Forever Autumn 5/24
Title: Forever Autumn 5/24
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick,
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Nick Jones, and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: The Doctor shows up for John's stag do...where will he take them?
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html
Chapter 5
9th June 2013...
“How about this one then, Jack?” asked John as he tried on what felt like the five millionth outfit - this one consisting of a pair of black trousers, a purple and white tunic with a frilled bottom and embroidery and white high-heeled boots. He twirled round in front of the mirror and grinned at his friend.
Jack blinked. “You are kidding me, right?” he half-squeaked. “I mean, that's a nice outfit, but...” but John cut him off when he burst out laughing.
“Of course I'm joking! Catrin brought these over earlier and dared me to wear them in front of you just so I could freak you out - and judging by the look of your face, I succeeded!”
“You did not freak me out!” protested Jack.
“Sure I didn't.” John laughed and wriggled out of the tunic. “Jack, your eyes look as if they're about to burst out of your head - and no, I don't want to know if that's ever happened to you!”
Jack's mouth twitched slightly. “Hey, you can at least wait for me to get out of the room before you start getting your trousers off!” he spluttered.
John snorted. “What? There was a time when you loved watching me get my trousers off. And may I just say,” he added, running his gaze up and down the skin-tight black trousers and matching army coat that Jack was wearing, “that you look good enough to eat in that outfit.” He was even more pleased to note that his friend had also decided not to wear a shirt and so he was showing off his perfectly toned chest, dark with his seemingly ever present suntan.
Jack nodded. “I was trying for the sexy Captain look,” he explained and revealed his old air force cap from behind his back which he then placed on his head at a rakish angle before hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers. “Like it, soldier?”
“Very nice,” said John with a grin. “But what about me?”
“Hmm.” Jack started rifling through John and Nick's large wardrobe, tutting disapprovingly as he did so. “Shit, John, hasn't Nick managed to teach you how to hang your clothes up?!”
“Nope,” said John cheerfully. It was true; his half of the wardrobe looked as if a bomb had hit it, creating a massive avalanche of socks, tops and belts, whereas Nick's clothes, while still not strictly categorised and sorted according to type the way John suspected Ianto's would be, had at least been folded neatly and put away on the shelves, or, in the case of his suits, hung up (although the basket of dirty washing was almost overflowing onto the floor by this point). “But, you know, feel free to make even more of a mess!” Just make sure you don’t mess up Nick’s clothes, otherwise he will have your hide, he thought with a barely suppressed chuckle.
“No need!” Jack yelled triumphantly. “Try this for size!” He pulled out a dark blue T-shirt and a pair of very tight black leather trousers with a silver studs and fringing on the side with a matching waistcoat and black cowboy hat with a rather ostentatious golden red feather in it. “Remember this?”
John's jaw dropped open. “Where on earth did you find that?” he half-shouted, grabbing the hat. “I thought I threw that out years ago!”
“It was in that black bag you loved carrying around so much,” said Jack. “You know, the one with the gold phoenix on the front. If I recall correctly, that got you into quite a bit of trouble with the Agency, because they thought you'd give yourself away too easily if we were ever on a covert mission!”
“Please,” snorted John. “As if I'd have been stupid enough to do something like that - although, to be fair, it wasn’t as if the Agency was exactly unknown back then.” He tried the hat on and preened in front of the mirror, not caring that he was now only wearing his boxer shorts and his sister-in-law's calf length white cowboy boots. “Besides, I seem to recall you rather liked your one with the dog on it - didn't you keep using it as a pillow?”
“Hey, that leather was very soft!” Jack protested as he unearthed the phoenix bag and tossed it onto the bed. “I was quite upset when it finally gave up the ghost, though.”
“I remember.” John pulled the T-shirt on and grinned at the familiar silver wings on the front. “Looking good,” he whispered to himself as he fastened the trousers on. “Looking really good.”
Jack wolf-whistled. “Damn,” he whispered. “If you weren't getting married and I didn't have Ianto...”
“But I am, and you do,” said John. “Although, if you and Eye Candy ever fancy another one of those orgies...”
“Then you two will be the first to know.”
