Broken Promise
This is Part Nine in a series.
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight
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Horror enveloped me. No, no, no this shouldn't be happening, I thought. Finbar simply stood there. He looked as horrified as I felt, though there was something else in his face I couldn't quite read. As I went soft, Egan let that part of me go, though he didn't remove his other hand from my chest.
Of all the times for Finbar to walk into the room, he had to walk in now. I didn't even have words; at the very least, my partner and roommate deserved an apology. Alas, being caught rendered me completely incapable of giving one.
Egan, of course, wasn't so speechless. “It's polite to knock, you know.”
“In my own room?” he wondered. I thought I saw tears in his eyes.
After a terrifying pause, Finbar pleaded, “Breccan, tell me; why did you do this?”
How did I explain the why of it? Egan had inhuman power over me, but was that actually an excuse? It seemed so flimsy to tell Finbar that I simply couldn't resist the god, but I had no other reason for allowing him to get so close.
“I - I didn't want to,” I managed.
“You're really going to tell me that? I saw your face, when he - when you...” Finbar's voice cracked; he sounded almost hysterical.
Egan pulled me closer and slid his other hand under my shirt. I should have moved, but I remained frozen. Even now, my body craved his touch. Even now, when I couldn't look at Finbar and wished I could disappear into the ground.
He purred, “Oh, he did want to, I assure you. He simply can't resist me.”
“That's exactly it!” I blurted out. “Egan's got some kind of power over me, but I-I - I don't like it.”
“You don't like it, so you let him hold you like that while I'm standing right here?” he asked. Tears spilled from his eyes.
My heart broke. I stammered, “Egan, w-would you let me go?”
He murmured, “For now.”
Slowly, he slid his hands down my chest. That simple movement was too seductive, and I shivered a little even as my own eyes stung.
Finbar demanded, “You're going to cry over this when you're the one who betrayed me?”
I wanted to make him understand. This - I didn't want this. Egan just took whatever he wanted, and my feelings had nothing to do with it. It was all physical reaction. Wasn't it? I didn't think I felt any emotional attachment to the god.
Burning with shame, I pulled my underclothes and trousers back up. Finbar still stood in the doorway; he appeared frozen as well. The look of hurt on his face sent pangs through my chest, and I started shaking.
Finbar's face hardened. “You're acting like you're the hurt party! What right do you have to get so dramatic over a mistake you made?”
“None,” I whispered as the tears rolled down my face anyway.
Egan stepped forward so that he was next to me. He stroked my cheek, and still I made no move to stop him. He told Finbar, “Now, now, it's perfectly understandable that Breccan here would be upset. After all, he does have some manner of affection for you. Nothing like what he feels for me, of course.”
“You're not helping,” I muttered. “And don't touch me!” Finally, I stood up for myself.
It wasn't enough.
Finbar's face hardened even more. “It's a little late to be telling him not to touch you, don't you think?”
Egan murmured, “I would agree. What's done is done, yes?” He trailed his fingers down the back of my neck. This time, I didn't bother resisting, as apparently that just angered Finbar.
“What in the hells is going on?” Maris appeared in the doorway next to Finbar. She glared at Egan, whose hand still rested on my neck. “What the fuck are you doing to him?”
“I was just enjoying myself with Breccan here when Finbar so rudely interrupted us,” the god explained.
“You were doing what with him?” Maris demanded.
If I judged her correctly, she seemed far more angry with Egan than with me. Maris looked at him like he were the scum of the Earth. Maybe she would understand that I didn't willingly submit to Egan's attentions, not exactly, anyway.
Egan said, “I got dear Breccan a little, hmm, excited and was helping him with that. Finbar didn't take too well to it when he caught us.”
Finbar stiffened, such anger and hurt emanating from him that I wanted to vanish. It was all my fault, but I couldn't resist Egan, though I desperately wanted to.
“Of course I didn't take it well when my lover was unfaithful!” he hissed.
Maris walked right up to Egan. She stared him down, somehow seeming as tall as he was, though she was in reality much shorter. The god didn't even flinch; he just looked at her curiously, evidently wondering why she would invade his personal space like that.
