Give Me Your Heart And Your Soul (Chapter Six)
Title: Give Me Your Heart And Your Soul (6/??)
Author: wesaysummerrr
Rating: pg-13 - swearing.
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Third
Summary: Alex gets forced into art classes over the summer . . . but is this a bad thing?
Disclaimer: I don't in any way own these guys. In no way is this true, and unless they both decided to take spontaneous art classes it’s all lies. Title belongs to Muse - Hysteria. Cut belongs to - There For Tomorrow - Stories.
Author Notes: okay, so apologies for the delay in updating, and for the length of this chapter. got carried away, but y'know how it is. and i'm rambling - i'll leave you to gobble this one up, and maybe leave a comment after?
chapter one. chapter two. chapter three. chapter four. chapter five.
"Alright, alright, that's enough. Mr. Gaskarth, face the front please."
It was three weeks after things hit rock bottom at Alex's home. Three weeks since his father had lost all control and had lunged at his son. The small cut on Alex's eyebrow was the only physical evidence that it had occurred. The emotional aftermath, however, was still very much alive and kicking.
Alex couldn't get over it. He couldn't help but to clench his jaw and curl his hands into fists at even the mention of his father, it was almost instinctive. Of course, Alex had never really loved his father, the relationship at home had settled into something that could be described as a painful, grudging acquaintance, rather than love. His father didn't love him like a father should love a son. He was ashamed by Alex, agonised by the dissapointment that forced him to deny the fact that he had any children, rather than admitting to have raised a son like Alex.
Jumping at the sound of his own name being called, Alex flicked his eyes towards the front of the room, to see the teacher staring expectantly at him. Allowing his eyes to flutter closed for a moment, to gather up his thoughts and stuff them to the back of his mind, Alex slowly swivelled in his seat. He couldn't be bothered with confrontation, it was just better to get the staff off his back.
But someone other than Jack seemed determined to stay with him.
The fair haired boy sitting two tables, well-built for someone his age, with friendly features and kind brown eyes. Zack.
Ever since the first band practice, Alex had taken a liking to Zack. There was just something about how the boy held himself when around others - it was, dignified, thoughtful. Zack had a presence that Alex had not encountered among people his own age, too many people swearing at the top of their voice and throwing threats around if you so much as looked at them in a way they didn't like. It was pathetic, really.
A small smile tugged Zack's lips up at the momentary eye contact, and Alex fought to reply. He struggled to regain awareness of his surroundings, angry thoughts and schemes flying around his head like there was no tomorrow.
"Mr. Gaskarth, what did I just say?" Alex jumped, again, and jerked his head up once more to see Mr. Harold giving him an exasperated look. Heat flushed Alex's cheeks as the entire room turned to stare at him, some faces portraying maliciously amused smirks, other a fondness that went deeper, some couldn't care less, and yet some looked faintly queasy, as though last nights party escape was catching up with them.
Alex stuttered, self-consciousness sabotaging his vocal cords. "Uh...I...I don't know. I wasn't listening."
And yet despite the embarrassment that heated his cheeks, Alex couldn't help the wave of anger that surged through him at the expression on Mr. Harold's face. It was condescending. And Alex didn't need anyone else looking at him like that.
Staring down at his fists, Alex felt sudden anger trembling in his limbs, tendons cording and standing out in his forearms. He'd had enough of being pushed around by people who thought themselves better than him. Standing up sharply, throwing the chair back onto the floor, he stared hard into the surprised brown eyes of the teacher. Without a word, he grabbed the shoulder strap of his backpack and stormed out of the room, taking care to keep his eyes on the ones that narrowed at him.
Slamming the door on the sentence that disfigured Mr. Harold's mouth, Alex gritted his teeth at the rage that boiled in his eyes. He dropped his bag and threw a punch at the lockers that lined the corridor, biting back the pain that exploded in his hand as metal crunched under his knuckles. He tasted blood in his mouth, teeth slicing through the delicate skin on his lips. It was horribly salty and yet coated his tongue with a sugar that churned his stomach. Bitter-sweet.
Keeping his face blank, Alex tuned out the pain that felt like a knife plunging into his hand with every second. He removed himself from the sounds around him, the weight of his backpack on his shoulders, and the buzzing in his head.
Pulling his hood up over his face, Alex stepped his pace up and jogged out of the school, throwing open the double doors and running down the path that lead out into the car park. Swerving between the glistening metal bodies, he ran out of the gates and down the road.
He didn't know where he was going, and right now, Alex didn't care. Grimacing at how the rucksack made running difficult, he stopped and shrugged the bag from his shoulders. Letting the rough fabric slip through his fingers, the bag dropped to the tarmac with a resounding thud, and Alex walked away without a second glance back.
He didn't need anything. He had his phone and a couple of notes in his pockets.
As Alex ran, the things that he had tried to shut out burst through the wall he put up in his mind. The look on his mother's face when she saw what her husband had done to her son. The anger in the eyes of his father that had burned Alex more than the pain in his face. What his mother had done.
The expression on her face when she saw Alex, sprawled on the floor clutching his face, and her husband standing over him, fist stilled clenched and expression flawed. It crushed Alex. The look in her eyes told him everything - that she wasn't ever going to be able to do anything about this. She couldn't. She wasn't strong enough, and for some God-forsaken reason, she loved the man who hated her son.
