Imperative (Ever After Fic) - Part III
Imperative - Part III
“Are your chores done?” Jensen asked, pleased by the way Jared’s gaze lingered he saw how Jensen was dressed.
“Yeah,” Jared said, seemingly shaking himself from contemplation. “Did you save me some water?”
"There’s still plenty,” Jensen said, emptying his used water into the sink. “Sit down. I’ll get it for you.”
“Thanks.” His step heavy, Jared took a seat at the table.
Returning to the hearth, Jensen refilled the basin. He brought it over and set it on the table near Jared’s elbow. “You’ll probably want to let that cool for a minute,” he said.
“That’s all right,” Jared said, rubbing his hands over his face, his legs sprawled in front of him. “I don’t mind waiting. It feels good to finally be sitting down.”
“I’ll bet,” Jensen said, running his hand over Jared’s tousled hair. “You’ve been up since dawn and working hard all day. You need to relax. Tell you what-give me your boot.”
“Why?” Jared asked, even as he lifted his leg.
“I want to help you,” Jensen said, freeing Jared’s foot from its confinement. “Seems to me you could use some looking after.”
Jared sat up, removing his leg from Jensen’s grasp. “That’s not necessary.”
“I know it’s not,” Jensen said with a smile. “But I’m doing it anyway. Now…other foot.”
“This is silly.” Frowning , Jared lifted his other leg. Jensen tugging off that boot as well.
“There now. Isn’t that better?” Jensen asked
“Thanks,” Jared said. “I appreciate it-“
“Oh, but I’m not done,” Jensen said, stepping closer. “Raise your arms.”
As before, Jared did as he was bid. Though he didn’t look happy about it. “I can do this myself, you know.”
“I know,” Jensen said, pulling Jared’s shirt up over his head. “But I don’t want you to.” What Jensen did want to do was touch. All of Jared’s gorgeous smooth skin. Jensen had seen him without his shirt before, of course. They’d been living together for more than a week in a house with precious little privacy. He knew what Jared looked like, with clothes and without. But this was different. This was in preparation for something far more intimate. Jensen intended to savor the moment.
Yet Jared seemed uncomfortable with the scrutiny. He looked up at Jensen, frowning. “Jensen, what are we doing?”
“I’m trying to make you feel good,” Jensen said, kneeling carefully between Jared’s legs, his hands braced for balance on Jared’s thighs. “I don’t know what you’re doing.”
Jared covered Jensen’s hands with his own. “That makes two of us.”
Now it was Jensen’s turn to frown. “Surely you’ve done this before, even if only with a woman.”
Jared shook his head.
“Never?” Jensen asked, his eyebrows lifting.
His answer was another shake of Jared’s head.
Jensen sat back on his heels. “How is that possible?”
Jared smiled, small and rather shy. “As you’re so fond of reminding me-I live by myself in the woods.”
“Huh,” Jensen said, unable to be more articulate. Of all the things he’d thought he might learn about Jared that night, this particular revelation wasn’t one of them.
When Jensen said nothing further, Jared’s smile turned bittersweet. He looked away, and chuckled softly. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”
That roused Jensen from his reverie. “You’re wrong.” Reaching up, he turned Jared’s face towards his. “I want you very much,” he said, then kissed Jared, slow and sweet, his hand cradling Jared’s cheek.
“I’m glad,” Jared whispered when their kiss was finished. He kept his eyes closed, as before, and spoke from so closely by, Jensen could feel Jared’s breath wash over his face. “I want this with you.” He opened his eyes and looked at Jensen, every need, ever desire so plain, it made Jensen’s heart ache. “Even if it’s only for tonight. Even if you leave tomorrow and I never see you again, I want to know what it’s like to be with you.”
There was something so honest about the way Jared spoke, so raw and so brave, that part of Jensen wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him near, not as Jared’s lover, but as his protector.
You can’t open yourself up like that, Jared. There are those out there who will take advantage of you if you give them that kind of opportunity. You need to be tougher than that if you’re going to go out into the world.
And in that moment, Jensen decided he would never be one of those people. He’d never let Jared feel used or exposed.
So he did what he’d thought to do before. He wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck and wound his fingers through his hair. Tucking his forehead up under Jared’s chin, Jensen all but burrowed against him. He wasn’t even sure who was taking comfort from whom anymore. “Jared.”
Jared folded around him, enveloping Jensen in his embrace, all his beautiful warm skin pressed close against Jensen’s own.
“How do we do this?” Jared asked softly, inches from Jensen’s ear. “I want to please you, but I’m not really sure how.”
Jensen pulled back to look at him, and smiled. “It’s not that difficult. I’ll show you.”
With Jared’s help, Jensen got to his feet. Yet when Jared began to also stand, Jensen stopped him. “Not so fast. Your water should be cool enough by now.”
“You don’t have to-“
Giving Jared a look designed to keep him in his seat, Jensen picked up a clean bit of toweling, and dipped it into the basin.
“What are you doing?” Jared asked, sitting slouched in his chair.
Jensen came to stand between his legs, the soap and damp toweling in his hands. “A variation on what you did for me. Close your eyes.”
Soaping up the cloth, he began running it over Jared’s face, swabbing his high forehead and cheeks, tracing the slope of his nose and sharp angle of his jaw. Once Jensen felt confident the soap had done its duty, he dipped the cloth again in water, wringing it free of suds before rinsing away the lather, leaving Jared’s skin fragrant and clean.
Jensen repeated the exercise on Jared’s neck and shoulders, down his arms and hands, across his chest and sweeping south to stroke low across his belly.
Jared squirmed in his chair at that touch, his cheeks flushed, and chuckled. “That tickles.”
Jensen smiled. “The man is ticklish. I’ll remember that.” He tossed the toweling into the basin and rubbed his hands on his pant legs to dry them. “Come here.” He extended his hand.
Jared took it and pushed to his feet. The minute he was standing, Jensen got started opening his flies.
“I want to see you,” Jensen muttered, eyes on his work. “I want to see all of you and touch every inch.”
Jared’s breath caught for just a second, then released. Slicking his lips with his tongue before he spoke, he murmured, “Hurry.”
Hurry is exactly what Jensen did, fumbling with stubborn buttons and ties until finally he was able to push his hands inside Jared’s clothing to find him, hard and warm and waiting. When Jensen closed his fingers around Jared’s length, his thumb stroking softly up and down, Jared tipped up his chin, his eyes slamming shut. “Oh… Oh, God,” he moaned, grabbing hold of Jensen’s arms. “My God.”
“Has anyone ever touched you like this before?” Jensen asked, pressing a line of clinging kisses down the side of Jared’s neck. “Has anyone before me ever made you hard?”
Bringing his head level, Jared nuzzled at Jensen’s temple, his hands sliding up to card through Jensen’s hair. “No one. Only you.”
Jared’s confession shouldn’t have made Jensen’s heart quicken, or the desire pooling low in his center throb and churn. But it did. “I’m going to make you feel so good,” Jensen whispered, before tracing the shape of Jared’s ear with the tip of his nose. “I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.”
Jared made a hushed, wordless sound and, sprinkling almost frantic kisses across Jensen’s face, pushed his hips forward as if to ask for more of Jensen’s attention. Jensen gladly gave it to him, pushing Jared’s pants and underwear down and away, until they pooled around Jared’s ankles, and he stepped out of them.
“Let me look at you,” Jensen said, hands on Jared’s hips, keeping him close, even as Jensen took a step away. “I want to see.” With seeming reluctance, Jared obliged him.
Jensen let his gaze glide from Jared’s flushed cheeks and heated eyes, down past his broad shoulders and chest, to the trail of feathery dark hair leading to his cock. It jutted from between his legs, full and long and rosy with blood. “Beautiful. So beautiful,” Jensen said, reaching out to skim his fingertips along it, then cradle Jared’s balls in his hand, closing around them just enough to make Jared gasp and whine. “And you don’t even know it.”
“I know you make me crazy,” Jared muttered, capturing Jensen’s face between his hands and pulling him forward into an almost desperate kiss, his technique all demanding lips and thrusting tongue. Jensen went with it, pressing Jared close, loving the feel of his shaft trapped between them, hard and leaking.
