Mirror
Title: Mirror
Author: xxninny435xx
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jalex
Summary: By the time he was ready for work, he felt about ready to cry from frustration. All that, and he hardly even looked acceptable.
Disclaimer: Don't ownnn.
Author Notes: For the 100 Themes Challenge.
[:
Alex was having one of those mornings. One of those mornings where you just wake up in a sour mood, where you can't seem to find anything to wear in the jungle of clothing that is your closet. One of those mornings where everything you try on looks stupid, where your favorite pair of jeans make you look fat, where your love handles look about ready to overflow like lava from the rim of a volcano. One of those mornings where your hair just doesn't sit right, where you seem to have pimples decorating every inch of your face, where you just feel like a fat fuck and wonder how on earth the perfect human being lying in your bed could possibly find you worthy of going out with.
Yeah. He was having one of those mornings.
He just woke up for work and everything was simply wrong. He had a headache and his ass hurt from last night. His muscles were sore and his throat was scratchy. He tried pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans and a snug T-shirt, only to frown when he saw his reflection in the mirror.
He looked huge. Christ, his ass looked about ready to rip the pants in half and his stomach was bulging out like he was pregnant. He scoffed with displeasure and tore the clothes off, heading back to the closet to find something else - something that made him look somewhat presentable, even if he felt like he looked like Sasquatch at the moment.
He tried a pair of looser jeans that were still a close fit, but not as much as the skinny jeans. They made his thighs look like elephants, so he took those off and threw them on the floor with a groan. Then, he tried his favorite pair of jeans - the ones that Jack loved because it showed off his ass and made his legs look like they went on for days.
He looked like Paula Deen trying to fit into a size 2. That just wasn't going to work.
Eventually, he was able to find something that didn't make him look bloated or pregnant or like Paula Deen in a size 2. It was a pair of old, baggy jeans that he used to wear whenever he felt lazy or tired back in high school. They used to fall down his ass, but now, they fit okay - shows how much weight he's put on since Senior year.
Finding the right top was just as difficult as finding the right bottom. He tried putting on a button-up shirt, crisp and clean from the dry cleaner, but it looked like the buttons would pop off at any minute. Then, he tried a baggy T-shirt, but with the already baggy jeans, he just looked homeless. Finally, he settled for one of Jack's turtle necks; it was a little bit big on him, big enough to hide his bulge of a stomach, but not big enough to make him look like a walking trash bag.
It also hid the hickeys Jack left on his neck. Bonus points for that.
He messed around with his hair for almost a half hour before he gave up. He had run the brush through it so much that his scalp was numb and had straightened each lock until they practically caught on fire. He tried hairspray and mist and gel, but for the life of him, he just could not get it to do what he wanted it to do. He huffed and threw his straightener back in the drawer, going back to the closet to get a beanie from the top shelf. He struggled to get it on right for several more minutes, trying to get just the right amount of stupid, uncooperative hair to sit along his forehead.
By the time he was ready for work, he felt about ready to cry from frustration. All that, and he hardly even looked acceptable.
His glaring contest with his reflection was cut short when he heard a mumbled, “Lex?” and the door creak open slowly. He turned around quickly, leaning back against the counter with a smile in Jack's direction. The other boy had clearly just woken up, his hair a tangled mess with claw marks and love bites littering his skin. He was rubbing his eye with his fist, sending a lazy smile in Alex's direction.
Jack didn't even have to try to look good. He just did.
“You okay, Lex?” Jack stumbled over and put his hands on the edge of the counter on either side of Alex's hips. He leaned his head down and nuzzled his nose into his shoulder, eyelids slipping closed.
“Yeah,” Alex lied, running a hand through Jack's sex hair. “Why wouldn't I be?”
“I dunno,” Jack kissed his jaw, pushing away slightly so that he could look Alex in the eye. “But you were looking at the mirror like it just shot your puppy, so-”
“I'm fine,” Alex smiled crookedly and pecked Jack on the lips, pushing out of the cage the other man had set around his waist and walking out of the bathroom. Jack watched him walk out, sighing when he heard the front door slam shut.
XxXxX
Alex worked at the art store down the road. He wasn't what one would call “artistic” - his cows kind of looked like white and black firetrucks - but he enjoyed the smell of paints and liked brushing his fingers over the woodcarvings. It was a cozy place to work at and he got to work alongside his friend since Freshman year of high school, Rian.
He was restocking the shelves in the kid's craft section when Rian came around, hooking his finger in the collar of his turtle neck and pulling it out. He smirked and laughed, poking Alex in the ribs before saying, “I knew I saw you limping!”
Alex's cheeks turned red as he shoved Rian away, hissing, “Fuck off!”
Rian laughed and joked, “I still can't believe you found someone to fuck you!”
And yeah, ouch, that kind of hurt. It wasn't Rian's fault, really, Alex never told him about his self-esteem or anything. In fact, back in high school, he always showed himself off as cocky and narcissistic, as someone who really just didn't give a damn about what other people thought.
Alex flipped him off with a forced grin and called, “Well, at least I'm getting laid!”
Rian laughed again and rolled his eyes, leaving to go take care of the register. As soon as he was out of sight, Alex let his smile drop and practically threw the rest of the items on the shelf.
XxXxX
Ever since they first got together, Jack was able to see through every one of Alex's little acts. He didn't need the other man to admit to him through sobs that he felt bad about himself, that he thought he was disgusting and unattractive. From the moment he opened his mouth, Jack knew that he was faking, that everything he said was just a way of covering things up to avoid showing feeling or having to deal with his emotions. And, yeah, that was fine with Jack, he didn't like dealing with his insecurities either.
But Alex just let them eat at him. They were like worms in his gut, eating away at everything until he was nothing but a shriveled up bag of bones. Sure, it was okay to have little things on your body that you didn't like - it was natural too want to look better than you already did. But worrying over every minor detail and letting it ruin your morning and crying about it every time someone pointed it out and getting angry when your lover tried to convince you that you were attractive wasn't healthy, wasn't right.
