More I Prefer the Mind Control. I'm also using this for
hc_bingo prompt "culture shock." I'm definitely still playing around with what happens in this verse, lol. I hope you enjoy!
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“I can’t believe you’re drinking that weird blue stuff,” Bonnie says, narrowing her eyes at my glass.
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It’s full of a blue bubbly liquid known as Zimaran Blue or ZB. )
I mean, sure, it COULD work. If they didn't have an apparently solid enough relationship to manage being poly. I mean, the level of communication and trust they would have needed in each other in order to have an open relationship is pretty staggering. So something as simple as this isn't enough or believable as a reason for Bonnie to want to break things up with him. I could see her wanting to go home, and being upset that he didn't want to go back, but it would be the long distance that eventually did them in, nothing else.
Seriously, this whole thing did not work for me at all because I couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough to get into it. I'm sorry, dude. =/
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My earlier idea was that Bonnie gets sick and has to go back to Earth, and that's why they were separated physically. I'm not sure I love that idea, though, because it almost seems like too...easy of a reason for Bonnie to leave, having little to do with the dynamic between Bonnie and Dylan themselves.
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The illness thing feels too convenient/contrived, to me, too.
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Unless Xan had a one-sided (at first) crush on him and that was somehow enough to make Dylan have to leave his homeworld? But that seems kind of ridiculous. Or if he breaks up with his girlfriend in the beginning and Xan is just supposed to be a rebound or something? I don't knoooooow, lol.
This story is proving difficult to wrangle. I have the super-frustrating sense of THIS COULD BE SO AWESOME IF I COULD JUST GET IT RIGHT. Heh.
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Not saying Xan is the first person he slept with outside his primary relationship, but that Xan is the first real attachment he made aside from Bonnie since they opened up their relationship, and he can't balance the two.
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