Real life: Social anxiety at work

[amothea]

Okay this is my first post about my life that I've made in a while. I'm making this post in hopes that maybe someone would have advice on how to overcome what I'm going through, or if not that, at least writing out the problem may help me clarify what I'm feeling/thinking

Comments

[tafkarfanfic]

I don't know how to help on this, because I had the same switch flip in my own head a couple of years ago. If you figure anything out, can you let me know?

[amothea]

Oh man, if I find a solution I will let you know. Though I suppose it is good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

[gekizetsu]

If it's any consolation, I have often felt the same. It's as if you've lost your ability to gauge how you've really affected someone. You've been yourself, and said what you (tried to mean) meant to say. But you're not really sure how it landed; did you bother them/offend them/trigger them/oh shit how will I ever know

[amothea]

In my case, the anxiety results from my worry as to whether anything I have said (because I'm often stupidly, accidentally honest/bumblingly dumb) could be used as leverage of some kind in the future...or whether I've caused a misunderstanding in someone who can't/won't react until some later point.

It could be that this is part of my concern too. I'm rather honest and sometimes/okay often speak without thinking (I'm working on it!).

It's just weird when I go the whole day not speaking to any co-workers. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to go and say hi, or stay in my office and work (which is what I tend to do if I don't know what to do) It's just no one really comes to chat and I see other people going to visit other people. My boss says she'll let me know if I say something wrong or am not meeting expectations so maybe I should take her at face value...Easier said than done some days.

[moorspede]

I suffered from agoraphobia when I was a teenager, I worked out that they were based on a traumatising event coupled with low self-esteem. It just seemed to get worse until I made the decision that I couldn't live this way and began to force myself to leave my place. What I can say is that it was a kind of blip that I was able to fix by relaxation exercises, improving my self- esteem, and by not being so critical of myself.

I found this, I hope it helps.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_types_symptoms_treatment.htm

[amothea]

I think I need to be kinder to myself too. Hugs.

[wendy]

No advice, but tons of sympathy -- I actually think this is quite common, just most people don't admit it.

[topaz119]

If it helps, I noticed that you said you were ostracized at a previous job--no wonder you feel anxiety now! One of my kids has pretty crippling anxiety issues and what helps with him is to acknowledge the feeling, accept that there is a reason for it (even if he/we don't know exactly why) and remind him not to beat himself up for feeling that way, and celebrate his steps out of it.

[amothea]

That's not bad advice. :) I think my previous bad job really did a number on me and I hadn't realized how much of one until I'd left and enough time had passed. Sorry your kid is having anxiety problems too. Hugs.