“Take these off,” Jared murmured against his lips. “Want to see you too.” He tugged and plucked at the waist of Jensen’s pants as if uncertain of the best means of removing them. Jensen shooed his hands away and took care of that for him, opening his flies and shoving his clothing to the floor. As soon as he was naked, Jared pulled him close, his arms circling around Jensen and hauling him in. But with their clothes littering the floor, making footing uncertain, their balance was off. In his enthusiasm, Jared’s hip collided with Jensen’s injury, landing squarely on the still healing incision. Much as he wanted to hold back his cry, Jensen couldn’t help but let it escape. The moment he did, Jared’s arms fell away. “Oh, God. Jensen…I’m so sorry! Are you all right?”
“It’s fine,” Jensen said, reaching for him. “No harm done.”
“Are you sure?” Jared evaded his grasp, his brow wrinkled with concern. “God. I’m such an idiot.”
“Yes, I am, and no, you’re not,” Jensen said, equal parts amused and annoyed. “Relax. I’m well, I promise.”
For a moment, Jared looked like he was going to argue the point. But in the end, he took a slow, deep breath and nodded. “All right. If you say so.”
“What I say is we need to slow things down a bit. It’s been a long day. I don’t know that either of us is up for anything overly athletic,” Jensen said, stepping closer and taking hold of Jared’s hand. He glanced over at the bed. “Come here.”
Jared looked at their linked hands, then followed Jensen silently to the bed.
“Sit down,” Jensen said, giving him a little push. Jared fell lightly onto the mattress. Jensen climbed in alongside him. “Scoot over into the middle there.”
Again, Jared did as he was told, positioning himself so he was flat on his back in the center of the mattress. The moment he was settled, Jensen straddled him so that he was facing Jared and sitting high on Jared’s thighs. Their cocks lay only a hair’s breadth apart.
“Very nice,” Jensen said, taking in the view.
Jared was spread out before him like a banquet. Jensen almost didn’t know where to start. He reached out his hand and dragged it slowly over Jared’s smooth, golden skin, learning its texture. The minute his touch wandered below Jared’s belly button, Jared sucked in a quick, sharp breath as if shrinking from the sensation. His hands grabbed hold of Jensen’s arms. “Jensen-“
“Yes, I know,” Jensen said, peeling Jared’s fingers away, gently but surely. “You’re ticklish. But that’s too bad, because I want to touch and I’m on top. So keep your hands to yourself, and take it like a man. In fact…” He grabbed hold of Jared’s wrists and, stretching out, rearranged Jared’s arms so they were bent upwards, framing his head. “Perfect. Now stay there.”
Jared chewed on his lower lip for a moment, his eyes wide and dark. But he didn’t protest and he didn’t move.
“Do you mind when I’m bossy?” Jensen asked, taking hold of Jared’s cock and giving it a friendly couple of strokes. In spite of the earlier interruption, Jared’s interest hadn’t flagged.
Jared shivered, his eyes sliding shut for a moment, then open again. “N-not really.”
“Are you telling me you like being told what to do?” Jensen said, teasing.
Jared thought about it for a moment, looking up Jensen through his lashes. “I don’t mind it so much when it’s you.”
Jensen smiled and leaned in close. “Well in that case, here’s a very important instruction-no matter how I touch you, no matter what we do together, don’t come until I tell you to. Do you think you can do that for me, Jared?”
“Yeah,” Jared said, his voice rough-edged and worn. “I think I can.”
“Good boy.” With that, Jensen bent down and kissed low on Jared’s belly, right where he knew Jared was most ticklish.
“Oh!” Jared twisted and writhed, his back arching. But otherwise, he didn’t move.
So Jensen did it again, and again, and then some more, testing Jared’s will, as well as his tolerance.
“Oh, God. What are you…Christ.”
Jared held up well under the assault. He gasped and groaned and called Jensen’s name. But he never pushed Jensen away and he never rolled out from under him, both of which Jensen knew Jared was more than strong enough to do.
Content with Jared’s reaction, Jensen edged back off his perch, kneeling now between Jared’s spread legs. Jared’s entire body was flushed, his chest heaving. His hair was tangled across his brow from where his head had rolled restlessly on the pillow, and his muscles were corded with tension.
“Poor baby,” Jensen crooned, smiling. His hands rubbing soothingly along Jared’s now trembling legs. “Have I been mean to you?”
“You’re horrible,” Jared said breathlessly. “A terrible person. I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Guess I’m going to have to make it up to you,” Jensen murmured.
Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to the base of Jared’s cock.
Jared all but convulsed beneath him. “Oh…oh...”
“Don’t move. Not even that little bit,” Jensen said, his hand on Jared’s belly to help hold him in place. “And don’t you dare come. Not yet.”
Jared nodded frantically. Sweat was beginning to shimmer on his skin.
“If you could see yourself,” Jensen whispered, bending down to kiss the inside of Jared’s thigh. “If you could see what you look like when you want someone…”
“I want you,” Jared said, his voice shredded with need. “God…want you so much.”
“Don’t worry,” Jensen said, lifting Jared’s swollen shaft to his lips. “You’ve got me.” He licked delicately at the length’s glistening tip, swirling his tongue in the pearly liquid beading there. Jared made a sound like he was dying. “Shh,” Jensen said, repeating the caress. “Easy. I’ll take care of you.”
Good as his word, he closed his lips around Jared’s length and plunged downward, his hand twisting upwards from the base to meet midway. He took Jared in as deeply as he could, then dragged his mouth back up again, establishing a steady rhythm.
As Jensen worked, Jared shivered beneath him as if he’d taken a chill, his muscles all but jumping beneath his skin. Yet he didn’t thrust or even try to rock with Jensen’s motion. Instead he stayed perfect still, his hectic eyes locked on Jensen, panting like he was running uphill.
“Amazing,” Jensen said after a time, after letting Jared’s cock at long last slide free from between his lips. It was huge in his grasp, and flushed a deep, dusky pink. He could feel Jared’s pulse pounding there, thudding dull and fast against his palm. “You’re amazing. I can see how badly you want this.” He began to move his hand again, stroking long and slow, his thumb tracing the underside vein. “Yet you’re able to hold on. I’m impressed, Jared. Very impressed.”
Jensen flicked lightly with his thumb against the spongy mushroom head, just to see if Jared would lose control. He didn’t, but the noise he made didn’t sound entirely human.
“Are you ready?” Jensen asked, crawling forward to kneel alongside Jared’s waist, all the while continuing to work him with his hand, the pressure light and designed to be maddening. “Do you want me to give you permission?”
“Yes,” Jared gasped, arms yet raised as if in surrender, his fingers twitching. “Oh, yes…yes, please.”
“All right,” Jensen said, bending down to press a gentle kiss to Jared’s cheek. “Go ahead, Jared. Let go.”
Like a spark to gunpowder, Jared’s need ignited. He threw back his head and shouted his release, his body shuddering with such power, Jensen nearly lost his grip on him. He’d never seen anything like it. Jared’s body was shaking so hard his teeth were rattling, his cock jerking in Jensen’s grasp, shooting rope after rope of glossy white fluid to wet his belly and Jensen’s hand.
Yet the entire time, never once did Jared lower his arms.
“Move, Jared,” Jensen said, swinging his leg over one of Jared’s thighs and gathering up his own cock together with Jared’s, Jared’s release making everything slick and silky. “It’s all right to move.” Breath hitching at the sensation of Jared’s length rubbing against his, Jensen began moving his hand over them both, Jared’s cock still twitching and dribbling fluid.
As soon as he heard Jensen’s words, Jared groaned and brought his arms down to wrap heavy and warm around Jensen’s shoulders. The weight drove Jensen flat against Jared, so that his cheek rested high on Jared’s chest. Jensen bucked and wriggled against him, his wound beginning to ache, but he wasn’t about to stop.
Help came when Jared reached down to cup Jensen’s ass in his massive hands, lending his strength when Jensen’s began to flag. All it took was a few more strokes of Jensen’s fist.
“Oh, Jesus.”
And Jensen came all over Jared’s belly and chest.
The two of them lay there for a long while afterwards, calming their runaway hearts and catching their breath. Jared combed softly through Jensen’s hair. At last, he murmured, “Not bad for a first time.”
Jensen pressed up on shaky arms to see Jared’s expression. Smug was the best word for it.
Jensen looked around at the disaster they’d made of the bed and themselves. “I don’t know about you, but I need a bath.”
Jared smiled, his eyes shining in the firelight. “Seeing as it was a bath that got things started, I feel I need to warn you-I don’t believe I’m quite ready to go another round.”