And that's when Jack began seeing that these insecurities were more than just insecurities, they were a fucking obsession.
Jack honestly had no idea what Alex saw when he looked in the mirror. He thought Alex was endlessly beautiful, thought that everything he did was sexy - from the way he would peel of his shirt after work to the way his hips swung side to side when he walked. Sure, he, like everyone else in the world, had flaws, and Jack realized that - no one was perfect, after all. But those flaws were a part of him, so Jack loved them all the same.
When he saw Alex, he saw a boy with a quirky, crooked smile and big brown eyes that were easy to run away in. When he saw Alex, he saw soft curves and smooth skin that burned his hands when he touched it. When he saw Alex, he saw a round ass that fit perfectly in his palms and long legs that could so easily wrap around his waist.
But in the end, it didn't really matter what Jack saw, right? Because if Alex didn't think so, he wasn't going to change his mind based on what Jack told him. Convincing someone as stubborn as Alex was nearly impossible to do with words.
Alex was a man who needed to be persuaded with action.
XxXxX
Alex was tired and upset and stressed out and all he wanted to do was take off his (Jack's) stupid turtle neck, crawl into his (their) stupid bed, and pass the fuck out. He didn't want to walk into the bathroom, didn't want to look in the mirror and see his stupid face or his stupid hair or his stupid love handles or his stupid muffin top or his stupid ass or his stupid appearance. He didn't want to look at Jack either, didn't want to hear him talk about how pretty he was and how beautiful he was and how sexy he was and how fucking awesome he was, cause it was lies, lies, lies, and he really didn't want to have a relationship with him stacked up on a mountain of lies, lies, lies.
He was angry at Jack for lying and angry at himself for not looking good and angry at Rian and that damn mirror for pointing it out.
He tugged off the turtle neck and threw it on top of the small mirror on top of their dresser, trying to keep his image out of it as best as he could. He kicked off his shoes and pulled down his pants, throwing that over the mirror as well for extra protection. The beanie was tossed on top of the dresser and he was so close to the bed, so close to the sheets and pillows and to sleeping off how shitty he felt, when he heard Jack groan in the bathroom.
“Alex,” his voice sounded weak and pained. “Fuck, can you get me something for my stomach? I think I ate something bad.”
Yeah, Alex really fucking wanted to avoid seeing the other man at the moment, because he knew that Jack knew what happened with the mirror that morning, and he knew that he was eventually going to bring it up. But he sounded so sick and needy and Alex couldn't just ignore him, could he?
Of course not. So he hurried to the kitchen and got some Tums before scurrying back into their bedroom. He sighed and turned his head towards the opposite direction of the mirror before turning the knob and entering the bathroom.
He was expecting to find Jack leaned over the sink or sitting on the toilet, holding his stomach and looking like he just got hit by a train (and he'd probably still look like a model, the fucker). What he was not expecting was Jack pushing him up against the door with a smirk on his face, his hands gripping Alex's wrists and pinning them beside his head. The bottle of Tums fell out of his hand and Jack kicked it away with his foot until it slipped into their closet.
Alex frowned, tugging at his wrists defiantly. “Jack, I am so not in the mood right now.”
“Well, I have been thinking about you all day long,” Jack whispered, his breath fanning out against Alex's face. He smelled like coffee and mint toothpaste. “So, I think you should get in the mood, and quickly.”
Jack's lips were on his neck then, biting and sucking the skin while his thumbs rubbed at his wrists. Alex squirmed with a frown, bending his knee up and pressing it against Jack stomach; not enough to hurt him, but enough for him to get his point across. “Jack, I'm serious, I don't want to do this right now. I had a long day and I just want to go to sleep.”
Jack ignored his words and pushed down the knee in his gut, instead moving his hands down to cradle the brunette's hips, the tips of his middle fingers meeting behind Alex's back. He brought him forward slightly, pressing their groins together and loving how warm Alex's skin was against his cold fingers.
“Jack, please, can't we do this later?” Alex pushed at Jack's shoulders, sighing exasperatedly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, but I'm so tired, c'mon, we can do this tomorrow morning or something--”
“I love every part of you,” Jack continued like Alex hadn't even spoken. His lips were going lower now, drawing a line down the middle of his chest until he was on his knees in front of him at his stomach, kissing the little bit of pudge that stuck out. His hands moved down to cup Alex's ass, squeezing slightly as he kissed the little bits of skin that hung over the sides of his boxers. “Right down to the very last hair on your pretty little head.”
Alex knew where this was going and he really didn't want to have this conversation right now, he just wanted to go to sleep and he couldn't understand why Jack would deny him this simple little request. “Jack, I'm serious, can't we talk about this some other time?”
“I think we should talk about it now.”
“Please, Jack, I had such a shitty day-”
“That's why we should talk about it now,” Jack swopped back up to cup Alex's face, kissing both of his cheeks softly. “As long as you keep feeding these insecurities, you're going to have shitty days and come home tired and fed up and not wanting to have sex with me - which, I can only handle for so long, mind you.”
Jack nuzzled his nose into Alex neck, kissing at the skin under his lips. “C'mon, I'll make you feel good. It'll loosen you up, after such a long day of working - it'll be nice, won't it? Come home from a bad day just to have your lover make you feel special and perfect. That sounds great, doesn't it?”
And, yeah, that sounded really great, especially when Jack was licking at that one spot behind Alex's ear that drove him quite insane, especially when Jack's thigh was slipped between his legs and pressing against his crotch, especially when Jack had his thumbs rubbing into his nipples and his fingers digging into his sides.
“I think you're so beautiful,” Jack continued, moving his hips forward against Alex's hip and letting him feel the growing lump in his jeans. “Don't you want me to make you feel beautiful? Don't you want to see what I see?”
