I've met a few people on LJ who call me Pirate, but by and large, nearly everyone calls me Xia, because I invite it, and have been known to correct people who call me anything else. But I think it's different for me, because the name I go by is one I *chose* and it has meaning for me. I have a legal name, and when my daughter is eighteen and having to put an ad in the newspaper announcing the change no longer affects her, that name will be Xia
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the word you attach to someone isn't as important as the meaning behind it. Yeah, and it's the meaning that I'm looking for. Sure there are people on my flist whom I feel I've come to know pretty well, but - and here's the rub - do they know me as well? THAT's the thing I'd like to see change. Am I well known enough by those people for them not to be affronted if I call them by their names? Or something more casual than their entire lj handle?
and glomping is appreciated, my dear! As will be talking. but um, the math? OMG. The math will fly RIGHT OVER MY HEAD! wheesh! Talk to me about the stars and the stories and what assholes people can be to each other, but if you drop ONE SINGLE EQUATION into the discussion, I may die from my own stupid. :D
This is an interesting post. On the one hand, I know what you mean. Giving someone your real name in an online circle is in many ways a sign of trust and friendship.
But on the other, many people, regardless of how they feel about their virtual friends, regard using their real names as very dangerous (in terms of their job security or whatnot).
So, I tend to only use online the real names of people who have given me express permission or who refer to themselves by their real names. So for instance, I would call hermionesviolin by Elizabeth all the livelong day because she refers to herself that way in her journal. But I would never call ariadne83 by [redacted] on lj even though I might do so in a PM or email
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that's interesting... I do use the first names of a couple of people, but I did meet quite a bit of them in RL. I make sure that it's ok before i do use it, though. and if I'm not sure, I'll stick to the LJ handle, derived nickname from that handle or often use the first letter of their first name.
I sent like 40 xmas cards this year, and still, in one case I didn't know the RL name of one of the girls, who I am pretty sure thinks I do. how embarrassing (I'M really bad with names)
as for me, Lou is a nickname directly derived from my first name, but one that is not used in my RL anymore. In university, back in the days, yes, but not now (maybe by my baby nephew, but that's not 100% sure! lol!). so Lou is sort of my LJ name, something way easier to use than gottalovev IMHO. I still feel it's away enough from my RL to be comfortable, since most of my RL have no idea I have a LJ and fandom life. if you want to use it, it's perfectly fine with me. :)
I've never had a problem with anyone on my friends list knowing my real name. In fact, the very first post chronologically in my LJ is a flocked post with my contact info. But even w/people I've met in real life I don't often call them by their real name on LJ unless it's common knowledge or part of their user name. There have been a couple times when I was going to meet an LJ person that I realized when making the plans that I actually didn't know their real name yet. There there are people like felisblanco where I know her real name, I just have NO CLUE now to pronounce it! So yeah, no real answers. But feel free to call me Sharon if you want. :)
I know I shy away from real names just because schools are so conservative and I really have been in fear for my job, especially lately. I watched another teacher catch a lot of shit because she was lesbian, and I watched a gay teacher get driven out of the classroom. So I think that makes me more paranoid. Add that to the fact that I do tend to have troubles with interpersonal connections. I don't trust easily, and that means that I totally understand where you're coming from. Hell, I don't even exchange cards with most people. However, if you put yourself out there, you can make connections, and I know I've made a couple of connections on LJ that really mean a lot to me. And if you want to call me lynn, I wouldn't mind at all.
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Agreed.
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Hi Xia! Nice to meetchya! I'm Chelle. :)
the word you attach to someone isn't as important as the meaning behind it. Yeah, and it's the meaning that I'm looking for. Sure there are people on my flist whom I feel I've come to know pretty well, but - and here's the rub - do they know me as well? THAT's the thing I'd like to see change. Am I well known enough by those people for them not to be affronted if I call them by their names? Or something more casual than their entire lj handle?
and glomping is appreciated, my dear! As will be talking. but um, the math? OMG. The math will fly RIGHT OVER MY HEAD! wheesh! Talk to me about the stars and the stories and what assholes people can be to each other, but if you drop ONE SINGLE EQUATION into the discussion, I may die from my own stupid. :D
*luvs* ♥
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But on the other, many people, regardless of how they feel about their virtual friends, regard using their real names as very dangerous (in terms of their job security or whatnot).
So, I tend to only use online the real names of people who have given me express permission or who refer to themselves by their real names. So for instance, I would call hermionesviolin by Elizabeth all the livelong day because she refers to herself that way in her journal. But I would never call ariadne83 by [redacted] on lj even though I might do so in a PM or email ( ... )
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I sent like 40 xmas cards this year, and still, in one case I didn't know the RL name of one of the girls, who I am pretty sure thinks I do. how embarrassing (I'M really bad with names)
as for me, Lou is a nickname directly derived from my first name, but one that is not used in my RL anymore. In university, back in the days, yes, but not now (maybe by my baby nephew, but that's not 100% sure! lol!). so Lou is sort of my LJ name, something way easier to use than gottalovev IMHO. I still feel it's away enough from my RL to be comfortable, since most of my RL have no idea I have a LJ and fandom life. if you want to use it, it's perfectly fine with me. :)
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But even w/people I've met in real life I don't often call them by their real name on LJ unless it's common knowledge or part of their user name.
There have been a couple times when I was going to meet an LJ person that I realized when making the plans that I actually didn't know their real name yet.
There there are people like felisblanco where I know her real name, I just have NO CLUE now to pronounce it!
So yeah, no real answers. But feel free to call me Sharon if you want. :)
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