Jensen laughed, which set off Jared. Together they lay there, side by side, giggling as if there were no secrets between them, as if Jensen didn’t have a life he needed to return to and Jared had no reason he couldn’t go with him. They laughed, giddy with exhaustion and with each other, until dreamland finally claimed them and they slept the night in their messy bed, content in each other’s arms.
Round two didn’t come till sunrise. Jensen’s wash-up didn’t come till after round three.
*
Jensen should have known it wouldn’t be sex that caused a problem between them.
It would be the talking afterwards.
After a lazy morning, where they touched often, but said little, Jared and he sat down to share the midday meal.
“Do you have any idea how long it’ll take you to pack?” Jensen asked, nibbling on a piece of cheese.
Jared set down his cup and looked at him, frowning. “Pack what?”
“What you want to bring with you to Westerly,” Jensen said. When Jared didn’t speak, he continued. “I was thinking what we might want to do is pull together everything essential-clothing, your books, any personal items-and take them with us now in the wagon. Then, once we’re settled, we can come back with some help to close up the cottage and retrieve the rest of your belongings.”
Jared looked away. “Jensen…,“ he began, his voice small.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen said, realizing suddenly he might have given offense. “The cottage is yours, of course, and it’s your decision. It just seems to me it might be hard to manage the property from Westerly, and I wasn’t sure if you’d want to sell, at least not right away-“
“Jensen, I can’t come with you to Westerly,” Jared said in a rush, his gaze meeting Jensen’s once more, his expression pained.
“What do you mean you can’t come with me?” Jensen asked, feeling something heavy and cold take shape inside his belly.
“I mean…it’s not possible,” Jared said. “You know that. I told you.”
“But I thought…last night…” Jensen couldn’t say more. He wouldn’t. He refused to sound like some green girl who’d mistaken a simple flirtation for something more.
“Last night was wonderful,” Jared said, taking Jensen’s hand between both of his. It was all Jensen could do to keep from pushing him away. “You were wonderful. And I wish…God. But never mind. I think we both know wishing doesn’t make it so.”
Neither spoke for a time. Finally, Jensen said, “So this is it? There’s truly no way I can persuade you?”
Jared shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. But…no. Please believe me when I tell you it’s for the best.”
Jensen didn’t believe that, didn’t see how he could ever possibly be convinced. But he also didn’t know what else to do, how else to plead his case. He nodded. “Well, then. I suppose there’s no longer any reason for me to stay. I’ll leave tomorrow, first thing.”
For a moment Jared looked like he might say protest. His eyes grew bright and his expression crumpled. But in the end, all he said was, “I understand.”
The rest of the day felt strange to Jensen, unreal, as if he were trapped in an unwelcome dream. Certain things he’d gotten used to-the easy give-and-take Jared and he had shared, the way their time together had acquired a kind of rhythm and routine, the certainty that their future was endless and full of possibilities-had in a single afternoon disappeared. He felt adrift, like a boat cast out from safe harbor.
For his part, Jared made himself scarce, excusing himself to attend to his chores, then staying outside for the rest of the afternoon. With only Tabitha for company, Jensen did what he could to fill the time, cleaning up what remained of their lunch, and trying to put back in place all the things that had been moved to accommodate his presence.
When that was finished and everything looked in order, he gathered together some of the clothing Jared had let him use-mostly pieces that had belonged to Jared’s father-and packed everything in a sack he’d found hanging near the door, along with some food from the larder. He didn’t think the trip home would be too arduous, not now that he was nearly recovered from his injury, but he would still need some provisions. He knew, despite their differences, Jared wouldn’t begrudge him in that regard.
The hours passed and the sun fell. The cottage seemed almost unnaturally still, hollow, with no Jared there to fill it. Jensen had always liked the way the single room had seemed cozy and warm. But now, not even laying a new fire in the hearth could combat the chill Jensen felt being alone in a space where Jared was meant to be. He was relieved when at last Jared came home, the dogs at his heels.
“Have you eaten?” Jared asked when he’d closed the door behind him.
“Not yet,” Jensen said, standing at the table. “I was waiting for you.”
After the smallest hesitation, Jared nodded, yet Jensen saw uncertainty in his eyes. “Is this all right?” he asked.
Jensen frowned. “Is what all right?”
“This,” Jared said, gesturing rather vaguely about the room. “Me…being here.”
“Jared, you live here,” Jensen said, not sure whether to laugh or cry at Jared’s concerns.
“Yes, I know. Of course, I do. It’s just…you and me…it’s hard right now,” Jared said, taking a step towards him then stopping abruptly, as if he were unsure Jensen would welcome such advances. “Awkward. And I’m to blame. I know I am. So if it would be easier for you tonight, I’d be willing to sleep-“
“It wouldn’t,” Jensen said, no doubt in his mind, not after the afternoon he’d just endured. “Stay. Please. Keep me company tonight. It’s our last night, after all. I don’t want to be alone.”
“All right,” Jared said, the faintest trace of a smile softening his lips.
So they prepared the evening meal together, and ate it, sitting elbow to elbow at the table. When they finished , Jared uncorked a bottle of ale and poured them each a glass. Jensen offered up a toast.
“To strangers becoming friends, and friendships being remembered.”
By wordless agreement, Jared brought out his old battered chessboard and they played one last game. It seemed to Jensen almost fitting when the contest ended as most tended to do-with Jared capturing his queen. Any other outcome and he would have suspected Jared of letting him win. That would have been the final humiliation.
“It’s getting late,” Jensen said when the game was over. “I should probably turn in.”
Jared nodded. “Just let me lay out the pallet before you blow out the candles.”
“No,” Jensen said, stopping him as he turned away. “Share the bed with me.” When Jared looked surprised by the request, he explained, “We’ll sleep, just sleep. Please…do that with me.”
“All right.”
The candles snuffed, they stripped down to their underclothes and slipped beneath the covers, rolling immediately into each other’s arms.
Jensen lay with his cheek pressed to Jared’s chest and listened to the soothing beat of Jared’s heart. In so many ways, sleep would have been welcome. But Jensen couldn’t give into it just yet, not when he wanted to commit to memory this moment, and what it was like to be held so tenderly by a man Jensen could admit to himself he’d grown to love.
This was their last night together, after all. Any impressions he was able to store away had to be enough to last him a lifetime.
*
The next morning, Jared insisted he accompany Jensen as far as the northernmost edge of the Great Forest.
“I’ve never traveled that way myself. But I know from what my father had told me that the main road between Eastwind and Westerly runs along the forest’s northern border. Monty can carry both of us. Traveling that way, it should only take us a couple of hours to reach the road. From there, on foot, you’re looking at two, maybe two and a half days before you reach the kingdom.”
Jensen knew the longer their farewell was extended, the more difficult it would finally be when they parted. But he could see the logic in such an arrangement. He was feeling a great deal better than he had been feeling. But he still wasn’t in peak condition. Starting the journey, riding behind Jared, would help him conserve his energy.
“Thank you. That’ll make things easier.”
They set off even earlier than they had the morning they’d gone to market. This time, Jared brought Daisy and Clarence along.
“For the trip back,” he explained when Jensen questioned him on it. He looked away and shrugged sheepishly. “I think I might like to have the company.”
The day was overcast and the temperature was mild. It was good traveling weather. With his arms clasped around Jared’s middle and the dogs bounding ahead of them, rousting birds and chasing scents, Jensen began to come to a kind of acceptance. This was not the way he’d wanted things to end with Jared. But at least, he’d known him, even if for only a brief while. He couldn’t be sorry about that.
In seemingly no time at all, they emerged from the narrow forest lane and out onto a far wider, well-maintained road. No travelers could be seen just then, but Jensen knew he was bound to come across others on his journey.
“Here we are,” Jared said, bringing Monty to a stop, so Jensen could climb down before he also dismounted. “You’ll want to head in this direction for Westerly. The villages you’ll pass along the way will be small, but you should be able to secure lodgings for the night.
“I’m familiar with the route,” Jensen said, taking his sack from the saddlebag. “This is how the delegation traveled to Eastwind initially.”
Jared nodded, looked away, then met Jensen’s eyes once more. “So…I guess this is it.”
Jensen felt his throat go dry and his palms sweat. “I guess so.”
With a quick, strained smile, Jared stepped forward and pulled Jensen into his arms.
