to remember, you were more of an orange man.”
John shrugged drunkenly. “Oh, yes...I love to suck the juice out of those gorgeous segments. You know,” and here, he leaned over conspiratorally, “that sometimes, when we're in bed, Nick loves it when I squeeze the juice out of citrus fruits, mix it in with some melted ice cream and just rub it all over his naked body like it's massage oil and then lie down on top of him so we're both coated and then...we just lick each other clean...” He sighed dreamily, remembering the last time they'd done that. It had meant that they'd both been late for work, because they'd been so exhausted from their marathon session that they'd forgotten to clean the sheets and, of course, there'd been a terrible mess left behind. He shook his head. “How we managed to sleep on those sheets, I will never know.”
Jack giggled. “I am so trying that with Ianto!” he shouted as he poured himself another cocktail (this one consisting of lemonade, orange Tango and mango juice with sliced strawberries added as a final touch). “Never hurts to have a few tricks up one's sleeve when it comes to activities in the bedroom.”
“Indeed not.” John instantly downed another shot. “I am coming up with ways to make the wedding night the most memorable night of our lives as we speak.” He clapped Jack clumsily on the back and grinned lopsidedly at him. “You know, Jack, it'll happen for you as well.”
“What will?” asked Jack, blinking slightly.
“You and Eye Candy. It'll happen one day, mark my words, it will. One day, you'll be sat here, just like me, awaiting the happiest day of your life.” John slapped the table for emphasis.
Jack smiled. “I don't know,” he said. “I mean, I want it to happen for us, I really do, but I just don't know if it's what he wants. The other night, he came in and saw me watching the scene in Brothers and Sisters where Kevin proposes to Scotty and he said, 'Don't go getting any ideas, sir,' and then went to bed.”
John winced slightly. “Ouch.”
“The truth is...I've had the idea for about a year,” admitted Jack. “I want to be able to walk down the street and show those rings off to the world. I want everyone to know just how much I love that man.”
“How do you know that's not what he wants?” asked John reasonably. “He could just be trying to throw you off the scent. Maybe he's planning a big surprise or something.”
“Well, if he is trying to throw me off the scent, it's working really well.” Jack took another gulp of his drink. “I mean, sometimes he'll hold my hand, even kiss me and hug me in public and it's great. It's like we're just another couple out on a date. But then the next week, he'll be so skittish about even touching my hand and it's just subtle little games of footsie under the table. Don't get me wrong, I like those games, but more than that, I wish he'd make up his mind about what he wants instead of blowing hot and cold all the time.”
John nodded. “You want my advice?” he asked. “Talk to Nick. If anyone can help you, he can; he knows Ianto better than anyone. Plus, he'll shake some sense into him if necessary.” He downed yet another shot. “Shit, this stuff is stronger than I remember it being.”
Jack smiled weakly. “I'm being a wet blanket, aren't I? I'm sorry, John, I didn't mean to -”
“Hey,” interrupted John. “Don't even think about finishing that sentence. Nothing could possibly spoil tonight. In fact, it means a lot to me that you're comfortable enough to tell me those things.”
“Thanks.” Jack's smile broadened a bit.
“Not a problem.” John squeezed his hand gently. “Like I said, just talk to Nick and he'll help you out. But, if all else fails and Ianto is still being weird, just do it. Just bite the bullet and go for it. I did, and look where it got me - about to marry the guy I love.”
“You really think that'll work?”
“I really do. And besides, even if he shoots you down - although I don't know how he could, given that it's you - at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.”
Suddenly, the Doctor came hurrying over. “You two had better get over here quick!”
“Why?” asked John. “Has something gone wrong?”
“Not in the way that you're thinking, no...”
“Then what's happened?” asked Jack. “Did you do something?”
“No!” protested the Doctor indignantly. “It's not me!”
“Really?” asked John. “Because, you know, you're wearing a bright pink fez with a white tassel and you've got a load of tacky gold jewellery around your neck.”