“Very good to know.” John slipped the waistcoat on over his T-shirt and donned his hat, tilting it at a similar angle to Jack's. He drew his hands up his thighs and made a motion with his fingers that seemed to suggest he was twirling a pair of pistols. “You feelin' lucky, punk?”
“Extremely,” Jack answered with a rakish grin. “Now, let's get to the Hub, the Doctor will be here soon!”
~*~
Nick’s mouth was hanging open when the two former Time Agents entered the Hub. “Damn!” he gasped. “You two look good enough to eat!” His brown eyes lingered firstly on the way that John’s tight trousers clung to him - and seemed to John to cling even tighter when Nick looked at him - and then drifted towards Jack’s chest, at which point the other man instantly started preening with an almost indecent smile on his face.
Ianto came over and slapped his cousin playfully on the arm. “Oi,” he said. “Check out your own boyfriend!” But he was laughing and it was plain that he wasn’t really annoyed.
“That’s fiancé, actually,” said Nick, waving his hand around and showing off the ring on his finger. The colours in the metal danced and sparkled in the new lights that had recently been fitted in the Hub.
Jack grinned. “You two aren't looking too bad yourselves.” Indeed, the two Jones men were, in every sense of the word, dressed to kill. Ianto was wearing dark blue jeans that were so tight they looked as if they'd been painted onto his legs, a black studded belt and an emerald green T-shirt with a short blue jacket over the top.
On his other side, Nick was dressed in black skinny jeans, tucked into black calf-length leather boots and a figure-hugging dark red shirt with an elaborate gold dragon embroidered on one side with little red stones for eyes and coloured stones periodically added as if to signify scales. He had also tossed his new black leather jacket - or, as John called it, his ‘S&M jacket’ - tossed over his shoulder as he leaned casually against the wall, one hand on his hip and a soft pout on his lips.
Ianto rolled his eyes at him from his place on the sofa. “Poser,” he said.
John grinned. “Oh, but he does it so well.” He strolled over to Nick, drew him in by the waist with one hand and cupped his face with the other and then he kissed him. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself,” answered Nick. “Gorgeous.”
John chuckled. “Are you wearing raspberry lip gloss?” he asked, licking his lips.
“You like that?” Nick wound his arms around John’s waist and proceeded to kiss and nibble at the skin on his neck. “Oh, yes, of course you like that, don’t you? Raspberry’s like an aphrodisiac to you, isn’t it?” His hands found their way underneath John’s T-shirt and started rubbing circles over his abdomen.
“Dammit, Nick!” John gasped as he finally managed to pull away. “You are not making this ‘no sex before the wedding night’ pact any easier!”
“Of course not,” said Nick simply. “Where would be the fun in that?”
Ianto nodded. “I heartily agree,” he said with a grin towards Jack, whose eyes had been practically bugging out of his head as he’d watched Nick mauling his partner.
John sighed. “Right, well…where are Matt and Garrett?”
“In the showers with Andie and Emily,” said Nick. “No, not like that, you dirty-minded buggers!” he added as Jack’s eyes bugged out even more and John looked all set to rush straight down there. “The girls are trying to get them dressed for tonight in something different to what they usually wear. But apparently, they’re a little bit…reluctant - or, rather, Garrett’s a little bit reluctant.”
Right on cue, Garrett came back upstairs, looking very pink about the gills and wearing tight black trousers and a half-open shirt that would have looked like something out of Pride and Prejudice, were it not for the fact that it was made of shimmery dark green fabric. He turned around and glared at Emily, who had followed him. “No way!” he said. “I look ridiculous!”
“No, you don’t!” protested Emily. “You look great!”
“Great?!” Garrett stared at her. “I look like…I look like…”
“A young and black-haired Michael Flatley?” suggested Nick, helpfully.
“Yes!” Garrett nodded and then blinked. “Hey!”
“Who’s Michael Flatley?” asked John.
“He was the male lead in Riverdance for years,” explained Jack. “Great dancer, but really full of himself. But he was all mouth and no trousers - at least in my experience, he was.”
“Oh, was he the guy who said that Riverdance wouldn’t continue on without him or something?” asked John. Jack nodded. “Well, that turned out to be rubbish, didn’t it?”
Garrett, who moments before had been staring at Jack incredulously, blinked. “That’s not even the point!” he said. “Emily, if anyone should be looking like Michael Flatley, surely it should be Matt - he’s actually Irish!”
