Aiba-chan's Recomen! Arashi Remix 07.03.2009 [TRANSLATIONS]
I think I'm finally feeling better. Summer flu is the worst. >.> But Aiba-chan is a wonderful medicine. :) Here's another Recomen! full of Aiba-chan moments. Did I mention there's NinoAi in this? Because there is. And it's so cute. <3 They are one of my favorite pairings!
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from "amnosxmatsujun@LJ" that Aiba-chan..."] *new
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen!:
# Proof that Aiba-chan is one of the nicest people in the world happens in the first 3 minutes of this program. :)
# What did Aiba-chan get Nino for his birthday?
# Aiba-chan keeps pervy Chika-san in check!
# Can you name all of the Arashi singles in order? ;)
This particular Recomen! can he found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: ysy2021 :D
A=Aiba-chan
C=Chika-san
A: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi? Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi. We’re already in July. It’s only a bit more until summer, it seems.
C: There are days that surpass 30 degrees Celsius (*note: roughly mid-80s Fahrenheit).
A: Let’s start with the usual.
C: Okay.
A: Come on!
C: Here we go! This is…
A: Chika-san…
C: A personality test from Niigata, radio pen name Fukazume (*Ingrown toenail).
A: Thank you.
C: “You went to a restaurant to have a bite to eat. But the server’s attitude maddens you a bit. How was the server treating you?”
A: I actually have an instance when I did get a bit frustrated about this.
C: Oh, you do?
A: I went for lunch, and the place was like a sports bar. Well, during the day, it’s a café, at night, it’s a bar. There was a sports program on TV, and the screen was gigantic. So I went in to eat, and when I tried to place my order, no one would serve me. There was only one server around. But the place was open, so I called to her, saying, “Excuse me, excuse me!” She finally came over; she was a young woman. I asked her if I could see a menu, and when she arrived with one, I was scanning through it. I said, “Could I take an order of this carbonara?” But she goes, “Hm… we’re all out of carbonara.” So I changed my order to a hamburger. But she goes, “I’m sorry, we’re also out of that today.” I thought something was fishy, I mean, the way she took her time to answer me. So then, I… what did I say next? I ordered gratin because I don’t usually get to eat that in restaurants. But she goes, “Uh, we don’t have that, either.” I knew something was up, so I asked, “Then what do you have”? And she replies, “Oh… well, in that case, we have the carbonara.” [laugh] They didn’t have it a moment ago, but now she’s saying, “in that case”. So I got kind of pissed. I said, “Hey, wait a second. It’s because you’re doing this by yourself, right? You don’t want the hassle of cooking.” She then apologizes and says that she’ll make me carbonara and bring it out right away. She was young, maybe in her teens. At the end, and the dish was delicious, I paid the check, but I was still looking a bit frustrated. So she says, “Aiba-san, please keep up the great work.” I didn’t know what to do after that! It broke my heart. So I’ve decided to not get angry at restaurants anymore.
C: Ah. And if you could sum up that server’s attitude in one breath?
A: Well, I’ve already took up time, so want to begin?
C: Shall we begin?
A: [laugh] What? The listeners might be taking this personality quiz, so tell us the results anyway.
C: Sure. “What you can figure out from this test is ‘the trait you need to be wary about in yourself’.”
A: Well, then, let’s begin. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunkahousou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first song for the evening. This was released on July 1st, our 27th, a new single. Please listen to Arashi’s “Everything”.
[Arashi - “Everything”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: checkmate! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! A-1GP Saikyou kettei-sen! (*The Craziest of the Craziest Play-offs! The “A” stands for “Aiba”, and GP stands for “grand prix”) In this segment, we’ll introduce the “craziest of the craziest” stories you’ve sent in. We’ve got plenty to read for you this week as well, so let’s get started. This one’s crazy. This is crazy. This is from radio pen name Rii-chan from Yamagata: “The other day, I heard from my high school calligraphy teacher that we have an alumnus named Maboroshi no ginji. (*Translates to “the phantom silver samurai”; such a name is extremely rare and rather embarrassing) He has a last name, too. Maboroshi no ginji is his first name.” I wonder if this is true.
C: His actual given name is Maboroshi no ginji?
A: It says he has a last name.
