Battle Prompt Responses 1-7
Title: Exercises in Rudimentary Battle
Author: Allvowels
Summary: Responses to M&M’s Fic Battle: Firing Squad. Short stories based on prompts. Includes crossovers with Once Upon A Time and Grimm.
Oh my some of these were really hard but it was so much fun!
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Prompt #1: Jeff learns that Annie is a wesen, just like him! (Crossover with Grimm) by eleventhimpala
"Alright class, today we will be dissecting worms."
Annie's hand shot into the air.
"Yes Miss Edison, do you have a question?"
"Is there a way to opt out of participating in the dissection?"
"No!"
"But I'd really rather not cut up anything. There is a reason I went into Heathcare administration instead of just plain healthcare. I don't deal well with blood and guts."
Professor Kane sighed. "You don't have to do the actual cutting of the worm as long as you participate in the labeling of the diagram that goes with the worm."
Annie looked hesitant but took a seat near Jeff and the small tray with a worm in it.
"Thank you professor."
"I thought you'd have a stronger stomach after the way you nursed those soldiers back to health."
"That was different. I can deal with feathers, scrapes and Gatorade but not... Worms."
"Ah is the little lady afraid of worms?" Jeff taunted in a sing song voice.
"No!"
"You are!" He chuckled at Annie before picking the worm up and wiggling it in her face. "Annie's afraid of worms! Annie's afraid of worms!"
"I am not! Jeff stop it!"
"Nope." His wiggling of the worm caused it to brush against Annie's face. Annie let out an indignant shriek as her face suddenly morphed in front of Jeff's eyes. Her nose turned into a beak, her eyes widened and changed into a glittering shade of gold. Multicolored feathers surrounded her face as her small beak snapped up the worm and swallowed it whole. After the worm was gone her face morphed back.
Her eyes peeked over at Jeff to see if he noticed. He did.
His eyebrows were in his hairline as he gazed at her. "I guess you aren't afraid of worms. I thought seltenvogel were extinct."
Annie shrugged indifferent and watched as Jeff's face morphed into a alley cat like creature.
"Klaustreich...."
"Weider Klaustreich actually. That's why I have such a strict diet and exercise routine. I don't like the drugs though. I have to stay away from mice; they are my downfall."
The two nodded in silent understanding, the others didn't need to know about their special 'talents.'
"Professor Kane?"
"What now Miss Edison?"
"We need another worm..."
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Prompt #2: Jeff attempts to write his wedding vows to Annie without drinking (humor, fluff) by Iknowitsbutters
Annie had locked him in the guest bedroom with a pen and notebook, thankfully not a Hello Kitty one, and ordered him to write his vows. She wouldn’t allow him to have a dictionary or whiskey either.
“Look what happened last time, you almost married Britta.”
“Point taken. But Britta isn't here so that's not a possibility. Just a little whiskey?”
"No."
So here he was sitting in the guest bedroom trying to think of poetic words that would ensure he’d get lucky on his wedding night.
“Dear Annie, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand, two one-thousand. I could possibly get away with that. She’s young; she probably hasn’t seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit? But Abed has. He might slip into Dr. Doom’s character and ruin the wedding.”
Sighing in his frustration, he threw the notebook down and knocked over the table lamp breaking it.
“Oops! I guess I have to fix this now.” He walked to the door and jiggled the handle but found it locked. “Annie I broke the lamp let me out!”
“Are you vows done yet?”
“I’ve made some definite progress.” He lied as the empty notebook stared up at him.
“Slip the notebook under the door. I want to read them before I let you out.”
“I am hurt that you don’t trust me. I thought our love was built on more than that. Don’t you want to be surprised on our wedding day?”
“And I thought that you thought I was smarter than one of your old floozies that would fall for a line like that.”
“Wait what?” As he figured out her odd sentence he realized she took his words as an insult. “No I know you are smarter than that! And who uses the word floozy anymore?”
“This woman does bozo. I won’t let you out until I see beautiful words in that notebook.”
It was several hours later when Annie decided to take pity on her poor fiancé. When she unlocked the door she found him passed out on the small guest bed with the notebook held protectively to his chest. Gently removing it, she flipped through the first few pages viewing Jeff’s slanted handwriting that had been hastily crossed out.
You light up my life.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all I can say is I want to marry you
I do
To you I belong
This I promise you
Underneath the horrible attempt at vows, which were just crappy love songs and a first grade level poem, she saw a small passage.