“You, ah,” Alex felt his skin prickle and his spine tingle as Jack's hands hovered down his sides. “You aren't going to change my mind, ya'know.”
“I'm not so sure about that,” Jack pushed their hips together and Alex moaned, leaning his head back until it hit the door. “I can be very convincing.”
Alex wanted to retort, to bite back uh, no, I promise, you won't change my mind on this, but he was cut off when Jack's lips fell on his own, stopping any complaints from coming out.
And, yeah, Alex really couldn't stop himself from moaning into the kiss and finally raising his hands to pull at the hairs at the nape of Jack's neck - because Jack knew Alex very well, and he knew how to turn him on, even when he felt like shit, and he was totally using that to his advantage right now. All the blood in his body was circulating to his cheeks and nether regions, his mind fogging over as JackJackJackJackJack began to take over. He felt the other man run his hands over his hips, his palm rubbing against the tent in his boxers.
Groaning, Alex used one of his fingers to tap at the collar of Jack's shirt, quietly demanding him to take the damn thing off. Laughing into his mouth like the cocky little prick he was, Jack pulled away for only a second to tug the garment off before diving back in.
Alex gasped into the kiss and leaned his head back, breaking off the contact. “Jack,” he squirmed and huffed, tugging down at the hair in his hands in a silent request. After all, Jack was trying to make him feel special and beautiful and perfect, and that meant that he should do whatever the fuck Alex wanted him to do, like suck his dick or something--
Jack wasted no time on teasing as he fell down to his knees, gripping the edges of Alex's boxers and pulling them down till they circled at his ankles. Alex, suddenly wondering why he bothered to wear such a bothersome article of clothing, quickly kicked it away from him, uncaring of where it would possibly land.
“Alex,” he looked down then, at Jack nuzzling his nose into his hip and smiling up at him kindly. “You're so pretty, Alex.”
He gripped Alex by the base, causing the brunette to choke on a moan, his finger nails scratching at the door frame behind him. “So gorgeous,” Jack continued, slowly stroking him as he bit and sucked on a patch of skin on the inside of his thigh. “So perfect.”
Alex moaned, bucking his hips up and feeling his cheeks flare with embarrassment. “Like a porcelain doll,” Jack kissed his tip, Alex shivering from the contact. He wanted to grab at Jack's head, wanted to just fucking push him down on his dick, because he was hard and ready and he'd had a bad day and he was getting red in the face from Jack's compliments and he just really, really wanted him to shut the fuck up already, okay? “I can't believe something so perfect exists, that something so perfect is mine.”
Alex was about to comment on how if you don't suck my dick right now, I'm not going to be yours for much longer, but the words died in his throat as he felt Jack's lips wrap around his head, his eyes peering up at him through his hair. And then he was going down, down, down, and Alex felt himself tremble like the fucking earthquake in Japan and he heard himself gasping, wanting to cry out the other man's name but finding it hard to make his mouth produce words. So, instead, he buried his fingers in Jack's hair and tugged, hoping that he would get the message.
Jack hummed around him before his hands trailed back up his body, running over his skin delicately like he was made of glass. He tapped three of his fingers against Alex's chin lightly, and he got the point and quickly swept them in his mouth. It was a little difficult, because he kept accidentally biting down on his fingers whenever Jack bobbed his head, but he eventually got them coated with an amount of saliva that Jack apparently deemed acceptable. His hands slithered back down Alex's body until one hand was lifting his thigh up, situation his leg over Jack's shoulder and leaving him standing on one wobbly support beam. He leaned his back against the door and spread his arms to push back at the wall to keep himself steady.
Another moan rang out as Jack wriggled the tip of his finger into his entrance, teasing him with his lips curling into a smirk (well, the best smirk he could manage, consider he still had Alex in his mouth). He twisted his finger, but didn't push it any deeper, simply keeping it at the borderline.
Alex groaned with frustration before pushing back down on the finger, forcing it in deeper and hissing, “Fuck you, asshole.”
Jack laughed and Alex felt the vibrations in his throat, the air suddenly getting caught in his chest. Jack pumped his finger in and out of him, meeting his hips every time he pushed back and bobbing his head to the steady pace he set up.
When Alex felt another finger begin to nudge its way in, he nearly died. “Fuck, Jack,” Alex gasped out, his hips stuttering when he felt his gut swirl and churn. “Stop, I'm gonna--”
Jack pulled his mouth off of him, his lips red and shiny, his eyes blown wide and looking up at him like he was a fucking porn star or something. His free hand wrapped around the thigh that was hitched around his shoulder, leaning his head to the side to kiss at the flesh next to his cheek.
Finally, the third finger came, and Alex groaned - he was impatient and horny and he just wanted to get off already. He pushed back against it urgently, whimpering when he felt Jack spread his fingers out. “You look so good like this, Alex. All strung out and fucked and desperate.”
And here came the praises. Alex thought he had gotten rid of those.
“It's unbearable for me to think that you can't see how lovely and golden and special you are,” his lips moved against Alex's thigh, the light touches driving him crazy as Jack drove his fingers up into him further. And then he was pulling out of him and gently placing Alex's leg back on the ground, standing up to grab Alex's shoulders and steal a kiss. “I'm going to make you see, Alex, darling. I'm going to make you see how beautiful and sexy and flawless you are.”
And then he was being pushed against the cabinet, his hands catching the edge and his eyes lifting up to see the damned mirror standing tall and menacingly over him. He could see Jack standing behind him, watching as he locked him into place by setting both hands on the counter on either side of Alex's waist. Jack kissed the back of his shoulder and grinned at their reflection, pressing his chest against Alex's back and moving his hands down to unzip his pants and tug them - and his Iron Man boxer shorts - down low enough for him to kick them off the rest of the way.