“But it is your shirt,” protested Emily. “Isn’t it? I mean, it was in your locker.”
“Yes, it is, but it wasn’t meant to be worn like this!” He turned on his heel and stormed off back down to the showers, his black hair flying behind him.
A moment later, Matt came up, looking surprised but pleased. “I have to say, I wasn’t really sure about this at first, but this actually looks pretty good.” He was wearing black trousers like Garrett, but his were paired with a dark blue shirt and loosely fastened black tie with a black trilby placed on his head at a similar angle to Jack’s own hat.
“You look like a jazz star,” said Jack, grinning. “It suits you.”
“Yeah, it does rather.” Matt smoothed down his shirt. “Where’s Garry?”
“Ran back downstairs so he could sort his shirt out to look the way he says it should look,” chuckled Nick.
“God, that shirt,” said Matt, laughing. “Quite what possessed him to buy it, I don’t know, but he seems to like it. Personally, I think it looks like something Michael Flatley would wear.”
“Funny that,” said Emily. “Nick just said the same thing.”
Nick shrugged. “You never know, though. Garrett might just prove us wrong and make it look good.”
At that moment and, John thought, as if he was trying to prove that very point, Garrett returned to the main floor, this time with a grin on his face. He was still wearing the green shirt, but he’d unfastened all the buttons and added a black vest underneath with a matching dog collar around his neck.
“Now, this is how a shirt like this should be worn,” he said.
“I have to agree,” said Nick. Matt couldn’t speak; his jaw was hanging open as he started at his partner.
“One of you four had better have packed a camera, because I am going to want pictures of whatever it is you get up to!” Ianto warned.
“Same here,” said John. “Now, Jack, where is that bloody Time Lord?”
“He should be -” but Jack was cut off by a loud whirring sound that filled the Hub and instantly caused Emily, Matt and Garrett to whip out their guns and also brought the rest of the team from wherever they had been. A moment later, to the collective surprise of most of the onlookers - apart from Jack and John, who were grinning and rubbing their hands together, and Ianto who was watching with curiosity - a large blue shape slowly materialised in the middle of the floor. A shape that looked very much like…
“It’s a police telephone box,” said Nick, and John was forced to agree. The object that had just appeared in front of them did indeed look very much like an old-fashioned telephone booth. But then, the door opened and a man with messy brown hair and twinkling dark eyes, and wearing a pinstriped suit, stepped out. He clapped his hands and glanced around, apparently taking everything in before his eyes finally fixed on the group watching him with a mixture of amusement, confusion and outright suspicion.
“Oh, hello!” he said, a broad smile suddenly appearing on his face as he did a very theatrical jump in the air. “You must be Jack’s team! And where is the man himself, if I may ask?”
“I’m right here,” said Jack.
“Oh, yes, of course you are!” The man’s grin broadened and he slapped Jack hard on the back. “Er, why are those three training guns on me?”
“Maybe because, as far as they’re concerned, a strange man has just appeared travelling in what appears to be a police box,” said John rather dryly.
“Right, yes, of course! Sorry about that!” He clapped his hands and grinned even more broadly. “I’m the Doctor. And this,” he patted the police box, “is the TARDIS.”
“Oi!” A woman with long red hair and a rather annoyed look on her face stepped outside. “And what about me, Spaceboy, hmm? Going to introduce me or just leave me standing around like a lemon?”
“Right!” The Doctor instantly stepped aside. “This is Donna Noble, my companion. Donna this is…” he then looked towards Jack for help.
“My team,” said Jack quickly. “John Hart, the Joneses, Ianto and Nick -”
“Hold on!” said the Doctor. “Which one is Ianto and which is Nick?”
That question proved to be a serious mistake, as the two men in question looked at each other, smirked and then turned back to him. “Me.”
John snorted. “Ianto’s the brunette, Nick’s the redhead and the other groom-to-be.” He dropped his voice. “And Ianto is also Jack’s partner.”
“Ah.” The Doctor nodded. “That might explain the murderous glare he gave me when I stepped out.” He looked at Ianto. “Would it make it better if I said I was sorry for how I treated your partner?”
“Maybe a little,” said Ianto coolly. “But if you ever hurt him like that again, I swear, I will regenerate you.”