No one knows why someone as beautiful and kind as you would marry someone like me. The honorable thing would be to let you go find someone better. But I’m selfish and I like who I am with you and I love you more than I ever thought I could.
She set the notebook down and crawled in next to him.
“I like who I am with you too.”
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Prompt #3: Annie helps Jeff write a nice speech for Andre and Shirley's vow renewal; any rating, fluff/humour by Crittab
“Jeff, you need to focus. The ceremony starts in one hour and you have to write your speech.”
“I don’t want to write a speech. I don’t even like Andre.”
“Why don’t you like Andre? Because he cheated on Shirley? She’s forgiven him for that, and if she has, we can too.”
“No, he wears those ugly Cosby sweaters. What self respecting man dresses like that?”
“One that would run away with a stripper?”
“He had to dress better before that. A stripper won’t touch a Cosby sweater with a ten foot pole.”
“Really? I thought strippers had daddy issues. Wouldn’t it remind them of their dads?”
“That may be true. Next time Alan makes me go to the strip club I’ll convince him to wear one. Either the strippers will shun him, or cry while giving him a lap dance. It'll make the night more entertaining.”
Annie chose to ignore that last statement about Jeff visiting strippers. “Back to the speech. What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know. Write it for me. You actually like them as a couple. I only like Shirley.”
“Well that’s the thing then, don’t write it for Andre, write it for Shirley.”
Later that day Jeff stood in front of a small group of people after Shirley and Andre renewed their vows.
“Being asked to give a speech at a wedding is like being asked to make love to the President. It is a great honor in theory, but I didn’t want to do it.”
At the few chuckles he received he continued, “But in all seriousness I’d like to address the groom. Andre, you are a lucky man today, because Shirley is one of the best women I’ve ever met. She loves her children with such a deep unconditional love, that it makes others jealous, because our parents never have and never will live up to her example. She has a passion and drive that will get her through the darkest of times, all the while keeping a smile on her face. She deserves a man that is her equal, so I guess it’s a good thing you talked her into saying yes before she found him.”
Jeff cracked a smile to play off that he was joking. He raised his glass in the air. “In honor of the bride and groom.”
Everyone raised their glasses as well. Once the speeches were over, Jeff found Annie by the punch table.
“Jeff, that was beautiful.”
He shrugged indifferently, “I googled it.”
Annie knew better though. For all his macho posturing at times, he cared deeply for his friends, and those things he said about Shirley came from his heart.
Annie let him keep his dignity for now and chose to pull him onto the dance floor instead.
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Prompt #4: Annie tries out vegetarianism for Britta. Jeff makes her cheat. By butterbadger
“ANNIE!” Jeff’s voice rang out through the hallway, causing the petite brunette to pause and wait for her tall friend to catch up to her. “I have a present for you.”
“But it’s not my birthday.”
“It’s to apologize for the other day. It was cruel of me to drag you to that steakhouse after you decided to be a vegetarian. I still stand by my argument that you shouldn’t do something just because Britta showed you pictures of slaughtered animals, but if you truly don’t want to eat meat anymore, I won’t say another word about it.”
“Thank you for respecting my choice.”
“Of course it was your choice. Now go ahead and open it.” He said while shoving a small pink box into her hands. There was a smiling cupcake on the outside.
“Does Shirley know you are frequenting a bakery that isn’t hers?”
“Well when Shirley has her own bakery I will buy you apology cupcakes from there. Until then, enjoy your cupcake. It’s gluten free.”
Annie was warmed by Jeff’s enthusiasm over her gift. She opened the small box and took a large bite of the dark brown cupcake with light brown frosting.
“Oh that is so good. Chocolate with maple frosting, right?” Jeff nodded his head, “Hmm, there is something else in here though. Something salty. Is it caramel?”
“Nope, take another bite and see if you can figure it out.”
She took another large bite and shrugged her shoulders after a few chews to signal she didn’t know.
“It’s bacon.”
Annie’s jaw stopped moving as she processed Jeff’s words. Her eyes widened in horror and she spit the remaining cupcake out into the paper in her hands.
“Jeff, how could you? I promised Britta!”
“I saw you eating a hamburger yesterday in the parking lot."
“It was a veggie burger?”