“Alex, sometimes I don't think you realize what you do to me,” Jack licked at the shell of his ear and Alex watched him through the mirror, watched how his tongue slid across his skin and his eyes blew up. “I don't want you to watch me, baby; I want you to watch you, to see what I see.”
And Alex was so fucking out of it that he would probably jump off a fucking plane without a parachute into a fire pit filled with snakes and spiders and Satan if Jack told him to. So he stared at himself, looked into his eyes and saw how wide his pupils were, how on-edge he looked. He heard Jack spit into his palm, probably to lube himself up, but he just couldn't tear his gaze away from the endless abyss of his own eyes, watching them swirl and twirl with anticipation and lust and he was so ready for this.
Jack grabbed his hips gently and Alex braced himself on the counter, pressing his palms down against the smooth stone and watching his hands move in the mirror. He spread his legs further apart, holding his breath and just waiting.
And then Jack was just barely pushing into him, sliding in slow and careful and lovingly like the thought of hurting Alex was just the worst imaginable thing ever. Alex watched himself, watched his eyebrows furrow together, watched his mouth hang open and the veins on his neck stand out. When Jack was all the way in, he let out the breath he'd been holding in a soft moan, his arms shaking with the weight he leaned against them.
He pushed back and Jack started a rhythm. It was light at first, slow, deliberate thrusts that made his back pulse and arch like a feline. And while that was fine and dandy, while that made Alex feel precious and wonderful, he just needed that extra push, just needed a little bit more--
Jack suddenly snapped his hips forward quickly, colliding with that spot inside of him that made the world spin off its axis and slam into the sun. Alex threw his head back and moaned, leaning the back of his skull against Jack's shoulder. He wanted to shut his eyes, wanted to see the backs of his lids as Jack finally began to pick up the pace; but he just couldn't stop looking at his reflection.
The way his body was arched into Jack made his skin pull taut over his muscles, showing every ripple and tremble. His jaw was slack and his lips were pink, eyes dark and hazy with fog, hips moving back and forth with his arousal bouncing in front of him. He practically screamed when he felt Jack drive into him harder, his body pushing back automatically.
He looked like a fucking whore, like he was born with the good looks and charm to sway any man he wanted. Jack's chin hooked over his shoulder, and Alex looked at his reflection, at how strung out and crazy he looked, like he was so close to the edge but just couldn't seem to get there.
All because of Alex.
“Alex,” Jack's voice was shaking now, his hips snapping with no rhythm as he tried to get them off. “You are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. Please, don't ever think that you're less than perfect.”
Jack clamped his teeth down on his shoulder while his hand moved to pump at Alex's erection, thrusting and jerking erratically, and Alex felt like he was 5 years old again and he was at the beach with his mom and the waves just kept knocking him down and every time he got back up, they would just shove him down again until he felt like he was drowning and coughing on the salt water. He looked back at his reflection in time to see himself release, his eyes squinting and face becoming almost feral, his jaw dropping like an animal about to pounce. A scream that sounded like a disfigured version of Jack's name ripped its way out of his throat and he watched as his hands balled into fists so tight that his knuckles turned white, watched his back arch like London's bridge as his world came falling down, falling down, falling down, his whole world came falling down--
He clenched down around Jack and felt him bite down on his neck to stifle his cry, his body tensing as he let go, holding himself completely still inside of Alex. It was like the dramatic climax of the story was coming to an end, the two of them slouching together in unison as the intensity began to fade into the walls. Alex leaned his chest against the counter, resting his cheek against the cold stone as he tried to regain his breathing. He felt Jack slump over him like a warm winter coat, his body heavy and drained against him.
Shakily, Alex lifted his head to peer into the mirror once more, meeting Jack's eyes. Jack smirked, a little breathless as he said, “I bet your jealous of me now,” he kissed Alex's shoulder. “I get to see that beautiful face every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed, and you don't. I really am a lucky bastard, huh?”
XxXxX
The next morning, Alex got up for work with a small smile on his face - not one like he just won the lottery or like the smile he wore when he woke up in Jack's arms for the first time. More like a person who has accepted defeat and is kinda, sorta, really fucking glad that they did.
He walked into the closet like a fearless warrior, picking up an outfit he wouldn't have dared even considering just yesterday: Jack's jean shorts and tight black V-neck. Without putting too much thought into it, he tugged the clothing on, flattening out the wrinkles before walking out to look at himself in the mirror.
The shirt was snug, but not in a way that made him look fat or overweight - if anything, it simply outlined the curves of his body, the delicate wave of his sides. The shorts cut off right above the knees, frayed bits of jeans brushing against his legs. They hugged his thighs and ass, making them seem round and plump, but not massive or blubbery.
He grinned as he grabbed a comb and ran it through his hair, watching as each brown lock fell gracefully into place, like it had been waiting all night to arrange itself perfectly and was excited to finally get the chance. He bit his lip and stepped back so that he could see himself fully in the mirror: the curves, the ass, the hair, the smile.
He looked fucking hot.
He could have danced with how perfect it all was, with how good he looked - but when he looked over to the open doorway to see Jack leaning against the ledge and smirking at him, he stopped everything and blushed.
“Well,” Jack pushed himself up, strolling over to Alex with wild sex hair and rumpled clothes and crusty eyes. “Someone is looking mighty delectable today.”
Linking his fingers in the belt loop of Alex's (Jack's) shorts, Jack pulled him forward until their hips were touching, a Cheshire grin on his lips. “Go on, say something cocky and narcissistic - this is your morning, tell me that you already knew how fabulous you looked, tell me that you always look delectable,” Jack pushed their foreheads together. “C'mon, I wanna hear it.”
Alex chuckled and linked his arms around Jack's neck, kissing him softly before whispering against his lips. Jack grinned like he owned the fucking world as Alex scampered out of the bathroom with a laugh, listening to the front door close with his words still ringing in his ears.
“Thank you for helping me conquer my fear of the mirror.”