The Doctor swallowed and nodded. “Duly noted.”
“It had better be.”
Jack, evidently sensing that the situation might be about to get dangerous, quickly continued with his introductions. “The trio who had guns pointed at you are Emily Potter, Matt Davies and his partner, Garrett Evans.” The three nodded, although Garrett still looked mistrustful. “And the three blondes there are former Andrew Davidson, Andrea, or Andie, Carlowe, and Declan Hamilton…who is quite probably the most hyperactive New Zealander on this planet.”
“And I’m very proud of it!” retorted Declan as he scurried forwards to shake the Doctor’s hand. “A pleasure!”
“Likewise,” said the Doctor, although he looked slightly unsettled.
“So,” said Nick. “Why do you travel around in a police box?”
“Because he likes to make a point, of course,” said Donna. “Don’t you, Spaceboy?”
“Of course I do,” said the Doctor. “And before we continue, it’s not a police box, it’s a TARDIS. Stands for -”
“Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” interrupted Ianto.
The Doctor gaped. “How did you know that?!”
“Ianto knows everything,” said Nick simply. “And I’ve also just noticed that someone’s carved it into the wood at the bottom.” He knelt down and pointed out some very faintly traced shapes. “But, if you ask me, it still looks like a police telephone box. Still, I guess it means you’re never out of signal range.”
Donna’s mouth opened slightly. “Oh, I like you two!”
“Yes, well, sadly, their partners seem to like them too,” said the Doctor. “Anyway, the point I try to make is that...not everything is exactly as it seems. Take a look in the TARDIS for instance.”
Declan, who had clearly been desperate to have a look inside the police box ever since it had landed, grinned and bounded inside. There was a brief silence before he yelled out a now familiar exclamation.
“No. Way!”
Donna chuckled. “I seem to recall that was my first thought when I saw inside that thing.”
Declan bounded out again and raced around the TARDIS, his eyes wide with amazement. “But...” he stammered. “But...”
“Yes?” said the Doctor mildly. John started laughing; the young New Zealander looked like a gaping fish.
“But...but...it's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”
“Indeed it is! You win the prize!” The Doctor fished a chocolate bar out of his pocket and tossed it to Declan, who caught it one-handed. “Oh, well taken, very well taken!”
Jack blinked. “Chocolate?”
“Oh, yes, it's a new thing I'm trying out - when we go anywhere new, the first person to notice that the TARDIS is bigger on the inside gets a chocolate bar. Brilliant with children.” The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at him. “Don't pout, Jack; you probably eat enough chocolate as it is.”
Jack didn't miss a beat. “I don't count licking chocolate-flavoured body paint off Ianto as eating chocolate, actually, Doctor.”
“Jack!” Ianto hissed, blushing violently. “I don't think anyone in this room needs to hear this!”
“Ooh, no, tell me more!” Donna was grinning at Jack.
“Right, well, time to go!” the Doctor said suddenly. “Come on - everyone who's going with us, into the TARDIS!”
“That would be me, Jack, Matt and Garrett,” said John and then leaned over to whisper in the Doctor's ear. “We're hoping to get Garrett to lighten up - the man has a redwood the size of General Sherman up his arse - and we figured a night sampling the delights of the Vegas Galaxies would work wonders.”
“And I think you would be right.” The Doctor grinned broadly. “Right-o, boys! Vegas Galaxies, here we come!”
“Oh yes!” John leapt into the air and clicked his heels before scuttling into the TARDIS. “See you!”
“John!” yelled Nick. “Make sure you don't get my sister's cowboy boots dirty, because she will skin you alive if you do, immortal or not!”
Silence followed as everyone turned around and looked at John with expressions ranging from amusement to incredulity. But he just nodded and smiled at Nick. “Consider me warned.” Then, he blew a kiss, chuckling as his partner caught it and disappeared inside the TARDIS, closing the door behind him, giving the others a grin and a thumbs-up sign.
Jack clapped his hands. “Okay, Doc!” he said. “Let's go!”
“Vegas Galaxies, here we come!” The Doctor pulled on a lever and grinned at the others. “Allons-y!”
**
Next Time: The group arrive at the Vegas Galaxies, but find that things are not quite what they expected. And will the others manage to get Garrett to lighten up?
