If you want to read the previous chapters in this fanfic about Devin's mental instability, they are linked below.
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It’s been weeks, maybe months, maybe longer since I got stuck in the Home for the Intractably Insane. Don’t know how long I’ve been in here. Time flows wrong in this place -- it’s got no meaning. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even fucking alive.
I lie on my bed and grab my arms. Squeeze hard enough it hurts. Feel my fingers dig into my skin. It’s grounding. Lets me know I’m still fucking human. Or close enough to it -- but what kinda fucking human lets his best friend die?
The longer I’m fucking in here, the more I realize Eric’s dead. Fucking gone. Not coming back. He doesn’t show up so much anymore. Used to appear all the time -- I even thought he was fucking real. Still alive. Thanks to Al’s “therapy,” I know the boy who shows up beside me is just my fucking imagination.
Know what, though? Don’t fucking care about that. Al can go on and on about how Eric’s not there, and I’m still gonna want him to show up. He’s my only friend, imaginary or not. Doesn’t matter if he’s “real” -- not like I’ve got anybody else. Wish I could go back to believing he’s real, too. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with what I fucking did -- wouldn’t have to deal with what I let happen. Should have been me.
Hear a strange noise -- fucking high-pitched screaming. The fuck? I’m trying to rest. Pull the covers over my head. Can still hear the fucking screaming. Grumbling, I get up from my bed. I walk to the door and open it a bit.
Fucking pregnant Rose is there. Surrounded by three security guards. What did she do? Rose fucking headbutts a guard. Knocks him flat on his ass. Another grabs her arm. She flings him off -- not fucking possible.
“It’s all one side!” she shouts as she makes a break for the door. The fuck does that mean?
She kicks open the door. They must have left it unlocked when the guards came in. Rose races down the hallway. Fucking disappears around a corner.
Everyone in the hallway’s frozen -- looks like nobody can believe what she did. I can’t believe what she did -- chick is fucking pregnant and nobody escapes from here.
I want to escape from here. So fucking much. Haven’t been able to figure out how. I’m not Rose -- can’t just beat a bunch of guards into submission and kick down a convenient door. I’ve checked all the locks and doors around here -- everything’s sealed. Most of the time. Security’s gonna get worse if Rose makes it out, too.
Wonder how much chance at getting free she even has. How many doors will she have to kick down to leave the building? Don’t know how big the Home for the Intractably Insane is -- was fucking unconscious when they brought me here.
Heard enough rumors that places like this go on forever. They’re supposed to be fucking mazes -- so we can’t escape. No idea how true that is, though. Hope like hell Rose makes it -- don’t care about her, but if she can do it, maybe I can, too.
* * *
I’m lying on my bed when the fucking Care Assistant knocks on my door. Opens it without a chance for me to tell her to go away. The fuck? Now is a Designated Rest Period. We’re supposed to fucking nap -- not supposed to have stupid Care Assistants bothering us.
I glare at her. “Go away. I’m trying to rest,” I mutter.
“You can’t rest now,” she murmurs, shaking her head.
Can’t rest during a Designated Rest Period? That makes no fucking sense. I sit up and cross my arms over my chest. “But it’s resting time,” I say.
“I know it is, but there’s an Emergency Group Meeting now. You have to go -- no arguing this time, Devin,” she says. Looks like she means it, too. Fuck.
“Couldn’t they schedule the fucking emergency for another time?” I grumble. I’m tired -- didn’t sleep so well last night. Dreams of death and fire and burning houses. I shiver just remembering them.
Need fucking SynthBrew, but they don’t let us have that here. Says it makes us too “excitable.” Rose was fucking “excitable” even without it. I would feel so much saner with my SynthBrew, but I’m starting to think they’re trying to make us even crazier in here. Feel like some kinda animal in a cage -- wonder sometimes if I’m part of a giant experiment. Yeah, this place is making me crazier, alright.
“Group is happening now, and you better go,” the Care Assistant mutters. She glares at me. “You better not be late.” Then, she leaves.
I think about skipping. Don’t wanna listen to Al or whoever spout bullshit for an hour. Something makes me go, though.
When I arrive, all of the others are there. I take a seat. Hard to fucking breathe in here. Everyone’s twitchy -- including me. Can’t help fidgeting. I’ve got a bad feeling about this stupid meeting.
Al arrives. He looks fucking grave -- the expression on his face makes my stomach seize up. I don’t like it.
“As you know, an Emergency Group Meeting was called,” he says as he takes his seat. Why the fuck did he say there was an emergency meeting if we knew that?
“You should know by now that your fellow inmate Rose Gifford recently tried to escape the Home for the Intractably Insane,” he continues. “You should also know that this is a serious offense.” He looks at us all, as if daring us to fucking contradict him.
My stomach seizes up even worse -- don’t think they would mention Rose if she made it out.
Alex crosses his arms over his chest. “Yeah, we know. So, what happened to her?” he asks.
I wanna know that, too. Fucking hope she made it.
“I was just getting to that, Alex. Rose was transferred to the Maximum Security Unit of this facility,” he says, clasping his hands to together.
“The MaxiSec?” Nem asks. He’s fucking incredulous, but it doesn’t surprise me.
Al nods. “Yes, the MaxiSec. It’s the only place for a troublemaker like her,” he says.
My stomach sinks -- Rose didn’t make it. And now she’s in the MaxiSec. If those rumors are true, it’s even worse than here. What chance do I have? Don’t wanna end up in the fucking Maximum Security Unit. I hug myself and shiver just thinking about what could happen to me if I made a bid for freedom.
Al looks around at us all again. “She made it much farther than a pregnant girl had any right to. What I’m wondering is...did young Rose have any, ah, assistance?”
“Are you accusing us of helping Rose to escape?” Alex mutters. His arms are still crossed over his chest.
“I am,” Al says. “And it would be best for any accomplices to admit their involvement now, if they don’t want to, hmm, make things worse for themselves.” He glares at us. I don’t doubt he will make things worse for us.
Nobody moves. Think some of us don’t even dare to fucking breathe. It’s too silent in the Group room. Wanna get out of here -- I sure as fuck didn’t help Rose to escape, but I don’t know if Al will believe me.
“No one?” he asks. “Are you sure about that?”
More fucking tense silence. I wonder if Rose did have any help. I don’t wanna get in trouble for something another person did.
After way too long, Al speaks. Voice is like fucking ice. He says, “If you’re sure, I suppose that’s it. Right now, there isn’t enough evidence to point to any specific person, but, rest assured, we will find any accomplices. They will, of course, be punished accordingly.”
I shudder -- I can’t imagine that means anything good. Al scares the shit out of me. This whole place does. Somehow, his threats and Rose’s escape attempt make me wanna leave even more, but how the fuck will I escape now if I wanna stay out of the MaxiSec?
Don’t know the answer to that, but I do know one thing -- escape matters now more than ever. If I don’t get outta here soon, I will fucking lose my mind. I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.
Al won’t fucking win.
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