My truthsome_fic fic... Hmmm... Think of a better title...

May 16, 2006 14:56

So, here it is. This is my first ever fanfic, so please be kind and comment. Thanks ( Read more... )

movie: serenity, writing, tv: firefly, tv/movie: serenifly

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browncoat_2x2 May 19 2006, 14:19:02 UTC
I really liked the awkwardness of the moment when Inara goes to make tea but Mal is already there, cleaning his guns... and how she ends up just having to leave...can't stay...

and this was brilliant:
“What?” She interrupts him with a question.
He looks at her, confused.
“You think I don’t want to spend any time with you?”
“That’s what it seems like.” He says angrily.
“I can’t stand to be around you...”
“Well, there you go.” He says in a huff, then turns and leaves the shuttle.

Love that whole exchange, it's so perfect and misunderstood and everthing that is Mal and Inara *G*

and then at the end:
“Mal, before, when I said that I can’t stand to be around you...”
“I’m not really interested in you tellin’ me how much you hate me.” He says, looking away from her, and stepping back a little.
“I don’t hate you, Mal. Far from it.”
He looks at her again.
“It hurts. To be around you. Knowing that I can’t...” She pauses, tries to find the right words to portray her feelings. “And yet, when I’m not around you, I want to be.”

such an admission for Inara, so mixed up and painful... *hummm*

and then the ending line... heeee! You have to love Inara *G*

Very nice first fic!

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andsheloves May 19 2006, 18:00:59 UTC
Thanks. I just love detailed comments!!! Yaiy for you!!!

I love the last line too. It wasn't there originally, but then I added it at the last minute, thoguht that she'd say something like that.

I do love Inara. And she's so fun to write.

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browncoat_2x2 May 19 2006, 18:04:44 UTC
hehehe yay for me! *cheeky grin*

I love the last line too. It wasn't there originally, but then I added it at the last minute, thoguht that she'd say something like that.

Good choice! It gave you a very strong ending, good way to leave your readers...

I do love Inara. And she's so fun to write.

Ah, so do I... so do I... she is my favourite character, and she IS fun to write!! and so interesting to explore...

yay for Inara! *G*

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andsheloves May 19 2006, 18:09:07 UTC
Yaiy indeed. Yaiy for everyone!!! Teeheehee. Dman, I need more Mal & Inara icons... Good ones... I fairly sure this is my only one. All the rest are Morena & Nathan, and that really doesn't count...

Yaiy!!!

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browncoat_2x2 May 19 2006, 18:14:37 UTC
hmmm I only have a couple that feature both Mal and Inara... and they're not really, well, happy, more angsty...

I need to make more happy icons...

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andsheloves May 19 2006, 21:31:00 UTC
Yeah, you do. Those are very angsty ones. Hmmm... But still very Mal/Inara.

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