The Charity Of Saint Alexander [1/2]
Title: The Charity Of Saint Alexander [1/2]
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Alex
Summary: "There's an angel in the place of the boy next door..."
Disclaimer: Work of fiction. The cut and 90% of the title belongs to Sullivan.
Author Notes: Again with the sadness, but it has a happy ending, I promise. Oh, and the dates on the tombstone aren't meant to be, like, current. Meaning it isn't set to date. This isn't the Jack/Alex I mentioned in the comments of my last post, but I just had to post it.
Strangled sobs ring out in the dark of Jack Barakat's bedroom. He's hugging my old hoodie to his chest, tears running down his face and soaking the sleeve. All the lights are out besides the lamp on his bedside table that illuminates a picture of us. It's from a Jack's Mannequin show four months ago. He's kissing me on the cheek, the camera just high enough to catch Andrew's feet on the stage.
"Oh Alex, why'd you have to leave us? Why'd you have to leave me?"
I feel so bad just standing here watching him cry. I want to hold him, to stroke his hair and tell him he'll be okay.
If only I wasn't dead.
You see, a week and a half ago today I was stabbed in a fight and ended up dying in Jack's arms.
Two days ago they had my funeral.
I don't want to go to heaven or hell. I just want to stay here as a ghost and watch over Jack. I spend most of my time here making sure he doesn't do anything drastic like try to kill himself. Though, even if I wasn't watching him, I think he'd be okay. Rian and Zack stop by daily to check up on Jack. Make sure he's eating, that he hasn't attempted to OD on pills or anything like that.
But deep down, I don't think he'd be able to go through with it. He wants to keep living for me. Such a sweetheart.
"Alex, I know you can hear me. I miss you so much babe. You were too young. Why'd God have to take you from me? I...I wanted to be with you forever Alex..."
Oh Jack, I'm right here. My gaze turns to the window and I reach out a hand, placing it on his shoulder even though I know he can't feel it. I hate to see him so depressed.
It's suddenly way too silent. I look down and see that he's fallen asleep curled up against my hoodie. If only I could wipe away those still warm tears. There's really no use in me staying all night, so I decide to leave through the window. It's not like he can off himself while he's sleeping. Besides, there's someplace else I need to go that I haven't had the chance to check since I died. Something I need to know...
Alexander William Barakat
December 14 1987 - October 19th 2008
Our Fallen Dark Eyed Dreamer
I almost can't believe it. Kneeling down on the cool earth, I run my fingers over the last name on the stone. They actually let him do it...
Did I fail to mention Jack and I were about to get married?
I know we're only nineteen and twenty, but it felt so right. There wasn't a shot in hell Jack and I were going to leave each other. We were dating long before All Time Low started to get noticed. When were young we always entertained childish thoughts of marriage and what it would be like. How awkward our elder family members would feel when we kissed in front of everyone. How I would play the part of the girl and wear a dress. How we'd write our own vows.
And now, all because of one stupid fight I just had to get into, all of those dreams are gone. Jack is alone, and I'm dead. Tragic or what?
I slump back against the stone and glance around at the flowers. I can tell which ones are from my parents because the arrangement is like an explosion of color. The ones from the guys' families are mostly the same.
But Jack's, Jack's stands out. Ninety nine percent of the flowers he used are red, and they're all roses. There has to be at least sixty or so roses in the whole arrangement, and right in the middle is one single unopened white rose. Tons of true love with a dash of purity. Now I'm really upset over the fact that we never had the chance to get married before I was killed.
The ring is still on my finger. Mine is yellow gold, Jack's is white gold. We were going to get them engraved the night before the wedding, with lyrics from "The Mixed Tape". Jack loves Jack's Mannequin. It was so...so damn perfect.
Shit. I'm totally crying right now.
I don't deserve all this love. It's my own fault I was killed. All because someone called me and Jack fags.
What was I supposed to do, though? Sit back and let people insult the love of my life?
