Save Me From Me 13/20
Title: Save Me From Me
Author: soolmates
Pairings: Merrikat
Rating: R for dark themes
Summary: Their past is painful and their future isn't bright. Will they be able to save each other?
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my imagination. Even my car is not completely mine yet.
Title belongs to Amber Pacific.
AN: I'm back & offering you a short chapter that is more of a filler to be honest but you finally get to know what happened to Zack. Yaay... or nah.
Chapter 13
A week had come and gone since they’d come back from Baltimore and Jack was starting to seriously worry about Zack. His boyfriend had been acting weird all week. He promised that everything was fine but he was being distant and secretive. Jack knew that something was up but he didn’t know what could be. He’d first thought that it had something to do with what had happened that night at his old place. He’d wondered if Zack had been as ready as he’d said or if he’d just done it in fear to lose him. But when the guitarist had cornered him in the shower for an early make-out session, he’d realized that their sex-life had nothing to do with his strange behavior. That’s when he’d started watching his boyfriend’s every move. He felt like an insecure creep but he didn’t know what else to do. He’d tried talking about it with Zack but the guitarist didn’t say much more than a few words every now and then. Jack didn’t know much about the current situation but he knew that the letters he’d found under Zack’s bed a couple of days ago weren’t coincidental. He hadn’t been lurking around, desperately hoping to find some hints to lead him in the right direction. The only thing he’d wanted to find was a lighter. He’d just been trying to set up a romantic atmosphere to stop his boyfriend from drifting away. Now, he wished he hadn’t looked under the bed and found that stack of unopened envelopes. Whoever was writing to Zack had been doing it for months and he’d never taken a look at the letters. He must know who was sending these mails to him so regularly or he’d have opened at least one of them. And it made Jack wondered what his boyfriend was scared of. There was something in these letters that Zack didn’t want to read and Jack felt like it was the key to everything. He felt like he could understand his boyfriend better if he knew what was in these envelopes. And that’s why he’d sneaked them out of Zack’s bedroom. He knew that he shouldn’t have done that. He should have talked about it with his lover, asked him who these letters were from and why he didn’t feel the need to open them. He didn’t know why he’d taken the box in the first place.
“What are you doing with my stuff?” Zack asked in a barely audible whisper that still made Jack jumped out of his skin. He looked up to see his boyfriend standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and frown evident on his face. Jack put the stack of letters back in the box and walked to his boyfriend. He wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. He realized that they were more or less about to fight but he couldn’t help it. Zack was like his center of gravity. He needed to be next to him, no matter how tensed things were. He felt his boyfriend stiffened under his touch and let go without stepping away.
“I thought it could help me understand what’s going on with you.” Jack confessed, resting a hand on Zack’s hip. He knew that it wasn’t going to make anything better but he hoped it’d keep Zack from ripping his head off. The guitarist sighed quietly and kissed his boyfriend’s lips before walking over to the box on the bed.
“My mother has been sending me postcards ever since I’ve got here. She didn’t write anything on them, not even her name. I only knew it was her because she wrote the address by hand. And about a year ago, she stopped sending postcards and wrote letters instead.” Zack admitted softly, looking at the letters with a sad smile. Jack came to sit with him on the bed and took his hand, silently comforting him to continue but the guitarist just handed him one of the envelopes. Jack frowned a little but took it without a word. And or the first time since he’d found the stack, he’d noticed that this one had been opened before. He unfolded the piece of paper and started to read out loud.
My dear Zachary,
I know that you don’t want to hear from me. The lack of answer to all of my mail to you is enough of a hint in that direction. But I want you to know that I understand why you’ve crossed me off of your life all these years ago.
I should have been here for you, my lovely son. I shouldn’t have said those horrible things to you but mostly I should have believed you. I know now that you were telling the truth.
And I’m sorry, Zack. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I brought him in your life and I’m sorry these things had to happen to you.
I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me one day but I’m not too optimistic. How could you when I, myself, can’t?
Jack trailed off before reaching the end of the page. He looked up to face the crying face of his boyfriend and he could feel his own tears welling up in his eyes. The pieces finally started to fit together and it was worth than what he’d imagined.
“Who… who was it?” Jack questioned through gritted teeth. He could feel his blood boil in his veins and his nails digging in his skin as he strongly closed his fist. In all of his years on earth and everything that had happened to him, he’d never thought he’d ever want to kill someone so badly.
“My stepfather. He came into my room whenever my mother was passed out. He did it for about two years before I got the guts to tell my mom. She called me a liar and threw me out of the door. That’s pretty much when I stopped talking. I thought that no one would want to listen to me anyway. But you came along and prove me wrong.” Zack finished with a weak smile, slipping his hand into Jack’s. He’d finally come to terms with his past and he had Jack to thank for that. He leant over the box and put a light kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.
