Parenting Seminars (4/?): Rest While You Can
Title: Parenting Seminars
Chapter Title: Rest While You Can
Author: AllVowels
AN: I’d just like to say I’m impressed with authors who are able to write and keep up on reading fics as well. I am so far behind on stuff I want to read. So kudos to you guys.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
After dancing with Troy, Abed, Pierce and Britta, Annie begged her friends for a break. She plopped down with another piece of cake, and Jeff sat down next to her.
“This cake is so good. You want some?”
“Nah, I’m good. One of us has to watch their figures.”
Annie stiffened, “Are you calling me fat?”
Jeff panicked at her accusatory tone. “What? No. I mean it is your fourth piece of cake, but you have an excuse… I don’t.”
Annie humphed and continued to eat her cake, “Of course I have an excuse. I’m eating for two.”
“It looks like you are eating for three, possibly four.”
Annie stuck her chocolate covered tongue out at her new husband, “You’re just jealous.”
His eyes darkened at the sight of her small pink tongue, “Possibly. That cake is occupying your mouth when something else should be.”
He swooped his lips down and captured hers. His tongue tried to gain entrance to her mouth but she steadfastly refused. He pulled back and looked at her.
“Really? You are already refusing to swap spit with your husband?”
“No you were just trying to get my cake and it’s mine. I’ll kiss you later.”
“Don’t worry forehead, I have something that’s better than cake. I got you two a wonderful wedding present.” Pierce grabbed a chair and sat in front of the bride and groom. He pulled out a small box and handed it to Annie. She gave her cake one last longing look before setting it down and taking the box from Pierce.
“What is it?”
“Duh-doy, you have to open it.”
Annie opened the small box and her brows knitted in confusion. “It’s a key.”
“A key?” Jeff echoed, “A key to what? Not a key to the new Lexus IS 350 C, is it?”
Annie threw an exasperated look at Jeff, “Jeff…”
Toning down his excitement a touch he continued, “Because that car just isn’t practical for a man with a baby. Who needs to go from 0 to 60 in 5.8 seconds?”
“I didn’t buy you a car dingbat. It’s something better.”
“What could be better than a new car?”
“Get into the limo and I will show you.”
“I feel like I’m being lured into a battered van with the promise of candy right now.”
“Jeff! Pierce is our friend. He wouldn’t try to kidnap us.”
“Shows how much you know… It’s usually someone the kid knows.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Despite Jeff’s protests the group plus Dean Pelton climbed into the limousine. They drove an hour and arrived in a suburb near Jeff’s law firm.
They climbed out of the car and stood in the middle of a small cul-de-sac. Picturesque town houses surrounded them.
“Pierce, what are we doing here? Remember I said a small gift, not anything weird.” Shirley trailed off as they continued to look at the homes around them. It was eerily silent, as if setting up for the opening scene of a horror movie.
A broad smile broke out on Pierce’s face. He pointed to a house and yelled, “Surprise! Matrimonio feliz!”
“Pierce, did you buy us a house?”
“Yep!”
“Pierce,” Annie began, “You can’t buy us a house.”
“Why can’t I? I have money, and you two are closer to me than any of my step children.”
“Pierce, I refuse to accept this as a present.”
Pierce sighed and looked at Annie, “Just take the damn house. If not for you, then for the baby. Where were you going to put a baby in that tiny apartment of yours? Just look at it before making up your mind.”
Annie looked at Jeff helplessly. Their apartment was tiny; the cost of living was much higher in the Denver area compared to Greendale, so they couldn’t afford much since Annie was still in school and Jeff was still being watched like a hawk at work. High profile, high paying cases just weren’t being given to him yet.
“Well, I guess we could at least look at it…” Annie conceded. The group entered the house and dispersed to look around.
“Jeff, the kitchen is three times the size of ours.”
“And the closet is huge. I could finally hang up all of my suits without them getting wrinkled from touching each other. They’d have adequate breathing room.”
“And there is an electric fireplace and a small patio in back.” Pierce chimed in, “Not too bad if I say so myself.”
“What’s the catch old man?”
“Jeff, I’m surprised at you. Can’t an old man do something out of the kindness of his aging heart?”
“Not you.”
Sighing, “Fine, I got a better deal if I bought two instead of one.”
“Wait, we’d be neighbors with you?”
“Part of the time. Shirley wants to set up an actual store front for her business ‘Shirley’s Temple’ and Denver is a more viable location then Greendale. Her and Troy will need a place to stay while they get it open and I'd have a place to stay when I'm in town.”
