The Charity Of Saint Alexander [2/2]
Title: The Charity Of Saint Alexander [2/2]
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Alex/Jack
POV: Alex
Summary: "Something's in this room tonight, death has found escape, and I'm right here waiting..."
Disclaimer: Same as the first chapter.
Author Notes: I wish I could've written this as more parts than two. I love it so much, and everytime I listen to the song that inspired me to write it, I want to write more. Oh well. Onto writing the next Jalex! Perhaps with slight Rian/Zack. And you know what? Dedicated to the sexiest bishie around, 4evrendvrsayshi, Beth.
The cemetery is slowly disappering around me. I feel like my body is folding in on itself. Almost like dying all over again. Could it be that I'm being sent off to heaven or hell?
No! That can't happen! I have to stay here and watch over Jack. I have to...
I'm...I'm okay. But where the hell am I? It's so dark. After a few seconds, my eyes adjust to the dark and I begin to recognize the familiar surroundings of the Merrick's kitchen. What am I doing here? All the lights are out except for the faint glow of what is obviously candles coming from the living room. Oh, no one can see me, why not investigate?
In the living room, the guys are sitting around a table that comes up to about knee height. They're all holding hands and Zack is reading from a prayer book off the table. Rian and Jack have their eyes closed.
A...a seance?
That's it then. That's why I disappeared from the cemetery. They called me here.
Zack clears his throat. "Alex, if you're here, please give us a sign. We need to know that you're here. Touch one of us."
Can I do that? Everytime I've tried to touch someone so far, they haven't felt it. But who knows? Maybe when you call up someone's spirit, it gives them a little extra something. I walk around the back of the table and kneel down beside Jack and reach my hand out to his cheek.
Closer.
Closer.
"Holy shit!"
Oh my God, he felt that.
Zack narrows his eyes and tightens his grip on their hands. "Jack, careful! If you get scared and let go, the circle is broken and we could lose contact! What's the matter? Did you feel something?"
Sweat drops the size of bullets are running down Jack's face, his eyes crazy wide. Did I scare him? Oh, I didn't mean to!
"He...he's here, guys. He t-touched my face."
Rian's jaw nearly hits the floor and Zack's eyes glimmer with wonder. Y'know, I've done this kind of stuff before, but I never thought I'd be the one being contacted.
"Alex, we all have something to say to you. Rian?"
The drummer chews his lower lip nervously before speaking. "Alex, you were one hell of a lead singer, and an even better friend. I wasn't there when...it happened, but I just want to say goodbye to you, and that I hope you're okay. Err, Zack?"
Zack opens his mouth, but closes it quickly, as though he doesn't know what to say. He lets out a deep sigh.
"We all miss you so much. We're...uh, we're disbanding All Time Low. It won't be the same without your vocals. God Alex, nothing's going to be the same. You helped make each day worth living."
He stops, looking across the table. Jack is shaking slightly. He has to tighten his grip on Zack and Rian's hands because his palms are so sweaty. I can't imagine what he'd be like if he knew I was kneeling right next to him.
"Jack, I know you want to say something to him. Go ahead."
Jack is searching his mind for the right words. C'mon, babe, talk. I know you can do this.
"Alex, you...you have no idea how much I miss you. Of all the times you could've been taken from me, it just had to be right before our wedding. I'm never taking this ring off, and I hope you won't either. In my mind you'll always be my boyfriend, dead or alive. Don't forget about me, okay? That grave plot next to yours is reserved for me. Someday I'll be buried right next to you. Oh Alex, I think of you every day. I still have a bunch of your things at my place. Just remember that I love you Alex."
A few tears slip down his cheek, and I can't help but lean in to kiss them away.
Not such a good idea. The contact of my lips makes him jump, breaking his hold on Zack and Rian's hands. Zack curses under his breath and runs a hand through his hair. Does this mean Jack can't feel my touch anymore? Sure enough, when I set my hand on his shoulder, he doesn't even flinch. Damnit.
Jack is the definition of ecstatic. His eyes are wide and he's practically jumping up and down.
"Guys, he was here! It worked and he was here! He...he kissed me on the cheek!"