“Take care of yourself, Jensen,” Jared said, his face tucked into the bend of Jensen’s neck. “Try to remember me every now and again.”
Jensen held Jared tight. “That won’t hard.” He drew back to look in Jared’s eyes. They were glittering with tears. “Not like this is,” he said, a similar moisture gathering in his own. “Be good, and thank you. I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for you.”
“My pleasure.”
With a counterfeit smile and a wave of his hand, Jensen set off, his sack over his shoulder, his step sure. He didn’t hesitate and he didn’t look back. Because he knew all it would take was one moment of weakness, and he’d turn around and lose himself again in Jared’s embrace.
*
It was nearly mid-morning when Jensen heard them-hoof beats coming from somewhere behind him. While he wasn’t carrying much of value, any potential robbers wouldn’t immediately know that. He knew it paid to be cautious when traveling alone. So he stepped off the road and behind a copse of trees, waiting to see who was coming. When two riders came into view, he was stunned.
They wore the maroon and black of Westerly’s royal house, marking them as members of the king’s personal guard.
Jensen came out from his hiding place and waved his hands in the air. “Hey! Hey, there! Stop! Stop a moment!”
The men obliged him and, as they neared, slowed their mounts from a gallop to a trot. As soon as they did, Jensen realized he recognized one of them.
“Tom?”
A tall, dark-haired captain of the guard drew back in surprise. “Jensen?” he called. “Oh, my God. Jensen!”
Pulling his horse up short, just in front of where Jensen stood, Tom all but leapt from its back. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he yanked Jensen into a breath-stealing hug.
“We thought you were dead,” Tom said, pulling back to hold Jensen at arm’s length. He was grinning like a loon. “When we got your message about Avery, but you didn’t turn up yourself, we were afraid he’d killed you.”
“He tried,” Jensen said, smiling back. It was nice to have been missed. “He’d lured me outside of town by telling me he had news about my father. Only the meeting turned out to be an ambush. Avery wasn’t there, just three thugs he’d hired. I barely made it out alive.”
“What happened?” Tom asked, letting go of him. “How did you wind up here?”
“The men who were waiting for me were armed and I was wounded. But in the midst of everything, I managed to get free just long enough to steal one of their horses. The remaining two gave chase, but I eluded them, and rode until I couldn’t hang onto the saddle anymore,” Jensen said with a rueful chuckle.
“You look fine now,” Tom said.
“I am,” Jensen said. “Or at least, very nearly. But that night, I was in a bad way. Luckily, I was found by someone willing to take me in.” He hesitated then, thinking how much more than ‘someone’ Jared was. But he couldn’t get into that, not then with Tom. “I’ve been recuperating and only just this morning set off for Westerly. What are you doing so far from home?”
Tom glanced back at the other guard, still on horseback and waiting patiently nearby. “Robert and I were sent as part of a detachment to retrieve you.”
That struck Jensen as odd. “And yet you were riding hard to Westerly just now without me or my body. It’s not like you to give up on a mission, Tom. Why the sudden need to get back? Is King Frederick up to something even more diabolical?"
Tom frowned. “Jensen, King Frederick isn’t to blame for what happened to you.”
“Maybe not directly,” Jensen said. “But Avery was taking his orders from someone.”
“From Prince Benedict, the king’s brother,” Robert said, bringing his horse a step closer. “He’s the traitor, the one who has been sowing discord between our kingdoms, not King Frederick.”
“Prince Benedict?” Jensen frowned, trying to make sense of it all. “But why?”
“The prince knew his brother was close to signing a treaty that would put to an end decades of unrest between the east and west,” Tom said. “Only Benedict didn’t want that. He wanted to have Westerly to blame if something were to happen to the king, something that would allow him to ascend the throne.”
“You’re telling me he wanted keep tensions high between Westerly and Eastwind,” Jensen said, the light beginning to dawn. “So that when the time was right, he could assassinate the king, his brother, and everyone would think Westerly was to blame.”
Tom nodded. “Exactly.”
“Has King Frederick been made aware of this plot?” Jensen asked. “What about Avery and the prince?”
“The king has them behind bars,” Robert said, “awaiting trial.”
“Excellent news,” Jensen said. “But it still doesn’t explain why you were riding full speed for Westerly just now.”
Looking concerned suddenly, Tom hesitated, then said, “Jensen, we found your father. Under questioning, Avery confessed Benedict had arranged to have him kidnapped. We made Avery tell us where he was being held.”
“You found my…what?” Jensen said, his heart beating so hard just then, he found it difficult to catch his breath. “How is that even…? My God. Where is he?”
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this-but when we found him, your father wasn’t well,” Tom said, his voice gentle. “Benedict had kept him locked away for all this time, thinking he might be useful both to stir up trouble and as a kind of bargaining chip.” Tom faltered, as if searching for a way to soften the blow. “It appears he was…ill-treated.”
“All this time and nobody knew…” Jensen said, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe it. “What is being done for him?” He searching the horizon, even though he knew there was nothing to be seen, wondering where his father was being kept. “Take me to him at once.”
“He’s with the rest of our company,” Robert said. “They’re following after us, accompanying the wagon that’s transporting him.”
“If he’s unwell, why are you moving him?” Jensen asked, concerned. “Why not just leave him in Eastwind?”
“They’re without their physician,” Tom said. “The man has traveled to the North Country to be with his daughter when she gives birth. They don’t expect him back for weeks.”
“The kingdom is trying to make do in the meantime, but there’s no one with the expertise your father needs,” Robert said. “We’d thought it best to try and return him to Westerly. Tom and I were riding ahead in order to alert Eleanor.”
As gifted as he knew Eleanor, the court physician, to be, Jensen couldn’t help but be worried by their strategy. “Riding full out, you two could probably make it to Westerly in a day,” Jensen said. “But a wagon, carrying a sick man is going to take days. He could be dead by then.”
“We’d thought we’d try and bring Eleanor back with us,” Tom said, putting his hand on Jensen’s shoulder in a show of support. “We can switch horses when we reach the kingdom, turn around and come back again. It’s not ideal, but it’ll get him help sooner.”
Jensen shook his head. “If he’s badly off as you suggest, it may not be soon enough.”
“Jensen, our choices are rather limited,” Tom said. “Apart from Eleanor, there isn’t anyone else with the necessary skills.”
“I may know of someone,” Jensen said, an alternate plan beginning to form. “But first take me to him. Take me to my father.”
They decided it would be best if Jensen rode double with Tom. So together, the three took off the way Jensen had just come, racing as fast as they could, their horses’ coats shiny with sweat.
They passed the lane that had brought Jensen from Jared’s house to the main road and traveled on perhaps an hour past that point before Jensen saw the wagon and its escort. When they reached the caravan, Jensen slid from his mount before Tom had even brought the animal to a complete stop.
“Father!” he cried, running to the back of the wagon, his legs shaky with both anticipation and fatigue. He climbed aboard and scrambled over to kneel beside the man he hadn’t seen for months.
Jensen almost didn’t recognize him.
The man who’d left for Eastwind that autumn morning so long ago had been hale and healthy, full of vitality and blessed with good looks. The man Jensen found lying in the back of that wagon was only a shadow of that.
“Oh, Father,” Jensen murmured, tears filling his eyes as he took hold of his father’s hand. “What have those bastards done to you?”
There were no noticeable wounds, save for ligature marks around his wrists that suggested he’d been restrained. But he was thin as a willow branch, his complexion pale like ivory, and frail. He seemed to have aged ten years rather than only a matter of months.
Tom came to the back of the wagon. “You can see why we’re concerned.”
Jensen nodded, his brow furrowed in worry. “Tom, he won’t survive a trip to Westerly. Surely you can see that.”
“I fear as much,” Tom admitted. “But Jensen-what else can we do?”
“We can get him help from someplace else, from someone else,” Jensen said. “The man who helped me lives not too far from here. With a little luck, we should make it there by dinnertime.”
“Is he a physician?” Tom said.
“A healer,” Jensen said. “And very skilled. He saved me. Maybe he can save my father too.”
Tom didn’t even have to think about it. “Very well. I’ll tell the men we’ve had a change of plans.”
“Thank you,” Jensen said, before returning his attention to the man lying still and quiet beside him. “Hang on, Father, just a little while longer. Please don’t leave me when I’ve only just found you again.”