“I still don’t think we can accept this sort of gift Pierce…” Annie trailed off.
Sighing Pierce looked down, “I understand. I knew my dream of having grandchildren was useless after the third marriage. I guess I thought if I lived next door to you two I could pretend that I finally realized my dream.”
Jeff saw the tears in Annie’s eyes and knew that they had been beaten.
She rushed into him while muttering, “At least let us pay rent.”
“If that’s what it will take to get you to agree to take your present, fine.”
“Good play old man.”Jeff muttered so that Annie would not hear.
Pierce made eye contact with Jeff, “I have no idea what you are talking about gaywad.”
Jeff pulled Annie back to his side, "Do you know what the worse part of living here will be? Not you as a neighbor but Dean Pelton knowing where we live. I thought I'd lost him after leaving Greendale."
The dean took that moment to pop in, "Oh no Jeffrey, Greendale keeps a close eye on its most successful alumni."
They moved their things in two weeks later, and Pierce never got around to determining what their rent should be. He was old, it slipped his mind.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Annie first felt the baby move the week prior to her ultrasound. She was up reading ‘The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two’ when she a fluttery movement in her stomach. She shook Jeff awake and pressed his hands to her bare stomach after lifting up her nightie.
“Do you feel it?”
“I feel soft kissable skin.” He said while inching his hands higher towards her breasts.
Slapping his hands down, “No silly! The baby moved! Can you feel it?”
Jeff pressed his large hands against her stomach again and frowned, “No.”
Annie’s enthusiasm started to wane. “Oh. I’m sorry I woke you up for nothing. I was just so excited. It’s probably too soon for someone else to feel the baby move if I only just started to feel it.”
“I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me.” With that Jeff’s hand started their ascent up Annie’s nightgown again.
“Oh Jeff….”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
“So have you decided if you want to know the sex of the baby or not?” The ultrasound technician asked.
“Well, we’ve been debating.”
“No we haven’t.”
“Yes we have. If we don’t find out we need to decorate in neutral colors, but if we find out then we can decorate in gender specific colors. But if I decorate in gender specific colors, Britta will get upset and go off about stereotypes and not allowing the child to make their own decisions.”
“Oh, is Britta the mother?”
Annie and Jeff froze at the technician’s question. Annie looked at her enlarging stomach. Wasn’t it obvious that she was the mother?
Jeff’s eyebrows shot up, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well a lot of older men and women choose to use a surrogate. We see it quite a lot actually. It’s a shame your wife couldn’t be here.”
Annie grabbed Jeff’s hand. “My HUSBAND and I have no need for a surrogate. As you can see, I’ve had no problem getting pregnant.”
The technician paled realizing her gaff. “Oh. I just assumed… I’m sorry.”
“Maybe you should shut your mouth and get down to looking at the occupant of my wife’s stomach.”
“Yes sir.” Jeff’s body was taught with anger. Was he so old that this ultrasound person thought Annie couldn’t be his wife? He looked excellent for his age, he worked out and he ate right. Granted Annie was looking exceptionally young today. Her face was freshly scrubbed without any make up and she was wearing a camisole, hoodie and plain black yoga pants to accommodate her expanding waistline. He had come straight from work and was wearing a crisp expensive suit. So maybe they didn’t look exactly like a couple right now but the technician had no right…
The image that came up on screen stopped his angry thoughts. It, whatever it was, was beautiful. Or handsome. What was a gender neutral word for it? Awesome. It was awesome.
Annie’s eyes met Jeff’s and she smiled goofily at him. “We are going to have a baby.”
“Really? I thought you’d just gotten fat.”
Rolling her eyes she turned back to the screen as he lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a light kiss to it.
Breaking the intimate moment the technician asked, “Do you want to know the baby’s gender?”
Without hesitation Annie answered, “Yes.”
The technician looked to Jeff and he nodded in affirmation, “What the lady says goes.”
“Congratulations, you are having a baby girl.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Two weeks later Annie was surrounded by a menagerie of pink and purple color swatches. One by one she eliminated colors based on a variety of reasons. One was too bubble gummy, one was too dark, and one was too bright. Who knew that there were so many different options?
Her phone rang as she was debating the pros and cons of rosaceous pink.
“Hello, Miss Edison?”
“It’s Winger now, but yes this is her.” She felt giddy telling people her new last name.