“Don’t lie to me. You are bad at it. You need to learn how to hide better if you are going to break your promises. Or learn to not make stupid promises.”
“I’m sorry! Your steak smelled so good and all I could eat was that stupid salad. And I was so hungry later. So I broke. Please don’t tell Britta?”
“See that’s a promise that I can’t keep, so I’m telling you no. Teach by example or however that saying goes.”
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Prompt #5: Nick!Jeff, Juliette!Annie - What if all of the stories we've heard... What if they're not stories? What if they're real? By Mustbethursday3
Today I brew, tomorrow I bake;
And then the Prince child I will take;
For no one knows my little game
That Rumpelstiltskin is my name
“What an odd old man. How did you say you knew him Jeff?” Annie questioned once they returned home from a barbeque held at the Hawthorne estate.
“That was Pierce. I went to school with him for a little while.”
“And he made his fortune selling moist towelettes? I had no idea they were such a lucrative business.”
“Some would say he has the golden touch. Any business he invests in flourishes.”
“I would not have seen that man as the savvy business type, but I guess looks can be deceiving.”
“You have no idea.” What Annie didn’t know was that Pierce was a Kleinermann, a small troll like creature that traded wealth and magic at the expense of others. His first stepchild was given to him for a new car. The second for a mansion. The third was given in exchange for an acting career. Unfortunately each ‘wife’s’ fortune soon turned to tragedy after their wishes were complete, leaving the children alone under his spell.
Jeff snuck out while Annie was asleep to visit the trailer his Aunt had left him. He scoured the books, but the one scroll on the subject was in Polish.
He picked up his phone and dialed a number, “I need your help. Come to the trailer now.”
“Cool. Cool cool cool.”
Abed showed up shortly after the call and looked over the ancient scroll that belonged to the Grimm's.
“It says that a Kleinermann cannot have his own children, he’s impotent, therefore he barters for other people’s children. The more children he has, the more powerful he becomes. They will seem to exceed at insignificant things while causing destruction around them.”
“Such as a moist towelette empire, while each of his wives die mysterious deaths?”
“Exactly.”
“Does it say how to defeat him?”
“To release the spell one must simply utter the Kleinermann’s true name.”
“I know his name!”
“Not his true name.”
Jeff and Abed left hours later, nowhere closer to defeating the evil Pierce Hawthorne. As he climbed into bed, he woke Annie up.
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, just a case.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Jeff hesitated, how much could he tell her without telling her what he was?
“It’s about Pierce. There is an accusation against him but he has no priors under his name. I was thinking that maybe it’s an alias, but I have no clue what his real name is.”
“It’s Piercinald Anastasia Hawthorne.”
Jeff looked at Annie startled, “How do you know that?”
“Some old man came out in an strange looking wig and scolded him using that name. It reminded me of when my mom caught me doing something bad and used my full name to scold me. I assume it was his father. So I assume that is his real name.”
“Annie you are brilliant.”
“I know. Now would you please come back to bed?” Jeff snuggled in next to her. Pierce could wait another few hours.
Kleinnermann roughly translates to 'Little Man'
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Prompt #6: As the curse is broken, Jeff and Annie "wake up" to realize they are really Charming and Snow (or any other fairytale couple you prefer) who were transported to Greendale after the Evil Queen first cast the curse. Bonus points if you can come up with fairytale counterparts for the other group members. By Shli1117
Annie felt funny. There was a tingling that started in her heart and spread throughout her body. Her vision blurred as memories from long ago came rushing back to her. The bell to the diner sounded and she swung in her chair to see the tall outline of Jeff.
“Charming…”
“Snow…” The two rushed together and experienced true love’s kiss once more.
“Snow, Charming, we have to go. The evil queen must be dealt with.” Abed stood in the door with Troy at his side.
“Peter! Tink! It is so good to see you again.”
“I’d be happy if I hadn't continued to grow. I’m an adult now! I was meant to be a child forever!” Abed said while gesturing to his tall lanky body.
“You think you have it bad? Look at me? I’m huge! What happened to my beautiful dainty wings?” Troy cried in anger.
“Calm down you two, we have more important things to worry about. You mentioned the evil queen. Where is she?”
The two boys shared a look, “Well, she is no longer a she. It seems when the curse was cast she was transformed into a thin bald male.”
Jeff and Annie exchanged a look, “The dean! That would explain all of the strange outfits and why he is obsessed with Jeff!”