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick,
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Nick Jones, and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: The Doctor shows up for John's stag do...where will he take them?
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.html
Chapter 5
9th June 2013...
“How about this one then, Jack?” asked John as he tried on what felt like the five millionth outfit - this one consisting of a pair of black trousers, a purple and white tunic with a frilled bottom and embroidery and white high-heeled boots. He twirled round in front of the mirror and grinned at his friend.
Jack blinked. “You are kidding me, right?” he half-squeaked. “I mean, that's a nice outfit, but...” but John cut him off when he burst out laughing.
“Of course I'm joking! Catrin brought these over earlier and dared me to wear them in front of you just so I could freak you out - and judging by the look of your face, I succeeded!”
“You did not freak me out!” protested Jack.
“Sure I didn't.” John laughed and wriggled out of the tunic. “Jack, your eyes look as if they're about to burst out of your head - and no, I don't want to know if that's ever happened to you!”
Jack's mouth twitched slightly. “Hey, you can at least wait for me to get out of the room before you start getting your trousers off!” he spluttered.
John snorted. “What? There was a time when you loved watching me get my trousers off. And may I just say,” he added, running his gaze up and down the skin-tight black trousers and matching army coat that Jack was wearing, “that you look good enough to eat in that outfit.” He was even more pleased to note that his friend had also decided not to wear a shirt and so he was showing off his perfectly toned chest, dark with his seemingly ever present suntan.
Jack nodded. “I was trying for the sexy Captain look,” he explained and revealed his old air force cap from behind his back which he then placed on his head at a rakish angle before hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers. “Like it, soldier?”
“Very nice,” said John with a grin. “But what about me?”
“Hmm.” Jack started rifling through John and Nick's large wardrobe, tutting disapprovingly as he did so. “Shit, John, hasn't Nick managed to teach you how to hang your clothes up?!”
“Nope,” said John cheerfully. It was true; his half of the wardrobe looked as if a bomb had hit it, creating a massive avalanche of socks, tops and belts, whereas Nick's clothes, while still not strictly categorised and sorted according to type the way John suspected Ianto's would be, had at least been folded neatly and put away on the shelves, or, in the case of his suits, hung up (although the basket of dirty washing was almost overflowing onto the floor by this point). “But, you know, feel free to make even more of a mess!” Just make sure you don’t mess up Nick’s clothes, otherwise he will have your hide, he thought with a barely suppressed chuckle.
“No need!” Jack yelled triumphantly. “Try this for size!” He pulled out a dark blue T-shirt and a pair of very tight black leather trousers with a silver studs and fringing on the side with a matching waistcoat and black cowboy hat with a rather ostentatious golden red feather in it. “Remember this?”
John's jaw dropped open. “Where on earth did you find that?” he half-shouted, grabbing the hat. “I thought I threw that out years ago!”
“It was in that black bag you loved carrying around so much,” said Jack. “You know, the one with the gold phoenix on the front. If I recall correctly, that got you into quite a bit of trouble with the Agency, because they thought you'd give yourself away too easily if we were ever on a covert mission!”
“Please,” snorted John. “As if I'd have been stupid enough to do something like that - although, to be fair, it wasn’t as if the Agency was exactly unknown back then.” He tried the hat on and preened in front of the mirror, not caring that he was now only wearing his boxer shorts and his sister-in-law's calf length white cowboy boots. “Besides, I seem to recall you rather liked your one with the dog on it - didn't you keep using it as a pillow?”
“Hey, that leather was very soft!” Jack protested as he unearthed the phoenix bag and tossed it onto the bed. “I was quite upset when it finally gave up the ghost, though.”
“I remember.” John pulled the T-shirt on and grinned at the familiar silver wings on the front. “Looking good,” he whispered to himself as he fastened the trousers on. “Looking really good.”
Jack wolf-whistled. “Damn,” he whispered. “If you weren't getting married and I didn't have Ianto...”
“But I am, and you do,” said John. “Although, if you and Eye Candy ever fancy another one of those orgies...”
“Then you two will be the first to know.”
“Very good to know.” John slipped the waistcoat on over his T-shirt and donned his hat, tilting it at a similar angle to Jack's. He drew his hands up his thighs and made a motion with his fingers that seemed to suggest he was twirling a pair of pistols. “You feelin' lucky, punk?”
