I am so happy without children.... like it was certainly the right choice for me. Sailor and I regularly give high-gives to each other and say, "Thanks for not having children with me!" or "I love not having children with you!"
Oh yeah for sure. This was a big part of the decision for me. I just couldn’t imagine looking at a baby/toddler/child and all the chaos they bring, a whole separate human with all their lives ahead of them, and thinking “my life would have been so much better if I had not…” That seemed so terrible.
Also, I am the kind of person to whom people often speak quite openly, so even from my 20’s I knew a fair number of parents who admitted they felt that way themselves. I didn’t want what they had and were experiencing.
I think that's very true! I've read stories about people who regret having children and it's so sad. And I think that the kids can usually tell if the parents resent them, so it's an issue that reverberates down the generations.
I'm pretty much past the point where I could have kids now and absolutely zero regrets! I never had an interest in any part of childbearing/rearing. I feel very lucky to live in an era with birth control and the option to choose to be childfree.
ok the other voice husband and i married both 30 Husband wanted child i was EH said to be married a year then decide
i was never a woman who was "not complete without a child" but i decided yes it was something i could do and stopped the pill being pregnant - no problem stopped work on Friday had baby Sunday
a son with sever allergies difficult childhood i was a fierce mother because of his health we decided only one a good life for three i did a lot outside of "mother" stay at home mother was NOT me
now i'm "old" we live together not the "usual way things turn out" but it's us and we make life NO REGRETS
'it's better to regret something you did do than to regret something you didn't'
Yeah, I never got why that was meant to make sense. It's the kind of statement that sounds deep for about five seconds but crumbles under further analysis. Personally, some of the things I regret most I regret for the sake of other people who were affected. Relationships that I got into that I shouldn't have that ended badly. Sometimes I regret things I didn't do. Sometimes things that I did do. You just have to take it on a case by case basis as to which is worse.
Obviously in life there are many paths that we can take or not, and our feelings on our choices are complex. But i don't think snappy little phrases like this are supposed to become dogma. The purpose is not to trivialize the real world, but to be a tool you can apply to help move past indecision
( ... )
Comments 7
Reply
Also, I am the kind of person to whom people often speak quite openly, so even from my 20’s I knew a fair number of parents who admitted they felt that way themselves. I didn’t want what they had and were experiencing.
Reply
I'm pretty much past the point where I could have kids now and absolutely zero regrets! I never had an interest in any part of childbearing/rearing. I feel very lucky to live in an era with birth control and the option to choose to be childfree.
Reply
husband and i married both 30
Husband wanted child i was EH
said to be married a year then decide
i was never a woman who was "not complete without a child"
but i decided yes it was something i could do
and stopped the pill
being pregnant - no problem
stopped work on Friday had baby Sunday
a son with sever allergies difficult childhood
i was a fierce mother
because of his health we decided only one
a good life for three
i did a lot outside of "mother"
stay at home mother was NOT me
now i'm "old" we live together
not the "usual way things turn out"
but it's us and we make life
NO REGRETS
Reply
Yeah, I never got why that was meant to make sense. It's the kind of statement that sounds deep for about five seconds but crumbles under further analysis.
Personally, some of the things I regret most I regret for the sake of other people who were affected. Relationships that I got into that I shouldn't have that ended badly.
Sometimes I regret things I didn't do. Sometimes things that I did do. You just have to take it on a case by case basis as to which is worse.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment