trying to get out

[amw]

The past few months i haven't been feeling great. Work is fine, but it takes up a huge amount of my energy and it utterly exhausts me. I have been drinking a lot more alcohol than i would like to be drinking, and i notice i'm gaining weight as a result, and that just makes me feel even more unhappy, which leads to more drinking. The weird itchy,

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[notte0]

That coffee shop place reminded me of a street stall at Kenting 墾丁. It was those night market stalls but it being Kenting so it was like a beachside stall. Specialty Jewellery by artist, and I have never met a more rude person in Taiwan. I was looking at a pair of earrings and wanted to pick them up to see better (beachside night time can’t see much), and the guy was like “don’t touch that.” I said I wanted to see and he said “only touch it if you will buy it.” Then I asked how much it was, he said “if you like it you don’t need to know the price.”

It was like talking to a wall in riddles. Heck, if you don’t want to do business then don’t open up a stall, man!

[amw]

How weird! I get that shopkeepers might be wary of thieves or vandals or whatever, but it just seems so off to me that you'd proactively give up on a potential customer just because of some kind of surface assessment. It seems to me that if you want to serve an exclusive clientele, you should have a bouncer to stop the undesirables from even entering (see: golf courses, fine dining etc), or keep a low profile and only advertize directly to those you deem fit. Save everyone's disappointment that way.

[olamina]

I am glad to hear you had the opportunity to hang out with someone. I sometimes worry about how isolated you are, not so much for you but because I feel like you are a really dynamic person that so many people would benefit from being around and knowing.

I know the Laos trip is not really your ideal style of travel, but I do hope you will consider going. I am sure your old-landlord would be so very overjoyed to spend time with you again!

[amw]

I sort of hope that i make some kind of impact on the world like ripples from a skipping stone. Stuff i said to someone gets retold, maybe with embellishments that make it more interesting, or more tailored to the audience, and so it goes, the light touches of my appearance here and there spreading out and helping form the waves, the tides, the current of all of us. I mean, you gotta assume something like that is happening, since society wouldn't exist at all if we actually were all sequestered in our own disconnected bubbles.

[victorgreywolf]

What you described with the pimples, it could be an allergic reaction to alcohol.

[amw]

The trouble is, i've been drinking alcohol for 20+ years but i've only had these skin issues for 7-8 months now. I haven't changed anything in my diet or my clothing. I've been in several different countries over that time and it didn't improve in hot weather, cold weather, humid weather, dry weather. That's what makes me think it is some kind of infection the doctors haven't found yet.

[geminiwench]

It's wild how unhappiness feeds into more unhappiness.... and makes it hard to do the things that DO make you happy... with weird thoughts like, "Meh... I don't even really want to do that, anyways. This current state of bland unhappiness is probably just fine...."

But also that it is easy to forget how happiness... takes work.
It doesn't just happen.
It's a choice to do the things... that make you happy.