“Extremely,” Jack answered with a rakish grin. “Now, let's get to the Hub, the Doctor will be here soon!”
~*~
Nick’s mouth was hanging open when the two former Time Agents entered the Hub. “Damn!” he gasped. “You two look good enough to eat!” His brown eyes lingered firstly on the way that John’s tight trousers clung to him - and seemed to John to cling even tighter when Nick looked at him - and then drifted towards Jack’s chest, at which point the other man instantly started preening with an almost indecent smile on his face.
Ianto came over and slapped his cousin playfully on the arm. “Oi,” he said. “Check out your own boyfriend!” But he was laughing and it was plain that he wasn’t really annoyed.
“That’s fiancé, actually,” said Nick, waving his hand around and showing off the ring on his finger. The colours in the metal danced and sparkled in the new lights that had recently been fitted in the Hub.
Jack grinned. “You two aren't looking too bad yourselves.” Indeed, the two Jones men were, in every sense of the word, dressed to kill. Ianto was wearing dark blue jeans that were so tight they looked as if they'd been painted onto his legs, a black studded belt and an emerald green T-shirt with a short blue jacket over the top.
On his other side, Nick was dressed in black skinny jeans, tucked into black calf-length leather boots and a figure-hugging dark red shirt with an elaborate gold dragon embroidered on one side with little red stones for eyes and coloured stones periodically added as if to signify scales. He had also tossed his new black leather jacket - or, as John called it, his ‘S&M jacket’ - tossed over his shoulder as he leaned casually against the wall, one hand on his hip and a soft pout on his lips.
Ianto rolled his eyes at him from his place on the sofa. “Poser,” he said.
John grinned. “Oh, but he does it so well.” He strolled over to Nick, drew him in by the waist with one hand and cupped his face with the other and then he kissed him. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself,” answered Nick. “Gorgeous.”
John chuckled. “Are you wearing raspberry lip gloss?” he asked, licking his lips.
“You like that?” Nick wound his arms around John’s waist and proceeded to kiss and nibble at the skin on his neck. “Oh, yes, of course you like that, don’t you? Raspberry’s like an aphrodisiac to you, isn’t it?” His hands found their way underneath John’s T-shirt and started rubbing circles over his abdomen.
“Dammit, Nick!” John gasped as he finally managed to pull away. “You are not making this ‘no sex before the wedding night’ pact any easier!”
“Of course not,” said Nick simply. “Where would be the fun in that?”
Ianto nodded. “I heartily agree,” he said with a grin towards Jack, whose eyes had been practically bugging out of his head as he’d watched Nick mauling his partner.
John sighed. “Right, well…where are Matt and Garrett?”
“In the showers with Andie and Emily,” said Nick. “No, not like that, you dirty-minded buggers!” he added as Jack’s eyes bugged out even more and John looked all set to rush straight down there. “The girls are trying to get them dressed for tonight in something different to what they usually wear. But apparently, they’re a little bit…reluctant - or, rather, Garrett’s a little bit reluctant.”
Right on cue, Garrett came back upstairs, looking very pink about the gills and wearing tight black trousers and a half-open shirt that would have looked like something out of Pride and Prejudice, were it not for the fact that it was made of shimmery dark green fabric. He turned around and glared at Emily, who had followed him. “No way!” he said. “I look ridiculous!”
“No, you don’t!” protested Emily. “You look great!”
“Great?!” Garrett stared at her. “I look like…I look like…”
“A young and black-haired Michael Flatley?” suggested Nick, helpfully.
“Yes!” Garrett nodded and then blinked. “Hey!”
“Who’s Michael Flatley?” asked John.
“He was the male lead in Riverdance for years,” explained Jack. “Great dancer, but really full of himself. But he was all mouth and no trousers - at least in my experience, he was.”
“Oh, was he the guy who said that Riverdance wouldn’t continue on without him or something?” asked John. Jack nodded. “Well, that turned out to be rubbish, didn’t it?”
Garrett, who moments before had been staring at Jack incredulously, blinked. “That’s not even the point!” he said. “Emily, if anyone should be looking like Michael Flatley, surely it should be Matt - he’s actually Irish!”