“It isn't me!” insisted the Doctor. “Although there was that one time when I came here and...no!” He shook himself. “Garrett's plastered.”
For a moment, no one said anything. Then Jack laughed out loud and clapped his hands. “Thank God!” he cheered. “That guy really needed to loosen up!”
“No, no, no,” insisted the Doctor. “You don't understand. He's not just plastered...he's plastered.”
John sat up. “How plastered?” he asked as he jumped off the chair. He swayed and gripped the side. “Whoa...because I don't think he can be -“
“No, I think you'll find he is as plastered as you are,” said the Doctor, his mouth twitching slightly. He glanced over his shoulder. “And I think he's having way too much fun with Donna.”
Jack blinked as he too stood up. “Doctor, you do know Garrett's gay, don't you?” he asked. “Somehow, I don't think he's all that interested in having 'fun' with Donna.”
“Not that kind of fun!” exclaimed the Doctor in exasperation. “He's...well, come and look for yourselves.”
John exchanged a puzzled look with Jack and they quickly followed the Time Lord, both of them wondering who on earth Garrett had managed to annoy this time. He sincerely hoped that there weren't any aliens hovering around disguised as humans; he knew from past experience that there were some species that someone didn't want to run into, especially when they'd had a little too much to drink.
However, what they saw was nothing like what they had expected. They had expected to see him curled up in a chair and groaning as he clutched his head with a bright yellow bucket at his side. They might even have expected to see him hammering one of the slot machines in irritation as he lost again - Garrett didn't have a lot of luck with them - or even sprawled at one of the games tables telling stupid stories or daft jokes.
But they had certainly not expected to see him with his shirt open (he'd somehow lost his black vest) and dancing on a stage surrounded by half naked dancing men and women throwing glitteriy confetti over him as he sang a rousing rendition of 'Poker Face' by Lady Gaga! He didn't even look remotely bothered by the fact that an enormous crowd was gathering around him and cheering - a crowd that included Donna, who was having a blast with the camera (and making the Doctor's comment about her having too much fun with the young Welshman make far more sense) and Matt, who was watching his partner with an expression caught between shocked delight and arousal.
“I don't believe it,” muttered John. “Is that really...”
Jack flicked a switch on his wrist strap. “Yep, that's definitely Garrett. And no, he's not possessed by anything...unless you count being very drunk as possessed.”
“Well, that is a new one!” said John, laughing. “Possession by alcohol!” He rushed over to Matt and slapped him on the back. “I bet you've never seen him like this, huh?”
“Never!” Matt yelled back. “When you said that you were going to help him lighten up, I certainly didn't mean like this!” He jumped and looked up as everyone suddenly started screaming and cheering, just in time to see Garrett whip off his shirt and throw it into the crowd before wrapping himself around a pole someone had brought onto the stage and starting an extremely erotic dance.
John whistled. “But he looks good!”
“Oh, yes,” said Matt dreamily. “He looks really good...”
A minute or two later, the song ended and, to the surprise of everyone who knew him, Garrett rushed over and, with a loud yell of “Geronimo!” he leapt off the stage and, amazingly, landed straight in Matt's arms. He looked up and grinned at him. “Hey, gorgeous!” he slurred.
“Hi, sexy,” said Matt, falling into step instantly. “Nice jump.”
“I know! I saw you there and I knew right then that I just wanted to jump into your arms! Because you're my partner and I love you!”
Matt blushed furiously. “I love you too,” he said. “Now, let's find your shirt...”
“No!” insisted Garrett. “No, no...let's....let's do something amazing!”
“Like what, a karaoke duet?” asked John, snickering.
“No! Let's...” Garrett snapped his fingers. “Let's get married, here and tonight!”
The crowd around them shrieked and cheered wildly. Matt's mouth fell open and he nearly dropped his partner on the ground. “Wh-wh-what?”
John blinked a few times. “Er, not to break the moment, but...Garrett, here's your shirt.”
Garrett ignored him. “You and me,” he said to Matt. “Let's get married tonight! Think about it. Donna can...you know...take photos, John and Jack can be witnesses and...and the Doctor can perform the ceremony!” He looked over at John, his eyes travelling over his body. “You would look so good in a dress. And Jack! He would look amazing in a gladiator outfit, you know, like the ones in Caesar's Palace!”
Jack, who had come over a few minutes earlier, preeneed. “I would look good, wouldn't I? Ianto always said that I have great legs. And John,” he grinned, “I seem to recall that you do look great in a dress.” A rather dirty grin spread over his face. “I'm in!”
“Me too!” said John and Donna simultaneously.
Matt was blinking in confusion. “Garry...are you sure?”
“Yes, I'm sure, Matt!” Garrett looked up at him. “I love you. I want you to marry me. Right here in Las Vegas and right now tonight!” He slid out of Matt's arms and dropped onto the ground. “Marry me.”
Matt stared at his friends for a moment, stunned. Then, very slowly, a huge grin spread over his face. “Who'd have thought it? The stag do gets a wedding!” He helped Garrett back to his feet. “Yes, Garrett, I'll marry you. I will marry you tonight!”
“Yes!” Garrett grabbed his partner and kissed him senseless. “Now...where's my shirt?”
~*~
Caesar's Palace...
“Damn, Jack!” John whispered, his tongue almost hanging out as they both walked into the room with Jack wearing an almost indecently short gladiator outfit he'd borrowed from someone in the hotel - someone who had obviously been quite a bit shorter than he was. The fake armour barely covered his thighs and, had the tunic been much shorter, he would probably have been arrested for indecent exposure.
Jack grinned. “You don't look half bad yourself,” he said, leering appreciatively at John's outfit, which consisted of a pale pink sparkly dress that could easily have doubled up as an outfit on Strictly Come Dancing and baby pink and white flowers in his hair. He was also wearing the most ridiculous shoes anyone had ever seen; silver sandals with stiletto heels at least a foot high and with disco balls inside them so that they rattled whenever he walked forwards.
“I like to think that this is a rather flattering colour for me,” John said, performing a twirl as he reached the back of the room. “And these shoes are just amazing!”
“They do suit you,” agreed the Doctor, who had just walked in, having somehow added yet more tacky jewellery to the already enormous collection he'd picked up in the Luxor. In his hands, he was holding a lead with a large stuffed dog with two gold rings attached to a collar around its neck. “What?” he asked, seeing Jack's baffled look. “I won the dog at the casino and then went out and bought the rings from the souvenir shop. ”
“Doctor,” said Jack, a grin spreading over his face. “That is bloody brilliant!”
“I thought so too,” said the Doctor, grinning. “Donna, have you got the camera?”
“Aye, sir!” Donna saluted.
“Excellent! Because here come the grooms!”
A blast of music, which John soon realised was an instrumental medley of tunes from, of all things, 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' erupted through the room as Matt and Garrett stepped through the doors and, arm in arm, they half-walked and half-skipped up to where the others were waiting, both of them grinning crazily. “All right!” said Garrett, not even blinking as Donna snapped photo after photo before finally switching the camera onto the video mode. “Let's get married!”
“Right!” The Doctor saluted them both. “Well, we are gathered here today in this casino to celebrate the union between Matthew Davies and Garrett Evans...”
“Yeah, yeah, we all know that! Get on with it!” Garrett was almost bouncing out of his shoes in anticipation. Matt's mouth twitched as he fought not to laugh.
“Right, well...” the Doctor nodded. “Witnesses, do either of you know of any reason why these two can't marry?”
“No, and I think they'd both murder us if we said yes,” said Jack. John just shook his head, grinning.
“Good!” The Doctor seemed equally excited by now. “Do you two take each other?”
“I do.” The two grooms spoke simultaneously.
