This is a crossover fanfiction of my
The Meeting of Breccan & Finbar and
n3m3sis43's
Cliffton universes. For context, it might help to read
n3m3sis43's piece,
Everything You Touch.
Chapter 1,
Chapter 2,
Chapter 3,
Chapter 4,
Chapter 5,
Chapter 6,
Chapter 7,
Chapter 8,
Chapter 9 ---------
Best fucking sex of my life last night. Wasn't just about the sex, though. Wes - I can't fucking believe he still wants, still loves me. But he does. Even after everything that's happened. Not sure how I'm gonna fucking deal with that. Doesn't feel real. And things still aren't right.
I gotta make them right. Have to do something to deserve Wes. Don't fucking deserve him right now, even if he wants me. Doesn't matter if he says I do. I fucking don't. Not yet.
But what can I fucking do to make up for all the shit I've done? Got no ideas. Need to figure out something, though.
Wish Wes were in bed with me right now. But he's out making breakfast. Said he would bring it to me. He's got it fucking backwards. Should be me making him breakfast in bed. I'm not the one who almost fucking died. Was Wes who almost died. Because of me. Always fucking because of me.
Don't understand how he's so fucking healthy. My powers. I did that. I'm why he's up making fucking breakfast. Still don't understand it. My fucking powers kill people. Don't heal. But they did. Wonder if I can use the powers to fix things, somehow. But everyone else in need of healing is already fucking dead.
Makes me wonder - can I bring people back from the dead?
No time to wonder because Wes comes back then. And -
“Holy shit, dude! A waffle sundae sandwich?” Can't fucking believe it.
He says, “I know it's your favorite. You deserve a treat after everything. I know you don't need to eat, but maybe these will cheer you up anyway?”
“But -”
“No arguing. Just try your waffles.” Wes won't fucking take no for an answer.
I take the plate and start eating my waffles. Even though eating is fucking weird, I figure it out for Wes. I don't deserve a fucking treat. Wes - he deserves a treat. Not me. Don't wanna argue with him, though. Not now. Not when he looks so fucking proud of the food he made for me. Can't let him down.
“Thanks, dude,” I mumble.
“No problem!” Fucking biggest smile I've seen all day.
Might be smiling myself. Hard not to smile around Wes. He just has that effect on me. Gotta do what I can to deserve him. To earn these fucking waffles. Start forming a plan in my mind. Don't know how fucking possible it is, but maybe, just fucking maybe, it will help.
Maris should know. Should be able to tell me if I can do what I'm thinking. Hope it's fucking possible. Need it to be fucking possible. No other way to make up for all the hurt I've caused. None that I can fucking see, anyway.
Nothing to do but eat my fucking waffles and hope for the best.
* * *
After fucking training now. Time to ask Maris about my plan. Everyone else has gone back inside. Now or never, dude.
Too bad she's not in a good mood. Fucking scowling. Don't blame her, not after how training went. At least she got to punch fucking Kalen in the gut a few more times? Asshole deserved it. Kalen's not even trying at practice. And he's the fucking leader.
Still, I gotta do this. Doesn't matter how pissed off Maris is. Gotta fucking make things right. Will make things right. Even if Maris fucking scares me.
“Hey, Maris?” I ask.
She turns to me, still scowling. “Yeah, Devin? You know any way to get through to Kalen? I can't seem to make him take things seriously, no matter how many times I punch him.”
“Can't help you there,” I mutter.
She keeps scowling. “Didn't think so. Do you want something?
“Yeah, got a question,” I say.
“And what is your question?” she wonders. Fucking impatient.
Gotta just fucking ask. No matter how awkward. “It possible to - bring people back from the dead, if you're a god?”
Maris stops scowling. Looks at me like I've fucking lost it. “Devin, are you serious?”
“Fucking serious,” I answer. “Only way to make things right.”
Gives me a fucking a death glare. “Let me guess. Either you want to revive the people you've killed, or you want to bring back someone else whose death you think you're responsible for.”
I nod. “Want to fucking fix everything, you know.”
Fucking scary look she gives me, worse than her normal death glare. “It's possible to bring someone back. One person every thousand years, per god. That said, do not fucking do this. It is a a horrible, horrible idea. Resurrection almost never ends well. It can cause instability in the fabric of time. It's not worth it, Devin.”
Heart's racing, though it no longer beats. Possible. It's fucking possible!
“You're going to do it anyway, aren't you?” Maris asks.
“Won't just let my mistakes go, Maris,” I say.
“Adding a mistake on top of your other mistakes won't do any good,” she warns. “I'm sure you're familiar with the idea that two wrongs don't make a right?”
Don't fucking care. This - not a fucking wrong. It will set everything right. Even now, don't wanna think about it. But I fucking have to. Gotta do this. Gotta fucking fix things. It all went wrong then. So I'll undo my horrible fucking mistake.
I mumble, “Yeah, I'm familiar. Doesn't matter. Still have to do this.”
“And nothing I can say will change your mind, will it?” Maris sighs.
Shake my head. “No, nothing will. This - just something I gotta do, okay?”
“If you destroy the fabric of reality, don't say I didn't warn you,” she mutters.
“Yeah, got it,” I say.
Warnings don't fucking matter. No matter how hard Maris glares at me. I healed Wes just fine. So I can do this, too. Won't fucking destroy reality or anything. Will fix my reality. Give Eric another fucking chance. He lost his first one because of me. Can't fucking live with that, okay?
Maris sighs again. “So, one more time, there's nothing I can say to stop you, right?”
“No, there's nothing.” Fucking nothing she could say.
“In that case, I'll help you,” she says.
The fuck? She just say she'll fucking help me? Can't have heard that right. Gotta be imagining things.
“You'll help?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah, I'll help you.”
“Why?” Can't help fucking wondering.
“Because I want to minimize the damage you'll almost certainly cause with this deluded scheme of yours. As a mage, it's my duty to use magic responsibly, and that apparently means trying to make sure the God of Questionable Judgment doesn't destroy the world,” she mutters.
Heart fucking races again. Help. Maris will fucking help me. Even though she thinks this is a terrible idea. Don't see why. Can't she understand I need to fix my fucking mistakes? Doesn't matter, though. She'll fucking help me. That's what matters.
“Thank you. Glad you'll help me,” I say.
She shakes her head. “Don't thank me until we're done and all of us have survived this reckless idea of yours. I can't guarantee my help will keep things from going wrong, or that this will even work in the first place. I'm no miracle worker, and you aren't either.”
I'm a fucking deity. Can work miracles if I want. Fucking need to work this miracle. With Maris' help, I can do this. Will do this. No other choice. Gotta ignore the way my gut twists up in fucking worry. No room for fucking worry.
Glance at Maris. “Can we do it now?”
“We can. After all, why wait to destroy the world?” she says.
I nod. “Alright, let's fucking do this.”
Time to make things right.
---------
written for
500themes prompt #336 - "Unfathomable Truth"