The Wanking Comment Fest

[alby_mangroves]

So earlier, I took the Arthur Wank Pledge, which I'm very excited about. However, I figured there was no harm in being an equal opportunity voyeur, right?

Also, Twitter encouraged me, and we all know how THAT ends, so.

Let The Wanking Comment Fest begin!Any fandom, any rating, any character or pairing as long as there's masturbation

Comments

Merlin/Cock, or you know, whatever

[alby_mangroves]

Merlin injures his right hand. Left-handed shenanigans ensue.

Re: Merlin/Cock, or you know, whatever

[ureshiiichigo]

OH MY GOD. I COULD NOT GET THIS PROMPT OUT OF MY HEAD. So I wrote crack. Arthur's POV. :D Will format and post hence-with.

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (1/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

Ever since the hunting trip accident, Merlin had been in a particularly foul mood. Arthur didn't like it. Not one bit.

Merlin was normally rubbish at his duties, but with two broken fingers, he was even less competent than usual. The floors were unwashed ("I need two hands to scrub properly, Arthur!"), his breakfasts were meagre ("Look, if you don't want half your breakfast dropped on the floor, you can carry it your own damn self!"), his armour was dirty ("Can't polish with only one hand!"), and most worryingly, Merlin was infernally grouchy

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (2/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

By the time Merlin returned, Arthur's bathwater was lukewarm, and from Merlin's positively thunderous expression, he was in an even worse mood than before

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (3/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

Once Arthur was finally presentable, dressed in a soft red tunic and brown trousers, he marched down to Gaius' lab and burst in the door. "Where is Merlin?" Arthur asked. He was a man who believed in getting to the point.

Gaius hoisted a thick eyebrow, and Arthur repressed a shudder. "He is in his quarters, but I believe he does not wish to be disturbed."

"Go away!" Merlin's voice echoed, muffled by the door.

"No!" Arthur said, and strolled over to Merlin's chambers. His first attempt to open the door was met with resistance. Apparently, Merlin did know there was such a thing as privacy, since he locked the door of his own chambers. "Let me in, Merlin," Arthur said.

He tried to keep the irritation from his voice, but presumably failed, since Merlin's immediate response was, "Fuck off!"

"Merlin," Arthur warned, "let me in or I will break down the door

Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

The following day, Merlin's hand was still bandaged, but he was in a much better mood. The first sign of this was when he strolled into Arthur's chambers, shortly after dawn, whistling.

"What is that infernal racket?" Arthur moaned, clutching the duvet and pulling it over his head.

"Good morning!"

Arthur simply growled and tried to ignore the various clatters and thumps emanating from Merlin. This was made more difficult when the man started blathering. "I brought you breakfast, sire. Eggs this morning, freshly laid! Cook was quite pleased, himself."

"Merlin."

"Oh! And I was speaking with Sir Leon, and he was saying that there are several new recruits he has an eye on. He invited them to join today's training, so you can see if they're up to snuff."

"Merlin."

"I think you should give them a chance, sire. After all, you can always use more knights. Considering the death rate around here."

"Merlin"Yes?" Arthur could picture Merlin's face, pasted with a sunny smile. He didn't bother removing the blankets to actually observe this

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[xfortytwo]

LOOOL I love this. Arthur is so precious I love him XD And grumpy!Merlin is the best!

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

Awwww, thanks so much! :D I really enjoy the contrast between grouchy Merlin and deliberately irritating cheerful Merlin. Thanks for commenting!

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[magnolia822]

Ahah, I love this. Really good banter and awesome job with the premise :)

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

Thank you! I love writing their banter. :D Glad I was able to fulfill the premise! (even though I managed to not include any actual porn, lol)

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

And we all know why Merlin is suddenly chipper at the end!

(Gaius brought him ice cream. Obviously.)

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[alby_mangroves]

Oh my God, that's HILARIOUS!! I love them so much in this, pissed-off Merlin is the best and I believe that thinking of Arthur's helping hand was all the inspiration he needed to get the job done in the end. Thanks so much for filling my prompt! <333

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[ureshiiichigo]

I'm so glad you liked!! :D The prompt was awesome, and once I thought of doing it from Arthur's POV the plot bunny would not stop nibbling at my brain.

And yes, perhaps Merlin just needed a bit of inspiration. :D

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[alby_mangroves]

It was fantastic, thank you so much for participating in my "fest"!! lol <3

Re: Fill: On Broken Bones and Grouchy Manservants (4/4)

[dante_s_hell]

We totally need more grumpy Merlin! Great job!