try to slip past his defense without granting innocence

[autophoenix]

A couple weeks had passed quietly for Claire since her less-than-venomous conversation with Edward. Between studying, juggling Jessica and Mike and the drama between them, and dealing with the secret that continued to grow increasingly complicated to keep, it was mostly a blur. A really unpleasant, cold and rainy blur

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[autophoenix]

She climbed compliantly into the back of the ambulance and sat in silence while they rode to the hospital, her stomach flopping between something light and relieved that she'd finally found someone who was like her -- who she could talk to and who could understand what it was like to hide all the time like this -- and frustration with the fact that he'd thrown her under the metaphorical van after saving her from the literal one -- trying to, anyway -- and expected her to just trust him off the bat like that.

Shouldn't he know better than anyone how much it was asking to just expect trust? With what they had to go through every day? Even now, in the company of someone who she was trying her hardest to have faith in, her eyes were trained with begrudging suspicion on the third party EMTs who were just trying to be helpful. Her mind continued to race as she offered up her wrists and bicep for basic vital tests. She even managed to keep a straight face when they slipped the stethoscope under her shirt, because she was too

[hotterthanzeus]

Carlisle chuckled coolly at that observation, a dismissive compliment instantly ready to try and smooth things over further: "I think she's definitely learned a lesson today, if anything. A sharp girl like that will be sure to be on her guard from now on."

He did, however, also catch that other tone, which was a bit more difficult to address. And probably better to leave unspoken entirely. He gestured up ahead towards where Nurse Nancy was seated at the desk. "If you'd like to fill out the last paperwork with Nancy there, we can send you both on your way."

[likealocalgod]

He knew he should be waiting in Carlisle's office, like he'd said, but he wanted to get a clearer read on Claire's father's thoughts, which involved getting a bit closer. Hence why Edward was standing to the side in one of the hallways branching off from the main walk, arms folded, watching the tiles on the floor as he attempted to glean what further information he might about the mystery of Claire Butler.

Her father was outraged. That much was obvious even without mind reading capabilities. He was impressed, as usual, with Carlisle's easy way of dealing with it, dispersing the anger with a gentle word wherever he could to try and keep it from boiling over.

It'd be easier for Claire that way, he hoped.

He didn't realize that he was actually hearing Claire until it was too late, so caught up was he in thinking about her. He attempted to take a step out of his obvious spot in the hallway, into the arch of a doorway, but didn't dare move with vampiric speed. Too much people observing him here - too many cameras and nurses walking

[autophoenix]

Unfortunately, Claire had spent enough time avoiding the kinds of people who lurked around corners to try and stay hidden that she'd gotten pretty decent at spotting them. So, when she came out of the room with her shoes slipped back on and wearing some clothes that didn't allow for chilly, uncomfortable breezes due to a seriously absent back, she started at the sight of Edward.

He'd stayed? It had her mind freezing up a little bit from the sheer surprise, sufficiently distracting her from the worry about her dad. Her expression creased in confusion as she watched him duck into the arch of a doorway, like he was trying to keep her from noticing.

So, not only did he stay, but he didn't stay just to get the credit for it. That was enough to embolden Claire to head over to him. She stepped right up to the doorway, then glanced around, then pushed him lightly so that he'd head further inside the empty examination room that it belonged to. She followed him in, because lord knew she didn't want anyone else hearing what she was

[likealocalgod]

Suddenly, Claire was not just noticing him, but cornering him, so close that the heat of her seemed a tangible sort of thing. And then she drove him into the little room, that had, of course, no windows.

The scent struck him as powerfully as it ever had. He tensed slightly under her scrutiny, as his imagination ran wildly through him. A crack of bones, a river of blood, a satiation he hadn't experienced in years and...

And her apology acted as an appropriate slap out of that mindset. It was as surprising as anything else he'd experienced with her - even seeing her heal from the sort of injuries she'd sustained. It was even more surprising because of how sincere she was about it - her thoughts made that entirely clear.

