More personal bananas shit about love life which is boring.

[alizarin_nyc]

I know my last post was full of angst, heartbreak and regret (and even more stuff), and I'm not even going to read it. The last few weeks have been full of angst, heartbreak and some relative optimism as I did end up talking to The Brit and we agreed to continue to be in one another's lives, etc. etc. and he said "don't worry, it will take time,

Comments

[blythechild]

Yeah, that's not on. I was with someone like that once, many moons ago, and it limped on forever because I kept believing the semantic hairsplitting he kept feeding me. It was brutal when I finally wised up. The truth is that relationships are complicated but REALLY NOT AS COMPLICATED as we manufacture for ourselves. It really sounds as if he wants casual from you, to keep you waiting in the wings to make him feel better about life's stresses. But where is the reciprocation for you? You need support as well... And maybe I'm old fashioned but I don't think you should be blatantly looking around for a bit of fuck fun online if you care about someone else.

It's good to hear that you are moving forward with the divorce. There's probably not much value in dragging it out, and, YES, you will feel better about it eventually. We're all out here rooting for you as you move forward.

*This comment was brought to you by post-tooth extraction pain and codeine, so please forgive it if it comes across as excessively blunt.

[alizarin_nyc]

It's painful as hell. You're right about this semantic hairsplitting. The "we will work it out," and "I love you," "you know me better than anyone" is kind of moot when you're not so much STUDYING and getting counseling for your issues but on OKC for hours and hours (I can see you).

So I'm mad. You are right, and you've said many truths. I know *I* was looking for some fun online because I'd been kicked in the face and told many things and I thought it was making it easier on him to know that I was "dating" and not sitting around mourning. But maybe I need to sit and mourn. I still care about him and it may not be great to try going on dates. Although I find some relief from thinking about him when I get a small online flirtation going, or meet someone who is really cool and who wants to hang out. UGH. Don't even know.

OMG Post-tooth extraction! Are you okay? Not too blunt, not at all. :)) Hope you're feeling better!!!

[raqs]

blythechild is smrt.

You really can do so much better, you know.

Glad to hear you're moving on with the divorce proceedings. I'm going to set up a new religion and worship blythechild, and the sole text of our religion will be "Yes, relationships are complicated, but not as complicated as we manufacture for ourselves."

Ah-men.

[alizarin_nyc]

Well, as you know, there is the curse of the older, single woman who knows she can do better but can't afford to be too picky. But that's neither here nor there, as this situation isn't really an issue of doing better or not doing better, but just not allowing myself to be hurt over and over even by someone with no malicious intent (SEE: RE: HUSBAND).

I love me some blythechild for lo, she is a purveyor of wisdom.

I wrote down "hairsplitting semantics he was feeding me" and also what you said and also "keep me waiting in the wings," because like my EX, he does seem to have a tendency to text more frequently when he's blue and needs an ego boost, and LIKE MY EX, knows he simply can't do any better but doesn't know what to DO with me.

I raise a glass to your (assumed) ongoing happiness and partnership, and it is WELL-DESERVED for both of you. Proof that shit can happen properly and in good time and just be sensible.

<3

[filenotch]

Boot.
The.
Brit.

If he has a hard time without you there to help him with homework or stroke his ego?

GOOD!

You said it yourself. He takes and takes. Just because you have a lot to give (which you do), doesn't mean he's entitled to it.