The Wanking Comment Fest

[alby_mangroves]

So earlier, I took the Arthur Wank Pledge, which I'm very excited about. However, I figured there was no harm in being an equal opportunity voyeur, right?

Also, Twitter encouraged me, and we all know how THAT ends, so.

Let The Wanking Comment Fest begin!Any fandom, any rating, any character or pairing as long as there's masturbation

Comments

Merlin/Cock, or you know, whatever

[alby_mangroves]

Merlin injures his right hand. Left-handed shenanigans ensue.

Re: Merlin/Cock, or you know, whatever

[ureshiiichigo]

OH MY GOD. I COULD NOT GET THIS PROMPT OUT OF MY HEAD. So I wrote crack. Arthur's POV. :D Will format and post hence-with.

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (1/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

Ever since the hunting trip accident, Merlin had been in a particularly foul mood. Arthur didn't like it. Not one bit.

Merlin was normally rubbish at his duties, but with two broken fingers, he was even less competent than usual. The floors were unwashed ("I need two hands to scrub properly, Arthur!"), his breakfasts were meagre ("Look, if you don't want half your breakfast dropped on the floor, you can carry it your own damn self!"), his armour was dirty ("Can't polish with only one hand!"), and most worryingly, Merlin was infernally grouchy

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (2/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

By the time Merlin returned, Arthur's bathwater was lukewarm, and from Merlin's positively thunderous expression, he was in an even worse mood than before

Arthur/himself, optional Arthur/Merlin

[sorrylatenew]

Arthur doesn't know Merlin is gay/bi until he accidentally stumbles upon his porn. Didn't know he himself had such proclivities either, but. Well.

Re: Arthur/himself, optional Arthur/Merlin

[alby_mangroves]

OOOOOOH YEAH BABY, THAT'S THE STUFF \o/

[teprometo]

So. I am bad at commentfic, seeing as I wrote nearly 5k. BUT I WROTE A FILL!

Fuckweasel

Because I couldn't resist that hideous title. Idk, man. I have no excuse.

[alby_mangroves]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NO EXCUSE NECESSARY FOR WRITING FUCKAWESOME PORN JESUS CHRIST *_____________________*

Re: Arthur/Merlin

[alby_mangroves]

ACCIDENTAL PHONE SEX!! \o/\o/\o/

Re: Arthur/Merlin

[katie_andrew]

GENIUS

Fill: Tell Me Your Dreams (Am I In Them?) (1/3)

[nu_breed]

Most parents give their child a used, beaten-up car for their 21st birthday. But Uther Pendragon is not most parents, and when Arthur announces to Merlin that he's been given an all-expenses paid trip to New York complete with business class tickets and a huge room at the Waldorf Astoria, Merlin hardly blinks - he's used to rolling his eyes at the excesses of Arthur's family

[nu_breed]

Merlin, possible Merlin/Arthur
Merlin has to run off and wank in the tent when Arthur is doing tourneys. Arthur may notice or he may not - writer's choice!

[alby_mangroves]

x___@

!!! I wonder if sweaty!Arthur notices... *ded*

[nu_breed]

I hope so :D

Fill: Tourney Wanking 1/2

[oflittleuse]

Merlin still doesn’t know the names of the moves as Arthur ducks under the wide swing of his opponent and spins on his heel to bring his sword upwards. After all this time at court, Merlin has never been able to catch onto the terms and strategy the knights would discuss in great detail over their ale. All Merlin was aware of was the rippling muscles that gleaned with a slight layer of sweat where Arthur’s armour slid up his forearm

[nu_breed]

Bradley/Colin

While searching for porn one night, Bradley discovers the porno Colin did back when he was in Drama School to pay the bills. He can't stop thinking about it and jerkng off to it and has to see if there are any others. There are.

[alby_mangroves]

WHAT!!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD.

pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease

[nu_breed]

Tempted to fill it myself if nobody else does :)

[alby_mangroves]

Do it anyway, everyone knows two wanks are better than one!