*
Masterpost
Part I
Part II
Part IV
“Are your chores done?” Jensen asked, pleased by the way Jared’s gaze lingered he saw how Jensen was dressed.
“Yeah,” Jared said, seemingly shaking himself from contemplation. “Did you save me some water?”
"There’s still plenty,” Jensen said, emptying his used water into the sink. “Sit down. I’ll get it for you.”
“Thanks.” His step heavy, Jared took a seat at the table.
Returning to the hearth, Jensen refilled the basin. He brought it over and set it on the table near Jared’s elbow. “You’ll probably want to let that cool for a minute,” he said.
“That’s all right,” Jared said, rubbing his hands over his face, his legs sprawled in front of him. “I don’t mind waiting. It feels good to finally be sitting down.”
“I’ll bet,” Jensen said, running his hand over Jared’s tousled hair. “You’ve been up since dawn and working hard all day. You need to relax. Tell you what-give me your boot.”
“Why?” Jared asked, even as he lifted his leg.
“I want to help you,” Jensen said, freeing Jared’s foot from its confinement. “Seems to me you could use some looking after.”
Jared sat up, removing his leg from Jensen’s grasp. “That’s not necessary.”
“I know it’s not,” Jensen said with a smile. “But I’m doing it anyway. Now…other foot.”
“This is silly.” Frowning , Jared lifted his other leg. Jensen tugging off that boot as well.
“There now. Isn’t that better?” Jensen asked
“Thanks,” Jared said. “I appreciate it-“
“Oh, but I’m not done,” Jensen said, stepping closer. “Raise your arms.”
As before, Jared did as he was bid. Though he didn’t look happy about it. “I can do this myself, you know.”
“I know,” Jensen said, pulling Jared’s shirt up over his head. “But I don’t want you to.” What Jensen did want to do was touch. All of Jared’s gorgeous smooth skin. Jensen had seen him without his shirt before, of course. They’d been living together for more than a week in a house with precious little privacy. He knew what Jared looked like, with clothes and without. But this was different. This was in preparation for something far more intimate. Jensen intended to savor the moment.
Yet Jared seemed uncomfortable with the scrutiny. He looked up at Jensen, frowning. “Jensen, what are we doing?”
“I’m trying to make you feel good,” Jensen said, kneeling carefully between Jared’s legs, his hands braced for balance on Jared’s thighs. “I don’t know what you’re doing.”
Jared covered Jensen’s hands with his own. “That makes two of us.”
Now it was Jensen’s turn to frown. “Surely you’ve done this before, even if only with a woman.”
Jared shook his head.
“Never?” Jensen asked, his eyebrows lifting.
His answer was another shake of Jared’s head.
Jensen sat back on his heels. “How is that possible?”
Jared smiled, small and rather shy. “As you’re so fond of reminding me-I live by myself in the woods.”
“Huh,” Jensen said, unable to be more articulate. Of all the things he’d thought he might learn about Jared that night, this particular revelation wasn’t one of them.
When Jensen said nothing further, Jared’s smile turned bittersweet. He looked away, and chuckled softly. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”
That roused Jensen from his reverie. “You’re wrong.” Reaching up, he turned Jared’s face towards his. “I want you very much,” he said, then kissed Jared, slow and sweet, his hand cradling Jared’s cheek.
“I’m glad,” Jared whispered when their kiss was finished. He kept his eyes closed, as before, and spoke from so closely by, Jensen could feel Jared’s breath wash over his face. “I want this with you.” He opened his eyes and looked at Jensen, every need, ever desire so plain, it made Jensen’s heart ache. “Even if it’s only for tonight. Even if you leave tomorrow and I never see you again, I want to know what it’s like to be with you.”
There was something so honest about the way Jared spoke, so raw and so brave, that part of Jensen wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him near, not as Jared’s lover, but as his protector.
You can’t open yourself up like that, Jared. There are those out there who will take advantage of you if you give them that kind of opportunity. You need to be tougher than that if you’re going to go out into the world.
And in that moment, Jensen decided he would never be one of those people. He’d never let Jared feel used or exposed.
So he did what he’d thought to do before. He wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck and wound his fingers through his hair. Tucking his forehead up under Jared’s chin, Jensen all but burrowed against him. He wasn’t even sure who was taking comfort from whom anymore. “Jared.”
Jared folded around him, enveloping Jensen in his embrace, all his beautiful warm skin pressed close against Jensen’s own.
“How do we do this?” Jared asked softly, inches from Jensen’s ear. “I want to please you, but I’m not really sure how.”
Jensen pulled back to look at him, and smiled. “It’s not that difficult. I’ll show you.”
With Jared’s help, Jensen got to his feet. Yet when Jared began to also stand, Jensen stopped him. “Not so fast. Your water should be cool enough by now.”
“You don’t have to-“
Giving Jared a look designed to keep him in his seat, Jensen picked up a clean bit of toweling, and dipped it into the basin.
“What are you doing?” Jared asked, sitting slouched in his chair.
Jensen came to stand between his legs, the soap and damp toweling in his hands. “A variation on what you did for me. Close your eyes.”
Soaping up the cloth, he began running it over Jared’s face, swabbing his high forehead and cheeks, tracing the slope of his nose and sharp angle of his jaw. Once Jensen felt confident the soap had done its duty, he dipped the cloth again in water, wringing it free of suds before rinsing away the lather, leaving Jared’s skin fragrant and clean.
Jensen repeated the exercise on Jared’s neck and shoulders, down his arms and hands, across his chest and sweeping south to stroke low across his belly.
Jared squirmed in his chair at that touch, his cheeks flushed, and chuckled. “That tickles.”
Jensen smiled. “The man is ticklish. I’ll remember that.” He tossed the toweling into the basin and rubbed his hands on his pant legs to dry them. “Come here.” He extended his hand.
Jared took it and pushed to his feet. The minute he was standing, Jensen got started opening his flies.
“I want to see you,” Jensen muttered, eyes on his work. “I want to see all of you and touch every inch.”
Jared’s breath caught for just a second, then released. Slicking his lips with his tongue before he spoke, he murmured, “Hurry.”
Hurry is exactly what Jensen did, fumbling with stubborn buttons and ties until finally he was able to push his hands inside Jared’s clothing to find him, hard and warm and waiting. When Jensen closed his fingers around Jared’s length, his thumb stroking softly up and down, Jared tipped up his chin, his eyes slamming shut. “Oh… Oh, God,” he moaned, grabbing hold of Jensen’s arms. “My God.”
“Has anyone ever touched you like this before?” Jensen asked, pressing a line of clinging kisses down the side of Jared’s neck. “Has anyone before me ever made you hard?”
Bringing his head level, Jared nuzzled at Jensen’s temple, his hands sliding up to card through Jensen’s hair. “No one. Only you.”
Jared’s confession shouldn’t have made Jensen’s heart quicken, or the desire pooling low in his center throb and churn. But it did. “I’m going to make you feel so good,” Jensen whispered, before tracing the shape of Jared’s ear with the tip of his nose. “I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.”
Jared made a hushed, wordless sound and, sprinkling almost frantic kisses across Jensen’s face, pushed his hips forward as if to ask for more of Jensen’s attention. Jensen gladly gave it to him, pushing Jared’s pants and underwear down and away, until they pooled around Jared’s ankles, and he stepped out of them.
“Let me look at you,” Jensen said, hands on Jared’s hips, keeping him close, even as Jensen took a step away. “I want to see.” With seeming reluctance, Jared obliged him.
Jensen let his gaze glide from Jared’s flushed cheeks and heated eyes, down past his broad shoulders and chest, to the trail of feathery dark hair leading to his cock. It jutted from between his legs, full and long and rosy with blood. “Beautiful. So beautiful,” Jensen said, reaching out to skim his fingertips along it, then cradle Jared’s balls in his hand, closing around them just enough to make Jared gasp and whine. “And you don’t even know it.”
“I know you make me crazy,” Jared muttered, capturing Jensen’s face between his hands and pulling him forward into an almost desperate kiss, his technique all demanding lips and thrusting tongue. Jensen went with it, pressing Jared close, loving the feel of his shaft trapped between them, hard and leaking.