The four stormed out of the diner and ran into Britta.
“Do you remember magic stuff too, or am I just ridiculously high right now?”
“Robin Hood now is not the time. I know you are used to lazing about in the woods all day when you aren’t stealing from the rich but we have to deal with the evil Queen Pelton right now!” Annie cried.
“Well what are you going to do? Does the queen still have magic because if I recall correctly there is no magic here.”
“The blue fairy!” Abed cried. “She can help us. After all she turned Pierce… I mean Pinocchio into a real boy!”
Troy interrupted, “I’m getting confused. Should we call each other by our old names or our new names?”
Annie shrugged, “I have gotten use to the name Annie.”
“I’ve gotten used to my new name too.”
“Then it’s decided. We call each other by our new names. Now off to find Shirley and then defeat the Evil Dean Pelton!”
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Prompt #7 Annie takes Jeff to a place called Storybrooke in the Dreamatorium. By _carly_
Warning: Slight sexual situation. Nothing serious or graphic.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be a prince, but the prince has no idea who he is because he is…what now exactly?”
“Everyone was cursed and brought into our world, to the town of Storybrooke. They have no recollection of who they really are because the evil queen took away our happy endings.”
“So I’m pretending to be an average guy?”
“Jeff you aren’t taking this seriously!”
“How can I? I’m in a green striped room, being told to use my imagination to become a prince.”
“Not a prince! Aladdin was a street kid.”
“Ah, so a homeless person then. Why didn’t ask Abed to do this?”
“Because I didn’t want him to be Scott!”
“Who’s Scott?”
“Aladdin’s name in our world!”
“And who are you supposed to be? Please give me our world and fairy tale names so I can try to keep this straight.”
“Princess Jasmine/Olive.”
Jeff scratched his head. “And you thought I’d be the best person to be Aladdin?”
Rolling her eyes, “Of course. He is a street smart handsome young man, who can talk his way out of anything. He also
pretends to be something he is not to get the princess. Plus he has great abs, so I'd say you are a pretty good Aladdin.”
“Annie, if you wanted me to take my shirt off, all you had to do was ask.” He said while lifting his shirt up over his head. Annie’s face flushed as she took in his naked chest.
“So it was Olive right?”
Annie’s glazed eyes raised to meet Jeff’s, “Huh?”
“Olive right?”
Her smile widen when she realized he was going along with it.
“Yes, my name is Olive. What is your name?”
A crooked grin crossed his face, “My name is Scott. Your father hired me to landscape.”
As the two got into their role playing, the room morphed into the town of Storybrooke. Olive stood in front of a stately mansion, talking to her father’s newest landscaper. There was something about him that seemed familiar. Something that made her feel alive again. Gazing into his eyes she knew she’d follow him to the ends of the Earth and back.
“Want to go back to my place?”
A blushed crept up her neck at his boldness, but she conceded. The room morphed into a crappy studio apartment with a bed and a single hotplate. A cat ran up to greet them when they entered.
“What’s her name?”
“It’s a he, and his name is monkey.”
“Ah. Cute.”
“Are you nervous? We don’t have to do this.” She wasn’t sure if he was talking to her as Olive or as Annie, but either way, she was not backing down. She grabbed his face and brought his mouth to hers. His tongue was quickly introduced to the warm cavern of her mouth. Since he was already shirtless, her small hands had free reign to trail over his muscled form.
Her shirt soon hit the floor. Scott slowly lowered Olive to the floor while trailing kisses down her throat to her bra line.
“A turquoise bra? Aren’t you a naughty girl…” As he pulled the cup down to get better access to her breast the door flung open.
Troy and Abed’s excited chatter over their latest adventure abruptly stopped.
“The Dreamatorium wasn’t made for this!”
“I concur, that’s what your bedroom is for.”
Annie huffed while putting her shirt back on, “Well some people,” glaring at the two, “Blocked the way to my room.”
“Well it’s unblocked now! Now go so we can cleanse this place.”
“Come on Jeff,” Jeff grabbed his shirt and followed Annie out of the room.
“That was hot.”
“The role playing, or getting caught by my roommates?”
“Both. I’d rather not have Troy and Abed looking at your unmentionables again, but if you want to visit Storybrooke again, give me a call. ”
Jasmine is part of the Olive family and Scott was the name of the actor who voiced Aladdin in the Disney movie.