Author: xxninny435xx
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jalex
Summary: By the time he was ready for work, he felt about ready to cry from frustration. All that, and he hardly even looked acceptable.
Disclaimer: Don't ownnn.
Author Notes: For the 100 Themes Challenge.
[:
Alex was having one of those mornings. One of those mornings where you just wake up in a sour mood, where you can't seem to find anything to wear in the jungle of clothing that is your closet. One of those mornings where everything you try on looks stupid, where your favorite pair of jeans make you look fat, where your love handles look about ready to overflow like lava from the rim of a volcano. One of those mornings where your hair just doesn't sit right, where you seem to have pimples decorating every inch of your face, where you just feel like a fat fuck and wonder how on earth the perfect human being lying in your bed could possibly find you worthy of going out with.
Yeah. He was having one of those mornings.
He just woke up for work and everything was simply wrong. He had a headache and his ass hurt from last night. His muscles were sore and his throat was scratchy. He tried pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans and a snug T-shirt, only to frown when he saw his reflection in the mirror.
He looked huge. Christ, his ass looked about ready to rip the pants in half and his stomach was bulging out like he was pregnant. He scoffed with displeasure and tore the clothes off, heading back to the closet to find something else - something that made him look somewhat presentable, even if he felt like he looked like Sasquatch at the moment.
He tried a pair of looser jeans that were still a close fit, but not as much as the skinny jeans. They made his thighs look like elephants, so he took those off and threw them on the floor with a groan. Then, he tried his favorite pair of jeans - the ones that Jack loved because it showed off his ass and made his legs look like they went on for days.
He looked like Paula Deen trying to fit into a size 2. That just wasn't going to work.
Eventually, he was able to find something that didn't make him look bloated or pregnant or like Paula Deen in a size 2. It was a pair of old, baggy jeans that he used to wear whenever he felt lazy or tired back in high school. They used to fall down his ass, but now, they fit okay - shows how much weight he's put on since Senior year.
Finding the right top was just as difficult as finding the right bottom. He tried putting on a button-up shirt, crisp and clean from the dry cleaner, but it looked like the buttons would pop off at any minute. Then, he tried a baggy T-shirt, but with the already baggy jeans, he just looked homeless. Finally, he settled for one of Jack's turtle necks; it was a little bit big on him, big enough to hide his bulge of a stomach, but not big enough to make him look like a walking trash bag.
It also hid the hickeys Jack left on his neck. Bonus points for that.
He messed around with his hair for almost a half hour before he gave up. He had run the brush through it so much that his scalp was numb and had straightened each lock until they practically caught on fire. He tried hairspray and mist and gel, but for the life of him, he just could not get it to do what he wanted it to do. He huffed and threw his straightener back in the drawer, going back to the closet to get a beanie from the top shelf. He struggled to get it on right for several more minutes, trying to get just the right amount of stupid, uncooperative hair to sit along his forehead.
By the time he was ready for work, he felt about ready to cry from frustration. All that, and he hardly even looked acceptable.
His glaring contest with his reflection was cut short when he heard a mumbled, “Lex?” and the door creak open slowly. He turned around quickly, leaning back against the counter with a smile in Jack's direction. The other boy had clearly just woken up, his hair a tangled mess with claw marks and love bites littering his skin. He was rubbing his eye with his fist, sending a lazy smile in Alex's direction.
Jack didn't even have to try to look good. He just did.
“You okay, Lex?” Jack stumbled over and put his hands on the edge of the counter on either side of Alex's hips. He leaned his head down and nuzzled his nose into his shoulder, eyelids slipping closed.
“Yeah,” Alex lied, running a hand through Jack's sex hair. “Why wouldn't I be?”
“I dunno,” Jack kissed his jaw, pushing away slightly so that he could look Alex in the eye. “But you were looking at the mirror like it just shot your puppy, so-”
“I'm fine,” Alex smiled crookedly and pecked Jack on the lips, pushing out of the cage the other man had set around his waist and walking out of the bathroom. Jack watched him walk out, sighing when he heard the front door slam shut.
XxXxX
Alex worked at the art store down the road. He wasn't what one would call “artistic” - his cows kind of looked like white and black firetrucks - but he enjoyed the smell of paints and liked brushing his fingers over the woodcarvings. It was a cozy place to work at and he got to work alongside his friend since Freshman year of high school, Rian.
He was restocking the shelves in the kid's craft section when Rian came around, hooking his finger in the collar of his turtle neck and pulling it out. He smirked and laughed, poking Alex in the ribs before saying, “I knew I saw you limping!”
Alex's cheeks turned red as he shoved Rian away, hissing, “Fuck off!”
Rian laughed and joked, “I still can't believe you found someone to fuck you!”
And yeah, ouch, that kind of hurt. It wasn't Rian's fault, really, Alex never told him about his self-esteem or anything. In fact, back in high school, he always showed himself off as cocky and narcissistic, as someone who really just didn't give a damn about what other people thought.
Alex flipped him off with a forced grin and called, “Well, at least I'm getting laid!”
Rian laughed again and rolled his eyes, leaving to go take care of the register. As soon as he was out of sight, Alex let his smile drop and practically threw the rest of the items on the shelf.
XxXxX
Ever since they first got together, Jack was able to see through every one of Alex's little acts. He didn't need the other man to admit to him through sobs that he felt bad about himself, that he thought he was disgusting and unattractive. From the moment he opened his mouth, Jack knew that he was faking, that everything he said was just a way of covering things up to avoid showing feeling or having to deal with his emotions. And, yeah, that was fine with Jack, he didn't like dealing with his insecurities either.
But Alex just let them eat at him. They were like worms in his gut, eating away at everything until he was nothing but a shriveled up bag of bones. Sure, it was okay to have little things on your body that you didn't like - it was natural too want to look better than you already did. But worrying over every minor detail and letting it ruin your morning and crying about it every time someone pointed it out and getting angry when your lover tried to convince you that you were attractive wasn't healthy, wasn't right.