“Yes, well I’m calling on behalf of Dr. Phil’s office. There were some inconclusive results on your ultrasound and she would like you to come back in for another one.”
“Is something wrong?”
The receptionist on the phone ignored the question, “We have an opening at her office later today if you are able to come in.”
“Alright.”
“Wonderful we will see you at 2.” Annie tried to call Jeff, but he was in court all day that day, so she left a slightly incoherent voicemail explaining the need to go in to see the OBGYN. She was quite proud of herself because she only cried once on the way to the office and didn’t panic while talking to the receptionist.
She was set up in a tiny room with an ultrasound machine, when her doctor entered.
“Miss… I mean Mrs. Winger. So good to see you again. Congratulations on the nuptials.”
Annie faked a smile, “Thank you. Why am I here? Is something wrong with the baby?”
The doctor smiled at Annie, “You certainly don't beat around the bush. Just like with any medical test, a sonogram can be inconclusive. We just wanted to have another one taken so that we can be sure of what we are dealing with.”
Annie did not like that wishy-washy answer, but she stayed silent as the doctor performed the ultrasound.
“Mrs. Winger, your baby is perfectly fine. She is developing beautifully.” Annie let out a breathe she hadn’t been realized she’d been holding.
“I feel like there is a but coming.”
“The baby is fine, but there seems to be a problem with your placenta. It is a condition called placenta previa. The placenta has started to grow over the opening of your cervix. It may recede before the baby is born, but it puts you at an increased risk of complications. If you were to go into labor prematurely you could bleed to death.”
“Oh. So what do we do?”
“Well, our goal is to get you to 36 weeks before performing a c-section. Until then I suggest bed and pelvic rest. This will reduce your risk of hemorrhaging until then. I’d also like you to come in again in two weeks for another ultrasound so we can monitor you fully.”
When Annie entered the lobby, she heard her husband arguing loudly with the receptionist.
“Just tell me where she is!”
“Jeff!”
He swung around and raced over to her enclosing her in his arms, “Annie! Are you alright? Is the baby okay?”
“The baby is fine. My placenta not so much. I’ve been ordered to bed and pelvic rest until they can perform a c-section. I thought you were in court all day today?”
“I checked my phone during the recess, got your voicemail and rushed over here.”
Annie smiled up at him, “Don’t worry I’ll just head home. You go back to work.”
“You sure? I could drive you home.”
Shaking her head, “I drove too. I’ll be fine. Go back to work.”
“Only if you are sure.”
Laughing, “Yes Jeff go.”
“I’ll pick something up for dinner on the way home.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
When Annie arrived home, she surveyed the boxes that still needed to be unpacked. There was so much stuff to do, and she had to resign herself to staying in bed.
She changed into comfy pants and sat in bed. In her mind, she methodically planned the actions she’d need to take for the next 3 months. First she’d need to contact her professors and find out if there was a way to continue her education. She also still needed to finish unpacking, and she needed to finish getting the nursery ready, but how would she do that from the bed?
“Hello?” Annie heard Shirley’s voice call out from downstairs. “Anyone home?”
“I’m up here!”
Within a minute Shirley and Troy had joined her in the bedroom.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Oh you know, we were in the neighborhood for a delivery and decided to stop by. I have some extra brownies if you’d like one.” Shirley replied in her overly sweet tone.
“Jeff called you.”
“No.”
“Yes.” Troy answered at the same time as Shirley’s denial.
Sighing she held out her hand, “Brownie please. What did he tell you?”
“He said you got some news from the doctor and was afraid you’d be upset.”
“I don’t know why you’d be upset though. I’ve had primavera before. It was chicken parmesan primavera and it was delicious. The cheese was all bubbly and OMG…”
“It’s placenta PREVIA Troy. Not primavera.”
“Oh what’s the difference?”
Shirley smacked him in the arm, “For one thing the placenta is in her uterus, and it’s not an Italian dish.”
“If it is in her uterus, does that make it cannibalism? Gross…”
“Oh Troy… Why don’t you go get a glass of water?”
“But I’m not thirsty.”
“NOW.”
“Fine! But I’m not bringing you one.” He huffed as he left the room.
“Sweetie, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Shirley gave her a doubtful look. “Okay I’m a little worried. I don’t know how I’ll be able to stay in bed for the next couple of months. I have so much to do.”
“Well, maybe you can get ahead in school?”
Annie leaned back into her pillow and sighed, “I guess so. I need to contact all my professors and see if they will allow me too.”
“Well you start contacting them, and Troy and I will rustle you up something to eat.”