Alex's face screwed up as he jogged down a little gravel path, twisting away from the roads and somewhere Alex wouldn't see any cheerful faces, untroubled by the pain that ravaged his chest.
Breathing hard, Alex's knees gave out and he slid down the wide trunk of an oak tree that stood alone, comforted and supported by its own strength. Something that Alex needed. Collapsing in on himself, he brooded on dark thoughts and unsaid plans, to help him escape this depression that was taking hold.
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The guitar's screeches rang off the walls, reverberating back into the room that was filled with the sounds of teenage angst, love, loss, pain and anger. Rian battered the drum kit relentlessly, caught up in the whirl of emotions that tore lyrics from Alex's mouth as he sang into the microphone, fingers working over the strings on his guitar.
Alex was thankful for this. For the band that was slowly forming, an the outlet that it offered.
Jack frowned over his guitar, eyes focused on the strings as his fingers glided over the neck of the guitar, creating a perfect harmony with Alex's, as Zack strummed on the bass, quiet and introvert as always.
Holding a note, Alex screamed the last word into the microphone until his vocal cords hurt, letting out only a small percentage of the anger that threatened to destroy him from the inside out. His eyes were screwed shut, and soon his voice was the only sound left in the garage, all noise from the guitars and drums faded out deliberately.
Cutting his voice off, Alex bent his head and pushed it against the microphone, eyes still closed, fingers still resting on the last note he played on the guitar. A hand on his shoulder had Alex spinning around, eyes snapping open and wild, half-expecting another outburst of violence.
But it was just Jack.
Alex let out a gusty sigh, the tension in his body melting away as he stared into the chocolate brown eyes that were shadowed by the frown on his forehead. Jack brushed his hair out of his eyes with slender fingers, before fixing his eyes on the floor, kicking a loose bit of carpet.
"Alex, are you okay? I mean, I know what you're going through at home and I - " Alex cut him off, suddenly angry.
"No, you don't Jack. You don't have any idea what its like to be me." Alex snapped, eyes narrowing at the innocence in Jack's. Then he realised what he said. Hanging his head, Alex sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I know you want to help, but, it just gets too much sometimes."
To his surprise Alex heard Jack laugh once, but it was bitter, tainted. A sad smile on his face. "I know. And you're right, I don't know what it's like, but that is why I want to help." He paused, smiling a little more now. "And that's why you're staying over mine for the weekend. Unless I decide to kidnap you, then you'll be staying with me until I get bored of you." He winked slyly.
Despite everything, Alex laughed. He laughed at the optimism that Jack had, and how he managed to make Alex feel so much better, by just being around. Biting his lip, Alex chanced a look around and saw that the garage was empty, and heard Rian and Zack's footsteps above them, in the kitchen.
Bringing his eyes back round, Alex leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jack's, smiling into the kiss as he felt Jack take in a breath. The warmth that was Jack enveloped Alex: the skin that pressed against Alex's through cotton t-shirts, the hand that fisted in Alex's hair while another rested on his hip, fingers digging in slightly, and the hot breath that washed over his face as Alex pulled back.
But Jack had other ideas. Using the hand that was on Alex's hip, Jack pulled him closer again, fingers lacing in his hair tighter. Alex felt Jack's lips on his once more, the pressure changing as Alex kissed him back, sighing contentedly. But then something shifted.
The atmosphere changed, and the kiss was suddenly more passionate, desperate than any other they had shared previously. Alex shivered as Jack trailed his tongue lightly along his bottom lip, his hips tingling under the touch. Moving a hand to tangle itself in Jack's hair, Alex opened his mouth hesitantly, the warmth of Jack's tongue pressing against the corner of his mouth. Jack's tongue slipped into his mouth almost immediately. Alex gasped, but as Jack's tongue swished against the roof of his mouth, he pushed himself closer to the other boy, muffling the moan in the back of his throat, his breath getting shorter.
Unsure, Alex snaked his tongue out to meet Jack's pressing his body closer into the other boy, feeling Jack's belt buckle dig in to Alex's abdomen. A groan from Jack's throat caught Alex by surprise, and he gained a little confidence. Swiping his tongue along Jack's lower lip, he caught it between his teeth and pulled gently, increasing the distance between them and smiling as Jack whined softly.
Breaking the contact, Alex found himself panting a little, his nose touching Jack's, whose eyes were still half-closed, humming to himself as a smile stretched across his face. Jack raised his hand to trail his fingers across Alex's cheekbone, smiling more to himself now.
"I'm so glad I have you to myself tonight," he murmured, pecking Alex's lips briefly.
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Alex looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was sticking out in all directions, and refused to co-operate regardless of the liberal amounts of hair gel he put in it. Shrugging off his shirt, Alex tugged on a red and white plaid shirt and buttoned it, flattening down the creases as he checked his reflection.
He would never usually spend this amount of time, staring at himself in the mirror; but today was different. He was staying the night at Jack's, and he wanted to look presentable.