C: So if the last name was Aiba, the full name would be Aiba Maboroshi no ginji.
A: “The other teachers say the same, my classmates know of him, so it looks like he’s a real person. Also, there’s a name written as 金田一 (*Pronounced “kindaichi”, usually a last name; is also known widely from a manga called ‘Kindaichi Shounen’), but it’s read as Kaneda Hajime, and is a full name.”
C: That one’s pretty crazy, but nothing beats Maboroshi no ginji.
A: [laugh] Maboroshi no ginji… is it for real? Are you sure that people aren’t playing a prank on Rii-chan?
C: I bet that’s what she thought so she asked the other teachers, but they told her the same thing.
A: Mr. Aiba Maboroshi no ginji.
C: Right-o.
A: But it’s just so strange to have blah-blah-“no” in your name. [laugh] A name like something “no” something. That’s so awkward.
C: What about Ryunosuke?
A: [laugh] No, that’s only works as one name! It’s not Ryu no suke, right?
C: Right, that kind of usage of “no” is rare.
A: It is!
C: The usage of a modifier in a name in general…
A: A modifier, exactly. This is pretty crazy if it were actually true. Moving on. This is from radio pen name Tropical-san: “My friend is going out with her class teacher. Their age difference is 18 years, teacher and student. They don’t let age difference get in the way of their relationship. Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” Ah, ah, ah… This is like that drama. What was it called? Katei Kyoushi? (*Private teacher)
C: You mean Koukou Kyoushi? (*High School Teacher)
A: That, that, that! [laugh] Private teacher?! That sounds a bit suspicious. [laugh]
C: [laugh] A: They were showing reruns of this a bit back.
C: They were.
A: I watched it then. But I guess it happens in real life, too. What do you thnk?
C: Is she a high school student? 18 years, they only wrote in the age difference.
A: I would assume she’s either in high school or college.
C: But she calls him her “class teacher”, so they must be in middle or high school.
A: Ah, I see. So maybe middle school, elementary school, even.
C: Well, that…
A: [laugh] I guess not elementary school.
C: Yeah.
A: Probably high school. I bet so.
C: Yeah, I would think so. There are lots of stories though, of high school teachers getting married with one of his students.
A: What’s… that all about?
C: Well…
A: I wonder if they’re popular with the ladies. Did your high school teacher get ogled at? Were the girls screaming over him?
C: I bet these things take place in an all-girls high school.
A: I see! And he’s the teacher’s assistant. Oh, it doesn’t say that, though. Well, well.
C: Well, well.
A: [laugh] I guess these things happen. This can’t be known to the school, right? Or is it okay?
C: If it’s an innocent relationship…
A: It’s okay?
C: [laugh] A: I don’t quite understand what your definition of “innocent” versus “not-so-innocent” is, but if I let you go on, you’ll take off on inappropriate tangents, so I’m moving on. This is by radio pen name Eriko-chan from Tokyo: “Please listen in about my mom’s craziest story. When she was in high school, the distance between her front gate to the school was three steps.” [laugh] “There was a street that could only accommodate one car passing by, and that was between her house and the school. For three years (*Japanese high schools are three years long), she went to school from that house. If you ask my mom about it, she’ll complain that she didn’t get to make any detours and have fun at that age. However, if she forgot something, she’d just call over to the house and have someone bring forgotten items to the school, so that was convenient. Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” It is. Three steps.
C: Just three steps?! One car’s width.
A: Probably about the distance between you and me.
C: That’s true. That’s about one car.
A: Trucks won’t fit.
C: Well, I hope she looked both ways before she crossed the street.
A: Wouldn’t you dislike having your house so close? I wouldn’t. Well, I don’t know, what do you think? Would it be convenient?
C: I wouldn’t like it.
A: Right? Let me envision this. You could even wait for the bell to ring and you’d still make it. Maybe I like that it’s so close.
C: But if you were out all night, you’d bump into your teachers in the morning.
A: Hm? [laugh] How old was she back then? Oh, in high school. Hm… I don’t think she’d have gotten away with being out all night.
C: True.