And that's when Jack began seeing that these insecurities were more than just insecurities, they were a fucking obsession.
Jack honestly had no idea what Alex saw when he looked in the mirror. He thought Alex was endlessly beautiful, thought that everything he did was sexy - from the way he would peel of his shirt after work to the way his hips swung side to side when he walked. Sure, he, like everyone else in the world, had flaws, and Jack realized that - no one was perfect, after all. But those flaws were a part of him, so Jack loved them all the same.
When he saw Alex, he saw a boy with a quirky, crooked smile and big brown eyes that were easy to run away in. When he saw Alex, he saw soft curves and smooth skin that burned his hands when he touched it. When he saw Alex, he saw a round ass that fit perfectly in his palms and long legs that could so easily wrap around his waist.
But in the end, it didn't really matter what Jack saw, right? Because if Alex didn't think so, he wasn't going to change his mind based on what Jack told him. Convincing someone as stubborn as Alex was nearly impossible to do with words.
Alex was a man who needed to be persuaded with action.
XxXxX
Alex was tired and upset and stressed out and all he wanted to do was take off his (Jack's) stupid turtle neck, crawl into his (their) stupid bed, and pass the fuck out. He didn't want to walk into the bathroom, didn't want to look in the mirror and see his stupid face or his stupid hair or his stupid love handles or his stupid muffin top or his stupid ass or his stupid appearance. He didn't want to look at Jack either, didn't want to hear him talk about how pretty he was and how beautiful he was and how sexy he was and how fucking awesome he was, cause it was lies, lies, lies, and he really didn't want to have a relationship with him stacked up on a mountain of lies, lies, lies.
He was angry at Jack for lying and angry at himself for not looking good and angry at Rian and that damn mirror for pointing it out.
He tugged off the turtle neck and threw it on top of the small mirror on top of their dresser, trying to keep his image out of it as best as he could. He kicked off his shoes and pulled down his pants, throwing that over the mirror as well for extra protection. The beanie was tossed on top of the dresser and he was so close to the bed, so close to the sheets and pillows and to sleeping off how shitty he felt, when he heard Jack groan in the bathroom.
“Alex,” his voice sounded weak and pained. “Fuck, can you get me something for my stomach? I think I ate something bad.”
Yeah, Alex really fucking wanted to avoid seeing the other man at the moment, because he knew that Jack knew what happened with the mirror that morning, and he knew that he was eventually going to bring it up. But he sounded so sick and needy and Alex couldn't just ignore him, could he?
Of course not. So he hurried to the kitchen and got some Tums before scurrying back into their bedroom. He sighed and turned his head towards the opposite direction of the mirror before turning the knob and entering the bathroom.
He was expecting to find Jack leaned over the sink or sitting on the toilet, holding his stomach and looking like he just got hit by a train (and he'd probably still look like a model, the fucker). What he was not expecting was Jack pushing him up against the door with a smirk on his face, his hands gripping Alex's wrists and pinning them beside his head. The bottle of Tums fell out of his hand and Jack kicked it away with his foot until it slipped into their closet.
Alex frowned, tugging at his wrists defiantly. “Jack, I am so not in the mood right now.”
“Well, I have been thinking about you all day long,” Jack whispered, his breath fanning out against Alex's face. He smelled like coffee and mint toothpaste. “So, I think you should get in the mood, and quickly.”
Jack's lips were on his neck then, biting and sucking the skin while his thumbs rubbed at his wrists. Alex squirmed with a frown, bending his knee up and pressing it against Jack stomach; not enough to hurt him, but enough for him to get his point across. “Jack, I'm serious, I don't want to do this right now. I had a long day and I just want to go to sleep.”
Jack ignored his words and pushed down the knee in his gut, instead moving his hands down to cradle the brunette's hips, the tips of his middle fingers meeting behind Alex's back. He brought him forward slightly, pressing their groins together and loving how warm Alex's skin was against his cold fingers.
“Jack, please, can't we do this later?” Alex pushed at Jack's shoulders, sighing exasperatedly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, but I'm so tired, c'mon, we can do this tomorrow morning or something--”
“I love every part of you,” Jack continued like Alex hadn't even spoken. His lips were going lower now, drawing a line down the middle of his chest until he was on his knees in front of him at his stomach, kissing the little bit of pudge that stuck out. His hands moved down to cup Alex's ass, squeezing slightly as he kissed the little bits of skin that hung over the sides of his boxers. “Right down to the very last hair on your pretty little head.”
Alex knew where this was going and he really didn't want to have this conversation right now, he just wanted to go to sleep and he couldn't understand why Jack would deny him this simple little request. “Jack, I'm serious, can't we talk about this some other time?”
“I think we should talk about it now.”
“Please, Jack, I had such a shitty day-”
“That's why we should talk about it now,” Jack swopped back up to cup Alex's face, kissing both of his cheeks softly. “As long as you keep feeding these insecurities, you're going to have shitty days and come home tired and fed up and not wanting to have sex with me - which, I can only handle for so long, mind you.”
Jack nuzzled his nose into Alex neck, kissing at the skin under his lips. “C'mon, I'll make you feel good. It'll loosen you up, after such a long day of working - it'll be nice, won't it? Come home from a bad day just to have your lover make you feel special and perfect. That sounds great, doesn't it?”
And, yeah, that sounded really great, especially when Jack was licking at that one spot behind Alex's ear that drove him quite insane, especially when Jack's thigh was slipped between his legs and pressing against his crotch, especially when Jack had his thumbs rubbing into his nipples and his fingers digging into his sides.
“I think you're so beautiful,” Jack continued, moving his hips forward against Alex's hip and letting him feel the growing lump in his jeans. “Don't you want me to make you feel beautiful? Don't you want to see what I see?”