His fingers run over the spot where my lips were, smiling like crazy.
"Oh, Alex...
I don't think I've ever been more worried in my afterlife.
Ever since the seance three weeks ago Jack hasn't had a proper night of sleep. He's constantly tossing and turning and mumbling to himself. More often than not he wakes up in a cold sweat and can't get back to sleep. I wish I knew what was going on inside his head. What could he possibly be dreaming about that's causing him to lose so much sleep?
Tonight is no different. He went to bed early, so it's only about eleven o' clock. The sheets and blanket are in a tangled mess on the floor, leaving him lying on the bed covered by nothing but the boxers he wore to bed. He's mumbling something to himself, tossing his head back and forth.
"No, I can't. Alex. Alex!"
He shot up in bed, breathing heavily. My poor boy. His shaking hands reach for the Sidekick sitting on his nightstand, sweat pouring down his pale face. I lean in close, trying to overhear his conversation. Maybe then I'll know what's going on.
"Jack?"
"Zack, there's...there's something wrong with me."
There's shuffling on Zack's end of the phone. "Jack, what's the matter?"
"Ever since we did that seance, I keep having these freaky dreams. I-I can see Alex and he wants me to follow him, but no matter what I can't catch up with him. He keeps telling me that if I really love him, I'll keep running. But my lungs hurt and my legs get tired, and I just can't keep running and when I look up, he's gone."
"Are you looking at pictures of him before you go to bed or eating anything strange?"
"No, dude. I'm kind of freaked out. Can I come over to your place?"
"Sure thing. I'm up anyways. You can crash on my couch if you want to."
"Thanks Zack. I'll be over in a little while."
Jack hastily jumps out of bed and grabs for the nearest clean clothes, which just happen to be the skinny jeans he wore earlier that day and my old white v-neck. He glances over it quickly before slipping it on, reveling in the smell of my cologne that still clings to it. I should follow him. God only knows what kind of things he might admit to Zack. I need to know what's wrong with him.
I don't think I've ever seen a more alert driver. He must be really determined to pour his emotions out on someone. Goddamn, I wish I could do something.
Wait.
So far the only thing I've done unsuccessfully is touch someone.
What if...if I can talk to them?
I lean over to the driver's side of the car (snuck in while he wasn't paying attention) and place my lips close to his ear. I hope I don't make him crash...
"Jack."
Well, he jumped about three feet out of his seat, but no crash. His eyes dart around wildly, his breathing as heavy as when he woke up.
"A-alex? Are you here?"
Now what do I say? Carrying on a conversation in a car with your deceased boyfriend might slightly affect your mental state later in life, so that's a no go. Maybe I should just tell him I love him? That I miss him?
Or maybe that there's a fucking semi headed straight towards him.
"Jack, the road!"
His head whips forward just in time to see the blinding headlights, but it's far too late for him to move out of the way. I know nothing will happen to me, so all I can do is close my eyes as I hear metal smashing against metal and Jack's scared voice cry out.
Please don't let him die...
Everywhere I look, I see white. What the hell is going on? It's like a neverending fog.
After a few seconds the white starts to clear and in front of me lies the crash Jack just went through. Paramedics are pulling him out of the mangled mess that was his car. Oh my God. All I can see is blood. I can't even tell if he's alive.
"Alex?"
"Jack?"
I turn my head and lo and behold, Jack is standing a few feet away from me, wringing his hands nervously. He takes a few uneasy steps, then practically sprints over into my arms.
"Alex, w-what's going on? I'm so scared. You're...you're dead. How can I see you and touch you? Am I d-dead too?"
Honestly, I'm just as confused as him. While my hand strokes his hair, I look over at his body. The paramedics have begun attempts to revive him now, his blood smearing on their clothes. Now I can clearly see what kind of damage he's in. His wrist is bent at such an angle that it's obviously broken. There's a nasty gash in his left cheek, and there's so much red soaked onto his shirt that I don't even want to know where it's from. But his chest. Faint as it may be, I can see that he's still breathing. Thank God.
"No Jack. I don't think you are. You're caught somewhere in between. I think you just needed to see me, to be near me one last time. To hear me tell you how much I love you, and that I'll never stop loving you."