No. No, I should've just walked away. It was bound to happen at some point. If I'd walked away, I'd still be alive, and Jack and I would be celebrating being a married couple rather than him lying around the house mourning me. Fuck...
"I've got it!"
I pulled Jack closer as we walked down the street. The index finger on the hand I have intertwined with his absentmindedly strokes the band on his ring finger. Only one more week and we'd be married. I would become Alex Barakat.
"What, babe?"
"The lyrics, for our rings. 'It's like I wrote every note with my own fingers'. From 'The Mixed Tape'. What do you think?"
"It's perfect Jack," I kissed him on the cheek, "Perfect words from my perfect future husband."
"Aah, so you're going to be the woman, then?"
After a quick glance to make sure no one was around I grabbed Jack's wrists and roughly pinned him up against the nearest wall, my lips going straight for his neck.
"Yup. A very dominant woman," I whispered against the warm skin. I nipped lightly at his neck, smiling when I hear him moan. His hips ground down on mine while I bit and kissed his sensitive skin. I released one of his wrists, and his hand was soon tangled up in my hair.
"Get a room, faggots."
We turned and saw a guy about our age, his gaze dark and angry.
He DID NOT just call us that.
I broke away from Jack and crossed my arms. "That's funny, I swear I just heard you call me and my fiance faggots."
"You got a hearing problem, man? Yeah, I called you fags."
Jack tugged on my sleeve. "Alex, come on. Let's just go."
"Why don't you listen to your bitch and leave?"
I didn't even need to think about it. My fist connected with his jaw before you could blink. Nobody insults Jack in front of me. I'd punch my own grandfather if he ever said something to Jack.
He tackled me to the ground, scratching at my face with rough nails. Now who's the feminine one? Jack was yelling at us to stop, yelling at me that we need to get back to Rian and Zack in the van. I tried to push the guy away, but he wouldn't let go. I aimed another punch at his face and missed.
"Get the fuck off me!"
In the next five seconds my body is only aware of two things.
The sound of Jack screaming my name at the top of his lungs.
And the feel of cold steel in my chest.
"Alex!"
He didn't even try to take down the guy, who had run right after I began to bleed. Jack's safe arms were soon hugging me close to his chest, warm tears dancing down his cheeks and splashing onto my bloodstained shirt.
"Oh God Alex, please stay with me. Please don't die..."
A weakened hand reached up to touch Jack's cheek, which he quickly set his own hand on top of. I could already feel myself growing colder.
"Jack. Jack, it hurts so bad."
"I know babe, I know. You gotta hang on though. I'm going to call an ambulance for you, okay?"
I touched my fingers to the wound, feeling the blood trickle between my fingers. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak. My lips felt heavy. It felt like I could barely form words.
"Jack, there's no use. I-I'm going to die."
Jack's fingers quickly punched in 9-1-1 on his Sidekick, shaking his head wildly. "Don't say that Alex! You're going to be fine. Just...just hang on, please."
My mind is slowly slipping into darkness, and Jack is starting to become nothing more than a raven and blonde blur. He's speaking into the phone now. All I can make out is 'boyfriend' 'stabbed' 'please hurry' and '32nd street'.
"Jack, I feel so tired. I have to close my eyes."
Jack's eyes widened and he kissed my forehead.
"Alex, you can't. Just stay awake for me baby. You can do it."
"Jack, I can't."
There's an uneasy silence between us. He knows that by the time they get here, I'll be gone. I'm going to die on this street.
"I love you so much Jack."
I picked my head up as far as I could and Jack met me halfway in the most passionate kiss we'd ever shared. His lips feel so soft and warm. If I hadn't been dying, it would have been the perfect moment.
The last thing I see are his gorgeous tear filled eyes.
The last thing I feel is him smoothing my hair back from my forehead.
The last thing I hear is his sweet voice.
"I love you too Alex. I love you too."
I sigh and toss my head back against my gravestone. Why'd I have to be so stupid?
Suddenly, there's this freaky feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like someone is reeling me in on a fish hook. After a quick glance down at my hands, I see that they're starting to fade away.