“You, ah,” Alex felt his skin prickle and his spine tingle as Jack's hands hovered down his sides. “You aren't going to change my mind, ya'know.”
“I'm not so sure about that,” Jack pushed their hips together and Alex moaned, leaning his head back until it hit the door. “I can be very convincing.”
Alex wanted to retort, to bite back uh, no, I promise, you won't change my mind on this, but he was cut off when Jack's lips fell on his own, stopping any complaints from coming out.
And, yeah, Alex really couldn't stop himself from moaning into the kiss and finally raising his hands to pull at the hairs at the nape of Jack's neck - because Jack knew Alex very well, and he knew how to turn him on, even when he felt like shit, and he was totally using that to his advantage right now. All the blood in his body was circulating to his cheeks and nether regions, his mind fogging over as JackJackJackJackJack began to take over. He felt the other man run his hands over his hips, his palm rubbing against the tent in his boxers.
Groaning, Alex used one of his fingers to tap at the collar of Jack's shirt, quietly demanding him to take the damn thing off. Laughing into his mouth like the cocky little prick he was, Jack pulled away for only a second to tug the garment off before diving back in.
Alex gasped into the kiss and leaned his head back, breaking off the contact. “Jack,” he squirmed and huffed, tugging down at the hair in his hands in a silent request. After all, Jack was trying to make him feel special and beautiful and perfect, and that meant that he should do whatever the fuck Alex wanted him to do, like suck his dick or something--
Jack wasted no time on teasing as he fell down to his knees, gripping the edges of Alex's boxers and pulling them down till they circled at his ankles. Alex, suddenly wondering why he bothered to wear such a bothersome article of clothing, quickly kicked it away from him, uncaring of where it would possibly land.
“Alex,” he looked down then, at Jack nuzzling his nose into his hip and smiling up at him kindly. “You're so pretty, Alex.”
He gripped Alex by the base, causing the brunette to choke on a moan, his finger nails scratching at the door frame behind him. “So gorgeous,” Jack continued, slowly stroking him as he bit and sucked on a patch of skin on the inside of his thigh. “So perfect.”
Alex moaned, bucking his hips up and feeling his cheeks flare with embarrassment. “Like a porcelain doll,” Jack kissed his tip, Alex shivering from the contact. He wanted to grab at Jack's head, wanted to just fucking push him down on his dick, because he was hard and ready and he'd had a bad day and he was getting red in the face from Jack's compliments and he just really, really wanted him to shut the fuck up already, okay? “I can't believe something so perfect exists, that something so perfect is mine.”
Alex was about to comment on how if you don't suck my dick right now, I'm not going to be yours for much longer, but the words died in his throat as he felt Jack's lips wrap around his head, his eyes peering up at him through his hair. And then he was going down, down, down, and Alex felt himself tremble like the fucking earthquake in Japan and he heard himself gasping, wanting to cry out the other man's name but finding it hard to make his mouth produce words. So, instead, he buried his fingers in Jack's hair and tugged, hoping that he would get the message.
Jack hummed around him before his hands trailed back up his body, running over his skin delicately like he was made of glass. He tapped three of his fingers against Alex's chin lightly, and he got the point and quickly swept them in his mouth. It was a little difficult, because he kept accidentally biting down on his fingers whenever Jack bobbed his head, but he eventually got them coated with an amount of saliva that Jack apparently deemed acceptable. His hands slithered back down Alex's body until one hand was lifting his thigh up, situation his leg over Jack's shoulder and leaving him standing on one wobbly support beam. He leaned his back against the door and spread his arms to push back at the wall to keep himself steady.
Another moan rang out as Jack wriggled the tip of his finger into his entrance, teasing him with his lips curling into a smirk (well, the best smirk he could manage, consider he still had Alex in his mouth). He twisted his finger, but didn't push it any deeper, simply keeping it at the borderline.
Alex groaned with frustration before pushing back down on the finger, forcing it in deeper and hissing, “Fuck you, asshole.”
Jack laughed and Alex felt the vibrations in his throat, the air suddenly getting caught in his chest. Jack pumped his finger in and out of him, meeting his hips every time he pushed back and bobbing his head to the steady pace he set up.
When Alex felt another finger begin to nudge its way in, he nearly died. “Fuck, Jack,” Alex gasped out, his hips stuttering when he felt his gut swirl and churn. “Stop, I'm gonna--”
Jack pulled his mouth off of him, his lips red and shiny, his eyes blown wide and looking up at him like he was a fucking porn star or something. His free hand wrapped around the thigh that was hitched around his shoulder, leaning his head to the side to kiss at the flesh next to his cheek.
Finally, the third finger came, and Alex groaned - he was impatient and horny and he just wanted to get off already. He pushed back against it urgently, whimpering when he felt Jack spread his fingers out. “You look so good like this, Alex. All strung out and fucked and desperate.”
And here came the praises. Alex thought he had gotten rid of those.
“It's unbearable for me to think that you can't see how lovely and golden and special you are,” his lips moved against Alex's thigh, the light touches driving him crazy as Jack drove his fingers up into him further. And then he was pulling out of him and gently placing Alex's leg back on the ground, standing up to grab Alex's shoulders and steal a kiss. “I'm going to make you see, Alex, darling. I'm going to make you see how beautiful and sexy and flawless you are.”
And then he was being pushed against the cabinet, his hands catching the edge and his eyes lifting up to see the damned mirror standing tall and menacingly over him. He could see Jack standing behind him, watching as he locked him into place by setting both hands on the counter on either side of Alex's waist. Jack kissed the back of his shoulder and grinned at their reflection, pressing his chest against Alex's back and moving his hands down to unzip his pants and tug them - and his Iron Man boxer shorts - down low enough for him to kick them off the rest of the way.