“I’m glad you’ve talked to me.”
Author: soolmates
Pairings: Merrikat
Rating: R for dark themes
Summary: Their past is painful and their future isn't bright. Will they be able to save each other?
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my imagination. Even my car is not completely mine yet.
Title belongs to Amber Pacific.
AN: I'm back & offering you a short chapter that is more of a filler to be honest but you finally get to know what happened to Zack. Yaay... or nah.
Chapter 13
A week had come and gone since they’d come back from Baltimore and Jack was starting to seriously worry about Zack. His boyfriend had been acting weird all week. He promised that everything was fine but he was being distant and secretive. Jack knew that something was up but he didn’t know what could be. He’d first thought that it had something to do with what had happened that night at his old place. He’d wondered if Zack had been as ready as he’d said or if he’d just done it in fear to lose him. But when the guitarist had cornered him in the shower for an early make-out session, he’d realized that their sex-life had nothing to do with his strange behavior. That’s when he’d started watching his boyfriend’s every move. He felt like an insecure creep but he didn’t know what else to do. He’d tried talking about it with Zack but the guitarist didn’t say much more than a few words every now and then. Jack didn’t know much about the current situation but he knew that the letters he’d found under Zack’s bed a couple of days ago weren’t coincidental. He hadn’t been lurking around, desperately hoping to find some hints to lead him in the right direction. The only thing he’d wanted to find was a lighter. He’d just been trying to set up a romantic atmosphere to stop his boyfriend from drifting away. Now, he wished he hadn’t looked under the bed and found that stack of unopened envelopes. Whoever was writing to Zack had been doing it for months and he’d never taken a look at the letters. He must know who was sending these mails to him so regularly or he’d have opened at least one of them. And it made Jack wondered what his boyfriend was scared of. There was something in these letters that Zack didn’t want to read and Jack felt like it was the key to everything. He felt like he could understand his boyfriend better if he knew what was in these envelopes. And that’s why he’d sneaked them out of Zack’s bedroom. He knew that he shouldn’t have done that. He should have talked about it with his lover, asked him who these letters were from and why he didn’t feel the need to open them. He didn’t know why he’d taken the box in the first place.
“What are you doing with my stuff?” Zack asked in a barely audible whisper that still made Jack jumped out of his skin. He looked up to see his boyfriend standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and frown evident on his face. Jack put the stack of letters back in the box and walked to his boyfriend. He wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. He realized that they were more or less about to fight but he couldn’t help it. Zack was like his center of gravity. He needed to be next to him, no matter how tensed things were. He felt his boyfriend stiffened under his touch and let go without stepping away.
“I thought it could help me understand what’s going on with you.” Jack confessed, resting a hand on Zack’s hip. He knew that it wasn’t going to make anything better but he hoped it’d keep Zack from ripping his head off. The guitarist sighed quietly and kissed his boyfriend’s lips before walking over to the box on the bed.
“My mother has been sending me postcards ever since I’ve got here. She didn’t write anything on them, not even her name. I only knew it was her because she wrote the address by hand. And about a year ago, she stopped sending postcards and wrote letters instead.” Zack admitted softly, looking at the letters with a sad smile. Jack came to sit with him on the bed and took his hand, silently comforting him to continue but the guitarist just handed him one of the envelopes. Jack frowned a little but took it without a word. And or the first time since he’d found the stack, he’d noticed that this one had been opened before. He unfolded the piece of paper and started to read out loud.
My dear Zachary,
I know that you don’t want to hear from me. The lack of answer to all of my mail to you is enough of a hint in that direction. But I want you to know that I understand why you’ve crossed me off of your life all these years ago.
I should have been here for you, my lovely son. I shouldn’t have said those horrible things to you but mostly I should have believed you. I know now that you were telling the truth.
And I’m sorry, Zack. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I brought him in your life and I’m sorry these things had to happen to you.
I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me one day but I’m not too optimistic. How could you when I, myself, can’t?
Jack trailed off before reaching the end of the page. He looked up to face the crying face of his boyfriend and he could feel his own tears welling up in his eyes. The pieces finally started to fit together and it was worth than what he’d imagined.
“Who… who was it?” Jack questioned through gritted teeth. He could feel his blood boil in his veins and his nails digging in his skin as he strongly closed his fist. In all of his years on earth and everything that had happened to him, he’d never thought he’d ever want to kill someone so badly.
“My stepfather. He came into my room whenever my mother was passed out. He did it for about two years before I got the guts to tell my mom. She called me a liar and threw me out of the door. That’s pretty much when I stopped talking. I thought that no one would want to listen to me anyway. But you came along and prove me wrong.” Zack finished with a weak smile, slipping his hand into Jack’s. He’d finally come to terms with his past and he had Jack to thank for that. He leant over the box and put a light kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.
“I’m glad you’ve talked to me.”