What the hell is happening to me?
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Alex
Summary: "There's an angel in the place of the boy next door..."
Disclaimer: Work of fiction. The cut and 90% of the title belongs to Sullivan.
Author Notes: Again with the sadness, but it has a happy ending, I promise. Oh, and the dates on the tombstone aren't meant to be, like, current. Meaning it isn't set to date. This isn't the Jack/Alex I mentioned in the comments of my last post, but I just had to post it.
Strangled sobs ring out in the dark of Jack Barakat's bedroom. He's hugging my old hoodie to his chest, tears running down his face and soaking the sleeve. All the lights are out besides the lamp on his bedside table that illuminates a picture of us. It's from a Jack's Mannequin show four months ago. He's kissing me on the cheek, the camera just high enough to catch Andrew's feet on the stage.
"Oh Alex, why'd you have to leave us? Why'd you have to leave me?"
I feel so bad just standing here watching him cry. I want to hold him, to stroke his hair and tell him he'll be okay.
If only I wasn't dead.
You see, a week and a half ago today I was stabbed in a fight and ended up dying in Jack's arms.
Two days ago they had my funeral.
I don't want to go to heaven or hell. I just want to stay here as a ghost and watch over Jack. I spend most of my time here making sure he doesn't do anything drastic like try to kill himself. Though, even if I wasn't watching him, I think he'd be okay. Rian and Zack stop by daily to check up on Jack. Make sure he's eating, that he hasn't attempted to OD on pills or anything like that.
But deep down, I don't think he'd be able to go through with it. He wants to keep living for me. Such a sweetheart.
"Alex, I know you can hear me. I miss you so much babe. You were too young. Why'd God have to take you from me? I...I wanted to be with you forever Alex..."
Oh Jack, I'm right here. My gaze turns to the window and I reach out a hand, placing it on his shoulder even though I know he can't feel it. I hate to see him so depressed.
It's suddenly way too silent. I look down and see that he's fallen asleep curled up against my hoodie. If only I could wipe away those still warm tears. There's really no use in me staying all night, so I decide to leave through the window. It's not like he can off himself while he's sleeping. Besides, there's someplace else I need to go that I haven't had the chance to check since I died. Something I need to know...
Alexander William Barakat
December 14 1987 - October 19th 2008
Our Fallen Dark Eyed Dreamer
I almost can't believe it. Kneeling down on the cool earth, I run my fingers over the last name on the stone. They actually let him do it...
Did I fail to mention Jack and I were about to get married?
I know we're only nineteen and twenty, but it felt so right. There wasn't a shot in hell Jack and I were going to leave each other. We were dating long before All Time Low started to get noticed. When were young we always entertained childish thoughts of marriage and what it would be like. How awkward our elder family members would feel when we kissed in front of everyone. How I would play the part of the girl and wear a dress. How we'd write our own vows.
And now, all because of one stupid fight I just had to get into, all of those dreams are gone. Jack is alone, and I'm dead. Tragic or what?
I slump back against the stone and glance around at the flowers. I can tell which ones are from my parents because the arrangement is like an explosion of color. The ones from the guys' families are mostly the same.
But Jack's, Jack's stands out. Ninety nine percent of the flowers he used are red, and they're all roses. There has to be at least sixty or so roses in the whole arrangement, and right in the middle is one single unopened white rose. Tons of true love with a dash of purity. Now I'm really upset over the fact that we never had the chance to get married before I was killed.
The ring is still on my finger. Mine is yellow gold, Jack's is white gold. We were going to get them engraved the night before the wedding, with lyrics from "The Mixed Tape". Jack loves Jack's Mannequin. It was so...so damn perfect.
Shit. I'm totally crying right now.
I don't deserve all this love. It's my own fault I was killed. All because someone called me and Jack fags.
What was I supposed to do, though? Sit back and let people insult the love of my life?
No. No, I should've just walked away. It was bound to happen at some point. If I'd walked away, I'd still be alive, and Jack and I would be celebrating being a married couple rather than him lying around the house mourning me. Fuck...