“Did you even give Breccan a choice?” Maris demanded.
“Excuse me?” Egan asked.
“I know gods,” Maris explained. “No better than spoiled little children who think they can take whatever they want, consequences for the people around them be damned.”
That shocked Egan; his eyes widened. “You're calling me a child? I am far older than you, young one.”
“So old you forgot us mayflies have lives and feelings,” she hissed.
Egan said, “I am perfectly aware of Breccan's feelings. I know how much he wants me and, more importantly, I know how weak his love for Finbar really is.”
Like me, my roommate appeared frozen in place, both mesmerized and horrified by Maris and Egan's conversation.
Maris continued to glare at Egan. “You know nothing of love!”
“Oh? You don't know the legends about gods and their human lovers?” he asked.
She muttered, “I know enough to know when a god turns his attentions towards a mortal, he will be impossible to resist, no matter what the mortal truly wants.”
Egan put an arm around my waist. Like usual, I let him. I had lost Finbar, as well as all my meager willpower.
The god said, “That's true enough, but you're forgetting one major thing, Maris. The legends may say I'm irresistible, but there is one thing that can counter my charms: true love.”
Maris' eyes widened. My stomach sank. I thought I knew what Egan was getting at, and, if I were right, it would only make the situation worse.
Egan continued, “If a god chooses a mortal who is truly in love with another, that mortal will be able to resist him. But, if the mortal's feelings for his fellow human aren't quite true, he will fall prey to the god's charms. Breccan, obviously, isn't able to resist me, despite claiming to want Finbar. Therefore, he must not have ever been truly in love with him.”
Finbar looked like he might crumple to the ground. I wanted to curl up and never unfurl. The only thing keeping me from falling was Egan's firm grip on my waist. This was all wrong, yet the god's words rang with truth. Even Maris didn't challenge him on his statement. The happiness and hope I felt when I first became official with Finbar was all gone. I didn't think I would ever feel hope again.
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written for 500themes prompt #108 - "Promise Me"
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight
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Horror enveloped me. No, no, no this shouldn't be happening, I thought. Finbar simply stood there. He looked as horrified as I felt, though there was something else in his face I couldn't quite read. As I went soft, Egan let that part of me go, though he didn't remove his other hand from my chest.
Of all the times for Finbar to walk into the room, he had to walk in now. I didn't even have words; at the very least, my partner and roommate deserved an apology. Alas, being caught rendered me completely incapable of giving one.
Egan, of course, wasn't so speechless. “It's polite to knock, you know.”
“In my own room?” he wondered. I thought I saw tears in his eyes.
After a terrifying pause, Finbar pleaded, “Breccan, tell me; why did you do this?”
How did I explain the why of it? Egan had inhuman power over me, but was that actually an excuse? It seemed so flimsy to tell Finbar that I simply couldn't resist the god, but I had no other reason for allowing him to get so close.
“I - I didn't want to,” I managed.
“You're really going to tell me that? I saw your face, when he - when you...” Finbar's voice cracked; he sounded almost hysterical.
Egan pulled me closer and slid his other hand under my shirt. I should have moved, but I remained frozen. Even now, my body craved his touch. Even now, when I couldn't look at Finbar and wished I could disappear into the ground.
He purred, “Oh, he did want to, I assure you. He simply can't resist me.”
“That's exactly it!” I blurted out. “Egan's got some kind of power over me, but I-I - I don't like it.”
“You don't like it, so you let him hold you like that while I'm standing right here?” he asked. Tears spilled from his eyes.
My heart broke. I stammered, “Egan, w-would you let me go?”
He murmured, “For now.”
Slowly, he slid his hands down my chest. That simple movement was too seductive, and I shivered a little even as my own eyes stung.
Finbar demanded, “You're going to cry over this when you're the one who betrayed me?”
I wanted to make him understand. This - I didn't want this. Egan just took whatever he wanted, and my feelings had nothing to do with it. It was all physical reaction. Wasn't it? I didn't think I felt any emotional attachment to the god.
