I should be King of Rohan so I'm staging a coup!

Who's with me?

...there really is very little going on here in Rohan.

Not like in my day. Back then we fought the Denlendings and shagged a lot.

*looks around*

So. Where's the so-called King of Rohan?

Ever wondered why I was King for so long?

Yeah. That's right, I'm immortal.

Hehehe. No. The real reason? My son was an incompetent dolt and there was no way he was getting Rohan.

Now I'm back. And you know? I fancy being King.