"I've got it!"
I pulled Jack closer as we walked down the street. The index finger on the hand I have intertwined with his absentmindedly strokes the band on his ring finger. Only one more week and we'd be married. I would become Alex Barakat.
"What, babe?"
"The lyrics, for our rings. 'It's like I wrote every note with my own fingers'. From 'The Mixed Tape'. What do you think?"
"It's perfect Jack," I kissed him on the cheek, "Perfect words from my perfect future husband."
"Aah, so you're going to be the woman, then?"
After a quick glance to make sure no one was around I grabbed Jack's wrists and roughly pinned him up against the nearest wall, my lips going straight for his neck.
"Yup. A very dominant woman," I whispered against the warm skin. I nipped lightly at his neck, smiling when I hear him moan. His hips ground down on mine while I bit and kissed his sensitive skin. I released one of his wrists, and his hand was soon tangled up in my hair.
"Get a room, faggots."
We turned and saw a guy about our age, his gaze dark and angry.
He DID NOT just call us that.
I broke away from Jack and crossed my arms. "That's funny, I swear I just heard you call me and my fiance faggots."
"You got a hearing problem, man? Yeah, I called you fags."
Jack tugged on my sleeve. "Alex, come on. Let's just go."
"Why don't you listen to your bitch and leave?"
I didn't even need to think about it. My fist connected with his jaw before you could blink. Nobody insults Jack in front of me. I'd punch my own grandfather if he ever said something to Jack.
He tackled me to the ground, scratching at my face with rough nails. Now who's the feminine one? Jack was yelling at us to stop, yelling at me that we need to get back to Rian and Zack in the van. I tried to push the guy away, but he wouldn't let go. I aimed another punch at his face and missed.
"Get the fuck off me!"
In the next five seconds my body is only aware of two things.
The sound of Jack screaming my name at the top of his lungs.
And the feel of cold steel in my chest.
"Alex!"
He didn't even try to take down the guy, who had run right after I began to bleed. Jack's safe arms were soon hugging me close to his chest, warm tears dancing down his cheeks and splashing onto my bloodstained shirt.
"Oh God Alex, please stay with me. Please don't die..."
A weakened hand reached up to touch Jack's cheek, which he quickly set his own hand on top of. I could already feel myself growing colder.
"Jack. Jack, it hurts so bad."
"I know babe, I know. You gotta hang on though. I'm going to call an ambulance for you, okay?"
I touched my fingers to the wound, feeling the blood trickle between my fingers. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak. My lips felt heavy. It felt like I could barely form words.
"Jack, there's no use. I-I'm going to die."
Jack's fingers quickly punched in 9-1-1 on his Sidekick, shaking his head wildly. "Don't say that Alex! You're going to be fine. Just...just hang on, please."
My mind is slowly slipping into darkness, and Jack is starting to become nothing more than a raven and blonde blur. He's speaking into the phone now. All I can make out is 'boyfriend' 'stabbed' 'please hurry' and '32nd street'.
"Jack, I feel so tired. I have to close my eyes."
Jack's eyes widened and he kissed my forehead.
"Alex, you can't. Just stay awake for me baby. You can do it."
"Jack, I can't."
There's an uneasy silence between us. He knows that by the time they get here, I'll be gone. I'm going to die on this street.
"I love you so much Jack."
I picked my head up as far as I could and Jack met me halfway in the most passionate kiss we'd ever shared. His lips feel so soft and warm. If I hadn't been dying, it would have been the perfect moment.
The last thing I see are his gorgeous tear filled eyes.
The last thing I feel is him smoothing my hair back from my forehead.
The last thing I hear is his sweet voice.
"I love you too Alex. I love you too."
I sigh and toss my head back against my gravestone. Why'd I have to be so stupid?
Suddenly, there's this freaky feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like someone is reeling me in on a fish hook. After a quick glance down at my hands, I see that they're starting to fade away.
What the hell is happening to me?