Author: Allvowels
Summary: Responses to M&M’s Fic Battle: Firing Squad. Short stories based on prompts. Includes crossovers with Once Upon A Time and Grimm.
Oh my some of these were really hard but it was so much fun!
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Prompt #1: Jeff learns that Annie is a wesen, just like him! (Crossover with Grimm) by eleventhimpala
"Alright class, today we will be dissecting worms."
Annie's hand shot into the air.
"Yes Miss Edison, do you have a question?"
"Is there a way to opt out of participating in the dissection?"
"No!"
"But I'd really rather not cut up anything. There is a reason I went into Heathcare administration instead of just plain healthcare. I don't deal well with blood and guts."
Professor Kane sighed. "You don't have to do the actual cutting of the worm as long as you participate in the labeling of the diagram that goes with the worm."
Annie looked hesitant but took a seat near Jeff and the small tray with a worm in it.
"Thank you professor."
"I thought you'd have a stronger stomach after the way you nursed those soldiers back to health."
"That was different. I can deal with feathers, scrapes and Gatorade but not... Worms."
"Ah is the little lady afraid of worms?" Jeff taunted in a sing song voice.
"No!"
"You are!" He chuckled at Annie before picking the worm up and wiggling it in her face. "Annie's afraid of worms! Annie's afraid of worms!"
"I am not! Jeff stop it!"
"Nope." His wiggling of the worm caused it to brush against Annie's face. Annie let out an indignant shriek as her face suddenly morphed in front of Jeff's eyes. Her nose turned into a beak, her eyes widened and changed into a glittering shade of gold. Multicolored feathers surrounded her face as her small beak snapped up the worm and swallowed it whole. After the worm was gone her face morphed back.
Her eyes peeked over at Jeff to see if he noticed. He did.
His eyebrows were in his hairline as he gazed at her. "I guess you aren't afraid of worms. I thought seltenvogel were extinct."
Annie shrugged indifferent and watched as Jeff's face morphed into a alley cat like creature.
"Klaustreich...."
"Weider Klaustreich actually. That's why I have such a strict diet and exercise routine. I don't like the drugs though. I have to stay away from mice; they are my downfall."
The two nodded in silent understanding, the others didn't need to know about their special 'talents.'
"Professor Kane?"
"What now Miss Edison?"
"We need another worm..."
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Prompt #2: Jeff attempts to write his wedding vows to Annie without drinking (humor, fluff) by Iknowitsbutters
Annie had locked him in the guest bedroom with a pen and notebook, thankfully not a Hello Kitty one, and ordered him to write his vows. She wouldn’t allow him to have a dictionary or whiskey either.
“Look what happened last time, you almost married Britta.”
“Point taken. But Britta isn't here so that's not a possibility. Just a little whiskey?”
"No."
So here he was sitting in the guest bedroom trying to think of poetic words that would ensure he’d get lucky on his wedding night.
“Dear Annie, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand, two one-thousand. I could possibly get away with that. She’s young; she probably hasn’t seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit? But Abed has. He might slip into Dr. Doom’s character and ruin the wedding.”
Sighing in his frustration, he threw the notebook down and knocked over the table lamp breaking it.
“Oops! I guess I have to fix this now.” He walked to the door and jiggled the handle but found it locked. “Annie I broke the lamp let me out!”
“Are you vows done yet?”
“I’ve made some definite progress.” He lied as the empty notebook stared up at him.
“Slip the notebook under the door. I want to read them before I let you out.”
“I am hurt that you don’t trust me. I thought our love was built on more than that. Don’t you want to be surprised on our wedding day?”
“And I thought that you thought I was smarter than one of your old floozies that would fall for a line like that.”
“Wait what?” As he figured out her odd sentence he realized she took his words as an insult. “No I know you are smarter than that! And who uses the word floozy anymore?”
“This woman does bozo. I won’t let you out until I see beautiful words in that notebook.”
It was several hours later when Annie decided to take pity on her poor fiancé. When she unlocked the door she found him passed out on the small guest bed with the notebook held protectively to his chest. Gently removing it, she flipped through the first few pages viewing Jeff’s slanted handwriting that had been hastily crossed out.
You light up my life.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all I can say is I want to marry you
I do
To you I belong
This I promise you
Underneath the horrible attempt at vows, which were just crappy love songs and a first grade level poem, she saw a small passage.