A: Yeah, she wouldn’t do that. Moving on. This is by radio pen name Ayakacchi-san from Aichi: “I went to the dentist to check the alignment of my teeth. I took an x-ray of my teeth, and found that I have six wisdom teeth! A normal adult would have two on top, two on bottom, right and left sides. But I have two each on both my upper left and right side. I hadn’t heard of such thing, so I was surprised. Isn’t having six wisdom teeth ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” Crazy, but it’s possible, right?
C: Normally, counting the wisdom teeth, humans have 32 teeth. So does she mean she has 34 teeth, or that of the 32, six of them were wisdom teeth?
A: Hm…
C: 34 teeth is pretty crazy.
A: If she has 34 teeth, then she has two extra. But it could be 36. The number of teeth are quite similar between humans and other animals.
C: Oh, is that so?
A: Well, I don’t know.
C: Oh! But the number of vertebra in a human’s body is the same as a giraffe’s!
A: [laugh] C: One’s just longer than the other.
A: [laugh] Right, one’s just longer than the other.
C: Exactly. So the number of teeth may be the same.
A: Perhaps.
C: Maybe we have the same number of teeth as hippos.
A: [laugh] Even though they’re that large?
C: Each teeth is just larger.
A: They’re huge, but they have 32 of them. [laugh]
C: I wonder if they have wisdom teeth, too.
A: [laugh] And when they grow out, they’re like, “Ow, ow!” I don’t know about that, but other animals may have similar features. Not sure, though. Next up is from radio pen name in Aibaland daisuki-san from Ibaraki: “My house has 183 of those saran wrap cores. Not that we use them for anything, but they’re just lined up on top of the shelves in which we keep our china. Isn’t that a bit crazy? And for me to have counted all of them, aren’t I a crazy, bored person?” Hm, I wonder why they keep them.
C: I understand, though.
A: You do?
C: The cores of toilet papers are soft so they can be smashed, but the saran wrap cores are hard.
A: Yeah, yeah.
C: They probably think they can use it for something, I bet.
A: Yeah, but…
C: 183 of them. [laugh]
A: They could have noticed other uses before they hit 100.
C: [laugh] You don’t need that many.
A: Exactly. But to have them all lined up like that must be a masterpiece.
C: If you lined up a lot of them, I bet they can withstand a person standing on it.
A: Yeah, if they put a slab of wood on top. Maybe… this just could be.
C: Maybe they use it to make an extension to the house.
A: That’s eco-friendly. We need to live green lives these days. I’m actually one of those people who can’t do that.
C: Ah.
A: I throw away pretty much everything. They’re the exact opposite of me. Moving on to the last one. This is from radio pen name Aibakkusu-san from Niigata: “In Sazae-san (*a popular anime in Japan), there’s a line from the opening theme song that goes ‘Chasing after an alley cat that’s carrying a fish’. I thought I wouldn’t ever witness such things, but I did. When I went to go see my grandma in the countryside, it was really hot so I left the front door wide open since morning. All of a sudden, I heard my grandma screaming in the kitchen while she was making breakfast. To my disbelief, I saw a cat I’ve never seen before leave with a dry mackerel in his mouth and my grandma chasing after it. She was of course, barefooted. (*The next line of the theme song is ‘There she goes, chasing after it barefooted, a cheerful Sazae-san”) Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” It is.
C: It really happens.
A: [laugh] Barefooted. Now, the grandma… did she plan to eat the fish once she caught the cat?
C: I suppose so.
A: The cat already bit into it, so you could probably see its bite marks on the fish.
C: But if you cook it…
A: But [laugh] it’s probably been scraped on the ground a lot. The three-second rule won’t work at that point.
C: Yeah. I want to tell her to just give it up.
A: [laugh] Give up? I guess it became a fun game for the grandma. Like, “That cat ran away with it!”
C: Or she just wants to scold the cat.
A: Ah, and be like, “Bad cat!”
C: She may just want to give it a good scolding.
A: I wonder. I guess such scenarios exist. I want to see that. I wish I could have.
C: A grandma chasing after a cat, barefooted.
A: [laugh] That’s right; it’s exactly the same as Sazae-san. I guess it’s possible. Okay, then. If you have any “best of the worst” stories, please send them in. That was A-1GP Saikyou Kettei-sen.
