Comments | alien_writings: Not Enough Culture Shock

alien_writings

Not Enough Culture Shock

Jul 07, 2013 11:50

More I Prefer the Mind Control. I'm also using this for hc_bingo prompt "culture shock." I'm definitely still playing around with what happens in this verse, lol. I hope you enjoy!

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“I can’t believe you’re drinking that weird blue stuff,” Bonnie says, narrowing her eyes at my glass.

( It’s full of a blue bubbly liquid known as Zimaran Blue or ZB. )

character: bonnie, pairing: bonnie/dylan, hc_bingo, character: dylan, pov: dylan, original fiction, rating: r, trigger: language, series: i prefer the mind control

Comments 5

theun4givables July 7 2013, 18:36:56 UTC

Please don't be mad at me, but the whole idea of Bonnie leaving Dylan because he's not experiencing enough culture shock? It doesn't work for me. At all. Bonnie wanting to leave Zimara because it's too weird of a planet for her and she can't deal with the culture shock, sure? Her being a little miffed that he seems to just blend right in and she can't? Sure. But being so pissed at him for blending right in that she breaks up with him ( ... )

alien_writings July 7 2013, 18:57:50 UTC

So, it might work if she decides to go home, they stay together, and long distance does them in? Like...if he starts getting too close emotionally to Xan while she's gone or something? Would it make any sense if he's allowed to leave (the threat being mostly neutralized) and Bonnie is like "WTF, you WANT to stay?" And then having them fight over it, decide to stay together even though Bonnie's going home and eventually break up anyway?

My earlier idea was that Bonnie gets sick and has to go back to Earth, and that's why they were separated physically. I'm not sure I love that idea, though, because it almost seems like too...easy of a reason for Bonnie to leave, having little to do with the dynamic between Bonnie and Dylan themselves.

theun4givables July 7 2013, 20:43:00 UTC

Yeah, that would seem way more likely to me than her just being pissed about him dealing with way less culture shock. It would also be plausible, to me, if they fought over staying or going. Dylan would obviously wanna stay, he fits in there and feels comfortable. Bonnie would want to leave because of the opposite feeling. That fight would make sense, and they'd probably stick it out until long distance became too much.

The illness thing feels too convenient/contrived, to me, too.

alien_writings July 8 2013, 06:40:58 UTC

Now I'm wondering if someone like Dylan (who isn't particularly mature for his age, which is 20 or thereabouts) would even have the communication skills and emotional maturity necessary to develop a healthy open relationship with anybody. I like the idea of him having a girlfriend at the beginning, but I am not sure it is all THAT plausible for his character for him to have an open relationship. And if he had a girlfriend in a monogamous relationship, he wouldn't sleep with Xan. And I know he gets involved with Xan...otherwise, there would be no plot.

Unless Xan had a one-sided (at first) crush on him and that was somehow enough to make Dylan have to leave his homeworld? But that seems kind of ridiculous. Or if he breaks up with his girlfriend in the beginning and Xan is just supposed to be a rebound or something? I don't knoooooow, lol.

This story is proving difficult to wrangle. I have the super-frustrating sense of THIS COULD BE SO AWESOME IF I COULD JUST GET IT RIGHT. Heh.

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