Comments | alcoholit: 26. pre-drunken monopoly, post twilight torture

alcoholit

26. pre-drunken monopoly, post twilight torture - he's pissed.

Jan 04, 2010 12:06

VAMPIRES OF THE BARGE! AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

PLEASE. TELL ME THAT YOU DO NOT SPARKLE AND ARE NOT SEXUALLY REPRESSED WEIRD SEXISTS. PLEASE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL ME YOU DO NOT SPARKLE.

That is all.

p.s. Loki, you're a pathetic little creampuff. Stay out o' my library. The library. Me and Aziraphale's joint owned venture of booky-

the books are never appropriate, i hate twilight, constantly drunk, caps lock bernard, living in fiction, declarations of intent

Comments 130

gift_enjoyed January 4 2010, 12:18:17 UTC

I am neither sexually repressed nor do I sparkle.

What prompted this announcement?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 12:25:55 UTC

GOOD! You're my new favourite vampire.

Some terrible literature. I'd tell you what, but you might get curious and you really... don't want to.

gift_enjoyed January 4 2010, 12:29:12 UTC

A lofty position I hold in highest regard. Who are you, monsieur?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 12:35:12 UTC

As you should! I have fantastic taste.

I'm Bernard Black.

Thread 29

wandthief January 4 2010, 12:23:41 UTC

Any vampires I have met do have an aura of that certain something but they certainly do not sparkle, as such. What a peculiar thought.

this is what we call 'drunk(er) bernard'. alcoholit January 4 2010, 12:31:16 UTC

Well, good for you. Don't want to meet any of these sparkly weirdoes.

You're neeeeew.

wandthief January 4 2010, 12:34:52 UTC

I am indeed. New to this place anyway.

My name is Gellert Grindelwald. And you, sir?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 12:40:13 UTC

[Pause whilst there's a massive drunken flail]

Wish I'd kept those books now

No fucking waaaaaaaaaay.

I'm Bernard Black. You ought to meet Snape. He'd... well, I don't know what he'd think, but that's half the fun.

Thread 15

fanged_aleera January 4 2010, 12:54:06 UTC

Why should I sparkle or repress that which is best liberated?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 12:58:04 UTC

You shouldn't! That's just weird.

You also get vampire points, Aleera.

fanged_aleera January 4 2010, 13:08:50 UTC

I have no desire to... Sparkle.

'Vampire points'?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 13:13:31 UTC

Collect them. You'll get a mug or something.

Thread 6

fullmetalcorset January 4 2010, 12:57:39 UTC

No.

alcoholit January 4 2010, 13:01:38 UTC

Good, good.

Don't start, okay?

fullmetalcorset January 4 2010, 13:04:50 UTC

Do you even realise what you mean by 'sexually-repressed sexism'?

alcoholit January 4 2010, 13:10:58 UTC

Sexually repressed sexists. Minor difference. They're sexually repressed. And sexists.

Thread 6

Private - he is coming to you because Snape's being a dick and not telling him anything :c takeyouapart January 4 2010, 13:20:19 UTC

Uh. Hello. Bernard, isn't it? I'm Merlin. Sorry, I was just wondering -

Could I ask you a question?

Re: Private - and bernard's drunk, so will be useful, but VAGUE. alcoholit January 4 2010, 13:21:30 UTC

That's the one, and what's up? Found a sparkly vampire?

Private takeyouapart January 4 2010, 13:26:35 UTC

Um. No. Sorry?

...

Why am I being told not to talk to Gellert? Because you seem to know who he is, and...I don't.

Re: Private alcoholit January 4 2010, 13:33:01 UTC

He's... from Snape's world and is a massively powerful wizard who, basically, has a reputation as the Darkest. Wizard. Ever! There was a whole war waged against him in the 1940s, and Dumbledore (Snape's boss and a lot of other complicated shit that I'm not going to explain, because that's... a mess) defeated him.

He's a pretty dangerous bloke, I'd say. And now he's back and Snape's probably got a point about not talking to him.

Thread 6