A: After the kids have gone to bed, tune in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell me, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions that you’ve sent in! Ready? Here we go. This is from radio pen name Miko-san from Kumamoto: “I was watching Shimura Doubutsu-en and wondered if you ever come to Kumamoto for work. The other day, I saw you and Pan-kun do that sports competition. When I went on a drive to Aso, we drove by Cuddly Dominion (*a zoo). So I told my parents that you sometimes stop by here, but they answered, ‘Why would Arashi ever come to Kumamoto?’ and made fun of me. I wanted to know the truth, so I e-mailed you. If you’ve ever come to Kumamoto for work, please let me know what you had to eat here and your thoughts about this place.” Ah, I see. I have been to Kumamoto.
C: What does she mean by “drove by Cuddly”? What’s “Cuddly”?
A: It’s called Cuddly Dominion, and it’s a zoo.
C: Ooh!
A: She drove passed it, so that’s why she mentioned that I go there sometimes, but she was made fun of. But I’ve been there multiple times. I’ve been to Cuddly Dominion, and Kumamoto has lots of great food. Moving on. Next is by radio pen name Kazuna-san from Aomori: “June 17th was Nino’s birthday. Did you get him a present? Did you and the other members do anything for him? Let me know.” Ah. I gave Ninomiya-kun one of those… he had told me he wanted to tone his abs, so those belts that stimulate the abdominals.
C: So Nino’s been toning his abs thereafter?
A: I bet! [laugh] If he’s using it. What do you think of those? I’ve not used them really, so I don’t know, but you’d need a reason to use it.
C: You think, “I have to use it.”
A: For when you go to the beach in the summer and wear swimming trunks. How about your swimming trunks?
C: What’s the point in my describing my swimming trunks?
A: [laugh] It’s not like I want to know. [laugh]
C: The listeners don’t want to hear this, either!
A: [laugh] Seriously, today, you’re… [laugh] How funny! [laugh] You’re right; they don’t want to hear about it. No one does. Okay, next. This is from radio pen name [laugh] Bootaro-san from Hiroshima: “I thought about this the other day. When you fill out the ‘occupation’ line on a form, what do you write? I’m curious, so please let me know.”
C: You write ‘office employee’, right?
A: Who, Aiba-kun?
C: You said before…
A: I used to write ‘office employee’, but was it today? Tomorrow? I have to fill out something like that, but I’m wondering what to write on that line. So I want to decide tonight. Am I really an office employee?
C: Well, you’re self-employed. You know…
A: Can’t I just write down what I am?
C: You sell dreams, that’s what you do. [laugh]
A: [laugh] You’re so cheesy, you know? I can’t write that down for myself. I can’t write down ‘TV personality’, right?
C: Yeah.
A: So we didn’t come to a conclusion today, once again. This is the recurring question. That was Tell Me, Aiba-chan! Please listen in now to Arashi’s “Season”.
[Arashi - “Season”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!. Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website. So time’s almost up. On July 1st, Arashi’s 27th single went on sale! “Everything” is the AU song.
C: Also…
A: Also?
C: On August 19th.
A: Oh? What’s on that date?
C: Arashi’s All the Best.
A: Wow!
C: Nineteen ninety-nine.
A: Right.
C: What is this? 1999-2009?
A: That’s right. You didn’t have to say ‘nineteen ninety-nine’. You didn’t need to show-off.
C: Okay. This contains all of Arashi’s single songs… yeah, all of them.
A: [laugh] Anything that’s considered A-side material.
C: Oh, this is before “Everything”.
A: That’s right.
C: Wait, can you say them all?
A: Of course!
C: Oh, really?
A: Of course!
C: Do you want to try saying them all?
A: If you ask me which single number is what song, I can say them.
C: Oh, then from the first single.
A: “A.RA.SHI”, right? Then “Sunrise Nippon”.
C: Right.
A: … And that’s about it.
C: [laugh]
A: This was Arashi! [laugh] Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Arashi’s Aiba Masaki. See you next week! Bye-bye!
Kind reminders:
+ My translations should NOT be used elsewhere without my consent. If you want to use my translations for something, please PM me and tell me how you intend to use them. Please respect this rule: 30-minute radio shows do take time to translate.