Jack looks up at me. His eyes are brimming with tears, threatening to spill over at any second. No words are needed. Our lips connect in seconds, and the whole world around us melts.
No car crash, no paramedics, nothing. It's just me and Jack and all of our love.
If only that feeling could go on forever. But I have to let him go back. He's only nineteen. He's got so much life left to live.
I place one last kiss on his forehead before letting him go and pointing him in the direction of the crash.
"Now go. Zack's probably scared shitless because you should've been there thirty minutes ago and he's going to have a fit when he finds out what happened."
Jack nods, walking back over to his body. Right before he reaches, well, himself, he turns back to me, a smile on his face.
"I love you Alex."
I smile back. "I love you too Jack. See you on the other side, kid."
Ugh, hospitals suck even more AFTER you're dead. But I'm not planning on leaving until they release Jack. He's been unconscious for two days and he just woke up, so Rian and Zack are making a fuss over him. They sound like old women. Any more of this behavior and I'm going to start thinking they're a couple.
"There's no way we're letting you pick up a guitar with that wrist."
"I can't believe you made it through that."
"Losing two friends in less than three months would've killed us, man."
"Do you still need someplace to stay?"
Laughing, Jack holds up his good hand to silence them. "Guys, chillax. I'm gonna be fine. My wrist and back are gonna be fucked for a little bit, but besides that I'm okay. And no Zack, I don't need anywhere to stay. I'm much more comfortable at home. Alex is everywhere there."
How did I manage to land the world's biggest sweetheart?
"Oh, and I really don't think we should break up. What do you guys think about playing the songs acoustic instead? I don't think Alex would want us to break up. Let's keep going, in his memory. What do you say?"
Zack and Rian glance at each other, then shrug.
"I don't see why not."
"It's a great idea. Good thinking, Jack."
"Thanks. Now you two bickering bitches get on out of here and update our Myspace with that info. I'm not going to be able to stand not picking up my guitar for more than a week, and I need to rest to be able to play for Alex."
I smile.
Even in death I've got the best damn boyfriend I could ask for.
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Alex/Jack
POV: Alex
Summary: "Something's in this room tonight, death has found escape, and I'm right here waiting..."
Disclaimer: Same as the first chapter.
Author Notes: I wish I could've written this as more parts than two. I love it so much, and everytime I listen to the song that inspired me to write it, I want to write more. Oh well. Onto writing the next Jalex! Perhaps with slight Rian/Zack. And you know what? Dedicated to the sexiest bishie around, 4evrendvrsayshi, Beth.
The cemetery is slowly disappering around me. I feel like my body is folding in on itself. Almost like dying all over again. Could it be that I'm being sent off to heaven or hell?
No! That can't happen! I have to stay here and watch over Jack. I have to...
I'm...I'm okay. But where the hell am I? It's so dark. After a few seconds, my eyes adjust to the dark and I begin to recognize the familiar surroundings of the Merrick's kitchen. What am I doing here? All the lights are out except for the faint glow of what is obviously candles coming from the living room. Oh, no one can see me, why not investigate?
In the living room, the guys are sitting around a table that comes up to about knee height. They're all holding hands and Zack is reading from a prayer book off the table. Rian and Jack have their eyes closed.
A...a seance?
That's it then. That's why I disappeared from the cemetery. They called me here.
Zack clears his throat. "Alex, if you're here, please give us a sign. We need to know that you're here. Touch one of us."
Can I do that? Everytime I've tried to touch someone so far, they haven't felt it. But who knows? Maybe when you call up someone's spirit, it gives them a little extra something. I walk around the back of the table and kneel down beside Jack and reach my hand out to his cheek.
Closer.
Closer.
"Holy shit!"
Oh my God, he felt that.
Zack narrows his eyes and tightens his grip on their hands. "Jack, careful! If you get scared and let go, the circle is broken and we could lose contact! What's the matter? Did you feel something?"
Sweat drops the size of bullets are running down Jack's face, his eyes crazy wide. Did I scare him? Oh, I didn't mean to!
"He...he's here, guys. He t-touched my face."
