Hierarchies of Free

[alexanderscttb]

“Sometimes I feel as if there’s
a vast guerilla war going on
for the mind of man. . .”
-James Douglas Morrison-It takes all strokes

Comments

[cacophonesque]

The wording here comes across as simultaneously passionate and sterile. And certain phrasing leaves me re-reading in loop.

[alexanderscttb]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[cacophonesque]

Re-reading in loop isn't necessarily a bad thing! It's more about the density of words/meaning, so I keep coming back to see what more I can glean.

[alexanderscttb]

Yeah, when things imply a circle, I feel that is a good thing too.
It's the charge of sterility which is more serious. Off of the top of my head, sterility is good for say, a medical operation, but, well. . . in poetry. . .

[bleodswean]

Such a complicated bit of thought which you've translated well into a complex poem. Your last stanza is a gut punch and I agree. What have we become.

[alexanderscttb]

Thank you so much!
I feel that we have collectively degraded. . . but when did anyone ever consider life to be a walk in the park? We just need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep fighting until the end. And maybe even then some--

[bleodswean]

I worry about labeling modern societies as anything too terribly negative. Obviously, nuclear armaments are beyond the pale and collectively speaking would summarize this era of humanity as the worst. But you and I didn't invent, create, engineer, plan, etc, that sort of destructive force so I don't think we should take ownership of it, either. I oftentimes laugh to myself when I hear folks bandying about the belief that we are a "death culture" or nihilistic because that's absolutely untrue. We've made ourselves an easy target for this sort of pedestrian judgment, but the truth is modern humans are positive, happy, joyful, compassionate creatures that work hard for good. There have been cultures on this planet that absolutely positively were "death cults" and perhaps we should meditate on perspective more than we do. Educate perspective.

[alexanderscttb]

I think that’s a great point

[murielle]

(Insert expletive of choice)! This is G O O D! Really good!

[alexanderscttb]

Ha ha. You can feel free to swear on this page, if you were so inclined.
Thank you for your explicit support!

[karmasoup]

On top of the sensual delicacy here, you could also teach a class on how much there is to unpack, and that would be essential learning for these times. Mandating peace will never be possible, because mankind will always be who we are. I'm sure we're past an agrarian return, because that bell can't be unrung, but our progress doesn't always feel like progress. Many have never accepted total obedience must be our fate, but not enough. Ignorance is a choice, but it's also the default, not just because we're born into it, but because the easier, safer, more comfortable path is given to us like a morpine drip, and escaping it is not just a choice, but also a lifelong uphill batter. I don't know how we will ever achieve a healthy balance. I don't know that it's not in our nature to destroy ourselves, and everything we touch. I don't know that it's not just an inevitable matter of time, and the best we can hope for is to create and perceive the beauty where we can along the way.

[alexanderscttb]

I want to thank you for taking the time to respond so in full to this

[static_abyss]

You managed to convey a lot of understandable amd valid arguments into your poem. And you did it in such a nicely fluid piece. Well done!

[alexanderscttb]

I really appreciate that!
In hindsight I feel that I could have done more to bolster the fluidity, but your words of encouragement help me see that it was a worthwhile exercise.
I hope in the future I can balance arguments with poetics in a more mature way.