"Fuck," Alex muttered, spotting a stain on the shirt from a meal, that hadn't washed out. Grimacing he yanked the shirt off, and flung it into his wash bin, throwing around the clothes in his wardrobe in a desperate search to find something half-decent.
"Fuck," he repeated, ripping clothes out of his way to find that most of them were missing, scattered around his room or in the wash. Tugging the last remaining checked shirt from its hanger, he measured it up to himself and wrinkled his nose. The shirt was at least three years old, but it was clean. Slipping his arms through the sleeves he buttoned the shirt and stepped back over to the mirror.
He groaned. It was tight, hugging his body and accentuating his hip bones - more than he would have liked. But nothing could be done now, it was 6:40PM already, and he said he would be at Jack's at 7:00PM. Grabbing a rucksack and chucking a few essentials in, his eyes swept around the room, checking he had everything. Satisfied, he grabbed the keys that were on his bed and twisted the lock on his door, so that it was locked when he shut it.
Hurrying down the stairs, Alex chugged down the last of the orange juice and stuffed his feet into his converse, hiding his disgust at his father's jacket that hung on the pegs with a muffled groan. Unwilling to encounter the man, Alex pulled sharply on the front door handle and slipped out, bag on his shoulder.
Jumping into his faded black Clio, Alex chucked his bag onto the passengers seat and twisted the key in the ignition. Slamming his door and clicking the seat belt on, he jammed the gear stick into reverse and stepped on the gas, eager to get away from this house.
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"You're late," was Jack's answering reply to the doorbell. Alex opened his mouth to apologise, fully aware that it was now 7:30PM. But the fuel gauge on his car had screamed empty at him, and he'd needed to fill up, or risked breaking down on the way.
But Jack cut him off, a smile transforming his cleverly blanked expression. "I'm kidding, bro. Relax!" He opened the door wider, letting Alex in, who punched Jack lightly on the arm.
"Don't do that to me, man. I thought you were pissed," but he couldn't be serious. Just the sight of Jack, and his tall, slim frame, dyed blonde fringe and kind features, lifted his otherwise crushed spirits. But Jack was looking at something else. His eyes raked up and down Alex, taking in how his old shirt clung to his body, not leaving much to the imagination. Alex felt naked from the intensity in Jack's eyes.
"Dude, do you mind not checking me out the minute I walk in the door?" Alex laughed, setting his bag down and kicking off his shoes, noticing the plain black shirt and skinny jeans Jack was wearing. Great. Now he felt overdressed.
Jack laughed. "Stop being so hot then." Alex raised his eyebrows at him, earning himself the sight of a pink-cheeked Jack. Which was almost unbearably cute. Not to mention how good he looked in black.
Alex snapped out of it, shaking his head slightly and wandering over into the kitchen, headed straight for the cupboard that contained the junk. Pulling on the door, he was aware of two hands on his hips suddenly, fingers teasing the skin that was exposed as Alex reached for the pastries. Jack’s fingers trailed over a sensitive spot, and had Alex squealing and wriggling away from the contact.
“Don’t…not there,” he said, deepening his voice to regain some of his masculinity. A grin showed Jack’s pearly whites, and Alex had to stop himself kissing him, right then.
“So, Alex is ticklish, eh?” Jack mocked, fingers still holding Alex’s hipbones, thumbs pressed onto the skin there.
“Don’t even think about it,” Alex warned, shifting out of Jack’s hands and ripping open the packet of savoury pastries with his teeth, stomach rumbling as he held one in his mouth and put the rest back. He knew Jack was up to something, it had gone quiet. The lack of noise made him suspect something when it came to someone like Jack, and he whipped around, just in time. Guessing right, his eyes locked on Jack, who had been sneaking up behind him, hands outstretched in an attempt to poke Alex in the ribs.
“You little fucker,” Alex laughed, swatting away Jack’s hands and placing himself tantalisingly close to the other, brushing his nose along Jack’s jaw line, smiling. “See, now you’ve made me think twice about kissing you. Had you not tried to violate me, we’d have been locked in a passionate embrace by now.” Alex made his voice wistful, jesting in its sophistication. Jack grabbed his free hand, eyebrow quirking.
“Who says that can’t happen?” His expression was devilish, and Alex wriggled his free hand from his grasp and placed a finger on Jack’s lips, pushing him away. Popping the last morsel of the pastry into his mouth, Alex smiled at Jack and sauntered over to the lounge, the tv remote in his view. It would be nice just to relax for once, not having to worry when anyone was going to be home, or what they would do when they saw him. It was just him and Jack.
Who was suddenly running at Alex. Hearing the thundering footsteps behind him, no more than a second passed as Alex tried to turn around and avoid being bowled over. But that was exactly what Jack had in mind. Hitting Alex full speed, Jack prodded and poked lightly at the sensitive skin on Alex’s side, causing the other boy to yell and laugh uncontrollably. Stumbling from the impact, the back of Alex’s calves met sofa, and then he was falling backwards with Jack on top of him. Throwing out his arms, Alex rolled over himself backwards, landing in a messy heap of arms and legs on the sofa, swearing and wriggling underneath Jack.
