The Manxome Foe We Sought - 2/2

[amyhit]

Title: The Manxome Foe We Sought
Author: amyhit
Summary: "You and your pretty partner look awfully close."
Rating: PG
Spoilers: for Pusher, also for Beyond the Sea and Grotesque.
Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Notes: Mulder, Scully, literature, discussion, banter, and waiting. Why yes, I did write Stakeout Fic, but really, consider it a massive

Comments

[mushfromnewsies]

This is so fantastic! I found it on somebody's delicious -- do you have a fic journal? I don't want to miss what you post in the future.

I loved this so much. The premise is so entertaining, and the banter and dialogue in general is both clever *and* in-character, I felt Mulder and Scully there the whole time. Most of the author's notes at the end I didn't need, not because I knew all the various things, but because they were mostly clear from the context, which was good.

A few things:

Whenever he’s played this before he’s always made up the rules as he went along.

haha yay! This is totally how I play.

“Or in Go Dog Go there was that female dog who kept asking the male dog if he liked her hat, remember?”

I love Go, Dog, Go! And I love that you know it! Not totally relevant, because it's commonly thought to be by Dr. Seuss, but it was actually written by somebody else, imitating his style. (It's by P.D. Eastman, along with my other favorite of this type, Are You My Mother?)

They had a rousing debate over the merits of equines

[mushfromnewsies]

Okay, so I hope you don't mind, but I have a few corrections and constructive criticism. The only reason I noticed this stuff was because I was reading it so slowly, savoring things; I don't mean to be annoying! First minor editing:

Taking that into account, Patrick Batman has uncharacteristic stamina.’

*Bateman -- hahah, I like the inadvertent pun though, what with Christian Bale being Batman and everything. :D

One day she may catch on, though, and it sickens him to think of.

I could be wrong, but I feel like "think of" needs an "it" at the end?

‘Aren’t you done that thing yet?’ she said.

*with that thing

‘I saw the best minds of my time destroyed by madness,’I think "time" is "generations" -- I looked it up on Google cause I wasn't sure

Thanks for the tips!

[amyhit]

I think "time" is "generations"

i can't believe i misquoted that. i know that. good catch. leaving out the line about hyacinths in the eliot quotation was on purpose though. either mulder parsed it down consciously (making it more casual) or he just forgot the line. it was a shame, for me, to cut that bit, because i love the line about the hyacinths - and then the next line after i ended the quote, which is in german, but translates to 'desolate and empty the sea'. i wanted to use both, but it would have been way too formal and passionate for something they would say to each other, i think.

I lost track of Mulder's internal argument or "reasoning" here. Is the "anyway" Mulder thinking that he shouldn't share the crackers? Is the Alphaghetti bit part of that? I just got a bit confuzzled.i'm conflicted over this one. before i posted, i was actually worried that it might be a bit too jumbled, but then there was at least one person who said they really liked that part. i might change it. i'm thinking about it. thanks

Re: Thanks for the tips!

[mushfromnewsies]

leaving out the line about hyacinths in the eliot quotation was on purpose though. either mulder parsed it down consciously (making it more casual) or he just forgot the line. ...i wanted to use both, but it would have been way too formal and passionate for something they would say to each other, i think.

okay, that was actually my first assumption when I read it, and I agree! you hit the tone just right by cutting that bit

mainly because i feel that she was trapped. when you can't leave a building because you'll be spotted by nazis and killed, i figure you're trapped. anything less than 'trapped' would feel like i was detracting from the monstrosity of the way Frank was victimized.This is really interesting to me! It's made me think about the different associations words can have and what a difference it makes. To me, "trapped," especially in this context, kind of obscures or distorts the Franks' story, because "trapped" seems somehow accidental. They were "forced," but I see their going into hiding as a deliberate action, a part

[mushfromnewsies]

ETA: Oh, I forgot to say, the paragraphs beginning with the line, He thinks of circles, of symbols, and adventure and ending with he makes believe they are going to ask them all, have some of the most beautiful lines I've read in fic, period. And really, that whole section, and the parts after it where you write about them locked in the car with the breath from their bodies on the windows, and the whole on-going sweep about "the ally" and Mulder believing humans are ultimately inadequate but loving stories where the inadequate are somehow enough -- I couldn't love it more. I'm going to have to reread it all in the morning. This in particular: He has seen saucers in the sky. They have blinded him, stupefied him, and ultimately passed him over. He is earthbound, cripplingly so, and he hopes for more than he knows how to ask for, or believe in.

I will stop talking, now.

[amyhit]

do you have a fic journal? I don't want to miss what you post in the future.

i don't. i don't really write enough to need one, usually. you're welcome to add me, if you'd like. i know you did once before. *g* but i fully intend to post all my fic to the xfilesfanfic community too, so it should show up there.

Most of the author's notes at the end I didn't need, not because I knew all the various things, but because they were mostly clear from the context

i'm so glad. it's the outside stuff that made me feel a bit bonkers for writing it all in. the fact that it doesn't produce a WTF? response is a relief.

It's by P.D. Eastman

crap! you're right.

in regards to curling one's toes to aid circulation - i'm really not sure. but yeah, if mulder was leaning that close to me in a secluded vehicle, my toes would be curling. as you surmised: poor scully just needs a little rationality to go with her emotional responses. *g*

hahahaha, this is exactly *my* Scully!well, good! i kind of think 'my' scully is a bit of all the things in this fic