Rian's jaw nearly hits the floor and Zack's eyes glimmer with wonder. Y'know, I've done this kind of stuff before, but I never thought I'd be the one being contacted.
"Alex, we all have something to say to you. Rian?"
The drummer chews his lower lip nervously before speaking. "Alex, you were one hell of a lead singer, and an even better friend. I wasn't there when...it happened, but I just want to say goodbye to you, and that I hope you're okay. Err, Zack?"
Zack opens his mouth, but closes it quickly, as though he doesn't know what to say. He lets out a deep sigh.
"We all miss you so much. We're...uh, we're disbanding All Time Low. It won't be the same without your vocals. God Alex, nothing's going to be the same. You helped make each day worth living."
He stops, looking across the table. Jack is shaking slightly. He has to tighten his grip on Zack and Rian's hands because his palms are so sweaty. I can't imagine what he'd be like if he knew I was kneeling right next to him.
"Jack, I know you want to say something to him. Go ahead."
Jack is searching his mind for the right words. C'mon, babe, talk. I know you can do this.
"Alex, you...you have no idea how much I miss you. Of all the times you could've been taken from me, it just had to be right before our wedding. I'm never taking this ring off, and I hope you won't either. In my mind you'll always be my boyfriend, dead or alive. Don't forget about me, okay? That grave plot next to yours is reserved for me. Someday I'll be buried right next to you. Oh Alex, I think of you every day. I still have a bunch of your things at my place. Just remember that I love you Alex."
A few tears slip down his cheek, and I can't help but lean in to kiss them away.
Not such a good idea. The contact of my lips makes him jump, breaking his hold on Zack and Rian's hands. Zack curses under his breath and runs a hand through his hair. Does this mean Jack can't feel my touch anymore? Sure enough, when I set my hand on his shoulder, he doesn't even flinch. Damnit.
Jack is the definition of ecstatic. His eyes are wide and he's practically jumping up and down.
"Guys, he was here! It worked and he was here! He...he kissed me on the cheek!"
His fingers run over the spot where my lips were, smiling like crazy.
"Oh, Alex...
I don't think I've ever been more worried in my afterlife.
Ever since the seance three weeks ago Jack hasn't had a proper night of sleep. He's constantly tossing and turning and mumbling to himself. More often than not he wakes up in a cold sweat and can't get back to sleep. I wish I knew what was going on inside his head. What could he possibly be dreaming about that's causing him to lose so much sleep?
Tonight is no different. He went to bed early, so it's only about eleven o' clock. The sheets and blanket are in a tangled mess on the floor, leaving him lying on the bed covered by nothing but the boxers he wore to bed. He's mumbling something to himself, tossing his head back and forth.
"No, I can't. Alex. Alex!"
He shot up in bed, breathing heavily. My poor boy. His shaking hands reach for the Sidekick sitting on his nightstand, sweat pouring down his pale face. I lean in close, trying to overhear his conversation. Maybe then I'll know what's going on.
"Jack?"
"Zack, there's...there's something wrong with me."
There's shuffling on Zack's end of the phone. "Jack, what's the matter?"
"Ever since we did that seance, I keep having these freaky dreams. I-I can see Alex and he wants me to follow him, but no matter what I can't catch up with him. He keeps telling me that if I really love him, I'll keep running. But my lungs hurt and my legs get tired, and I just can't keep running and when I look up, he's gone."
"Are you looking at pictures of him before you go to bed or eating anything strange?"
"No, dude. I'm kind of freaked out. Can I come over to your place?"
"Sure thing. I'm up anyways. You can crash on my couch if you want to."
"Thanks Zack. I'll be over in a little while."
Jack hastily jumps out of bed and grabs for the nearest clean clothes, which just happen to be the skinny jeans he wore earlier that day and my old white v-neck. He glances over it quickly before slipping it on, reveling in the smell of my cologne that still clings to it. I should follow him. God only knows what kind of things he might admit to Zack. I need to know what's wrong with him.
I don't think I've ever seen a more alert driver. He must be really determined to pour his emotions out on someone. Goddamn, I wish I could do something.
Wait.