Jack lifted himself clear of Alex for a moment, before settling again, straddling Alex. His face was twisted up into a smile, laughter filling the silence from both boys. Alex squirmed slightly underneath Jack, but it was only to get a better view of the boy on top of him, whose hands rested on his hips, eyes gazing into Alex’s. Freeing an arm, Alex lifted it to brush the hair from Jack’s forehead, biting his lip.
“So, what do you feel like doing?” Alex asked the question perfectly innocently, and he laughed at Jack’s reaction. He could practically see the thought processing in his mind, the cogs turning in a plan.
“Well, right now, I really want to kiss you.” And with that, he leant forward, hand coming up to rest beside Alex’s head, supporting his weight. Closing the distance between them, Jack pressed his lips to Alex’s, teeth nipping at his bottom lip in a suggestion. Alex had a hand on Jack’s thigh, whilst the other tangled itself in his dark hair, bringing the boy’s face even closer to his own. Jack pressed his tongue against Alex’s lips lightly, thumb rubbing circles on Alex’s hipbone.
Alex didn’t need telling twice, opening his mouth in a sigh, Jack slipped his tongue in and swiped it across the roof of Alex’s mouth, eliciting a soft moan from the back of Alex’s throat, hand pressing harder on the back of Jack’s neck. Alex shifted his hands, fingers closing on the bottom of Jack’s shirt, then brushing the skin underneath, as Jack leaned into the contact. Alex ran his fingertips over the milky white skin of Jack’s hipbones, tongue pressing against Jack’s as he worked his tongue into the other boys mouth. Jack moaned quietly and drew away, pressing quick kisses to Alex’s lips, the side of his mouth, cheekbones and along his jaw line.
The warmth of Alex’s fingers on Jack’s skin had shivers tingling in his spine, and butterflies erupting in his stomach, as his mouth pressed down on the skin on Alex’s neck, sucking lightly at the skin and teeth nipping tenderly before he smoothed his tongue over the pink blossom of blood that rose to the surface. Drawing his head back, he met Alex’s lips in a sweet kiss, before sitting back and admiring the boy underneath him, hair perfectly messy and a haphazard blush on his cheekbones.
“Let’s watch a movie,” Jack whispered, fingers trailing over Alex’s forehead, before he ran them through the brown hair. He laughed, “Your hair looks like you’ve just had sex.”
Alex grinned, the colour in his cheeks only deepening as he averted Jack’s gaze. “It tends to do that,” but he laughed, eyes locking on something to his left. “Shit, Jack. You didn’t tell me you had that many dvd’s.”
Jack sighed, and lifted himself off of Alex, letting him scramble over to the case on the wall, lined with films. Alex exclaimed something Jack didn’t quite catch, and then he was rushing back over to him, jumping onto the sofa and tucking his legs up against his chest like a little kid.
“Let’s watch this one!” The grin that showed his teeth reached his eyes, and Jack couldn’t deny him. It was like being on cloud nine seeing Alex this relaxed.
“Sure, whatever.” Grabbing the remote, Jack slotted the disc into the dvd player and sat back on the sofa, joined by Alex almost immediately. His movements were hesitant, yet focused. Alex lay against Jack’s side, head nuzzled into the crook of his neck, nose pressing against his jaw line.
Alex sighed in contentment. He was more than happy to just sit here for eternity, comforted by the steady rhythm of Jack’s heart, beating in his chest as Alex curled into him.
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Fingers tensed on the hard plastic of the phone, Alex chanced a glance around him, sure he heard a footstep close by. But he forced himself to relax. He was at Jack’s house, nothing could happen to him here.
Jabbing his thumb on the last digit that completed the number, Alex took a shaky breath and swallowed convulsively. He had never summoned the courage to take it this far before, his hand trembled at his side and he stared numbly out of the window. What did he do now? What should he say? Alex just wanted to throw the phone the other side of the room, run back up the stairs and lie back down with Jack, smothering himself in the other boy.
But he couldn’t. His breath hitched in his throat as someone picked up the line on the other side, and he could hear the sounds of a phone centre behind the voice that rang in his ears. Alex fought the urge to hold the phone closer to his and shush them, desperate to avoid discovery.
“Hello?” Alex murmured. “My name is Alex, and I need to - ”
“Alex?” A voice sounded behind him.
Alex thought he might have died from shock. Yelling aloud, cutting the line on the phone and spinning around to stare wildly behind him in no more than a split second, Alex’s heart was thrumming in his chest, threatening to take off.
But it was just Jack. Eyes still glued shut from sleep, hair a mess and practically naked apart from boxers. Still.
“What’re you doing?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes in circles, voice thick. Alex shifted the phone so that it was behind him, and struggled to regain composure.
“O - Oh, nothing…I - I just couldn’t sleep. So, y’know, just…came down here.” His voice was off, and he was blinking too much. Alex could almost imagine the expression on his face. Screaming out the fact that he was lying through his teeth.
But Jack was too groggy to notice. “M’kay.” Breathing out heavily, Alex shivered as the cold seeped into his bare skin, hugging his arms around his naked torso, shifting towards the other boy as he motioned for Alex to get hi s butt back up the stairs.
Guilt gnawed at Alex’s chest at the ease that he had told Jack a lie. Nerves buffeted his stomach, and fear attacked plain reason as he fell in step behind Jack, biting furiously at his bottom lip.
