Hierarchies of Free

[alexanderscttb]

“Sometimes I feel as if there’s
a vast guerilla war going on
for the mind of man. . .”
-James Douglas Morrison-It takes all strokes

Comments

[cacophonesque]

The wording here comes across as simultaneously passionate and sterile. And certain phrasing leaves me re-reading in loop.

[alexanderscttb]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[cacophonesque]

Re-reading in loop isn't necessarily a bad thing! It's more about the density of words/meaning, so I keep coming back to see what more I can glean.

[alexanderscttb]

Yeah, when things imply a circle, I feel that is a good thing too.
It's the charge of sterility which is more serious. Off of the top of my head, sterility is good for say, a medical operation, but, well. . . in poetry. . .

[cacophonesque]

I think it's more of the technology themes... Some of the language feels cool and detached, and that juxtaposition with the passion of freedom creates a point of interest to me. How can I experience two seemingly opposite feelings at the same time?

[alexanderscttb]

I am definitely not trying to deny your experience of that. Experiencing two disparate things at the same time, almost like a kind of synesthesia, is definitely an effect poetry should strive for. . .
I guess a tension I felt as I wrote this was, as you say, between the passion of freedom and the dullness of technocracy. That is unfortunately summed up in the notion that, "Circumcision was the first transhumanism. . . "
So, maybe this "guerilla war" is on one level, a fight between the forces of Fertility and Sterility?
If so, then I would just like to stress, I stand firmly on the side of Fertility!