He was entirely torn.

He knew what he should do here. Push her apology away. Her secret was safe now, but Edward was the keeper of it. It gave him power in this situation that he would need to exercise, if he meant to drive her away from uncovering his secret

[autophoenix]

"If I don't -- " Her tone took a turn for the confused and she slowly shook her head. "I don't care. I don't care about any of that, they can wonder all they want." He was being distant again. It was like there were two Edward Cullens. One who was nice, friendly, who she could talk to and get along with, one who saved her life through the kind of feat of strength that no regular person could manage. And then there was the Edward standing in front of her now. Cold. Hard. Distant. Like there was some invisible forcefield that she had to penetrate just to talk to him, let alone get more than one word answers. The Edward that she was so sure hated her from that very first day

[likealocalgod]

Edward really shouldn't have been surprised in the least that she wasn't going to make this easy for him. When had she made anything 'easy' for him since the very first day she arrived here? There was something about her very presence that made her seem to practically exist for the mere sake of making things difficult for him.

But if she thought she was going to be able to needle him into a conversation with sheer stubbornness, she'd have to learn the hard way what dealing with someone with patience born of a century of hiding and lying was like.

"What's there to say?" he asked, his words cutting through the air as sharply as he could make them, void of emotion. "There's nothing to talk about." He raised his eyebrows at her as if he were talking to a particularly slow child. "You want this incident forgotten," he reminded her, "consider it forgotten." With a nonchalant shrug, he moved towards her again as if to slide past. There was a veiled threat in his sentence - if she continued to push, he might make what had

[autophoenix]

When he bumped past her, she looked shellshocked by the words. It was baffling every time. By now she thought she'd be used to dealing with whatever split personality problems he had, because she'd seen it before, but this hurt worse. She'd thought they were friends, or at least getting there. They got along. He'd been nice. He liked her enough to save her life when he could have been risking his own, and yet now he was pushing her away -- pretty much literally.

The only person here who had any idea who she really was and he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. The only person who she'd ever met besides her own family members who could even do something similar. What kind of freak was she that even people like her couldn't stand to be around her?

She didn't allow herself to wallow in that self-pity for long. The teenage insecurities got bit back and she turned quickly to grab his arm.

"Edward, we can't just pretend it never happened." The look in her eyes was pleading. Begging him not to tell anyone, but to

[likealocalgod]

He paused for a moment when she grabbed his arm, keeping his back to her so he wouldn't have to look at her expression. That didn't really help when he could still read her thoughts, and hear every bit of hurt she was feeling, but it would at least keep him from betraying his own thoughts with his eyes, as he recomposed himself.

"And why not? That seems the safer route for everyone." He spared her hand a glance, as if to burn her grip loose with his eyeballs. "Let's just forget this ever occurred and move on."

But the more she thought about it, the more his own curiosity over Claire rankled at him. She was willing to open up to him about the truth. But what was he supposed to say in return? He couldn't offer her the truth - that was out of the question. She thought she was ready to know, but she was dealing with an entirely different ballpark. He could lie to her about his abilities but that seemed like an even deeper betrayal, given how much she was aching to trust him. He couldn't do that to her.

He wasn't sure

[autophoenix]

"Because I don't care about safe. And considering you were a split second from getting between me and an out-of-control minivan, I didn't think you did either. What is going on with you?" She dropped her hand from his arm -- she couldn't maintain the contact, not with the cold look he gave her. She was stubborn and she was relentless, but she could do that with words. She didn't need to earn herself that loathsome look.

"I can't just forget. I can't just -- just walk away from this." The persistence and indignation seemed to drain out of her, leaving what was just a deflated look of saddened, vulnerable desperation. She shook her head, unable to understand, and pleaded. "Please. Just talk to me."

[likealocalgod]

He needed to say something to shut her down completely, to make certain she didn't pursue this line of thinking later. He had to make her certain that she wouldn't get anything else out of him.