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Author: wesaysummerrr
Rating: pg-13 - swearing.
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Third
Summary: Alex gets forced into art classes over the summer . . . but is this a bad thing?
Disclaimer: I don't in any way own these guys. In no way is this true, and unless they both decided to take spontaneous art classes it’s all lies. Title belongs to Muse - Hysteria. Cut belongs to - There For Tomorrow - Stories.
Author Notes: okay, so apologies for the delay in updating, and for the length of this chapter. got carried away, but y'know how it is. and i'm rambling - i'll leave you to gobble this one up, and maybe leave a comment after?
chapter one. chapter two. chapter three. chapter four. chapter five.
"Alright, alright, that's enough. Mr. Gaskarth, face the front please."
It was three weeks after things hit rock bottom at Alex's home. Three weeks since his father had lost all control and had lunged at his son. The small cut on Alex's eyebrow was the only physical evidence that it had occurred. The emotional aftermath, however, was still very much alive and kicking.
Alex couldn't get over it. He couldn't help but to clench his jaw and curl his hands into fists at even the mention of his father, it was almost instinctive. Of course, Alex had never really loved his father, the relationship at home had settled into something that could be described as a painful, grudging acquaintance, rather than love. His father didn't love him like a father should love a son. He was ashamed by Alex, agonised by the dissapointment that forced him to deny the fact that he had any children, rather than admitting to have raised a son like Alex.
Jumping at the sound of his own name being called, Alex flicked his eyes towards the front of the room, to see the teacher staring expectantly at him. Allowing his eyes to flutter closed for a moment, to gather up his thoughts and stuff them to the back of his mind, Alex slowly swivelled in his seat. He couldn't be bothered with confrontation, it was just better to get the staff off his back.
But someone other than Jack seemed determined to stay with him.
The fair haired boy sitting two tables, well-built for someone his age, with friendly features and kind brown eyes. Zack.
Ever since the first band practice, Alex had taken a liking to Zack. There was just something about how the boy held himself when around others - it was, dignified, thoughtful. Zack had a presence that Alex had not encountered among people his own age, too many people swearing at the top of their voice and throwing threats around if you so much as looked at them in a way they didn't like. It was pathetic, really.
A small smile tugged Zack's lips up at the momentary eye contact, and Alex fought to reply. He struggled to regain awareness of his surroundings, angry thoughts and schemes flying around his head like there was no tomorrow.
"Mr. Gaskarth, what did I just say?" Alex jumped, again, and jerked his head up once more to see Mr. Harold giving him an exasperated look. Heat flushed Alex's cheeks as the entire room turned to stare at him, some faces portraying maliciously amused smirks, other a fondness that went deeper, some couldn't care less, and yet some looked faintly queasy, as though last nights party escape was catching up with them.
Alex stuttered, self-consciousness sabotaging his vocal cords. "Uh...I...I don't know. I wasn't listening."
And yet despite the embarrassment that heated his cheeks, Alex couldn't help the wave of anger that surged through him at the expression on Mr. Harold's face. It was condescending. And Alex didn't need anyone else looking at him like that.
Staring down at his fists, Alex felt sudden anger trembling in his limbs, tendons cording and standing out in his forearms. He'd had enough of being pushed around by people who thought themselves better than him. Standing up sharply, throwing the chair back onto the floor, he stared hard into the surprised brown eyes of the teacher. Without a word, he grabbed the shoulder strap of his backpack and stormed out of the room, taking care to keep his eyes on the ones that narrowed at him.
Slamming the door on the sentence that disfigured Mr. Harold's mouth, Alex gritted his teeth at the rage that boiled in his eyes. He dropped his bag and threw a punch at the lockers that lined the corridor, biting back the pain that exploded in his hand as metal crunched under his knuckles. He tasted blood in his mouth, teeth slicing through the delicate skin on his lips. It was horribly salty and yet coated his tongue with a sugar that churned his stomach. Bitter-sweet.
Keeping his face blank, Alex tuned out the pain that felt like a knife plunging into his hand with every second. He removed himself from the sounds around him, the weight of his backpack on his shoulders, and the buzzing in his head.
Pulling his hood up over his face, Alex stepped his pace up and jogged out of the school, throwing open the double doors and running down the path that lead out into the car park. Swerving between the glistening metal bodies, he ran out of the gates and down the road.
He didn't know where he was going, and right now, Alex didn't care. Grimacing at how the rucksack made running difficult, he stopped and shrugged the bag from his shoulders. Letting the rough fabric slip through his fingers, the bag dropped to the tarmac with a resounding thud, and Alex walked away without a second glance back.
He didn't need anything. He had his phone and a couple of notes in his pockets.
As Alex ran, the things that he had tried to shut out burst through the wall he put up in his mind. The look on his mother's face when she saw what her husband had done to her son. The anger in the eyes of his father that had burned Alex more than the pain in his face. What his mother had done.
The expression on her face when she saw Alex, sprawled on the floor clutching his face, and her husband standing over him, fist stilled clenched and expression flawed. It crushed Alex. The look in her eyes told him everything - that she wasn't ever going to be able to do anything about this. She couldn't. She wasn't strong enough, and for some God-forsaken reason, she loved the man who hated her son.