“But it is your shirt,” protested Emily. “Isn’t it? I mean, it was in your locker.”
“Yes, it is, but it wasn’t meant to be worn like this!” He turned on his heel and stormed off back down to the showers, his black hair flying behind him.
A moment later, Matt came up, looking surprised but pleased. “I have to say, I wasn’t really sure about this at first, but this actually looks pretty good.” He was wearing black trousers like Garrett, but his were paired with a dark blue shirt and loosely fastened black tie with a black trilby placed on his head at a similar angle to Jack’s own hat.
“You look like a jazz star,” said Jack, grinning. “It suits you.”
“Yeah, it does rather.” Matt smoothed down his shirt. “Where’s Garry?”
“Ran back downstairs so he could sort his shirt out to look the way he says it should look,” chuckled Nick.
“God, that shirt,” said Matt, laughing. “Quite what possessed him to buy it, I don’t know, but he seems to like it. Personally, I think it looks like something Michael Flatley would wear.”
“Funny that,” said Emily. “Nick just said the same thing.”
Nick shrugged. “You never know, though. Garrett might just prove us wrong and make it look good.”
At that moment and, John thought, as if he was trying to prove that very point, Garrett returned to the main floor, this time with a grin on his face. He was still wearing the green shirt, but he’d unfastened all the buttons and added a black vest underneath with a matching dog collar around his neck.
“Now, this is how a shirt like this should be worn,” he said.
“I have to agree,” said Nick. Matt couldn’t speak; his jaw was hanging open as he started at his partner.
“One of you four had better have packed a camera, because I am going to want pictures of whatever it is you get up to!” Ianto warned.
“Same here,” said John. “Now, Jack, where is that bloody Time Lord?”
“He should be -” but Jack was cut off by a loud whirring sound that filled the Hub and instantly caused Emily, Matt and Garrett to whip out their guns and also brought the rest of the team from wherever they had been. A moment later, to the collective surprise of most of the onlookers - apart from Jack and John, who were grinning and rubbing their hands together, and Ianto who was watching with curiosity - a large blue shape slowly materialised in the middle of the floor. A shape that looked very much like…
“It’s a police telephone box,” said Nick, and John was forced to agree. The object that had just appeared in front of them did indeed look very much like an old-fashioned telephone booth. But then, the door opened and a man with messy brown hair and twinkling dark eyes, and wearing a pinstriped suit, stepped out. He clapped his hands and glanced around, apparently taking everything in before his eyes finally fixed on the group watching him with a mixture of amusement, confusion and outright suspicion.
“Oh, hello!” he said, a broad smile suddenly appearing on his face as he did a very theatrical jump in the air. “You must be Jack’s team! And where is the man himself, if I may ask?”
“I’m right here,” said Jack.
“Oh, yes, of course you are!” The man’s grin broadened and he slapped Jack hard on the back. “Er, why are those three training guns on me?”
“Maybe because, as far as they’re concerned, a strange man has just appeared travelling in what appears to be a police box,” said John rather dryly.
“Right, yes, of course! Sorry about that!” He clapped his hands and grinned even more broadly. “I’m the Doctor. And this,” he patted the police box, “is the TARDIS.”
“Oi!” A woman with long red hair and a rather annoyed look on her face stepped outside. “And what about me, Spaceboy, hmm? Going to introduce me or just leave me standing around like a lemon?”
“Right!” The Doctor instantly stepped aside. “This is Donna Noble, my companion. Donna this is…” he then looked towards Jack for help.
“My team,” said Jack quickly. “John Hart, the Joneses, Ianto and Nick -”
“Hold on!” said the Doctor. “Which one is Ianto and which is Nick?”
That question proved to be a serious mistake, as the two men in question looked at each other, smirked and then turned back to him. “Me.”
John snorted. “Ianto’s the brunette, Nick’s the redhead and the other groom-to-be.” He dropped his voice. “And Ianto is also Jack’s partner.”
“Ah.” The Doctor nodded. “That might explain the murderous glare he gave me when I stepped out.” He looked at Ianto. “Would it make it better if I said I was sorry for how I treated your partner?”
“Maybe a little,” said Ianto coolly. “But if you ever hurt him like that again, I swear, I will regenerate you.”
