Aquarius | 1/1 | AoixRuki
Title: Aquarius
Chapter: 1/1 (oneshot)
Author: akichuu
Fandom: the GazettE
Pairing: AoixRuki (YuuxTakanori)
Theme: 005: Blue Planet (Alice Nine)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Yaoi, unbetaed mistakes.
Disclaimer: the GazettE belongs to themselves and, yes, the Almighty PSC. I, well I own this story. It's fiction, meaning IT'S NOT REAL and I'm making no profit from it (except my 15 minutes of fame). Yes, mind that.
Beta: None this time.
Summary: Of when you spoke of constellations and myths; while I struggled as hard as I could to cling to your gravity, like Aquila did to Aquarius.
Comment: Inspired by a Greek myth that I discovered by accident, which I will explain in the author’s notes below. I hope you enjoy! ^^
Theme songs: (Recommended to listen while reading) the GazettE - UNTITLED, Des’ree - Kissing You, Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There, Dishwalla - It’s Over Now.
Aquarius
I remember.
I remember that night, the two of us sharing our most special moment, secluded in our serene little world. I remember how relieved we were; we could finally find some peace after a really rough day. I had almost lost my part time job at the convenience store thanks to some snobby kid who had kicked down a stack of cereal boxes. You had gone through probably the sixteenth argument in the last three days with your father about your future-and just like the previous ones this one hadn’t ended very pleasantly either. I could see that faint reddish mark still visible on your cheek, left as a trace of your father’s obstinacy. I said nothing, knowing you would only be upset if I reminded you about what your father had told you. I did the only thing I could do to try to take your mind off of your problems; I kissed your marred cheek softly and hugged you tight.
And then we spread a plastic mat over the grasses on our secret spot. You had brought a chocolate bar-your favorite kind that had almond chunks in it. I had brought a box of bento, a leftover from today’s shift. My boss didn’t know I took it; if he found out I might get into trouble again. We ate the chocolate and the contents of the bento, amused at how awful soy sauce tasted when eaten with a chunk of chocolate. We talked about the movie we had just seen last weekend, and by laughing over the stupid plot, we began to forget bit by bit all the ugly experiences we had had today.
After our simple dinner, we lay down on the mat, side by side. You put your head on my shoulder, and I could smell the sweet and minty fragrance of your shampoo. I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss your hair, and so I did. Your soft laughter rumbled against my chest in response.
“Don’t get any chocolate on my hair, Yuu-chan,” you said, but I figured it was just a joke because you didn’t protest when I kissed you again. Instead, you snuggled closer, tighter; our bodies sharing warmth.
I dimmed the emergency lamp I had brought so that it glowed with a gentle, white light. Luckily the night wasn’t cold because I had forgotten to bring any blanket. The breeze was gentle, blowing once in a while carrying the scent of damp earth. Everywhere around us was quiet, save for the sounds of crickets and our breathings. It was so peaceful here. It felt like we were all alone, a million miles away from the world we knew and from all the problems we had encountered.
It was only there at our secret place that I could forget about everything else, except you of course. I often wished the night would never end so that I could stay there for all time, safe with you. That night in particular, I prayed harder than ever that we were allowed this luxury for a little while longer. I was so tired of my daily struggle, and I knew you were tired of yours as well. I just thought it was cruel if we had to get up and leave this place, and return to the troublesome lives we led every day.
It’s sad to think that, as I gazed up at the sky above, all those beautiful stars would eventually be replaced by daylight.
“Those stars, they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” your voice drew me away from my thoughts.
I looked at you to find your eyes were focused toward the sky. I remembered about your fascination for sky, stars and all other objects up there, and I smiled. This might be one of the reasons why you, just like me, loved this place so much. There weren’t any buildings nearby, no other source of light except my small emergency lamp, allowing us to see the stars above our heads as they were shining freely. Plus it was new moon, so the sky looked a lot like an endless stretch of black canopy strewn with small, bright diamonds; truly a wondrous sight, a sight that we couldn’t possibly see in the city.
I took a brief glance at the sky before I turned my sight back to you. In my opinion, you were the most beautiful thing of all, so beautiful that not even the magnificent scenery above could compete. But I told you, “Yes, they’re really beautiful.”
“We’re lucky it’s not cloudy tonight,” you said, still mesmerized by the stars. “I can recognize some constellations even without a telescope.”
“Can you? Name me some,” I requested. I knew you loved the topic-you, my little astronomer; you could talk about constellations and comets and planets endlessly if no one stopped you.