Alex's face screwed up as he jogged down a little gravel path, twisting away from the roads and somewhere Alex wouldn't see any cheerful faces, untroubled by the pain that ravaged his chest.
Breathing hard, Alex's knees gave out and he slid down the wide trunk of an oak tree that stood alone, comforted and supported by its own strength. Something that Alex needed. Collapsing in on himself, he brooded on dark thoughts and unsaid plans, to help him escape this depression that was taking hold.
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The guitar's screeches rang off the walls, reverberating back into the room that was filled with the sounds of teenage angst, love, loss, pain and anger. Rian battered the drum kit relentlessly, caught up in the whirl of emotions that tore lyrics from Alex's mouth as he sang into the microphone, fingers working over the strings on his guitar.
Alex was thankful for this. For the band that was slowly forming, an the outlet that it offered.
Jack frowned over his guitar, eyes focused on the strings as his fingers glided over the neck of the guitar, creating a perfect harmony with Alex's, as Zack strummed on the bass, quiet and introvert as always.
Holding a note, Alex screamed the last word into the microphone until his vocal cords hurt, letting out only a small percentage of the anger that threatened to destroy him from the inside out. His eyes were screwed shut, and soon his voice was the only sound left in the garage, all noise from the guitars and drums faded out deliberately.
Cutting his voice off, Alex bent his head and pushed it against the microphone, eyes still closed, fingers still resting on the last note he played on the guitar. A hand on his shoulder had Alex spinning around, eyes snapping open and wild, half-expecting another outburst of violence.
But it was just Jack.
Alex let out a gusty sigh, the tension in his body melting away as he stared into the chocolate brown eyes that were shadowed by the frown on his forehead. Jack brushed his hair out of his eyes with slender fingers, before fixing his eyes on the floor, kicking a loose bit of carpet.
"Alex, are you okay? I mean, I know what you're going through at home and I - " Alex cut him off, suddenly angry.
"No, you don't Jack. You don't have any idea what its like to be me." Alex snapped, eyes narrowing at the innocence in Jack's. Then he realised what he said. Hanging his head, Alex sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I know you want to help, but, it just gets too much sometimes."
To his surprise Alex heard Jack laugh once, but it was bitter, tainted. A sad smile on his face. "I know. And you're right, I don't know what it's like, but that is why I want to help." He paused, smiling a little more now. "And that's why you're staying over mine for the weekend. Unless I decide to kidnap you, then you'll be staying with me until I get bored of you." He winked slyly.
Despite everything, Alex laughed. He laughed at the optimism that Jack had, and how he managed to make Alex feel so much better, by just being around. Biting his lip, Alex chanced a look around and saw that the garage was empty, and heard Rian and Zack's footsteps above them, in the kitchen.
Bringing his eyes back round, Alex leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jack's, smiling into the kiss as he felt Jack take in a breath. The warmth that was Jack enveloped Alex: the skin that pressed against Alex's through cotton t-shirts, the hand that fisted in Alex's hair while another rested on his hip, fingers digging in slightly, and the hot breath that washed over his face as Alex pulled back.
But Jack had other ideas. Using the hand that was on Alex's hip, Jack pulled him closer again, fingers lacing in his hair tighter. Alex felt Jack's lips on his once more, the pressure changing as Alex kissed him back, sighing contentedly. But then something shifted.
The atmosphere changed, and the kiss was suddenly more passionate, desperate than any other they had shared previously. Alex shivered as Jack trailed his tongue lightly along his bottom lip, his hips tingling under the touch. Moving a hand to tangle itself in Jack's hair, Alex opened his mouth hesitantly, the warmth of Jack's tongue pressing against the corner of his mouth. Jack's tongue slipped into his mouth almost immediately. Alex gasped, but as Jack's tongue swished against the roof of his mouth, he pushed himself closer to the other boy, muffling the moan in the back of his throat, his breath getting shorter.
Unsure, Alex snaked his tongue out to meet Jack's pressing his body closer into the other boy, feeling Jack's belt buckle dig in to Alex's abdomen. A groan from Jack's throat caught Alex by surprise, and he gained a little confidence. Swiping his tongue along Jack's lower lip, he caught it between his teeth and pulled gently, increasing the distance between them and smiling as Jack whined softly.
Breaking the contact, Alex found himself panting a little, his nose touching Jack's, whose eyes were still half-closed, humming to himself as a smile stretched across his face. Jack raised his hand to trail his fingers across Alex's cheekbone, smiling more to himself now.
"I'm so glad I have you to myself tonight," he murmured, pecking Alex's lips briefly.
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Alex looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was sticking out in all directions, and refused to co-operate regardless of the liberal amounts of hair gel he put in it. Shrugging off his shirt, Alex tugged on a red and white plaid shirt and buttoned it, flattening down the creases as he checked his reflection.
He would never usually spend this amount of time, staring at himself in the mirror; but today was different. He was staying the night at Jack's, and he wanted to look presentable.
"Fuck," Alex muttered, spotting a stain on the shirt from a meal, that hadn't washed out. Grimacing he yanked the shirt off, and flung it into his wash bin, throwing around the clothes in his wardrobe in a desperate search to find something half-decent.
