Title: Interview with a Vampire
Prompt:
writerverse challenge #03 meme’s the word
Word Count: 1,028 (including questions)
Rating: G
Original/Fandom: original (
Zeke Jones ‘verse)
Summary: Are you sure nobody is going to read this?
Note(s): originally posted to the
writerverse wv_library Interview with a Vampire
The Interview Meme with Officer Hezekia “Zeke” Jones
1. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Wow, right off the bat, huh? Okay… so far, I’d have to go with graduating from the Police Academy. That was a pretty good day.
2. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I have pretty simple tastes, really, so it wouldn’t take much. A good book and a cup of fresh blood-cider and I’m one happy vampire.
3. What is your current state of mind?
Perfectly sane, according to the precinct psychologist. I had to see them two- no, three weeks ago, for that shoot-out, and they certified me as completely one hundred percent not-crazy.
4. What is your favorite occupation?
Police officer. So far. Howell assures me that it might get frustrating sometimes, but it’ll never get old. I hope he’s right.
5. What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t really have much physical treasure, but I do have my parents’ wedding rings. They died…almost ten years ago, now, and the rings help me remember them a little better, sometimes.
6. Who or what is the greatest love of your life?
What? Do I really have to answer this now? I have centuries to figure that out.
7. What is your favorite journey?
Well, the band was pretty good. And that song from The Rescuers movie.
8. What is your most marked characteristic?
The fangs and the blood-drinking are pretty distinctive.
9. When and where were you the happiest?
With my parents, I guess. I couldn’t pick a single moment, because we always seemed to be happy.
10. What is it that you most dislike?
‘Criminals’ would be too obvious, so… green beans. Can’t stand ‘em.
11. What is your greatest fear?
Well, I am a fully-trained officer of the law. But, sometimes, I do fear that I might Bite someone someday.
12. What is your greatest extravagance?
Books! Forget shoes or jewelry, my book collection takes up most of my apartment.
13. Which living person do you most despise?
I can’t say I really despise anyone. I’m usually not real thrilled with the Vampire Council, but I’ve learned to just ignore them.
14. What is your greatest regret?
I suppose I’m expected to say that I regret becoming a vampire. But I’m not. It’s not easy, sometimes, but it’s what I am, and I’ve learned to be comfortable with myself.
15. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to whistle. I can do about three notes, and none of them are useful for making any recognizable tune.
16. Where would you like to live?
Right here. I’ve lived in Philadelphia all my life and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Okay, where are you getting these questions? Besides, everyone knows that the lowest depth of misery is paperwork.
18. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Like, romantically? I’m not really looking right now, but… intelligence, I guess. A guy who will like me for who I am, and can be himself around me, too.
19. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
I don’t swing that way, so I’ll assume you meant as a friend. The same, I think, someone smart and easy to be around. But, I don’t have too many friends, really.
20. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Howell, he’s my partner, says I’m ‘reckless and impulsive’. And I guess he’s right, I can be sometimes.
21. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Stupidity. Not people who aren’t as smart as others, or as well educated, but the idiots who think they’re better than everyone else.
22. What do you most value in your friends?
Don’t have too many of those. But in people, in general, I prefer them to be open-minded. Smart with a good sense of humor is nice, too.
23. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Hmm, this is a tough one. Mythology is sort of fictional, so I’ll start with Odysseus. Sherlock Holmes. And Mr. Spock.
24. Who are your heroes in real life?
Are you sure nobody is going to read this? It’s just going into my file someplace? Okay, obviously, Officer Howell. He’s the kind of police officer I want to be when I grow up (if I grow up, if you asked him). He’s strong and dedicated, but he’s also immensely kind when he thinks he won’t get caught at it.
25. Which living person do you most admire?
Oh, no, I just answered that one. And if Howell does ever read this, I’m not going to get myself in any more trouble.
26. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
How about people who think they’re virtuous? You would not believe the crazy reasons people give for breaking the law around here…
27. On what occasions do you lie?
Me, lie? Would I do a thing like that?
28. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
According to Howell, all of them.
29. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
You’d think it would be the vampire thing, but no. Actually, I don’t think I would change anything. It’s kind of a nice feeling.
30. What are your favorite names?
Not ‘Hezekia’. I still have no idea what possessed my mother to name me that. It doesn’t seem likely I’ll ever have a kid, but if I did, I guess I’d name a girl ‘Anne’ and a boy ‘David’.
31. How would you like to die?
Okay, these questions are kind of weird. But okay… I guess I will die, someday. But that won’t be for hundreds of years. Unless, like Howell keeps telling me, I do something monumentally stupid and get myself killed.
32. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I’m a little fuzzy on the science, here, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already done that. Came back as a vampire.
33. What is your motto?
‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.’
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