So far the only thing I've done unsuccessfully is touch someone.
What if...if I can talk to them?
I lean over to the driver's side of the car (snuck in while he wasn't paying attention) and place my lips close to his ear. I hope I don't make him crash...
"Jack."
Well, he jumped about three feet out of his seat, but no crash. His eyes dart around wildly, his breathing as heavy as when he woke up.
"A-alex? Are you here?"
Now what do I say? Carrying on a conversation in a car with your deceased boyfriend might slightly affect your mental state later in life, so that's a no go. Maybe I should just tell him I love him? That I miss him?
Or maybe that there's a fucking semi headed straight towards him.
"Jack, the road!"
His head whips forward just in time to see the blinding headlights, but it's far too late for him to move out of the way. I know nothing will happen to me, so all I can do is close my eyes as I hear metal smashing against metal and Jack's scared voice cry out.
Please don't let him die...
Everywhere I look, I see white. What the hell is going on? It's like a neverending fog.
After a few seconds the white starts to clear and in front of me lies the crash Jack just went through. Paramedics are pulling him out of the mangled mess that was his car. Oh my God. All I can see is blood. I can't even tell if he's alive.
"Alex?"
"Jack?"
I turn my head and lo and behold, Jack is standing a few feet away from me, wringing his hands nervously. He takes a few uneasy steps, then practically sprints over into my arms.
"Alex, w-what's going on? I'm so scared. You're...you're dead. How can I see you and touch you? Am I d-dead too?"
Honestly, I'm just as confused as him. While my hand strokes his hair, I look over at his body. The paramedics have begun attempts to revive him now, his blood smearing on their clothes. Now I can clearly see what kind of damage he's in. His wrist is bent at such an angle that it's obviously broken. There's a nasty gash in his left cheek, and there's so much red soaked onto his shirt that I don't even want to know where it's from. But his chest. Faint as it may be, I can see that he's still breathing. Thank God.
"No Jack. I don't think you are. You're caught somewhere in between. I think you just needed to see me, to be near me one last time. To hear me tell you how much I love you, and that I'll never stop loving you."
Jack looks up at me. His eyes are brimming with tears, threatening to spill over at any second. No words are needed. Our lips connect in seconds, and the whole world around us melts.
No car crash, no paramedics, nothing. It's just me and Jack and all of our love.
If only that feeling could go on forever. But I have to let him go back. He's only nineteen. He's got so much life left to live.
I place one last kiss on his forehead before letting him go and pointing him in the direction of the crash.
"Now go. Zack's probably scared shitless because you should've been there thirty minutes ago and he's going to have a fit when he finds out what happened."
Jack nods, walking back over to his body. Right before he reaches, well, himself, he turns back to me, a smile on his face.
"I love you Alex."
I smile back. "I love you too Jack. See you on the other side, kid."
Ugh, hospitals suck even more AFTER you're dead. But I'm not planning on leaving until they release Jack. He's been unconscious for two days and he just woke up, so Rian and Zack are making a fuss over him. They sound like old women. Any more of this behavior and I'm going to start thinking they're a couple.
"There's no way we're letting you pick up a guitar with that wrist."
"I can't believe you made it through that."
"Losing two friends in less than three months would've killed us, man."
"Do you still need someplace to stay?"
Laughing, Jack holds up his good hand to silence them. "Guys, chillax. I'm gonna be fine. My wrist and back are gonna be fucked for a little bit, but besides that I'm okay. And no Zack, I don't need anywhere to stay. I'm much more comfortable at home. Alex is everywhere there."
How did I manage to land the world's biggest sweetheart?
"Oh, and I really don't think we should break up. What do you guys think about playing the songs acoustic instead? I don't think Alex would want us to break up. Let's keep going, in his memory. What do you say?"
Zack and Rian glance at each other, then shrug.
"I don't see why not."
"It's a great idea. Good thinking, Jack."
"Thanks. Now you two bickering bitches get on out of here and update our Myspace with that info. I'm not going to be able to stand not picking up my guitar for more than a week, and I need to rest to be able to play for Alex."
I smile.
Even in death I've got the best damn boyfriend I could ask for.