“Take these off,” Jared murmured against his lips. “Want to see you too.” He tugged and plucked at the waist of Jensen’s pants as if uncertain of the best means of removing them. Jensen shooed his hands away and took care of that for him, opening his flies and shoving his clothing to the floor. As soon as he was naked, Jared pulled him close, his arms circling around Jensen and hauling him in. But with their clothes littering the floor, making footing uncertain, their balance was off. In his enthusiasm, Jared’s hip collided with Jensen’s injury, landing squarely on the still healing incision. Much as he wanted to hold back his cry, Jensen couldn’t help but let it escape. The moment he did, Jared’s arms fell away. “Oh, God. Jensen…I’m so sorry! Are you all right?”
“It’s fine,” Jensen said, reaching for him. “No harm done.”
“Are you sure?” Jared evaded his grasp, his brow wrinkled with concern. “God. I’m such an idiot.”
“Yes, I am, and no, you’re not,” Jensen said, equal parts amused and annoyed. “Relax. I’m well, I promise.”
For a moment, Jared looked like he was going to argue the point. But in the end, he took a slow, deep breath and nodded. “All right. If you say so.”
“What I say is we need to slow things down a bit. It’s been a long day. I don’t know that either of us is up for anything overly athletic,” Jensen said, stepping closer and taking hold of Jared’s hand. He glanced over at the bed. “Come here.”
Jared looked at their linked hands, then followed Jensen silently to the bed.
“Sit down,” Jensen said, giving him a little push. Jared fell lightly onto the mattress. Jensen climbed in alongside him. “Scoot over into the middle there.”
Again, Jared did as he was told, positioning himself so he was flat on his back in the center of the mattress. The moment he was settled, Jensen straddled him so that he was facing Jared and sitting high on Jared’s thighs. Their cocks lay only a hair’s breadth apart.
“Very nice,” Jensen said, taking in the view.
Jared was spread out before him like a banquet. Jensen almost didn’t know where to start. He reached out his hand and dragged it slowly over Jared’s smooth, golden skin, learning its texture. The minute his touch wandered below Jared’s belly button, Jared sucked in a quick, sharp breath as if shrinking from the sensation. His hands grabbed hold of Jensen’s arms. “Jensen-“
“Yes, I know,” Jensen said, peeling Jared’s fingers away, gently but surely. “You’re ticklish. But that’s too bad, because I want to touch and I’m on top. So keep your hands to yourself, and take it like a man. In fact…” He grabbed hold of Jared’s wrists and, stretching out, rearranged Jared’s arms so they were bent upwards, framing his head. “Perfect. Now stay there.”
Jared chewed on his lower lip for a moment, his eyes wide and dark. But he didn’t protest and he didn’t move.
“Do you mind when I’m bossy?” Jensen asked, taking hold of Jared’s cock and giving it a friendly couple of strokes. In spite of the earlier interruption, Jared’s interest hadn’t flagged.
Jared shivered, his eyes sliding shut for a moment, then open again. “N-not really.”
“Are you telling me you like being told what to do?” Jensen said, teasing.
Jared thought about it for a moment, looking up Jensen through his lashes. “I don’t mind it so much when it’s you.”
Jensen smiled and leaned in close. “Well in that case, here’s a very important instruction-no matter how I touch you, no matter what we do together, don’t come until I tell you to. Do you think you can do that for me, Jared?”
“Yeah,” Jared said, his voice rough-edged and worn. “I think I can.”
“Good boy.” With that, Jensen bent down and kissed low on Jared’s belly, right where he knew Jared was most ticklish.
“Oh!” Jared twisted and writhed, his back arching. But otherwise, he didn’t move.
So Jensen did it again, and again, and then some more, testing Jared’s will, as well as his tolerance.
“Oh, God. What are you…Christ.”
Jared held up well under the assault. He gasped and groaned and called Jensen’s name. But he never pushed Jensen away and he never rolled out from under him, both of which Jensen knew Jared was more than strong enough to do.
Content with Jared’s reaction, Jensen edged back off his perch, kneeling now between Jared’s spread legs. Jared’s entire body was flushed, his chest heaving. His hair was tangled across his brow from where his head had rolled restlessly on the pillow, and his muscles were corded with tension.
“Poor baby,” Jensen crooned, smiling. His hands rubbing soothingly along Jared’s now trembling legs. “Have I been mean to you?”
“You’re horrible,” Jared said breathlessly. “A terrible person. I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Guess I’m going to have to make it up to you,” Jensen murmured.
Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to the base of Jared’s cock.
Jared all but convulsed beneath him. “Oh…oh...”
“Don’t move. Not even that little bit,” Jensen said, his hand on Jared’s belly to help hold him in place. “And don’t you dare come. Not yet.”
Jared nodded frantically. Sweat was beginning to shimmer on his skin.
“If you could see yourself,” Jensen whispered, bending down to kiss the inside of Jared’s thigh. “If you could see what you look like when you want someone…”
“I want you,” Jared said, his voice shredded with need. “God…want you so much.”
“Don’t worry,” Jensen said, lifting Jared’s swollen shaft to his lips. “You’ve got me.” He licked delicately at the length’s glistening tip, swirling his tongue in the pearly liquid beading there. Jared made a sound like he was dying. “Shh,” Jensen said, repeating the caress. “Easy. I’ll take care of you.”
Good as his word, he closed his lips around Jared’s length and plunged downward, his hand twisting upwards from the base to meet midway. He took Jared in as deeply as he could, then dragged his mouth back up again, establishing a steady rhythm.
As Jensen worked, Jared shivered beneath him as if he’d taken a chill, his muscles all but jumping beneath his skin. Yet he didn’t thrust or even try to rock with Jensen’s motion. Instead he stayed perfect still, his hectic eyes locked on Jensen, panting like he was running uphill.
“Amazing,” Jensen said after a time, after letting Jared’s cock at long last slide free from between his lips. It was huge in his grasp, and flushed a deep, dusky pink. He could feel Jared’s pulse pounding there, thudding dull and fast against his palm. “You’re amazing. I can see how badly you want this.” He began to move his hand again, stroking long and slow, his thumb tracing the underside vein. “Yet you’re able to hold on. I’m impressed, Jared. Very impressed.”
Jensen flicked lightly with his thumb against the spongy mushroom head, just to see if Jared would lose control. He didn’t, but the noise he made didn’t sound entirely human.
“Are you ready?” Jensen asked, crawling forward to kneel alongside Jared’s waist, all the while continuing to work him with his hand, the pressure light and designed to be maddening. “Do you want me to give you permission?”
“Yes,” Jared gasped, arms yet raised as if in surrender, his fingers twitching. “Oh, yes…yes, please.”
“All right,” Jensen said, bending down to press a gentle kiss to Jared’s cheek. “Go ahead, Jared. Let go.”
Like a spark to gunpowder, Jared’s need ignited. He threw back his head and shouted his release, his body shuddering with such power, Jensen nearly lost his grip on him. He’d never seen anything like it. Jared’s body was shaking so hard his teeth were rattling, his cock jerking in Jensen’s grasp, shooting rope after rope of glossy white fluid to wet his belly and Jensen’s hand.
Yet the entire time, never once did Jared lower his arms.
“Move, Jared,” Jensen said, swinging his leg over one of Jared’s thighs and gathering up his own cock together with Jared’s, Jared’s release making everything slick and silky. “It’s all right to move.” Breath hitching at the sensation of Jared’s length rubbing against his, Jensen began moving his hand over them both, Jared’s cock still twitching and dribbling fluid.
As soon as he heard Jensen’s words, Jared groaned and brought his arms down to wrap heavy and warm around Jensen’s shoulders. The weight drove Jensen flat against Jared, so that his cheek rested high on Jared’s chest. Jensen bucked and wriggled against him, his wound beginning to ache, but he wasn’t about to stop.
Help came when Jared reached down to cup Jensen’s ass in his massive hands, lending his strength when Jensen’s began to flag. All it took was a few more strokes of Jensen’s fist.
“Oh, Jesus.”
And Jensen came all over Jared’s belly and chest.
The two of them lay there for a long while afterwards, calming their runaway hearts and catching their breath. Jared combed softly through Jensen’s hair. At last, he murmured, “Not bad for a first time.”
Jensen pressed up on shaky arms to see Jared’s expression. Smug was the best word for it.
Jensen looked around at the disaster they’d made of the bed and themselves. “I don’t know about you, but I need a bath.”
Jared smiled, his eyes shining in the firelight. “Seeing as it was a bath that got things started, I feel I need to warn you-I don’t believe I’m quite ready to go another round.”
