One thing: "Why, certainly not, dearest Sango," he said, almost sounding appalled. "I will be a prefect gentleman." A perfect gentleman xD
Other than that, I loved it! I already gushed about the Shippo + friend connection, but it all just seems to flow really nicely. Naturally, my favorite was Miroku (he's always my favorite though). I love watching him attempt to put the moves on Sango, then always get shut down.
Re: It is coming together nicelyamyrat151June 26 2009, 06:06:22 UTC
I fixed it, thank you! I liked how I put the songs in, too. I plan on putting a lot of my music in, if I continue. Plus, I'm glad I have flow, if nothing else.
Wow, I'm really liking this so far. I personally felt that some sentences are passive (with "was"), but overall a very good start - good flow and the AU setting fits.
Please do continue if you want to and when you have time. ^^
Comments 4
"Why, certainly not, dearest Sango," he said, almost sounding appalled. "I will be a prefect gentleman."
A perfect gentleman xD
Other than that, I loved it!
I already gushed about the Shippo + friend connection, but it all just seems to flow really nicely.
Naturally, my favorite was Miroku (he's always my favorite though). I love watching him attempt to put the moves on Sango, then always get shut down.
Expecting more soon!
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And thank you for commenting on it, I'll have to see what others say as well before being sold on continuing.
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(The comment has been removed)
I liked how I put the songs in, too. I plan on putting a lot of my music in, if I continue.
Plus, I'm glad I have flow, if nothing else.
Reply
Please do continue if you want to and when you have time. ^^
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