You giggled for a moment before you raised your right hand and began pointing your finger at the sky. I imagined you were trying to touch each and every bead of light with your forefinger. I believed that if you could, you would have collected your favorite stars, or constellations, or even galaxies and put them in clear jars so you could marvel them anytime you wanted.
“That’s Pisces over there,” you said.
“The fish?” I tried to follow where you were pointing at but all I could see were random clusters of white dots. I couldn’t see anything that resembled a fish.
“Yeah,” I felt your head move as you nodded. “It’s not so clear at this time of the year. And then there’s Pegasus right above the fish-I mean Pisces. That’s Delphinus right there. And then, a little to the south, that large almost elliptical crowd of stars, that’s Aquarius-the Water-Bearer… Here let me show you. Give me your hand.”
I did what he asked me to do and gave him my right hand. He guided me to point at the stars that he was talking about. It wasn’t clear, but I thought I knew which ones he meant.
“There, see?”
I hummed in response, but I wasn’t exactly focusing on the sight. The feeling of you holding my hand was too much of a distraction. Your warmth, your scent… how could you expect me to pay attention to the stars far above us when you were so close to me?
“And right next to it, a bit on top of it actually,” you continued, guiding both our hands on a journey between the stars. “That is Aquila, the Eagle.”
I thought I saw a bunch of stars in the form of a triangle with a tail, but I wasn’t sure if that’s the one you meant. All of a sudden you let go of my hand, but before I missed the loss, you snuggled closer against me. I held you gently, loving the feeling of your hand on my chest.
“There’s a myth behind the name Aquarius,” you spoke softly while I ran my hand through your hair. “It’s my favorite, so far.”
“Tell me about it,” I asked.
You took a deep breath, and began. “A long, long time ago, in the times of the Greek Gods, lived a prince named Ganymede. He was the youngest son and favorite of Tros, ruler of Troy. He was such a beautiful young man, so beautiful that everyone in the kingdom, woman or man, admired him. They would stop whatever they were doing and stare at him as he walked by, awed by his beauty.
“There came a time when Ganymede was out playing with his friends. They were having so much fun that they failed to notice a gigantic eagle approaching them. Without a warning, the eagle swooped down on Ganymede and clutched him in his large talons. His friends could only scream out calling for him while the eagle flew high and even higher until they could no longer see him.
“Now, where did this eagle take Ganymede, and what did it want with him?
“The eagle flew all the way to Mount Olympus-yes, the residence of the Gods-and there, it finally dropped Ganymede on the ground. The young prince was half-frightened, half-fascinated, but before he could ask any question, the eagle transformed into a human form. All of a sudden, he saw a God before him. And not just any God; it was Zeus himself.
“Ganymede bowed to give his respect, but Zeus held him, and told him why he had brought Ganymede there to Mount Olympus. ‘Forgive me for taking you away from your home, but you are in fact the most beautiful human child I’ve ever seen,’ so said the King of the Gods to Ganymede. ‘I have been watching you for a while, and now I must confess. You have captured my heart, dear Ganymede. Now I am begging you, will you please stay here and be my lover?’
“Ganymede was, of course, shocked. A God-Zeus himself asked him to be his lover? His fear now turned to awe, and from awe grew affection. So finally, Ganymede approved the God’s request.
“Rejoicing in happiness, they made love afterwards, the God and the young prince,” you said dreamily. “And since then the young prince lived in Mount Olympus, appointed by Zeus as the cup bearer for the Gods. Ganymede’s presence brought joy to the Gods, all except one: Hera, Zeus’ wife. Jealousy burned her, and driven by it she destroyed Troy, Ganymede’s homeland.
“In order to save Ganymede from the despair, Zeus shrouded his sight so that he couldn’t see the destruction of Troy. He brought the young prince up to the vast, great sky and made a place for him among the stars. There…” You pointed again at the constellation you had just shown me earlier. “As the Water-Bearer, Aquarius. And in the sky that was his domain, Zeus would protect Ganymede forever, right there…” You shifted your hand to the side, to the strange triangular constellation. “... As Aquila, the Eagle. You see his wing is shielding Aquarius, guarding him from any harm. And so they are forever side by side, the God and his Water-Bearer.”
You sighed, but just as I thought you had finished your story, you spoke up again. “Do you remember the names of the four largest moons of planet Jupiter?”
“I think one of them is Ganymede…?” I answered unsurely. I had never really paid attention during science in class, but the name did ring a bell.