No one knows why someone as beautiful and kind as you would marry someone like me. The honorable thing would be to let you go find someone better. But I’m selfish and I like who I am with you and I love you more than I ever thought I could.
She set the notebook down and crawled in next to him.
“I like who I am with you too.”
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Prompt #3: Annie helps Jeff write a nice speech for Andre and Shirley's vow renewal; any rating, fluff/humour by Crittab
“Jeff, you need to focus. The ceremony starts in one hour and you have to write your speech.”
“I don’t want to write a speech. I don’t even like Andre.”
“Why don’t you like Andre? Because he cheated on Shirley? She’s forgiven him for that, and if she has, we can too.”
“No, he wears those ugly Cosby sweaters. What self respecting man dresses like that?”
“One that would run away with a stripper?”
“He had to dress better before that. A stripper won’t touch a Cosby sweater with a ten foot pole.”
“Really? I thought strippers had daddy issues. Wouldn’t it remind them of their dads?”
“That may be true. Next time Alan makes me go to the strip club I’ll convince him to wear one. Either the strippers will shun him, or cry while giving him a lap dance. It'll make the night more entertaining.”
Annie chose to ignore that last statement about Jeff visiting strippers. “Back to the speech. What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know. Write it for me. You actually like them as a couple. I only like Shirley.”
“Well that’s the thing then, don’t write it for Andre, write it for Shirley.”
Later that day Jeff stood in front of a small group of people after Shirley and Andre renewed their vows.
“Being asked to give a speech at a wedding is like being asked to make love to the President. It is a great honor in theory, but I didn’t want to do it.”
At the few chuckles he received he continued, “But in all seriousness I’d like to address the groom. Andre, you are a lucky man today, because Shirley is one of the best women I’ve ever met. She loves her children with such a deep unconditional love, that it makes others jealous, because our parents never have and never will live up to her example. She has a passion and drive that will get her through the darkest of times, all the while keeping a smile on her face. She deserves a man that is her equal, so I guess it’s a good thing you talked her into saying yes before she found him.”
Jeff cracked a smile to play off that he was joking. He raised his glass in the air. “In honor of the bride and groom.”
Everyone raised their glasses as well. Once the speeches were over, Jeff found Annie by the punch table.
“Jeff, that was beautiful.”
He shrugged indifferently, “I googled it.”
Annie knew better though. For all his macho posturing at times, he cared deeply for his friends, and those things he said about Shirley came from his heart.
Annie let him keep his dignity for now and chose to pull him onto the dance floor instead.
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Prompt #4: Annie tries out vegetarianism for Britta. Jeff makes her cheat. By butterbadger
“ANNIE!” Jeff’s voice rang out through the hallway, causing the petite brunette to pause and wait for her tall friend to catch up to her. “I have a present for you.”
“But it’s not my birthday.”
“It’s to apologize for the other day. It was cruel of me to drag you to that steakhouse after you decided to be a vegetarian. I still stand by my argument that you shouldn’t do something just because Britta showed you pictures of slaughtered animals, but if you truly don’t want to eat meat anymore, I won’t say another word about it.”
“Thank you for respecting my choice.”
“Of course it was your choice. Now go ahead and open it.” He said while shoving a small pink box into her hands. There was a smiling cupcake on the outside.
“Does Shirley know you are frequenting a bakery that isn’t hers?”
“Well when Shirley has her own bakery I will buy you apology cupcakes from there. Until then, enjoy your cupcake. It’s gluten free.”
Annie was warmed by Jeff’s enthusiasm over her gift. She opened the small box and took a large bite of the dark brown cupcake with light brown frosting.
“Oh that is so good. Chocolate with maple frosting, right?” Jeff nodded his head, “Hmm, there is something else in here though. Something salty. Is it caramel?”
“Nope, take another bite and see if you can figure it out.”
She took another large bite and shrugged her shoulders after a few chews to signal she didn’t know.
“It’s bacon.”
Annie’s jaw stopped moving as she processed Jeff’s words. Her eyes widened in horror and she spit the remaining cupcake out into the paper in her hands.
“Jeff, how could you? I promised Britta!”
“I saw you eating a hamburger yesterday in the parking lot."
“It was a veggie burger?”
“Don’t lie to me. You are bad at it. You need to learn how to hide better if you are going to break your promises. Or learn to not make stupid promises.”