"Fuck," he repeated, ripping clothes out of his way to find that most of them were missing, scattered around his room or in the wash. Tugging the last remaining checked shirt from its hanger, he measured it up to himself and wrinkled his nose. The shirt was at least three years old, but it was clean. Slipping his arms through the sleeves he buttoned the shirt and stepped back over to the mirror.
He groaned. It was tight, hugging his body and accentuating his hip bones - more than he would have liked. But nothing could be done now, it was 6:40PM already, and he said he would be at Jack's at 7:00PM. Grabbing a rucksack and chucking a few essentials in, his eyes swept around the room, checking he had everything. Satisfied, he grabbed the keys that were on his bed and twisted the lock on his door, so that it was locked when he shut it.
Hurrying down the stairs, Alex chugged down the last of the orange juice and stuffed his feet into his converse, hiding his disgust at his father's jacket that hung on the pegs with a muffled groan. Unwilling to encounter the man, Alex pulled sharply on the front door handle and slipped out, bag on his shoulder.
Jumping into his faded black Clio, Alex chucked his bag onto the passengers seat and twisted the key in the ignition. Slamming his door and clicking the seat belt on, he jammed the gear stick into reverse and stepped on the gas, eager to get away from this house.
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"You're late," was Jack's answering reply to the doorbell. Alex opened his mouth to apologise, fully aware that it was now 7:30PM. But the fuel gauge on his car had screamed empty at him, and he'd needed to fill up, or risked breaking down on the way.
But Jack cut him off, a smile transforming his cleverly blanked expression. "I'm kidding, bro. Relax!" He opened the door wider, letting Alex in, who punched Jack lightly on the arm.
"Don't do that to me, man. I thought you were pissed," but he couldn't be serious. Just the sight of Jack, and his tall, slim frame, dyed blonde fringe and kind features, lifted his otherwise crushed spirits. But Jack was looking at something else. His eyes raked up and down Alex, taking in how his old shirt clung to his body, not leaving much to the imagination. Alex felt naked from the intensity in Jack's eyes.
"Dude, do you mind not checking me out the minute I walk in the door?" Alex laughed, setting his bag down and kicking off his shoes, noticing the plain black shirt and skinny jeans Jack was wearing. Great. Now he felt overdressed.
Jack laughed. "Stop being so hot then." Alex raised his eyebrows at him, earning himself the sight of a pink-cheeked Jack. Which was almost unbearably cute. Not to mention how good he looked in black.
Alex snapped out of it, shaking his head slightly and wandering over into the kitchen, headed straight for the cupboard that contained the junk. Pulling on the door, he was aware of two hands on his hips suddenly, fingers teasing the skin that was exposed as Alex reached for the pastries. Jack’s fingers trailed over a sensitive spot, and had Alex squealing and wriggling away from the contact.
“Don’t…not there,” he said, deepening his voice to regain some of his masculinity. A grin showed Jack’s pearly whites, and Alex had to stop himself kissing him, right then.
“So, Alex is ticklish, eh?” Jack mocked, fingers still holding Alex’s hipbones, thumbs pressed onto the skin there.
“Don’t even think about it,” Alex warned, shifting out of Jack’s hands and ripping open the packet of savoury pastries with his teeth, stomach rumbling as he held one in his mouth and put the rest back. He knew Jack was up to something, it had gone quiet. The lack of noise made him suspect something when it came to someone like Jack, and he whipped around, just in time. Guessing right, his eyes locked on Jack, who had been sneaking up behind him, hands outstretched in an attempt to poke Alex in the ribs.
“You little fucker,” Alex laughed, swatting away Jack’s hands and placing himself tantalisingly close to the other, brushing his nose along Jack’s jaw line, smiling. “See, now you’ve made me think twice about kissing you. Had you not tried to violate me, we’d have been locked in a passionate embrace by now.” Alex made his voice wistful, jesting in its sophistication. Jack grabbed his free hand, eyebrow quirking.
“Who says that can’t happen?” His expression was devilish, and Alex wriggled his free hand from his grasp and placed a finger on Jack’s lips, pushing him away. Popping the last morsel of the pastry into his mouth, Alex smiled at Jack and sauntered over to the lounge, the tv remote in his view. It would be nice just to relax for once, not having to worry when anyone was going to be home, or what they would do when they saw him. It was just him and Jack.
Who was suddenly running at Alex. Hearing the thundering footsteps behind him, no more than a second passed as Alex tried to turn around and avoid being bowled over. But that was exactly what Jack had in mind. Hitting Alex full speed, Jack prodded and poked lightly at the sensitive skin on Alex’s side, causing the other boy to yell and laugh uncontrollably. Stumbling from the impact, the back of Alex’s calves met sofa, and then he was falling backwards with Jack on top of him. Throwing out his arms, Alex rolled over himself backwards, landing in a messy heap of arms and legs on the sofa, swearing and wriggling underneath Jack.