Jensen laughed, which set off Jared. Together they lay there, side by side, giggling as if there were no secrets between them, as if Jensen didn’t have a life he needed to return to and Jared had no reason he couldn’t go with him. They laughed, giddy with exhaustion and with each other, until dreamland finally claimed them and they slept the night in their messy bed, content in each other’s arms.
Round two didn’t come till sunrise. Jensen’s wash-up didn’t come till after round three.
*
Jensen should have known it wouldn’t be sex that caused a problem between them.
It would be the talking afterwards.
After a lazy morning, where they touched often, but said little, Jared and he sat down to share the midday meal.
“Do you have any idea how long it’ll take you to pack?” Jensen asked, nibbling on a piece of cheese.
Jared set down his cup and looked at him, frowning. “Pack what?”
“What you want to bring with you to Westerly,” Jensen said. When Jared didn’t speak, he continued. “I was thinking what we might want to do is pull together everything essential-clothing, your books, any personal items-and take them with us now in the wagon. Then, once we’re settled, we can come back with some help to close up the cottage and retrieve the rest of your belongings.”
Jared looked away. “Jensen…,“ he began, his voice small.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen said, realizing suddenly he might have given offense. “The cottage is yours, of course, and it’s your decision. It just seems to me it might be hard to manage the property from Westerly, and I wasn’t sure if you’d want to sell, at least not right away-“
“Jensen, I can’t come with you to Westerly,” Jared said in a rush, his gaze meeting Jensen’s once more, his expression pained.
“What do you mean you can’t come with me?” Jensen asked, feeling something heavy and cold take shape inside his belly.
“I mean…it’s not possible,” Jared said. “You know that. I told you.”
“But I thought…last night…” Jensen couldn’t say more. He wouldn’t. He refused to sound like some green girl who’d mistaken a simple flirtation for something more.
“Last night was wonderful,” Jared said, taking Jensen’s hand between both of his. It was all Jensen could do to keep from pushing him away. “You were wonderful. And I wish…God. But never mind. I think we both know wishing doesn’t make it so.”
Neither spoke for a time. Finally, Jensen said, “So this is it? There’s truly no way I can persuade you?”
Jared shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. But…no. Please believe me when I tell you it’s for the best.”
Jensen didn’t believe that, didn’t see how he could ever possibly be convinced. But he also didn’t know what else to do, how else to plead his case. He nodded. “Well, then. I suppose there’s no longer any reason for me to stay. I’ll leave tomorrow, first thing.”
For a moment Jared looked like he might say protest. His eyes grew bright and his expression crumpled. But in the end, all he said was, “I understand.”
The rest of the day felt strange to Jensen, unreal, as if he were trapped in an unwelcome dream. Certain things he’d gotten used to-the easy give-and-take Jared and he had shared, the way their time together had acquired a kind of rhythm and routine, the certainty that their future was endless and full of possibilities-had in a single afternoon disappeared. He felt adrift, like a boat cast out from safe harbor.
For his part, Jared made himself scarce, excusing himself to attend to his chores, then staying outside for the rest of the afternoon. With only Tabitha for company, Jensen did what he could to fill the time, cleaning up what remained of their lunch, and trying to put back in place all the things that had been moved to accommodate his presence.
When that was finished and everything looked in order, he gathered together some of the clothing Jared had let him use-mostly pieces that had belonged to Jared’s father-and packed everything in a sack he’d found hanging near the door, along with some food from the larder. He didn’t think the trip home would be too arduous, not now that he was nearly recovered from his injury, but he would still need some provisions. He knew, despite their differences, Jared wouldn’t begrudge him in that regard.
The hours passed and the sun fell. The cottage seemed almost unnaturally still, hollow, with no Jared there to fill it. Jensen had always liked the way the single room had seemed cozy and warm. But now, not even laying a new fire in the hearth could combat the chill Jensen felt being alone in a space where Jared was meant to be. He was relieved when at last Jared came home, the dogs at his heels.
“Have you eaten?” Jared asked when he’d closed the door behind him.
“Not yet,” Jensen said, standing at the table. “I was waiting for you.”
After the smallest hesitation, Jared nodded, yet Jensen saw uncertainty in his eyes. “Is this all right?” he asked.
Jensen frowned. “Is what all right?”
“This,” Jared said, gesturing rather vaguely about the room. “Me…being here.”
“Jared, you live here,” Jensen said, not sure whether to laugh or cry at Jared’s concerns.
“Yes, I know. Of course, I do. It’s just…you and me…it’s hard right now,” Jared said, taking a step towards him then stopping abruptly, as if he were unsure Jensen would welcome such advances. “Awkward. And I’m to blame. I know I am. So if it would be easier for you tonight, I’d be willing to sleep-“
“It wouldn’t,” Jensen said, no doubt in his mind, not after the afternoon he’d just endured. “Stay. Please. Keep me company tonight. It’s our last night, after all. I don’t want to be alone.”
“All right,” Jared said, the faintest trace of a smile softening his lips.
So they prepared the evening meal together, and ate it, sitting elbow to elbow at the table. When they finished , Jared uncorked a bottle of ale and poured them each a glass. Jensen offered up a toast.
“To strangers becoming friends, and friendships being remembered.”
By wordless agreement, Jared brought out his old battered chessboard and they played one last game. It seemed to Jensen almost fitting when the contest ended as most tended to do-with Jared capturing his queen. Any other outcome and he would have suspected Jared of letting him win. That would have been the final humiliation.
“It’s getting late,” Jensen said when the game was over. “I should probably turn in.”
Jared nodded. “Just let me lay out the pallet before you blow out the candles.”
“No,” Jensen said, stopping him as he turned away. “Share the bed with me.” When Jared looked surprised by the request, he explained, “We’ll sleep, just sleep. Please…do that with me.”
“All right.”
The candles snuffed, they stripped down to their underclothes and slipped beneath the covers, rolling immediately into each other’s arms.
Jensen lay with his cheek pressed to Jared’s chest and listened to the soothing beat of Jared’s heart. In so many ways, sleep would have been welcome. But Jensen couldn’t give into it just yet, not when he wanted to commit to memory this moment, and what it was like to be held so tenderly by a man Jensen could admit to himself he’d grown to love.
This was their last night together, after all. Any impressions he was able to store away had to be enough to last him a lifetime.
*
The next morning, Jared insisted he accompany Jensen as far as the northernmost edge of the Great Forest.
“I’ve never traveled that way myself. But I know from what my father had told me that the main road between Eastwind and Westerly runs along the forest’s northern border. Monty can carry both of us. Traveling that way, it should only take us a couple of hours to reach the road. From there, on foot, you’re looking at two, maybe two and a half days before you reach the kingdom.”
Jensen knew the longer their farewell was extended, the more difficult it would finally be when they parted. But he could see the logic in such an arrangement. He was feeling a great deal better than he had been feeling. But he still wasn’t in peak condition. Starting the journey, riding behind Jared, would help him conserve his energy.
“Thank you. That’ll make things easier.”
They set off even earlier than they had the morning they’d gone to market. This time, Jared brought Daisy and Clarence along.
“For the trip back,” he explained when Jensen questioned him on it. He looked away and shrugged sheepishly. “I think I might like to have the company.”
The day was overcast and the temperature was mild. It was good traveling weather. With his arms clasped around Jared’s middle and the dogs bounding ahead of them, rousting birds and chasing scents, Jensen began to come to a kind of acceptance. This was not the way he’d wanted things to end with Jared. But at least, he’d known him, even if for only a brief while. He couldn’t be sorry about that.
In seemingly no time at all, they emerged from the narrow forest lane and out onto a far wider, well-maintained road. No travelers could be seen just then, but Jensen knew he was bound to come across others on his journey.
“Here we are,” Jared said, bringing Monty to a stop, so Jensen could climb down before he also dismounted. “You’ll want to head in this direction for Westerly. The villages you’ll pass along the way will be small, but you should be able to secure lodgings for the night.
“I’m familiar with the route,” Jensen said, taking his sack from the saddlebag. “This is how the delegation traveled to Eastwind initially.”
Jared nodded, looked away, then met Jensen’s eyes once more. “So…I guess this is it.”
Jensen felt his throat go dry and his palms sweat. “I guess so.”
With a quick, strained smile, Jared stepped forward and pulled Jensen into his arms.