+ If you want to post about these translations somewhere (your own blog, forums, etc.), a link back to my page would be kindly appreciated. [ex: "I read in a Recomen translation from "amnosxmatsujun@LJ" that Aiba-chan..."] *new
+ If you enjoyed the translations, I'd love to hear from you! :) Comments are ♥♥
Highlights from this Recomen!:
# Proof that Aiba-chan is one of the nicest people in the world happens in the first 3 minutes of this program. :)
# What did Aiba-chan get Nino for his birthday?
# Aiba-chan keeps pervy Chika-san in check!
# Can you name all of the Arashi singles in order? ;)
This particular Recomen! can he found HERE @ MF. *audio credits: ysy2021 :D
A=Aiba-chan
C=Chika-san
A: Would you like to eat dinner first? Take a bath? Or… Arashi? Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening, I’m Aiba Masaki from Arashi. We’re already in July. It’s only a bit more until summer, it seems.
C: There are days that surpass 30 degrees Celsius (*note: roughly mid-80s Fahrenheit).
A: Let’s start with the usual.
C: Okay.
A: Come on!
C: Here we go! This is…
A: Chika-san…
C: A personality test from Niigata, radio pen name Fukazume (*Ingrown toenail).
A: Thank you.
C: “You went to a restaurant to have a bite to eat. But the server’s attitude maddens you a bit. How was the server treating you?”
A: I actually have an instance when I did get a bit frustrated about this.
C: Oh, you do?
A: I went for lunch, and the place was like a sports bar. Well, during the day, it’s a café, at night, it’s a bar. There was a sports program on TV, and the screen was gigantic. So I went in to eat, and when I tried to place my order, no one would serve me. There was only one server around. But the place was open, so I called to her, saying, “Excuse me, excuse me!” She finally came over; she was a young woman. I asked her if I could see a menu, and when she arrived with one, I was scanning through it. I said, “Could I take an order of this carbonara?” But she goes, “Hm… we’re all out of carbonara.” So I changed my order to a hamburger. But she goes, “I’m sorry, we’re also out of that today.” I thought something was fishy, I mean, the way she took her time to answer me. So then, I… what did I say next? I ordered gratin because I don’t usually get to eat that in restaurants. But she goes, “Uh, we don’t have that, either.” I knew something was up, so I asked, “Then what do you have”? And she replies, “Oh… well, in that case, we have the carbonara.” [laugh] They didn’t have it a moment ago, but now she’s saying, “in that case”. So I got kind of pissed. I said, “Hey, wait a second. It’s because you’re doing this by yourself, right? You don’t want the hassle of cooking.” She then apologizes and says that she’ll make me carbonara and bring it out right away. She was young, maybe in her teens. At the end, and the dish was delicious, I paid the check, but I was still looking a bit frustrated. So she says, “Aiba-san, please keep up the great work.” I didn’t know what to do after that! It broke my heart. So I’ve decided to not get angry at restaurants anymore.
C: Ah. And if you could sum up that server’s attitude in one breath?
A: Well, I’ve already took up time, so want to begin?
C: Shall we begin?
A: [laugh] What? The listeners might be taking this personality quiz, so tell us the results anyway.
C: Sure. “What you can figure out from this test is ‘the trait you need to be wary about in yourself’.”
A: Well, then, let’s begin. Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Good evening once again. This is Aiba Masaki from Arashi. This show is brought to you from Bunkahousou in Hamamatsu city and broadcasted nationwide. Without delay, here’s the first song for the evening. This was released on July 1st, our 27th, a new single. Please listen to Arashi’s “Everything”.
[Arashi - “Everything”]
A: Here’s a newsflash for your ears: checkmate! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! A-1GP Saikyou kettei-sen! (*The Craziest of the Craziest Play-offs! The “A” stands for “Aiba”, and GP stands for “grand prix”) In this segment, we’ll introduce the “craziest of the craziest” stories you’ve sent in. We’ve got plenty to read for you this week as well, so let’s get started. This one’s crazy. This is crazy. This is from radio pen name Rii-chan from Yamagata: “The other day, I heard from my high school calligraphy teacher that we have an alumnus named Maboroshi no ginji. (*Translates to “the phantom silver samurai”; such a name is extremely rare and rather embarrassing) He has a last name, too. Maboroshi no ginji is his first name.” I wonder if this is true.
C: His actual given name is Maboroshi no ginji?
A: It says he has a last name.