“I’m sorry! Your steak smelled so good and all I could eat was that stupid salad. And I was so hungry later. So I broke. Please don’t tell Britta?”
“See that’s a promise that I can’t keep, so I’m telling you no. Teach by example or however that saying goes.”
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Prompt #5: Nick!Jeff, Juliette!Annie - What if all of the stories we've heard... What if they're not stories? What if they're real? By Mustbethursday3
Today I brew, tomorrow I bake;
And then the Prince child I will take;
For no one knows my little game
That Rumpelstiltskin is my name
“What an odd old man. How did you say you knew him Jeff?” Annie questioned once they returned home from a barbeque held at the Hawthorne estate.
“That was Pierce. I went to school with him for a little while.”
“And he made his fortune selling moist towelettes? I had no idea they were such a lucrative business.”
“Some would say he has the golden touch. Any business he invests in flourishes.”
“I would not have seen that man as the savvy business type, but I guess looks can be deceiving.”
“You have no idea.” What Annie didn’t know was that Pierce was a Kleinermann, a small troll like creature that traded wealth and magic at the expense of others. His first stepchild was given to him for a new car. The second for a mansion. The third was given in exchange for an acting career. Unfortunately each ‘wife’s’ fortune soon turned to tragedy after their wishes were complete, leaving the children alone under his spell.
Jeff snuck out while Annie was asleep to visit the trailer his Aunt had left him. He scoured the books, but the one scroll on the subject was in Polish.
He picked up his phone and dialed a number, “I need your help. Come to the trailer now.”
“Cool. Cool cool cool.”
Abed showed up shortly after the call and looked over the ancient scroll that belonged to the Grimm's.
“It says that a Kleinermann cannot have his own children, he’s impotent, therefore he barters for other people’s children. The more children he has, the more powerful he becomes. They will seem to exceed at insignificant things while causing destruction around them.”
“Such as a moist towelette empire, while each of his wives die mysterious deaths?”
“Exactly.”
“Does it say how to defeat him?”
“To release the spell one must simply utter the Kleinermann’s true name.”
“I know his name!”
“Not his true name.”
Jeff and Abed left hours later, nowhere closer to defeating the evil Pierce Hawthorne. As he climbed into bed, he woke Annie up.
“Where have you been?”
“Oh, just a case.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Jeff hesitated, how much could he tell her without telling her what he was?
“It’s about Pierce. There is an accusation against him but he has no priors under his name. I was thinking that maybe it’s an alias, but I have no clue what his real name is.”
“It’s Piercinald Anastasia Hawthorne.”
Jeff looked at Annie startled, “How do you know that?”
“Some old man came out in an strange looking wig and scolded him using that name. It reminded me of when my mom caught me doing something bad and used my full name to scold me. I assume it was his father. So I assume that is his real name.”
“Annie you are brilliant.”
“I know. Now would you please come back to bed?” Jeff snuggled in next to her. Pierce could wait another few hours.
Kleinnermann roughly translates to 'Little Man'
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Prompt #6: As the curse is broken, Jeff and Annie "wake up" to realize they are really Charming and Snow (or any other fairytale couple you prefer) who were transported to Greendale after the Evil Queen first cast the curse. Bonus points if you can come up with fairytale counterparts for the other group members. By Shli1117
Annie felt funny. There was a tingling that started in her heart and spread throughout her body. Her vision blurred as memories from long ago came rushing back to her. The bell to the diner sounded and she swung in her chair to see the tall outline of Jeff.
“Charming…”
“Snow…” The two rushed together and experienced true love’s kiss once more.
“Snow, Charming, we have to go. The evil queen must be dealt with.” Abed stood in the door with Troy at his side.
“Peter! Tink! It is so good to see you again.”
“I’d be happy if I hadn't continued to grow. I’m an adult now! I was meant to be a child forever!” Abed said while gesturing to his tall lanky body.
“You think you have it bad? Look at me? I’m huge! What happened to my beautiful dainty wings?” Troy cried in anger.
“Calm down you two, we have more important things to worry about. You mentioned the evil queen. Where is she?”
The two boys shared a look, “Well, she is no longer a she. It seems when the curse was cast she was transformed into a thin bald male.”
Jeff and Annie exchanged a look, “The dean! That would explain all of the strange outfits and why he is obsessed with Jeff!”