“You’re right,” you replied. “Ganymede, Io, Europa, and Callisto-the Galilean moons of Jupiter; and Ganymede is the greatest of them all. And before you ask me what the connection is between this fact and the myth I just told you; do you know who Jupiter is?” You added a short pause here, I believe for a dramatic effect. “You see, Jupiter is Zeus’ Roman form. Roman people adopted Greek’s Gods and gave them new names. I don’t know what the scientists were thinking when they named Jupiter’s moons, but there it is: Jupiter, or Zeus, forever inseparable with his beloved Ganymede in our very own solar system.”
I looked at the constellations above, the Water-Bearer and the Eagle. I didn’t know whether or not it was just my imagination, but I thought I saw them glowing a little brighter, showing me the outline of an eagle spreading his wings over a young man carrying a water jug.
Your story was truly wonderful, I admit. I hadn’t known before that there was such a myth about Aquarius; and moreover, what’s amazing about it was that it had a happy ending. Most of the mythological love stories I had heard so far had tragic endings, where one of the lovers either had their limbs torn apart or got munched by a bunch of crazy godly horses. It’s a nice variation to actually listen to one where both sides of the lovers, despite it being a forbidden love affair, ended up being together, living happily ever after.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could fly all the way to where the stars were shining so brightly, and become one of them? Nothing could bother us up there, not your parents, not my boss; nothing. We could be together, forever.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had been living in a myth instead of reality?
I asked myself, if the chance ever came, would you willingly leave this place and come with me? Would you take my hand and abandon all else that you had ever known in this life? Would you risk everything just to be with me? I couldn’t promise you that I would be able to protect you like Zeus protected Ganymede-I’m not God, not even close-but I knew I would love you to the very last drop of blood I had in me.
I was too afraid to ask. I had no courage to find out your answer.
And I instantly forgot ever wanting to ask you anything the moment you kissed me. Mercilessly you reached deep into my soul, and then grabbed my throbbing heart inside your hand. I took you into my hold, desperate to claim you as mine. We spent the night making love under the glittering constellations in the sky, adding noises to the otherwise peaceful night-your moaning, my chanting your name, and the sounds of our skins rubbing against each other.
I easily believed that it would always be like this, the two of us floating high in our private little heaven. You loved me just as much as I loved you; we were both as happy as we could be. I was your Zeus, and you were my beautiful Ganymede. We were stranded together in space and time, where the future held no meaning for us.
But then a myth was a myth. I was an idiot to believe that a ‘happy ever after’ kind of ending would happen to us too.
It’s been four years now since that night; it seemed like a long time, but I still remember everything. I even remember how the touch of your lips felt like on mine when you whispered “I love you” at the end of the night.
But you… do you remember? Do you remember anything at all?
I haven’t heard from you since the day you went away. I don’t know how you’ve been, if you are okay, or if you feel as miserable as I do now. You’ve never called me. You’ve never written me a letter or anything. Didn’t you know my phone number and address? I can’t stop wondering why you’ve never tried to contact me, not even once.
Do you know how broken I was the day I found out your father had sent you away abroad to some foreign country over the sea? You did tell me once that he had always wanted you to study hard, go to some fancy high-standard school, and become what he wanted you to become-a proper businessman or some sort. But I hadn’t expected it to happen so suddenly; you didn’t even give me a notice. At first I thought you must have been forced to leave in a rush-your father could be such a repressive man, like you said yourself. And then I suspected your father had confiscated your phone, which might have explained why you never called me.
But then days became months, months became years, and still there’s no sign of you. The question “Where are you?” has become “Will you ever come back?” and neither of which has ever met an answer.
Tonight I find myself standing all alone in the middle of our deserted heaven, the grassy field that used to be our secret spot. I bring my old emergency lamp with me-this ancient thing is still working perfectly even after all these years. But of course there’s nothing here, as expected. I don’t even know why I bother coming all the way here when I know I won’t find you. You’re definitely not here; in fact, not even a single trace of you is here.
I sit on the ground, reveling at how loud the crickets are screaming in the silence. The scent of the earth brings back memories, memories of what I once had but now lost. It hurts, inevitably. It hurts to think that I used to be so happy, so fulfilled, but now I don’t suppose a man can feel complete when his heart is missing. That’s how it feels. You went away without ever giving me my heart back, now I’m left with this gaping hole in my chest and a hollow space inside.
How could you? There hasn’t been a day I passed without asking why, wondering where you were and what you were doing. Just tell me why, explain to me once so that I can understand.
Tonight, are you staring at the sky too, love? I wonder if it looks the same, wherever you are. Here, above our secret spot, the sky is clear. It’s our endless stretch of black canopy with diamonds that we marveled back then. I can see the stars up there, glimmering just as brightly as they did years ago. I can see the constellations you’ve shown me that night: Pisces, Pegasus, Delphinus, and of course, a couple of my favorite constellations, Aquarius and Aquila. They’re still there, side by side, the Water-Bearer and the Eagle; Zeus and Ganymede.
