Fic: Physical

[alex51324]

Another request fulfilled!  Wilson gives House a long-overdue physical exam.  Unfortunately, not very sexy.

***

“House.” Cuddy stands up behind her desk and glares down at him. “It’s been five years.”

“Really? I could’ve sworn I--”

“Look at my face. Is this the face of someone who is joking?” She points at her face, which indeed does not look very

Comments

[imfreakinorange]

"the image of House standing alone in an exam room, groping himself somberly."

ROTFL!! OMG!! that is so funny!!

[alex51324]

The word "palpate" does add something. It would still be funny if it was, "I can examine my own testicles," but not *as* funny.

[imfreakinorange]

“I know, but you still have to--what do you mean, you don’t like doctors?” Wilson pauses in putting on the blood pressure cuff to look at him. “Is it a control thing? When you’re on the other side of the stethoscope, you feel vulnerable, and--?”

I LOVE THAT PART!!! Wilson always has to figure House out!! LOL

“But you can’t check your own prostate, so--”

“Maybe I can,” House says. “I’ve never tried, but why don’t I give it a shot and get back to you?”

ROTFL!!! Poor House, he tired to hard to get out of that!! THANK YOU ALEX!! You made my day!!!

“I’ve always thought it was funny that the word embarrass has bare ass right in the middle of it.”

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! How do you think of these things!!! LOL... just sat there and said to yourself... hmmm 'you know embarrass has the words 'bare ass', need to fill that in the memory bank" LOL!!

Great story!! everything i hoped!!

[alex51324]

Thanks, those were some of my favorite lines too. I noticed the "bare ass" thing when I was about twelve or so...I think I've used it before, but it is very funny.

[julia_bohemian]

I'm thinking of Tom Green's song about testicular cancer "squeeze your balls"

[chaoskir]

House wants to ask what he needs that much blood for, but he’s not speaking to him at the moment.
*lol* Oh Alex, your are really a wonderful and great author. This story is great. I loved and enjoyed it. And I have again to explain why I´m smiling like a Honigkuchenpferd (I don´t know the translation for that word but word by word translation would be: honey-cake-horse -Honig-Kuchen-Pferd-).
It´s a word for somebody who smile once around the own face *lol*

[chaoskir]

I love that phrase. A similar one in English would be "smiled like the cat that ate the canary" or "smiled like the cat who ate the cream." Then there's the ever popular "shit eating grin" but I've never understood that one myself.

[alex51324]

I think a shit-eating grin is supposed to be a fake, sycophantic smile--I picture some kind of nodding yes-man who keeps smiling and saying, "Great idea!" no matter what kind of shit the boss dishes out.

Chaoskir, is a Honeycakehorse a horse that is eating honey-cake? Or made out of honey cake? Or something else?

[sanitylapse]

“I can palpate my own goddamn testicles!” House shouts.

I wonder how far that shout went, and how many people heard it?

That's another fic right there!

[alex51324]

I think I'll leave imagining those details as an exercise for the reader. :)