C: So if the last name was Aiba, the full name would be Aiba Maboroshi no ginji.
A: “The other teachers say the same, my classmates know of him, so it looks like he’s a real person. Also, there’s a name written as 金田一 (*Pronounced “kindaichi”, usually a last name; is also known widely from a manga called ‘Kindaichi Shounen’), but it’s read as Kaneda Hajime, and is a full name.”
C: That one’s pretty crazy, but nothing beats Maboroshi no ginji.
A: [laugh] Maboroshi no ginji… is it for real? Are you sure that people aren’t playing a prank on Rii-chan?
C: I bet that’s what she thought so she asked the other teachers, but they told her the same thing.
A: Mr. Aiba Maboroshi no ginji.
C: Right-o.
A: But it’s just so strange to have blah-blah-“no” in your name. [laugh] A name like something “no” something. That’s so awkward.
C: What about Ryunosuke?
A: [laugh] No, that’s only works as one name! It’s not Ryu no suke, right?
C: Right, that kind of usage of “no” is rare.
A: It is!
C: The usage of a modifier in a name in general…
A: A modifier, exactly. This is pretty crazy if it were actually true. Moving on. This is from radio pen name Tropical-san: “My friend is going out with her class teacher. Their age difference is 18 years, teacher and student. They don’t let age difference get in the way of their relationship. Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” Ah, ah, ah… This is like that drama. What was it called? Katei Kyoushi? (*Private teacher)
C: You mean Koukou Kyoushi? (*High School Teacher)
A: That, that, that! [laugh] Private teacher?! That sounds a bit suspicious. [laugh]
C: [laugh] A: They were showing reruns of this a bit back.
C: They were.
A: I watched it then. But I guess it happens in real life, too. What do you thnk?
C: Is she a high school student? 18 years, they only wrote in the age difference.
A: I would assume she’s either in high school or college.
C: But she calls him her “class teacher”, so they must be in middle or high school.
A: Ah, I see. So maybe middle school, elementary school, even.
C: Well, that…
A: [laugh] I guess not elementary school.
C: Yeah.
A: Probably high school. I bet so.
C: Yeah, I would think so. There are lots of stories though, of high school teachers getting married with one of his students.
A: What’s… that all about?
C: Well…
A: I wonder if they’re popular with the ladies. Did your high school teacher get ogled at? Were the girls screaming over him?
C: I bet these things take place in an all-girls high school.
A: I see! And he’s the teacher’s assistant. Oh, it doesn’t say that, though. Well, well.
C: Well, well.
A: [laugh] I guess these things happen. This can’t be known to the school, right? Or is it okay?
C: If it’s an innocent relationship…
A: It’s okay?
C: [laugh] A: I don’t quite understand what your definition of “innocent” versus “not-so-innocent” is, but if I let you go on, you’ll take off on inappropriate tangents, so I’m moving on. This is by radio pen name Eriko-chan from Tokyo: “Please listen in about my mom’s craziest story. When she was in high school, the distance between her front gate to the school was three steps.” [laugh] “There was a street that could only accommodate one car passing by, and that was between her house and the school. For three years (*Japanese high schools are three years long), she went to school from that house. If you ask my mom about it, she’ll complain that she didn’t get to make any detours and have fun at that age. However, if she forgot something, she’d just call over to the house and have someone bring forgotten items to the school, so that was convenient. Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” It is. Three steps.
C: Just three steps?! One car’s width.
A: Probably about the distance between you and me.
C: That’s true. That’s about one car.
A: Trucks won’t fit.
C: Well, I hope she looked both ways before she crossed the street.
A: Wouldn’t you dislike having your house so close? I wouldn’t. Well, I don’t know, what do you think? Would it be convenient?
C: I wouldn’t like it.
A: Right? Let me envision this. You could even wait for the bell to ring and you’d still make it. Maybe I like that it’s so close.
C: But if you were out all night, you’d bump into your teachers in the morning.
A: Hm? [laugh] How old was she back then? Oh, in high school. Hm… I don’t think she’d have gotten away with being out all night.
C: True.
A: Yeah, she wouldn’t do that. Moving on. This is by radio pen name Ayakacchi-san from Aichi: “I went to the dentist to check the alignment of my teeth. I took an x-ray of my teeth, and found that I have six wisdom teeth! A normal adult would have two on top, two on bottom, right and left sides. But I have two each on both my upper left and right side. I hadn’t heard of such thing, so I was surprised. Isn’t having six wisdom teeth ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” Crazy, but it’s possible, right?