The four stormed out of the diner and ran into Britta.
“Do you remember magic stuff too, or am I just ridiculously high right now?”
“Robin Hood now is not the time. I know you are used to lazing about in the woods all day when you aren’t stealing from the rich but we have to deal with the evil Queen Pelton right now!” Annie cried.
“Well what are you going to do? Does the queen still have magic because if I recall correctly there is no magic here.”
“The blue fairy!” Abed cried. “She can help us. After all she turned Pierce… I mean Pinocchio into a real boy!”
Troy interrupted, “I’m getting confused. Should we call each other by our old names or our new names?”
Annie shrugged, “I have gotten use to the name Annie.”
“I’ve gotten used to my new name too.”
“Then it’s decided. We call each other by our new names. Now off to find Shirley and then defeat the Evil Dean Pelton!”
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Prompt #7 Annie takes Jeff to a place called Storybrooke in the Dreamatorium. By _carly_
Warning: Slight sexual situation. Nothing serious or graphic.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be a prince, but the prince has no idea who he is because he is…what now exactly?”
“Everyone was cursed and brought into our world, to the town of Storybrooke. They have no recollection of who they really are because the evil queen took away our happy endings.”
“So I’m pretending to be an average guy?”
“Jeff you aren’t taking this seriously!”
“How can I? I’m in a green striped room, being told to use my imagination to become a prince.”
“Not a prince! Aladdin was a street kid.”
“Ah, so a homeless person then. Why didn’t ask Abed to do this?”
“Because I didn’t want him to be Scott!”
“Who’s Scott?”
“Aladdin’s name in our world!”
“And who are you supposed to be? Please give me our world and fairy tale names so I can try to keep this straight.”
“Princess Jasmine/Olive.”
Jeff scratched his head. “And you thought I’d be the best person to be Aladdin?”
Rolling her eyes, “Of course. He is a street smart handsome young man, who can talk his way out of anything. He also
pretends to be something he is not to get the princess. Plus he has great abs, so I'd say you are a pretty good Aladdin.”
“Annie, if you wanted me to take my shirt off, all you had to do was ask.” He said while lifting his shirt up over his head. Annie’s face flushed as she took in his naked chest.
“So it was Olive right?”
Annie’s glazed eyes raised to meet Jeff’s, “Huh?”
“Olive right?”
Her smile widen when she realized he was going along with it.
“Yes, my name is Olive. What is your name?”
A crooked grin crossed his face, “My name is Scott. Your father hired me to landscape.”
As the two got into their role playing, the room morphed into the town of Storybrooke. Olive stood in front of a stately mansion, talking to her father’s newest landscaper. There was something about him that seemed familiar. Something that made her feel alive again. Gazing into his eyes she knew she’d follow him to the ends of the Earth and back.
“Want to go back to my place?”
A blushed crept up her neck at his boldness, but she conceded. The room morphed into a crappy studio apartment with a bed and a single hotplate. A cat ran up to greet them when they entered.
“What’s her name?”
“It’s a he, and his name is monkey.”
“Ah. Cute.”
“Are you nervous? We don’t have to do this.” She wasn’t sure if he was talking to her as Olive or as Annie, but either way, she was not backing down. She grabbed his face and brought his mouth to hers. His tongue was quickly introduced to the warm cavern of her mouth. Since he was already shirtless, her small hands had free reign to trail over his muscled form.
Her shirt soon hit the floor. Scott slowly lowered Olive to the floor while trailing kisses down her throat to her bra line.
“A turquoise bra? Aren’t you a naughty girl…” As he pulled the cup down to get better access to her breast the door flung open.
Troy and Abed’s excited chatter over their latest adventure abruptly stopped.
“The Dreamatorium wasn’t made for this!”
“I concur, that’s what your bedroom is for.”
Annie huffed while putting her shirt back on, “Well some people,” glaring at the two, “Blocked the way to my room.”
“Well it’s unblocked now! Now go so we can cleanse this place.”
“Come on Jeff,” Jeff grabbed his shirt and followed Annie out of the room.
“That was hot.”
“The role playing, or getting caught by my roommates?”
“Both. I’d rather not have Troy and Abed looking at your unmentionables again, but if you want to visit Storybrooke again, give me a call. ”
Jasmine is part of the Olive family and Scott was the name of the actor who voiced Aladdin in the Disney movie.