Jack lifted himself clear of Alex for a moment, before settling again, straddling Alex. His face was twisted up into a smile, laughter filling the silence from both boys. Alex squirmed slightly underneath Jack, but it was only to get a better view of the boy on top of him, whose hands rested on his hips, eyes gazing into Alex’s. Freeing an arm, Alex lifted it to brush the hair from Jack’s forehead, biting his lip.
“So, what do you feel like doing?” Alex asked the question perfectly innocently, and he laughed at Jack’s reaction. He could practically see the thought processing in his mind, the cogs turning in a plan.
“Well, right now, I really want to kiss you.” And with that, he leant forward, hand coming up to rest beside Alex’s head, supporting his weight. Closing the distance between them, Jack pressed his lips to Alex’s, teeth nipping at his bottom lip in a suggestion. Alex had a hand on Jack’s thigh, whilst the other tangled itself in his dark hair, bringing the boy’s face even closer to his own. Jack pressed his tongue against Alex’s lips lightly, thumb rubbing circles on Alex’s hipbone.
Alex didn’t need telling twice, opening his mouth in a sigh, Jack slipped his tongue in and swiped it across the roof of Alex’s mouth, eliciting a soft moan from the back of Alex’s throat, hand pressing harder on the back of Jack’s neck. Alex shifted his hands, fingers closing on the bottom of Jack’s shirt, then brushing the skin underneath, as Jack leaned into the contact. Alex ran his fingertips over the milky white skin of Jack’s hipbones, tongue pressing against Jack’s as he worked his tongue into the other boys mouth. Jack moaned quietly and drew away, pressing quick kisses to Alex’s lips, the side of his mouth, cheekbones and along his jaw line.
The warmth of Alex’s fingers on Jack’s skin had shivers tingling in his spine, and butterflies erupting in his stomach, as his mouth pressed down on the skin on Alex’s neck, sucking lightly at the skin and teeth nipping tenderly before he smoothed his tongue over the pink blossom of blood that rose to the surface. Drawing his head back, he met Alex’s lips in a sweet kiss, before sitting back and admiring the boy underneath him, hair perfectly messy and a haphazard blush on his cheekbones.
“Let’s watch a movie,” Jack whispered, fingers trailing over Alex’s forehead, before he ran them through the brown hair. He laughed, “Your hair looks like you’ve just had sex.”
Alex grinned, the colour in his cheeks only deepening as he averted Jack’s gaze. “It tends to do that,” but he laughed, eyes locking on something to his left. “Shit, Jack. You didn’t tell me you had that many dvd’s.”
Jack sighed, and lifted himself off of Alex, letting him scramble over to the case on the wall, lined with films. Alex exclaimed something Jack didn’t quite catch, and then he was rushing back over to him, jumping onto the sofa and tucking his legs up against his chest like a little kid.
“Let’s watch this one!” The grin that showed his teeth reached his eyes, and Jack couldn’t deny him. It was like being on cloud nine seeing Alex this relaxed.
“Sure, whatever.” Grabbing the remote, Jack slotted the disc into the dvd player and sat back on the sofa, joined by Alex almost immediately. His movements were hesitant, yet focused. Alex lay against Jack’s side, head nuzzled into the crook of his neck, nose pressing against his jaw line.
Alex sighed in contentment. He was more than happy to just sit here for eternity, comforted by the steady rhythm of Jack’s heart, beating in his chest as Alex curled into him.
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Fingers tensed on the hard plastic of the phone, Alex chanced a glance around him, sure he heard a footstep close by. But he forced himself to relax. He was at Jack’s house, nothing could happen to him here.
Jabbing his thumb on the last digit that completed the number, Alex took a shaky breath and swallowed convulsively. He had never summoned the courage to take it this far before, his hand trembled at his side and he stared numbly out of the window. What did he do now? What should he say? Alex just wanted to throw the phone the other side of the room, run back up the stairs and lie back down with Jack, smothering himself in the other boy.
But he couldn’t. His breath hitched in his throat as someone picked up the line on the other side, and he could hear the sounds of a phone centre behind the voice that rang in his ears. Alex fought the urge to hold the phone closer to his and shush them, desperate to avoid discovery.
“Hello?” Alex murmured. “My name is Alex, and I need to - ”
“Alex?” A voice sounded behind him.
Alex thought he might have died from shock. Yelling aloud, cutting the line on the phone and spinning around to stare wildly behind him in no more than a split second, Alex’s heart was thrumming in his chest, threatening to take off.
But it was just Jack. Eyes still glued shut from sleep, hair a mess and practically naked apart from boxers. Still.
“What’re you doing?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes in circles, voice thick. Alex shifted the phone so that it was behind him, and struggled to regain composure.
“O - Oh, nothing…I - I just couldn’t sleep. So, y’know, just…came down here.” His voice was off, and he was blinking too much. Alex could almost imagine the expression on his face. Screaming out the fact that he was lying through his teeth.
But Jack was too groggy to notice. “M’kay.” Breathing out heavily, Alex shivered as the cold seeped into his bare skin, hugging his arms around his naked torso, shifting towards the other boy as he motioned for Alex to get hi s butt back up the stairs.
Guilt gnawed at Alex’s chest at the ease that he had told Jack a lie. Nerves buffeted his stomach, and fear attacked plain reason as he fell in step behind Jack, biting furiously at his bottom lip.
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