“That’s okay. Jeff said he’d pick something up on the way home. But thank you. I really appreciate you guys stopping by but I’d rather be alone for a little while.”
“You call if you need anything, do you understand?”
“Yes mom.”
“Don’t get sassy with me. You’ll be a mom soon too young lady.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
A week later, Annie was dying to get out of bed. She was ahead of all her assignments, and the shows that were on during the day were horrible. She ended up watching the Food Network a lot, which just made her hungry.
Her laptop was at her side, and she was browsing baby websites. She was currently reading through a discussion on the merits of breast feeding. She was all for it to a point, but wouldn’t it hurt once the kid started to teeth? She just couldn’t imagine a two year old still suckling at her breast.
A crash downstairs startled her. It was the middle of the day, and Jeff was in the middle of a case so it wouldn’t be him. Shirley usually called before she stopped by, and no one else had stopped by since the day she was ordered to bed rest. Gingerly getting out of bed she reached for the nearest available weapon, which happened to be Mr. Brigglebee. The door to her bedroom was pushed open and she swung the stuffed bear as hard as she could.
“AHHH!” The intruder let out an ear splitting scream which caused Annie to scream in response.
“AHHH!”
“AHHHH! I felt left out.” Abed’s calm voice interrupted the duo who were currently screaming.
“Troy? Abed? What are you doing here?”
“We heard you are on bed rest, so we thought you might like some company. I didn’t know I’d be attacked though.”
“Why didn’t you knock?”
“How were you going to answer the door if you are on bed rest?”
Annie was silent for a second, “Well you could of called.”
“Next time we will. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“I can get up for a little bit, to go the bathroom and such.”
“And attack intruders?”
“Well no… but I needed to go to the bathroom too. I swear the baby likes to kick my bladder.”
“Go pee then while we set up,” Troy called while dragging a large suitcase in the room. “We brought movies!”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
When Jeff got home that evening he found his bed surrounded by sheets and blankets.
“Annie, what’s going on?”
“Troy and Abed are here. They set up a blanket fort.” Jeff ducked through two blankets and found his wife lying propped up in bed with a bowl of popcorn balanced precariously on her stomach.
“I can see that, but the more important question is why?”
“To entertain me. They’re putting on puppet shows. Come join me.” She patted the bed next to her.
“I have some briefs that I need to look over before tomorrow.”
“That’s too bad; they said the next one would have Horsebot3000 in it.”
“Well I guess I can stay for a little bit.” He arranged himself around his invalid of a wife and removed the popcorn from her stomach.
“Hey I was eating that!”
“I’ll feed you later I promise.” He pulled up her shirt and stroked her stomach lovingly as Troy and Abed acted out various adventures of Greendalia.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Shirley called Jeff one evening and demanded to know what was being done about the nursery.
“I don’t know. It’s empty.”
“Oh! Well wouldn’t it be nice if we had it all ready for Annie when the baby comes? That way she has nothing to worry about. I could…”
“NO!” If Shirley planned their wedding and decorated the nursery Annie would murder him. But the question was: how to tell Shirley that without her murdering him?
“Do you not want me to help you, Jeff-rey?”
“No, I love your help. But I’m sure you are super busy setting up the storefront, so I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“Jeff, your baby is more important than my store. It can wait a couple of weeks.”
“I wouldn’t feel right asking you to give up that time. You’ve worked so long and hard to make this dream come true. Besides, Annie has a book going about the nursery. She was really looking forward to it and I don’t want to take that away from her. She’s already upset about being bedridden.”
“Oh, that’s understandable. Well we can all come over one weekend and she can direct us while we decorate and it would distract her for awhile. She could order stuff online and we’d all assemble it! Would that work?”
“That sounds brilliant.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Annie cried when Jeff told her the plan for the nursery.
“Is that not okay?”
“No! It’s wonderful! I thought I wouldn’t get to decorate my baby’s nursery and now I get too.”
“So these are happy tears? Is this like the other day when you got upset with me for having a face?”
“They are pregnancy tears. And I’m sorry my moods are so troublesome to you!” Annie went from sad to angry faster than the Lexus IS 350 C.
“I just can’t win can I?”
“No. But it’d help if you rubbed my feet.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Three days before her scheduled c-section, Annie was jolted out of bed by a severe pain in her abdomen. She felt something wet seeping between her legs. Gingerly she reached her hand down and when she withdrew her it her fingers were coated in blood.