Instead, what came out of his mouth was: "This is hardly the place to do that." The look that accompanied the words was hard at least, but that was the opposite message he wanted to get across. Angry at himself, he turned again, marching down the hall swiftly.

[autophoenix]

She had to make herself harder to shake than that -- and, of course, it helped that Edward was heading down the same hallway she needed to use to get to where her father was filling out discharge paperwork for her. She pursued him relentlessly, hot on his heels as she hurried down the cold hallway, tennis shoes squeaking.

"Then, we'll find a different place. After school, or -- Or something! Just tell me that we will talk about it." She slipped her hand into his, trying to pull him to a stop. A chill ran over her skin and she jerked her hand back, stopping in the hallway and giving him a confused look. He was freezing. But, that wasn't the point. She shook her head to dismiss it and move on.

"Please," she added. "You're the only person I can talk to."

[likealocalgod]

Edward jerked his hand away from hers so suddenly that she probably got the entirely wrong impression. But he couldn't help it - he knew how electric and warm and living her hand felt to him, and could only imagine how inhuman and wrong his must have felt against her skin. He was glad she dismissed it quickly in her mind, at least, and didn't want to press that particular issue, so he just shook his head vehemently, continuing to walk briskly.

"That isn't a good idea," he said, an attempt at damage recovery, but still twisted away from what he should say, by that ridiculous compulsion he was suffering from that he owed her some granule of the truth, because of what they knew about each other.

He had to keep a clearer head than that. But his words ran away from him. "I'm not a good person to..." spend time with, lest I try and maul you in dark corners? Oh yes, that one would go over swimmingly.

"Be around," he finished, satisfied.

[autophoenix]

It wasn't a full-out rejection. And as long as it wasn't, she couldn't let herself give up hope. She had to latch onto what she had left, because it was the most positive, good thing that she'd had in her life since getting to Forks. She needed it -- she needed him. And the honesty that could come with.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." There was stubbornness in her tone, and a kind of disbelief. The way he tried to deflect her it was like he thought she would be in some kind of danger. Like he was bad news -- but, she knew the opposite. He'd saved her. He couldn't be that bad.

Although, to some degree, she could relate. She could remember more than one occasion on which she'd felt like just her being around people magnetized horrible, traumatizing things. On the worse days, she blamed herself for what happened to Jackie. Maybe that was what Edward was feeling now.

[likealocalgod]

♪ Alright, well that attempt at deflection was a miserable failure. Now she just felt more connection to him, rather than afraid of him. How was he supposed to communicate this without alienating her to a point where she might say something to someone else? That would be the kiss of death, and while he'd like to think that her fear of him spilling her secret would be enough to keep her silence intact, her romanticism of the situation into her head into one of noble guilt was dangerous.

"You shouldn't," he said sharply, speaking in a low tone, eyes kept dead ahead, although he could see the nurses they passed by giving him strange looks, and hear their thoughts of concern over how angry he looked. This girl, he thought with a scowl, why was it so hard to keep a lid on his emotions around her

[autophoenix]

A huff of desperation slipped out of her lips at that and she forced herself in front of him, trying to make him look at her. If he wouldn't stop, she'd try to make him. If he wouldn't listen, she'd keep talking. She couldn't leave it like this. He could pretend to hate her when she barely knew him, she could get over that. But, this? This was something she couldn't just walk away from. And the fact that he was pretending he didn't understand --

"I can't." She confessed, eyes searching his. "And you can't either, I know you can't. You have to feel this too." Her voice quieted a little, desperate. "You have to." She didn't want to acknowledge that maybe he really didn't -- how could she? She'd spent so long wanting to know she wasn't just some freak, that someone was like her, and now that she had -- He had to know what that felt like. Wanting to meet someone, anyone, who was like her. Even remotely.

"I don't care if I shouldn't. Whatever it is, I can take it. Edward, you saw--" Her voice hushed and she cut