The Doctor swallowed and nodded. “Duly noted.”
“It had better be.”
Jack, evidently sensing that the situation might be about to get dangerous, quickly continued with his introductions. “The trio who had guns pointed at you are Emily Potter, Matt Davies and his partner, Garrett Evans.” The three nodded, although Garrett still looked mistrustful. “And the three blondes there are former Andrew Davidson, Andrea, or Andie, Carlowe, and Declan Hamilton…who is quite probably the most hyperactive New Zealander on this planet.”
“And I’m very proud of it!” retorted Declan as he scurried forwards to shake the Doctor’s hand. “A pleasure!”
“Likewise,” said the Doctor, although he looked slightly unsettled.
“So,” said Nick. “Why do you travel around in a police box?”
“Because he likes to make a point, of course,” said Donna. “Don’t you, Spaceboy?”
“Of course I do,” said the Doctor. “And before we continue, it’s not a police box, it’s a TARDIS. Stands for -”
“Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” interrupted Ianto.
The Doctor gaped. “How did you know that?!”
“Ianto knows everything,” said Nick simply. “And I’ve also just noticed that someone’s carved it into the wood at the bottom.” He knelt down and pointed out some very faintly traced shapes. “But, if you ask me, it still looks like a police telephone box. Still, I guess it means you’re never out of signal range.”
Donna’s mouth opened slightly. “Oh, I like you two!”
“Yes, well, sadly, their partners seem to like them too,” said the Doctor. “Anyway, the point I try to make is that...not everything is exactly as it seems. Take a look in the TARDIS for instance.”
Declan, who had clearly been desperate to have a look inside the police box ever since it had landed, grinned and bounded inside. There was a brief silence before he yelled out a now familiar exclamation.
“No. Way!”
Donna chuckled. “I seem to recall that was my first thought when I saw inside that thing.”
Declan bounded out again and raced around the TARDIS, his eyes wide with amazement. “But...” he stammered. “But...”
“Yes?” said the Doctor mildly. John started laughing; the young New Zealander looked like a gaping fish.
“But...but...it's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”
“Indeed it is! You win the prize!” The Doctor fished a chocolate bar out of his pocket and tossed it to Declan, who caught it one-handed. “Oh, well taken, very well taken!”
Jack blinked. “Chocolate?”
“Oh, yes, it's a new thing I'm trying out - when we go anywhere new, the first person to notice that the TARDIS is bigger on the inside gets a chocolate bar. Brilliant with children.” The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at him. “Don't pout, Jack; you probably eat enough chocolate as it is.”
Jack didn't miss a beat. “I don't count licking chocolate-flavoured body paint off Ianto as eating chocolate, actually, Doctor.”
“Jack!” Ianto hissed, blushing violently. “I don't think anyone in this room needs to hear this!”
“Ooh, no, tell me more!” Donna was grinning at Jack.
“Right, well, time to go!” the Doctor said suddenly. “Come on - everyone who's going with us, into the TARDIS!”
“That would be me, Jack, Matt and Garrett,” said John and then leaned over to whisper in the Doctor's ear. “We're hoping to get Garrett to lighten up - the man has a redwood the size of General Sherman up his arse - and we figured a night sampling the delights of the Vegas Galaxies would work wonders.”
“And I think you would be right.” The Doctor grinned broadly. “Right-o, boys! Vegas Galaxies, here we come!”
“Oh yes!” John leapt into the air and clicked his heels before scuttling into the TARDIS. “See you!”
“John!” yelled Nick. “Make sure you don't get my sister's cowboy boots dirty, because she will skin you alive if you do, immortal or not!”
Silence followed as everyone turned around and looked at John with expressions ranging from amusement to incredulity. But he just nodded and smiled at Nick. “Consider me warned.” Then, he blew a kiss, chuckling as his partner caught it and disappeared inside the TARDIS, closing the door behind him, giving the others a grin and a thumbs-up sign.
Jack clapped his hands. “Okay, Doc!” he said. “Let's go!”
“Vegas Galaxies, here we come!” The Doctor pulled on a lever and grinned at the others. “Allons-y!”
**
Next Time: The group arrive at the Vegas Galaxies, but find that things are not quite what they expected. And will the others manage to get Garrett to lighten up?