Burning with shame, I pulled my underclothes and trousers back up. Finbar still stood in the doorway; he appeared frozen as well. The look of hurt on his face sent pangs through my chest, and I started shaking.
Finbar's face hardened. “You're acting like you're the hurt party! What right do you have to get so dramatic over a mistake you made?”
“None,” I whispered as the tears rolled down my face anyway.
Egan stepped forward so that he was next to me. He stroked my cheek, and still I made no move to stop him. He told Finbar, “Now, now, it's perfectly understandable that Breccan here would be upset. After all, he does have some manner of affection for you. Nothing like what he feels for me, of course.”
“You're not helping,” I muttered. “And don't touch me!” Finally, I stood up for myself.
It wasn't enough.
Finbar's face hardened even more. “It's a little late to be telling him not to touch you, don't you think?”
Egan murmured, “I would agree. What's done is done, yes?” He trailed his fingers down the back of my neck. This time, I didn't bother resisting, as apparently that just angered Finbar.
“What in the hells is going on?” Maris appeared in the doorway next to Finbar. She glared at Egan, whose hand still rested on my neck. “What the fuck are you doing to him?”
“I was just enjoying myself with Breccan here when Finbar so rudely interrupted us,” the god explained.
“You were doing what with him?” Maris demanded.
If I judged her correctly, she seemed far more angry with Egan than with me. Maris looked at him like he were the scum of the Earth. Maybe she would understand that I didn't willingly submit to Egan's attentions, not exactly, anyway.
Egan said, “I got dear Breccan a little, hmm, excited and was helping him with that. Finbar didn't take too well to it when he caught us.”
Finbar stiffened, such anger and hurt emanating from him that I wanted to vanish. It was all my fault, but I couldn't resist Egan, though I desperately wanted to.
“Of course I didn't take it well when my lover was unfaithful!” he hissed.
Maris walked right up to Egan. She stared him down, somehow seeming as tall as he was, though she was in reality much shorter. The god didn't even flinch; he just looked at her curiously, evidently wondering why she would invade his personal space like that.
“Did you even give Breccan a choice?” Maris demanded.
“Excuse me?” Egan asked.
“I know gods,” Maris explained. “No better than spoiled little children who think they can take whatever they want, consequences for the people around them be damned.”
That shocked Egan; his eyes widened. “You're calling me a child? I am far older than you, young one.”
“So old you forgot us mayflies have lives and feelings,” she hissed.
Egan said, “I am perfectly aware of Breccan's feelings. I know how much he wants me and, more importantly, I know how weak his love for Finbar really is.”
Like me, my roommate appeared frozen in place, both mesmerized and horrified by Maris and Egan's conversation.
Maris continued to glare at Egan. “You know nothing of love!”
“Oh? You don't know the legends about gods and their human lovers?” he asked.
She muttered, “I know enough to know when a god turns his attentions towards a mortal, he will be impossible to resist, no matter what the mortal truly wants.”
Egan put an arm around my waist. Like usual, I let him. I had lost Finbar, as well as all my meager willpower.
The god said, “That's true enough, but you're forgetting one major thing, Maris. The legends may say I'm irresistible, but there is one thing that can counter my charms: true love.”
Maris' eyes widened. My stomach sank. I thought I knew what Egan was getting at, and, if I were right, it would only make the situation worse.
Egan continued, “If a god chooses a mortal who is truly in love with another, that mortal will be able to resist him. But, if the mortal's feelings for his fellow human aren't quite true, he will fall prey to the god's charms. Breccan, obviously, isn't able to resist me, despite claiming to want Finbar. Therefore, he must not have ever been truly in love with him.”
Finbar looked like he might crumple to the ground. I wanted to curl up and never unfurl. The only thing keeping me from falling was Egan's firm grip on my waist. This was all wrong, yet the god's words rang with truth. Even Maris didn't challenge him on his statement. The happiness and hope I felt when I first became official with Finbar was all gone. I didn't think I would ever feel hope again.
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written for 500themes prompt #108 - "Promise Me"