“Take care of yourself, Jensen,” Jared said, his face tucked into the bend of Jensen’s neck. “Try to remember me every now and again.”
Jensen held Jared tight. “That won’t hard.” He drew back to look in Jared’s eyes. They were glittering with tears. “Not like this is,” he said, a similar moisture gathering in his own. “Be good, and thank you. I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for you.”
“My pleasure.”
With a counterfeit smile and a wave of his hand, Jensen set off, his sack over his shoulder, his step sure. He didn’t hesitate and he didn’t look back. Because he knew all it would take was one moment of weakness, and he’d turn around and lose himself again in Jared’s embrace.
*
It was nearly mid-morning when Jensen heard them-hoof beats coming from somewhere behind him. While he wasn’t carrying much of value, any potential robbers wouldn’t immediately know that. He knew it paid to be cautious when traveling alone. So he stepped off the road and behind a copse of trees, waiting to see who was coming. When two riders came into view, he was stunned.
They wore the maroon and black of Westerly’s royal house, marking them as members of the king’s personal guard.
Jensen came out from his hiding place and waved his hands in the air. “Hey! Hey, there! Stop! Stop a moment!”
The men obliged him and, as they neared, slowed their mounts from a gallop to a trot. As soon as they did, Jensen realized he recognized one of them.
“Tom?”
A tall, dark-haired captain of the guard drew back in surprise. “Jensen?” he called. “Oh, my God. Jensen!”
Pulling his horse up short, just in front of where Jensen stood, Tom all but leapt from its back. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he yanked Jensen into a breath-stealing hug.
“We thought you were dead,” Tom said, pulling back to hold Jensen at arm’s length. He was grinning like a loon. “When we got your message about Avery, but you didn’t turn up yourself, we were afraid he’d killed you.”
“He tried,” Jensen said, smiling back. It was nice to have been missed. “He’d lured me outside of town by telling me he had news about my father. Only the meeting turned out to be an ambush. Avery wasn’t there, just three thugs he’d hired. I barely made it out alive.”
“What happened?” Tom asked, letting go of him. “How did you wind up here?”
“The men who were waiting for me were armed and I was wounded. But in the midst of everything, I managed to get free just long enough to steal one of their horses. The remaining two gave chase, but I eluded them, and rode until I couldn’t hang onto the saddle anymore,” Jensen said with a rueful chuckle.
“You look fine now,” Tom said.
“I am,” Jensen said. “Or at least, very nearly. But that night, I was in a bad way. Luckily, I was found by someone willing to take me in.” He hesitated then, thinking how much more than ‘someone’ Jared was. But he couldn’t get into that, not then with Tom. “I’ve been recuperating and only just this morning set off for Westerly. What are you doing so far from home?”
Tom glanced back at the other guard, still on horseback and waiting patiently nearby. “Robert and I were sent as part of a detachment to retrieve you.”
That struck Jensen as odd. “And yet you were riding hard to Westerly just now without me or my body. It’s not like you to give up on a mission, Tom. Why the sudden need to get back? Is King Frederick up to something even more diabolical?"
Tom frowned. “Jensen, King Frederick isn’t to blame for what happened to you.”
“Maybe not directly,” Jensen said. “But Avery was taking his orders from someone.”
“From Prince Benedict, the king’s brother,” Robert said, bringing his horse a step closer. “He’s the traitor, the one who has been sowing discord between our kingdoms, not King Frederick.”
“Prince Benedict?” Jensen frowned, trying to make sense of it all. “But why?”
“The prince knew his brother was close to signing a treaty that would put to an end decades of unrest between the east and west,” Tom said. “Only Benedict didn’t want that. He wanted to have Westerly to blame if something were to happen to the king, something that would allow him to ascend the throne.”
“You’re telling me he wanted keep tensions high between Westerly and Eastwind,” Jensen said, the light beginning to dawn. “So that when the time was right, he could assassinate the king, his brother, and everyone would think Westerly was to blame.”
Tom nodded. “Exactly.”
“Has King Frederick been made aware of this plot?” Jensen asked. “What about Avery and the prince?”
“The king has them behind bars,” Robert said, “awaiting trial.”
“Excellent news,” Jensen said. “But it still doesn’t explain why you were riding full speed for Westerly just now.”
Looking concerned suddenly, Tom hesitated, then said, “Jensen, we found your father. Under questioning, Avery confessed Benedict had arranged to have him kidnapped. We made Avery tell us where he was being held.”
“You found my…what?” Jensen said, his heart beating so hard just then, he found it difficult to catch his breath. “How is that even…? My God. Where is he?”
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this-but when we found him, your father wasn’t well,” Tom said, his voice gentle. “Benedict had kept him locked away for all this time, thinking he might be useful both to stir up trouble and as a kind of bargaining chip.” Tom faltered, as if searching for a way to soften the blow. “It appears he was…ill-treated.”
“All this time and nobody knew…” Jensen said, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe it. “What is being done for him?” He searching the horizon, even though he knew there was nothing to be seen, wondering where his father was being kept. “Take me to him at once.”
“He’s with the rest of our company,” Robert said. “They’re following after us, accompanying the wagon that’s transporting him.”
“If he’s unwell, why are you moving him?” Jensen asked, concerned. “Why not just leave him in Eastwind?”
“They’re without their physician,” Tom said. “The man has traveled to the North Country to be with his daughter when she gives birth. They don’t expect him back for weeks.”
“The kingdom is trying to make do in the meantime, but there’s no one with the expertise your father needs,” Robert said. “We’d thought it best to try and return him to Westerly. Tom and I were riding ahead in order to alert Eleanor.”
As gifted as he knew Eleanor, the court physician, to be, Jensen couldn’t help but be worried by their strategy. “Riding full out, you two could probably make it to Westerly in a day,” Jensen said. “But a wagon, carrying a sick man is going to take days. He could be dead by then.”
“We’d thought we’d try and bring Eleanor back with us,” Tom said, putting his hand on Jensen’s shoulder in a show of support. “We can switch horses when we reach the kingdom, turn around and come back again. It’s not ideal, but it’ll get him help sooner.”
Jensen shook his head. “If he’s badly off as you suggest, it may not be soon enough.”
“Jensen, our choices are rather limited,” Tom said. “Apart from Eleanor, there isn’t anyone else with the necessary skills.”
“I may know of someone,” Jensen said, an alternate plan beginning to form. “But first take me to him. Take me to my father.”
They decided it would be best if Jensen rode double with Tom. So together, the three took off the way Jensen had just come, racing as fast as they could, their horses’ coats shiny with sweat.
They passed the lane that had brought Jensen from Jared’s house to the main road and traveled on perhaps an hour past that point before Jensen saw the wagon and its escort. When they reached the caravan, Jensen slid from his mount before Tom had even brought the animal to a complete stop.
“Father!” he cried, running to the back of the wagon, his legs shaky with both anticipation and fatigue. He climbed aboard and scrambled over to kneel beside the man he hadn’t seen for months.
Jensen almost didn’t recognize him.
The man who’d left for Eastwind that autumn morning so long ago had been hale and healthy, full of vitality and blessed with good looks. The man Jensen found lying in the back of that wagon was only a shadow of that.
“Oh, Father,” Jensen murmured, tears filling his eyes as he took hold of his father’s hand. “What have those bastards done to you?”
There were no noticeable wounds, save for ligature marks around his wrists that suggested he’d been restrained. But he was thin as a willow branch, his complexion pale like ivory, and frail. He seemed to have aged ten years rather than only a matter of months.
Tom came to the back of the wagon. “You can see why we’re concerned.”
Jensen nodded, his brow furrowed in worry. “Tom, he won’t survive a trip to Westerly. Surely you can see that.”
“I fear as much,” Tom admitted. “But Jensen-what else can we do?”
“We can get him help from someplace else, from someone else,” Jensen said. “The man who helped me lives not too far from here. With a little luck, we should make it there by dinnertime.”
“Is he a physician?” Tom said.
“A healer,” Jensen said. “And very skilled. He saved me. Maybe he can save my father too.”
Tom didn’t even have to think about it. “Very well. I’ll tell the men we’ve had a change of plans.”
“Thank you,” Jensen said, before returning his attention to the man lying still and quiet beside him. “Hang on, Father, just a little while longer. Please don’t leave me when I’ve only just found you again.”
*
Masterpost
Part I
Part II
Part IV