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Comments 19

lyrstzha September 29 2013, 08:13:12 UTC
I'm sorry Max is ailing, but I'm glad he's comfortable and still with you.

Also, I really don't even slightly think your breasts are all you have going for you...but I still want to see the corset pictures.

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alizarin_nyc September 29 2013, 21:17:50 UTC
I will post them!

I'm so upset about Max, and no amount of "he lived a good life" and "it happens to us all" is helping. You know? It's a pit in my stomach.

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lycheemusing September 29 2013, 08:25:00 UTC
I am sure you are fabulous on stage. I would LOVE to see you perform. I am also sure you could find groups with whom you could practice and get feedback, like Toastmasters, but not Toastmasters, unless you can find a group like mine that is all about being funny!

It is hard to find a job where you talents are fully utilized.

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alizarin_nyc September 29 2013, 21:19:31 UTC
Yes, there is a very supportive storytelling community in NYC, but I am my own worst enemy and can't handle the very thought of being less than the best or not quite perfect. Which is stupid.

Job. Just. I don't know what to do or how to feel about that. :(

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executrix September 29 2013, 12:55:38 UTC
I'm glad it went well! So, on very short notice you stepped in and produced an SRO event that the audience loved. Move it along, nothing to see, it's not like YOU did anything.

And, by the way, people say things like "you sucked" and "it was awful" if that's what they thought, or "Oh, it was very....look! is that a butterfly?" if that's what they thought but they're tactful. So, I think "you were great" means what it says on the tin.

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alizarin_nyc September 29 2013, 21:22:15 UTC
Thanks, D. It did go well. I'm glad I had a hand in it, but you know, no one knows but me. I need to feel better about the fact that I actually got on stage and actually put on my fancy clothes, but it's like I'm just not capable of handling anything in the way that other people can. Everything is critical, a failure, an anxiety-causing landslide of shit.

One comment I got on the performance was "you didn't say ummmmm, like a lot of people do."

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executrix September 29 2013, 21:38:03 UTC
Ummm, I think the reason that psychoactive substances, from beta blockers to chocolate-covered pretzels, are popular is that basically "everything is an anxiety-causing landslide of shit" IS the way other people handle things. Doesn't make it any less painful when you're the one it's happening to but I think it's pretty much the definition of "normal."

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panisdead September 29 2013, 15:21:39 UTC
I don't know, when I've flubbed amateur performances, what tended to happen afterward was that people didn't say anything and kind of avoided me. I assume this reaction is because they're embarrassed and don't know how to tactfully acknowledge that they just watched you do something godawful. So I'm thinking, "That was great, I loved it!" is honest praise. :)

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alizarin_nyc September 29 2013, 21:23:54 UTC
Some people ARE avoiding me and not saying anything. I need to not care, but I'm not built that way. I would LOVE to be built that way.

I know that if you had seen it you would have loved it and been supportive!!! (Or at least, tactful :)

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draycevixen September 29 2013, 16:26:49 UTC

I'm glad to hear that Max is hanging in there. ♥

It seems to me that you have a lot more going for you than your breasts... not to slight your breasts of course. *g*

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alizarin_nyc September 29 2013, 21:27:25 UTC
My breasts can't be slight, it's impossible.

Max is hanging in, but I don't want to be that person who keeps him alive just for my own selfish needs. I can't determine that line right now, so I'm paralyzed.

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