My truthsome_fic fic... Hmmm... Think of a better title...

[andsheloves]

So, here it is. This is my first ever fanfic, so please be kind and comment. Thanks

Comments

[wiccan_5]

That was awesome! I loved the storyline so much, and you've got the characters and everything as close to perfect as anything!

There's just one thing that I found wasn't quite right - you used a mixture of past and present tenses. Keep an eye on that a bit (and stick with one tense unless there's flashbacks or something) and you'll do even better than you already have!!! =)

Keep writing! I'm definitely interested in reading more from you!!! =D

[andsheloves]

I know!!! I keep on screwing up the tenses. I thought I fixed it all up, but then I reread it yesterday and realised that I didn't. I'm going to fix it now, cause it's just annoying me now. Thanks for reminding me!!! :)
Thanks for commenting!!! And thanks for liking it too. ;)

[wiccan_5]

No problem! I'm always happy to review a Firefly fic! Especially one as good as yours!
Actually, I think the only fics I've ever read and reviewed for are all Firefly ones! Huh... *scratches head thoughfully*
Oh yeh, anyways, if you ever want some beta help or anything, let me know. Beta reading is good! Keep writing/flying! =)
xfirefly9x

[browncoat_2x2]

I really liked the awkwardness of the moment when Inara goes to make tea but Mal is already there, cleaning his guns... and how she ends up just having to leave...can't stay...

and this was brilliant:
“What?” She interrupts him with a question.
He looks at her, confused.
“You think I don’t want to spend any time with you?”
“That’s what it seems like.” He says angrily.
“I can’t stand to be around you...”
“Well, there you go.” He says in a huff, then turns and leaves the shuttle.

Love that whole exchange, it's so perfect and misunderstood and everthing that is Mal and Inara *G*

and then at the end:
“Mal, before, when I said that I can’t stand to be around you...”
“I’m not really interested in you tellin’ me how much you hate me.” He says, looking away from her, and stepping back a little.
“I don’t hate you, Mal. Far from it.”
He looks at her again.
“It hurts. To be around you. Knowing that I can’t...” She pauses, tries to find the right words to portray her feelings. “And yet, when I’m not around you, I want to be.”such an admission

[andsheloves]

Thanks. I just love detailed comments!!! Yaiy for you!!!

I love the last line too. It wasn't there originally, but then I added it at the last minute, thoguht that she'd say something like that.

I do love Inara. And she's so fun to write.

[browncoat_2x2]

hehehe yay for me! *cheeky grin*

I love the last line too. It wasn't there originally, but then I added it at the last minute, thoguht that she'd say something like that.

Good choice! It gave you a very strong ending, good way to leave your readers...

I do love Inara. And she's so fun to write.

Ah, so do I... so do I... she is my favourite character, and she IS fun to write!! and so interesting to explore...

yay for Inara! *G*

[andsheloves]

Yaiy indeed. Yaiy for everyone!!! Teeheehee. Dman, I need more Mal & Inara icons... Good ones... I fairly sure this is my only one. All the rest are Morena & Nathan, and that really doesn't count...

Yaiy!!!

[brynnmck]

Awww. Poor Mal, poor Inara. And hee! I adore the last lines. Mal would so ruin it, and she would so tell him not to. Nice work!

[andsheloves]

Thanks. I really appreciate you comment!!! It was really fun writing it, so I'm glad that people like it. THANKS!!!