“Excellent!” said the Doctor. “Well, then, it gives me great pleasure to say that, by the power invested in me by the Time Lords of Gallifrey and, you know, the rest of the universe, I pronounce you partners for life.”
“Yay!” shrieked Donna, who was also bouncing around. Jack laughed and threw some confetti over the two men as they reached down and took the rings off the toy dog before exchanging them...and then exchanging their saliva.
“Hey!” shouted Jack. “Don't glue yourselves to each other's lips! You've got your first dance now - and I have the perfect song!”
He bounded onto another pedastal, pressing a few buttons on his wrist strap so that music blasted around the room and then grabbed a microphone and started to sing.
“Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before.
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you.”
Matt grinned. “Garrett,” he said, making a rather exaggerated gesture towards the other man, “would you care to join me in our first dance as a married couple?”
Garrett stood up and took his hand. “I'd love to,” he said and allowed his husband to lead him to the middle of the floor.
John rushed over. “Donna,” he whispered, “I really hope you're recording this.”
“But of course,” she said with an impish grin. “I'm telling you now, you're going to have some brilliant blackmail material thanks to these two.”
John also smiled. “Excellent.”
“I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me.
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy.
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency.”
“Is it wrong that I'm just a tiny little bit turned on by this?” whispered the Doctor as he watched the newly married couple press closer to each other as they danced.
“Yes,” said John instantly. “It's wrong that you're only a little bit turned on by it, because it's one of the hottest things I've ever seen!” He sighed. “Damn, I wish Nick was here...and that I didn't have that family tradition to live up to!”
“You mean the no -”
“Don't say it. Don't even think it.”
“Just remember
You're the one thing
I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
This could be love because
I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you.”
At that point, Garrett looked up, his eyes more focused than they'd been all evening. “You know, guys, I really do owe this man everything,” he said. “He's made me see that it's okay to be who I am and that I don't have to hide away any more.” He spun Matt around and dipped him to the ground. “It's not me who's wrong. It's the idiots out there who believe that I should be someone I'm not!”
“Damn right!” said Donna. “You just remember that you said that when you sober up, because it's the truest thing I think I've heard you say.”
“With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know
So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control
Yes I know what's on your mind
When you say:
"Stay with me tonight."”
This time, Matt turned around and spoke out to the group. “Never mind just staying with him tonight,” he said. “At the risk of sounding sappy, I'm going to be staying with him for the rest of my life...and beyond.”
“Because you're basically the only one who can put up with him for that long,” said John, laughing. Garrett blushed, but he didn't disagree. Instead, he laughed along with the others and simply agreed.
“Maybe so,” Matt admitted. “But he's also the only one who can constantly put up with me as well!” He laughed and kissed Garrett fervently. “I love you, babe.”
“Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you.
'Cause I had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I've found the truth
and I owe it all to you...”
As the song ended, Garrett grabbed Matt in his arms and kissed him senseless, dipping him down to the ground and melting against him. “I love you,” he growled out, making everyone shiver as the heat from his words reached them. “And I meant every word I said. I really do owe all my happiness to you.
“Damn,” John hissed. “I'm really starting to wish I hadn't made that no-sex-till-the-wedding pact now!”
Jack snickered. “I'm just impressed you both kept it!”
The Doctor grinned. “Now, how about heading back to the TARDIS for a few glasses of champagne before I run you guys home?”
John nodded. “Deal.”
~*~
“Oh, dear,” said Jack, laughing as, the moment the TARDIS doors opened and revealed the inside of the Hub, Garrett rushed out and downstairs to the toilets. “Well, he'll know for next time that too much alcohol does not go well with Time Lord transport.”
“Hey!” protested the Doctor. “I am an excellent driver! I got you home, didn't I?” He checked his watch. “11th June 2013, about ten minutes after the others came back from Amsterdam. Oh, yes, I'm good!”
“Don't flatter yourself,” said Matt wryly as he stepped out to see how Garrett was doing.