C: Normally, counting the wisdom teeth, humans have 32 teeth. So does she mean she has 34 teeth, or that of the 32, six of them were wisdom teeth?
A: Hm…
C: 34 teeth is pretty crazy.
A: If she has 34 teeth, then she has two extra. But it could be 36. The number of teeth are quite similar between humans and other animals.
C: Oh, is that so?
A: Well, I don’t know.
C: Oh! But the number of vertebra in a human’s body is the same as a giraffe’s!
A: [laugh] C: One’s just longer than the other.
A: [laugh] Right, one’s just longer than the other.
C: Exactly. So the number of teeth may be the same.
A: Perhaps.
C: Maybe we have the same number of teeth as hippos.
A: [laugh] Even though they’re that large?
C: Each teeth is just larger.
A: They’re huge, but they have 32 of them. [laugh]
C: I wonder if they have wisdom teeth, too.
A: [laugh] And when they grow out, they’re like, “Ow, ow!” I don’t know about that, but other animals may have similar features. Not sure, though. Next up is from radio pen name in Aibaland daisuki-san from Ibaraki: “My house has 183 of those saran wrap cores. Not that we use them for anything, but they’re just lined up on top of the shelves in which we keep our china. Isn’t that a bit crazy? And for me to have counted all of them, aren’t I a crazy, bored person?” Hm, I wonder why they keep them.
C: I understand, though.
A: You do?
C: The cores of toilet papers are soft so they can be smashed, but the saran wrap cores are hard.
A: Yeah, yeah.
C: They probably think they can use it for something, I bet.
A: Yeah, but…
C: 183 of them. [laugh]
A: They could have noticed other uses before they hit 100.
C: [laugh] You don’t need that many.
A: Exactly. But to have them all lined up like that must be a masterpiece.
C: If you lined up a lot of them, I bet they can withstand a person standing on it.
A: Yeah, if they put a slab of wood on top. Maybe… this just could be.
C: Maybe they use it to make an extension to the house.
A: That’s eco-friendly. We need to live green lives these days. I’m actually one of those people who can’t do that.
C: Ah.
A: I throw away pretty much everything. They’re the exact opposite of me. Moving on to the last one. This is from radio pen name Aibakkusu-san from Niigata: “In Sazae-san (*a popular anime in Japan), there’s a line from the opening theme song that goes ‘Chasing after an alley cat that’s carrying a fish’. I thought I wouldn’t ever witness such things, but I did. When I went to go see my grandma in the countryside, it was really hot so I left the front door wide open since morning. All of a sudden, I heard my grandma screaming in the kitchen while she was making breakfast. To my disbelief, I saw a cat I’ve never seen before leave with a dry mackerel in his mouth and my grandma chasing after it. She was of course, barefooted. (*The next line of the theme song is ‘There she goes, chasing after it barefooted, a cheerful Sazae-san”) Isn’t this ‘the craziest of the craziest’?” It is.
C: It really happens.
A: [laugh] Barefooted. Now, the grandma… did she plan to eat the fish once she caught the cat?
C: I suppose so.
A: The cat already bit into it, so you could probably see its bite marks on the fish.
C: But if you cook it…
A: But [laugh] it’s probably been scraped on the ground a lot. The three-second rule won’t work at that point.
C: Yeah. I want to tell her to just give it up.
A: [laugh] Give up? I guess it became a fun game for the grandma. Like, “That cat ran away with it!”
C: Or she just wants to scold the cat.
A: Ah, and be like, “Bad cat!”
C: She may just want to give it a good scolding.
A: I wonder. I guess such scenarios exist. I want to see that. I wish I could have.
C: A grandma chasing after a cat, barefooted.
A: [laugh] That’s right; it’s exactly the same as Sazae-san. I guess it’s possible. Okay, then. If you have any “best of the worst” stories, please send them in. That was A-1GP Saikyou Kettei-sen.