“Alex, sometimes I don't think you realize what you do to me,” Jack licked at the shell of his ear and Alex watched him through the mirror, watched how his tongue slid across his skin and his eyes blew up. “I don't want you to watch me, baby; I want you to watch you, to see what I see.”
And Alex was so fucking out of it that he would probably jump off a fucking plane without a parachute into a fire pit filled with snakes and spiders and Satan if Jack told him to. So he stared at himself, looked into his eyes and saw how wide his pupils were, how on-edge he looked. He heard Jack spit into his palm, probably to lube himself up, but he just couldn't tear his gaze away from the endless abyss of his own eyes, watching them swirl and twirl with anticipation and lust and he was so ready for this.
Jack grabbed his hips gently and Alex braced himself on the counter, pressing his palms down against the smooth stone and watching his hands move in the mirror. He spread his legs further apart, holding his breath and just waiting.
And then Jack was just barely pushing into him, sliding in slow and careful and lovingly like the thought of hurting Alex was just the worst imaginable thing ever. Alex watched himself, watched his eyebrows furrow together, watched his mouth hang open and the veins on his neck stand out. When Jack was all the way in, he let out the breath he'd been holding in a soft moan, his arms shaking with the weight he leaned against them.
He pushed back and Jack started a rhythm. It was light at first, slow, deliberate thrusts that made his back pulse and arch like a feline. And while that was fine and dandy, while that made Alex feel precious and wonderful, he just needed that extra push, just needed a little bit more--
Jack suddenly snapped his hips forward quickly, colliding with that spot inside of him that made the world spin off its axis and slam into the sun. Alex threw his head back and moaned, leaning the back of his skull against Jack's shoulder. He wanted to shut his eyes, wanted to see the backs of his lids as Jack finally began to pick up the pace; but he just couldn't stop looking at his reflection.
The way his body was arched into Jack made his skin pull taut over his muscles, showing every ripple and tremble. His jaw was slack and his lips were pink, eyes dark and hazy with fog, hips moving back and forth with his arousal bouncing in front of him. He practically screamed when he felt Jack drive into him harder, his body pushing back automatically.
He looked like a fucking whore, like he was born with the good looks and charm to sway any man he wanted. Jack's chin hooked over his shoulder, and Alex looked at his reflection, at how strung out and crazy he looked, like he was so close to the edge but just couldn't seem to get there.
All because of Alex.
“Alex,” Jack's voice was shaking now, his hips snapping with no rhythm as he tried to get them off. “You are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. Please, don't ever think that you're less than perfect.”
Jack clamped his teeth down on his shoulder while his hand moved to pump at Alex's erection, thrusting and jerking erratically, and Alex felt like he was 5 years old again and he was at the beach with his mom and the waves just kept knocking him down and every time he got back up, they would just shove him down again until he felt like he was drowning and coughing on the salt water. He looked back at his reflection in time to see himself release, his eyes squinting and face becoming almost feral, his jaw dropping like an animal about to pounce. A scream that sounded like a disfigured version of Jack's name ripped its way out of his throat and he watched as his hands balled into fists so tight that his knuckles turned white, watched his back arch like London's bridge as his world came falling down, falling down, falling down, his whole world came falling down--
He clenched down around Jack and felt him bite down on his neck to stifle his cry, his body tensing as he let go, holding himself completely still inside of Alex. It was like the dramatic climax of the story was coming to an end, the two of them slouching together in unison as the intensity began to fade into the walls. Alex leaned his chest against the counter, resting his cheek against the cold stone as he tried to regain his breathing. He felt Jack slump over him like a warm winter coat, his body heavy and drained against him.
Shakily, Alex lifted his head to peer into the mirror once more, meeting Jack's eyes. Jack smirked, a little breathless as he said, “I bet your jealous of me now,” he kissed Alex's shoulder. “I get to see that beautiful face every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed, and you don't. I really am a lucky bastard, huh?”
XxXxX
The next morning, Alex got up for work with a small smile on his face - not one like he just won the lottery or like the smile he wore when he woke up in Jack's arms for the first time. More like a person who has accepted defeat and is kinda, sorta, really fucking glad that they did.
He walked into the closet like a fearless warrior, picking up an outfit he wouldn't have dared even considering just yesterday: Jack's jean shorts and tight black V-neck. Without putting too much thought into it, he tugged the clothing on, flattening out the wrinkles before walking out to look at himself in the mirror.
The shirt was snug, but not in a way that made him look fat or overweight - if anything, it simply outlined the curves of his body, the delicate wave of his sides. The shorts cut off right above the knees, frayed bits of jeans brushing against his legs. They hugged his thighs and ass, making them seem round and plump, but not massive or blubbery.
He grinned as he grabbed a comb and ran it through his hair, watching as each brown lock fell gracefully into place, like it had been waiting all night to arrange itself perfectly and was excited to finally get the chance. He bit his lip and stepped back so that he could see himself fully in the mirror: the curves, the ass, the hair, the smile.
He looked fucking hot.
He could have danced with how perfect it all was, with how good he looked - but when he looked over to the open doorway to see Jack leaning against the ledge and smirking at him, he stopped everything and blushed.
“Well,” Jack pushed himself up, strolling over to Alex with wild sex hair and rumpled clothes and crusty eyes. “Someone is looking mighty delectable today.”
Linking his fingers in the belt loop of Alex's (Jack's) shorts, Jack pulled him forward until their hips were touching, a Cheshire grin on his lips. “Go on, say something cocky and narcissistic - this is your morning, tell me that you already knew how fabulous you looked, tell me that you always look delectable,” Jack pushed their foreheads together. “C'mon, I wanna hear it.”
Alex chuckled and linked his arms around Jack's neck, kissing him softly before whispering against his lips. Jack grinned like he owned the fucking world as Alex scampered out of the bathroom with a laugh, listening to the front door close with his words still ringing in his ears.
“Thank you for helping me conquer my fear of the mirror.”