Monoamory is weird to me.

[alex_antonin]

How do monoamorous people even function with all that suspicion and jealousy? How can they be so deluded as to think that they - one person - could ever fulfill all the needs of their partner? And are they so insecure that they feel they have to try to be everything for the other person? It sounds so fucking exhausting, I don’t know how they do it

Comments

[bart_calendar]

I can't seem to feel jealousy so mono people really confuse me.

[alex_antonin]

Gods yes, me too! I don't even know what jealousy is supposed to feel like. Closest I've ever felt is envy, which isn't the same thing at all. Envy is when you want something someone else wants; jealousy is when you fear someone taking something that's yours. And jealousy only really applies to people, not material possessions. Pretty sure thinking someone is going to rob you isn't jealousy, it's suspicion or paranoia depending on context. And if someone DOES steal some possession of mine, I just feel anger, if it's something I value enough to be angry about. Which again, isn't jealousy.

So amen, I don't think I've ever felt this "jealousy" emotion. You have to believe you can own other people before you can be jealous, and I've never been fool enough to believe people can be owned.

[bart_calendar]

My shrink says some people are born without the ability to feel jealous. I guess we are just two of those people.

[alex_antonin]

Indeed. :-)

I mean, I've felt a little left out before, like a fifth wheel, when I was spending time with Jesse and Lilly (Lilly's my only current S.O., and Jesse is her unofficial husband), but that's because of social anxiety issues, the fact I was still getting to know Jesse, and trying to figure out the logistics of the situation. But once I sorted that out, I stopped feeling left out. Hell, I talk with Jesse more than I do with Lilly, now. He and I have a lot in common. And also, I think he's hot, and I keep wanting to ask him if I can suck him off.