A: After the kids have gone to bed, tune in quietly! Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix! Oshiete Aiba-chan! (*Tell me, Aiba-chan!) Here, I’ll answer questions that you’ve sent in! Ready? Here we go. This is from radio pen name Miko-san from Kumamoto: “I was watching Shimura Doubutsu-en and wondered if you ever come to Kumamoto for work. The other day, I saw you and Pan-kun do that sports competition. When I went on a drive to Aso, we drove by Cuddly Dominion (*a zoo). So I told my parents that you sometimes stop by here, but they answered, ‘Why would Arashi ever come to Kumamoto?’ and made fun of me. I wanted to know the truth, so I e-mailed you. If you’ve ever come to Kumamoto for work, please let me know what you had to eat here and your thoughts about this place.” Ah, I see. I have been to Kumamoto.
C: What does she mean by “drove by Cuddly”? What’s “Cuddly”?
A: It’s called Cuddly Dominion, and it’s a zoo.
C: Ooh!
A: She drove passed it, so that’s why she mentioned that I go there sometimes, but she was made fun of. But I’ve been there multiple times. I’ve been to Cuddly Dominion, and Kumamoto has lots of great food. Moving on. Next is by radio pen name Kazuna-san from Aomori: “June 17th was Nino’s birthday. Did you get him a present? Did you and the other members do anything for him? Let me know.” Ah. I gave Ninomiya-kun one of those… he had told me he wanted to tone his abs, so those belts that stimulate the abdominals.
C: So Nino’s been toning his abs thereafter?
A: I bet! [laugh] If he’s using it. What do you think of those? I’ve not used them really, so I don’t know, but you’d need a reason to use it.
C: You think, “I have to use it.”
A: For when you go to the beach in the summer and wear swimming trunks. How about your swimming trunks?
C: What’s the point in my describing my swimming trunks?
A: [laugh] It’s not like I want to know. [laugh]
C: The listeners don’t want to hear this, either!
A: [laugh] Seriously, today, you’re… [laugh] How funny! [laugh] You’re right; they don’t want to hear about it. No one does. Okay, next. This is from radio pen name [laugh] Bootaro-san from Hiroshima: “I thought about this the other day. When you fill out the ‘occupation’ line on a form, what do you write? I’m curious, so please let me know.”
C: You write ‘office employee’, right?
A: Who, Aiba-kun?
C: You said before…
A: I used to write ‘office employee’, but was it today? Tomorrow? I have to fill out something like that, but I’m wondering what to write on that line. So I want to decide tonight. Am I really an office employee?
C: Well, you’re self-employed. You know…
A: Can’t I just write down what I am?
C: You sell dreams, that’s what you do. [laugh]
A: [laugh] You’re so cheesy, you know? I can’t write that down for myself. I can’t write down ‘TV personality’, right?
C: Yeah.
A: So we didn’t come to a conclusion today, once again. This is the recurring question. That was Tell Me, Aiba-chan! Please listen in now to Arashi’s “Season”.
[Arashi - “Season”]
A: Send your postcards to Bunka Housou Arashi - Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix!. Zip code 105-8002. E-mail address: Arashi@joqr.net. Please put the name of the segment in the subject. You can also send us a message through the Bunka Housou website. So time’s almost up. On July 1st, Arashi’s 27th single went on sale! “Everything” is the AU song.
C: Also…
A: Also?
C: On August 19th.
A: Oh? What’s on that date?
C: Arashi’s All the Best.
A: Wow!
C: Nineteen ninety-nine.
A: Right.
C: What is this? 1999-2009?
A: That’s right. You didn’t have to say ‘nineteen ninety-nine’. You didn’t need to show-off.
C: Okay. This contains all of Arashi’s single songs… yeah, all of them.
A: [laugh] Anything that’s considered A-side material.
C: Oh, this is before “Everything”.
A: That’s right.
C: Wait, can you say them all?
A: Of course!
C: Oh, really?
A: Of course!
C: Do you want to try saying them all?
A: If you ask me which single number is what song, I can say them.
C: Oh, then from the first single.
A: “A.RA.SHI”, right? Then “Sunrise Nippon”.
C: Right.
A: … And that’s about it.
C: [laugh]
A: This was Arashi! [laugh] Aiba Masaki’s Recomen! Arashi Remix. Your radio partner was Arashi’s Aiba Masaki. See you next week! Bye-bye!