Comments | amyhit: The Manxome Foe We Sought

amyhit

The Manxome Foe We Sought - 2/2

May 22, 2009 19:28

Title: The Manxome Foe We Sought
Author: amyhit
Summary: "You and your pretty partner look awfully close."
Rating: PG
Spoilers: for Pusher, also for Beyond the Sea and Grotesque.
Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Notes: Mulder, Scully, literature, discussion, banter, and waiting. Why yes, I did write Stakeout Fic, but really, consider it a massive ( Read more... )

my fanfic

Comments 39

hummingfly67 May 23 2009, 22:47:42 UTC

I read part one earlier and had to go out, and it stayed on my mind until I could get back to part two.

This...this is how I imagined their stakeouts to be. This is so them.

I was earmarking lines as I went along, then realized I'd probably have this huge post of pasted lines.

Thank-you for sharing such a lovely piece.

amyhit May 23 2009, 23:06:43 UTC

and thank you for such wonderful feedback!

i particularly love hearing this: I was earmarking lines as I went along, then realized I'd probably have this huge post of pasted lines. --because i do this to all the fics i'm really enjoying. lovely to hear.

hummingfly67 May 29 2009, 22:26:46 UTC

I'm always worried my feedback sucks, lol.

I tend to earmark lines in fics I really like. And I did really like this.

Okay to add as friend?

amyhit May 29 2009, 22:35:27 UTC

absolutely.

rollsofrice May 24 2009, 01:42:33 UTC

There are so many things I love about this: the antinomies you've chosen (e.e. cummings and Dr. Seuss, who could choose between those?), the Scullyvision glasses, and the way you weave humor with the darker bits.

I love the longer paragraphs between the dialogue, fraught with wonderful little phrases and words. I especially like this one--'All for doors are power-locked and they're breathing together'-- but I couldn't give a real reason if asked. It just feels right, fantastic, words clicking into perfect order.

amyhit May 24 2009, 02:14:23 UTC

thank you! and thank you for giving me a shout out in your journal too. i saw that and was kind of proud, in that small, 'i probably should go try being proud of something else now,' kind of way.

I especially like this one--'All for doors are power-locked and they're breathing together'-- but I couldn't give a real reason if asked.

i've been wanting to use 'conspiracy' as it relates to them for ages. i have this slight obsession - as i suspect you might - with words and their connotative and denotative meanings. (tree kicks ass on that front too). anyway it always struck me as odd that TXF is a show that's all about 'Conspiracy' in the largest, most connotative sense of the word, when really, Mulder and Scully are the ones doing the most conspiring in the sense that conspire literally stems from 'con'- "with", and 'spire'- "breath". "breath together" essentially. how damn sensual is that!

rollsofrice May 24 2009, 02:35:22 UTC

You're right-- I do have a 'slight obsession' with the meanings of words in relation to etymological structure and their stems. I must say the use of 'conspiracy' there is completely apt and now that I'm made aware of the intention with which you used it... god, it just blows me away. I love it. tree is wonderful with the connotative/ denotative, if 'instructions' is anything to go by.

recycledstars May 24 2009, 05:37:20 UTC

I was incredibly sad when this was over. It was the most enjoyable thing I've read in weeks.

amyhit May 24 2009, 21:52:58 UTC

wow. thank you!

(The comment has been removed)

amyhit May 24 2009, 21:55:52 UTC

they're brains are things of beauty. in fact, i don't think my brain is capable of fully appreciating their brains, yet. *grin*

very appropriate icon. glad you enjoyed this! and thanks for the comment.

mushfromnewsies May 26 2009, 10:31:24 UTC

This is so fantastic! I found it on somebody's delicious -- do you have a fic journal? I don't want to miss what you post in the future.

I loved this so much. The premise is so entertaining, and the banter and dialogue in general is both clever *and* in-character, I felt Mulder and Scully there the whole time. Most of the author's notes at the end I didn't need, not because I knew all the various things, but because they were mostly clear from the context, which was good.

A few things:

Whenever he’s played this before he’s always made up the rules as he went along.

haha yay! This is totally how I play.

“Or in Go Dog Go there was that female dog who kept asking the male dog if he liked her hat, remember?”

I love Go, Dog, Go! And I love that you know it! Not totally relevant, because it's commonly thought to be by Dr. Seuss, but it was actually written by somebody else, imitating his style. (It's by P.D. Eastman, along with my other favorite of this type, Are You My Mother?)

They had a rousing debate over the merits of equines ( ... )

mushfromnewsies May 26 2009, 10:34:22 UTC

Okay, so I hope you don't mind, but I have a few corrections and constructive criticism. The only reason I noticed this stuff was because I was reading it so slowly, savoring things; I don't mean to be annoying! First minor editing:

Taking that into account, Patrick Batman has uncharacteristic stamina.’

*Bateman -- hahah, I like the inadvertent pun though, what with Christian Bale being Batman and everything. :D

One day she may catch on, though, and it sickens him to think of.

I could be wrong, but I feel like "think of" needs an "it" at the end?

‘Aren’t you done that thing yet?’ she said.

*with that thing

‘I saw the best minds of my time destroyed by madness,’I think "time" is "generations" -- I looked it up on Google cause I wasn't sure ( ... )

Thanks for the tips! amyhit May 26 2009, 23:37:02 UTC

I think "time" is "generations"

i can't believe i misquoted that. i know that. good catch. leaving out the line about hyacinths in the eliot quotation was on purpose though. either mulder parsed it down consciously (making it more casual) or he just forgot the line. it was a shame, for me, to cut that bit, because i love the line about the hyacinths - and then the next line after i ended the quote, which is in german, but translates to 'desolate and empty the sea'. i wanted to use both, but it would have been way too formal and passionate for something they would say to each other, i think.

I lost track of Mulder's internal argument or "reasoning" here. Is the "anyway" Mulder thinking that he shouldn't share the crackers? Is the Alphaghetti bit part of that? I just got a bit confuzzled.i'm conflicted over this one. before i posted, i was actually worried that it might be a bit too jumbled, but then there was at least one person who said they really liked that part. i might change it. i'm thinking about it. thanks ( ... )

Re: Thanks for the tips! mushfromnewsies June 7 2009, 06:56:51 UTC

leaving out the line about hyacinths in the eliot quotation was on purpose though. either mulder parsed it down consciously (making it more casual) or he just forgot the line. ...i wanted to use both, but it would have been way too formal and passionate for something they would say to each other, i think.

okay, that was actually my first assumption when I read it, and I agree! you hit the tone just right by cutting that bit

mainly because i feel that she was trapped. when you can't leave a building because you'll be spotted by nazis and killed, i figure you're trapped. anything less than 'trapped' would feel like i was detracting from the monstrosity of the way Frank was victimized.This is really interesting to me! It's made me think about the different associations words can have and what a difference it makes. To me, "trapped," especially in this context, kind of obscures or distorts the Franks' story, because "trapped" seems somehow accidental. They were "forced," but I see their going into hiding as a deliberate action, a part ( ... )

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