John followed them into the Hub where the most perculiar sight met his eyes. Nick, now dressed in a tie-dyed T-shirt and faded blue jeans and with braids in his hair, was leaning against the wall giggling to himself, while Ianto was sprawled on the sofa, also dressed like a hippy. Both cousins were covered in paint as well as what looked like chocolate. However, it wasn't until John got closer that he saw what Nick was giggling at.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, winding his arms around his partner's waist. “What've you been taking pictures of that's made you so giggly?”
Nick turned round and grinned at him. “Hey,” he said, leaning in to steal a kiss, blinking as he saw Jack, still naked from the waist up, wander onto the balcony outside the hothouse and gaze down on the scene. “Er, what happened to Jack's jacket?”
“He lost it debauching a monastery,” said John with a laugh. “Long story.”
“Oh,” said Nick, shrugging. “Well, check this out!” He showed John the video he'd been snickering over. It showed the group in a large disco hall with everyone dancing happily to cheerful Indian music. “There was an Indian night there,” he explained. “And, given that everyone knows that I love Indian music, they felt that they had to drag me there. Now, check this out!”
He fastforwarded the film a little way until he came to a clip where the floor had cleared, apart from one man with bright blonde hair dancing around to a fast Bollywood number. John gaped as he recognised him. “Is that -”
“Oh, yes.” Nick chuckled. “Apparently, Dan really does loosen up when he's a little tipsy.” He turned up the volume a little bit, just in time for John to hear Dan, who was waving his arms around wildy, shout out 'I can dance!' at the top of his voice. A second later, Rupesh joined him, his mouth twitching with laughter. 'No, you can't!' he responded.
John burst out laughing. “Nick, you have got to keep that! Seriously, if Dan and Rupesh ever get married, you have got to play this at their weddings!”
“Quiet!” hissed Nick. “They're only down in Jack's bunker, they might hear you!”
“They're downstairs?” John blinked several times in surprise. “Together?”
“Come and see.” Nick took John's hand and led him into Jack's office. He knelt down in front of the hole in the floor. “Look.”
John glanced down the hall, squinting slightly before his eyes adjusted to the dim light. At first, he thought he was just looking at a pile of bedclothes tossed carelessly over the bed - since, according to Ianto, Jack very rarely made the bed unless it was absolutely necessary. However, as he looked closer, he realised that they were actually two shirts - one blue and white checked and the other deep green - and an oversized dark grey jacket.
However, the most shocking sight of all was the sight of the two men lying together on the bed, fast asleep and wrapped so tightly around each other it looked as if it would hurt to separate them. Dan's head shifted slightly and his cheek nuzzled the top of Rupesh's head, making his usually sleek hair stand up on end. The dark-haired man stirred slightly, his eyes flickering open and closed, before he settled down again, burrowing his nose in Dan's shoulder.
“Wow,” said John weakly as he and Nick crept back out of Jack's office. “I didn't see that one coming.”
“Well, it was a bit of a surprise when I saw them making out in the back room of a Dutch club,” said Nick, laughing softly. “But I hope things work out. Dan needs someone now; he's been alone for too long.”
“Has he had a partner since...” but John trailed off when Nick shook his head. “Wow.”
Nick sighed quietly. “Yeah, wow.” He shook himself slightly. “Anyway, how was your do?”
“Well,” said John slowly. “It turns out that Dan isn't the only one who lightens up when he's a little tipsy. Garrett's pretty good at that as well. Look.” And he dug out his camera and showed Nick the pictures and videos that Donna had taken during the course of the night.
“You do realise Garrett will kill you - repeatedly - if you make these public?” asked Nick.
“Oh, yes, I do. But then again, I'm not going to be the one to do that.” John grinned wickedly. “Didn't you tell me that Declan has a YouTube account?”
***
Next Time: It's time for the rehearsal dinner!
And this is the clip from Brothers and Sisters that Jack referred to in his conversation with John (and possibly one of the sweetest scenes in the show!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD-ggZa_XVc