“Jeff. Jeff wake up.” Her voice was quiet but the panic in her voice must have cut through his dreams.
“Did we run out of ice cream?”
“Jeff I need you to call 9-1-1.” Jeff could barely dial the number on his cell phone because his hands were shaking so terribly. Annie clutched Jeff’s hand all the way to the hospital. The nurse had to physically restrain Jeff as Annie was taken to the operating room.
“I’m sorry sir, but you have to wait here. You aren't allowed in the O.R.”
Jeff trembled as he sat in a hard plastic chair. It took him four attempts to steady his hands enough to send out a text message to the group.
Jeff: Complications. At Rose Medical Center.
He pulled his long legs up on the chair and rested his head on his knees.
“Please let this be a bad dream. Please… I would go through another 10 years of taking classes at Greendale as long as this isn’t real.”
Jeff was sitting in the same position when Troy arrived.
“Dude I saw the ambulance and then got your text. Is something wrong”
Jeff tilted his head back and met Troy’s eyes, “What would give you that idea? The fact that we are at a hospital in the middle of the night? Or that fact that I have my wife’s blood on my hands? Oh my god, I have Annie’s blood on my hands.”
Troy’s eyes were wet with tears as he called Abed, “This is serious. I don’t know what it going on with Annie, but Jeff is freaking out. He darted in the bathroom a moment ago. He had dried blood on his hands. You guys need to get here now."
“I already picked up Shirley and I’m at Britta’s now. We will be there in an hour.”
Shirley’s voice shouted from the background.
“An hour? Shove over little man; we will be there in 30 minutes. Take care of them until we get there Troy.”
Troy entered the bathroom and found Jeff furiously scrubbing his hands.
“It won’t come off. Why won’t it come off Troy?” Troy looked at Jeff’s hands which were bright red from the combination of furious scrubbing and scalding hot water.
Troy decided to use the tone of voice which he dubbed ‘Fievel I won’t hurt you, but please please don’t touch me.’ It was the voice he used when there was something he needed to do but he was terrified of doing it. He had never seen Jeff like this, and it scared him.
“There’s nothing on your hands Jeff. How about we go back into the waiting room in case they come out with news? Okay?”
Jeff pushed his hand quickly through his hair before looking at Troy with haunted eyes, “I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”
Troy attempted to smile reassuringly even though his brain was crying. “You aren’t going to lose her. She’s Annie, the princess of the group. Princesses always get happy endings.”
Jeff nodded in agreement, but he did not look convinced. Troy corralled Jeff back into his previous seat in the empty waiting room and the two sat in silence, waiting for any sort of news.
Twenty minutes later, Shirley, Abed and Britta rushed into the waiting room. One look at Jeff and the trio realized that whatever happened, it was bad. Instead of the chaos and noise that normally followed the group, an eerie silence fell around them. Shirley took the empty seat next to Jeff and pulled out her necklace with the tiny cross on it and began to silently pray. Britta sunk down next to Troy and placed a hand on his leg.
“Where’s Pierce?” Britta’s voice broke the silence.
“He wouldn’t answer the phone when I called,” Shirley answered. “I left a message telling him it was urgent. Jeff, have you heard from him.”
Jeff didn’t bother to raise his head as he replied, “I sent him the same text you guys got. I don’t know if he responded because I threw my phone at the wall shortly after I sent it out. I don’t know where it went.”
The others shared a look. Jeff must have been out of his mind to treat his phone like that.
“Someone should try again. He would want to know because Annie is his favorite. He thinks of her as a daughter.”
Shirley nodded in agreement at Abed’s statement, and patted Jeff’s back. “I will go try again.”
Abed took her empty seat. A few moments later a stout older man rushed into the waiting area and approached the check in desk.
“Excuse me; I’m here to see Annie Edison. I got a call that she is here.”
“I’m sorry sir, we have no one by that name here.”
“It’s Winger.” The stout man’s head swiveled to look at Jeff.
“What?”
“Here name isn’t Edison anymore. It’s Winger. Annie Winger.”
The man flushed, “Oh, I didn’t realize she had gotten married. I’m Annie’s father, Michael Edison.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I called him.”
“Abed?” Troy gasped, “Why would you do that?”
“Annie told me not to contact her parents unless the situation was dire. I determined that this situation was dire, therefore I called them.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________
AN: The next chapter will be more upbeat, I promise. And this story has caused all of the ads that show up while I’m on the internet to be about babies and being a single mother. I miss my shoe ads.