Pretentious Meta Post of the Day

[alchemi]

To me, it looks like livejournal is going the way of the personal home page. Two years ago, during a day my friends list would have 80 or 100 new posts, many of them interesting. Yesterday I think it was five. This is not an isolated incident - it is a year long trend. On top of that, I get the impression it's true of a lot of other people too

Comments

[soshesays]

Yeah, but what if you really are boring?

When I'm not actively posting about something worldly, or at least confessing scandalous goings-on (which honestly rarely ever happen), I get dropped like a hot plate. And when I ask people why they dropped me, which I usually do, they inevitably respond, "I'm sorry, I just haven't been reading your posts lately." And why? Because they are boring.

On the other hand, I'm guessing that you're going to respond with something along the lines of, "Fuck them, who cares about them, what about the rest of us who don't care whether you're in the UAE or the USA," and you're probably right.

[alchemi]

I think there is a natural balance to people adding and dropping. It's not a bad thing if the people who are uninterested start defriending, unless you also aren't getting any new blood. Which is why it's important to avoid slipping into being friends only.

p.s. my ideal friends list goes like this -
a) a group of people with whom I feel I have a genuine bond/friendship.
b) a group of people I have who I particularly want to read.
c) a group of people I have because I particularly enjoy their comments.
d) a group of new people.

People in d) would ideally move into a) - c) when the others drop out and new people would fill up d).

[soshesays]

I don't feel like I have the luxury of going public right now, because everything I have to say is so mundane. Nobody's going to be drawn in by that blather; I'm not going to get any new blood that way. Once something exciting happens (one of these eons), I'll post public and we'll see where things go from there -- in the meantime, I'm just embarrassed to be posting at all.

[aparecida]

I think part of it is an evolution in the way that I read my FL, which I think is different from your tactic. I find that the friends whose posts I enjoy most are the ones who don't post every day, but rather post something well thought out every few days. Realistically, there are probably 5 people on my FL whose opinions on eggplant I might care about; the other 200, whenever they make such a post, I find myself going, "OMG I SO DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING OPINIONS ABOUT FUCKING EGGPLANT WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME

[alchemi]

Yeah. I've been there too. When posts were fast and furious, having a 100 person friends list was almost overwelming. I did some massive spur of the moment cuts because I just couldn't keep up in any meaningful way.

Not to be offensive or anything, but I'm curious why it passes from momentarily frusterating to pissing you off? I assume that you identify the entries that would bore you quickly and have a high speed connection. Is scrolling a pain in the ass? (Part of why I don't mind it may come from the 49ers board I go to regularly which shows all posts and so you have no choice but to skip the dull ones, so it has become something of a habit).

(p.s. You should so reply with the five people and then delete the comment).

[aliki]

Great post.

[alchemi]

Thank you!

[lenny_wick]

Here's me commenting.

[alchemi]

And a damn fine job you did!

[lenny_wick]

For the record, #1 definitely is my problem, which you nailed. Also problems lurking/non-commenting.

[alchemi]

I admit, I struggle with all of them.

With commenting I find I comment to the same people most often. Usually it's not because I find their stuff particularly more interesting, but because I feel a good, mellow vibe with them.

[dj_jonny_flash]

Hey, I saw this on readers_list and I wanted to say that you're making some good points. The ship may have already passed its center of gravity and will inevitably capsize, but these are good ways to try and either hold it off or reverse it. Myspace is bigger but I don't know anyone who has "made friends" on Myspace. Every friend on my own Myspace is either a "real-life" friend, or a band/fictional character. Almost all my LJ friends are people I met through LJ, with a couple of "real-life" crossovers.

I think that number 4 is the most important point you make, and I wish people would take it to heart. I hate people who friend's lock their journals. I have only one friend left who still has a locked journal, and that is out of loyality since she is one of my first LJ friends. I've deleted all my other friends who locked their journals. Friends lock is good for the occasional post that is too sensitive, but if you find yourself doing it on a constant basis, then what is the point of having an internet journal? Write it down and lock it

[alchemi]

It was originally a friends only post. I included an example that I felt needed to be kept from my employer and was convinced to replace the example (the bar exam statement is a stand in ... it is not precisely true).

I definitely don't claim to do all these things well - they are more aspirational for me.

And I agree with you on how frienships are more possible in an environment like livejournal. You are sharing something about yourself and learning something about them. It is possible to do that on myspace, but I think the problem there is that they are more likely to have a bunch of real life friends and family able to see that stuff. It inhibits one of the prime benefits of having an online journal - the ability to be honest.