Oh how I envy them.
But then I should have known; myth is no more than a myth, right? While real life will remain like it is: cruel and merciless.
I miss you, my love. I miss you so much. Why can’t the years take away the pain? Why can’t I stop feeling so lonely, so incomplete? Why won’t you come back? Come back, and I will forget the fact that you’ve left me without a word. I will love you like I used to, like I always do. I will promise you whatever you want-an escape to another life, if you wish. I will protect you from anything that threatens to harm you. I will be your Zeus if you will be my Ganymede.
Just… come back, please. Come back and hold me once again, tell me you love me. We can make love under the stars again, we can be happy like we want to.
I know I’m repeating myself again but please, come back, and we’ll become a couple of constellations in the vast sky, somewhere alongside Aquarius and Aquila, hovering side by side for all eternity.
Come back, Takanori. Come back to me.
~ THE END ~
A/N:
The myth that inspired me to write this was of Zeus and Ganymede; yes that’s right, incase you haven’t heard of it, Zeus did have a male lover (I myself was a little too late discovering about it). I found it to be such a romantic story. I mean, all the other male-male love stories in Greek mythology usually ended up tragically (let’s not start talking about Apollo and Hyacinth, shall we?). But not Zeus and Ganymede, despite Hera’s jealousy getting in the way. They lived happily ever after, as constellations at least.
And then there’s the GazettE’s UNTITLED… Oh that song is just so beautiful. Ruki said that the song had a ‘night sky’ sort of theme; so as I listened to it over and over (and over and over) again, this story came to exist. I can’t ever stop admiring the guy for creating such a wonderful song. And the sentence “I know I’m repeating myself again but please…” was, of course, taken from UNTITLED’s lyric, “Why do I repeat myself again?”. I don’t know why but the words are forever stuck in my head.
And one more thing, Ruki is Aquarius (February 1st). What a coincidence. *giggles*
Okay. Here are some resources incase you’re interested to find out more about Zeus and Ganymede:
one; two; three
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Chapter: 1/1 (oneshot)
Author: akichuu
Fandom: the GazettE
Pairing: AoixRuki (YuuxTakanori)
Theme: 005: Blue Planet (Alice Nine)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Yaoi, unbetaed mistakes.
Disclaimer: the GazettE belongs to themselves and, yes, the Almighty PSC. I, well I own this story. It's fiction, meaning IT'S NOT REAL and I'm making no profit from it (except my 15 minutes of fame). Yes, mind that.
Beta: None this time.
Summary: Of when you spoke of constellations and myths; while I struggled as hard as I could to cling to your gravity, like Aquila did to Aquarius.
Comment: Inspired by a Greek myth that I discovered by accident, which I will explain in the author’s notes below. I hope you enjoy! ^^
Theme songs: (Recommended to listen while reading) the GazettE - UNTITLED, Des’ree - Kissing You, Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There, Dishwalla - It’s Over Now.
Aquarius
I remember.
I remember that night, the two of us sharing our most special moment, secluded in our serene little world. I remember how relieved we were; we could finally find some peace after a really rough day. I had almost lost my part time job at the convenience store thanks to some snobby kid who had kicked down a stack of cereal boxes. You had gone through probably the sixteenth argument in the last three days with your father about your future-and just like the previous ones this one hadn’t ended very pleasantly either. I could see that faint reddish mark still visible on your cheek, left as a trace of your father’s obstinacy. I said nothing, knowing you would only be upset if I reminded you about what your father had told you. I did the only thing I could do to try to take your mind off of your problems; I kissed your marred cheek softly and hugged you tight.
And then we spread a plastic mat over the grasses on our secret spot. You had brought a chocolate bar-your favorite kind that had almond chunks in it. I had brought a box of bento, a leftover from today’s shift. My boss didn’t know I took it; if he found out I might get into trouble again. We ate the chocolate and the contents of the bento, amused at how awful soy sauce tasted when eaten with a chunk of chocolate. We talked about the movie we had just seen last weekend, and by laughing over the stupid plot, we began to forget bit by bit all the ugly experiences we had had today.
After our simple dinner, we lay down on the mat, side by side. You put your head on my shoulder, and I could smell the sweet and minty fragrance of your shampoo. I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss your hair, and so I did. Your soft laughter rumbled against my chest in response.
“Don’t get any chocolate on my hair, Yuu-chan,” you said, but I figured it was just a joke because you didn’t protest when I kissed you again. Instead, you snuggled closer, tighter; our bodies sharing warmth.
I dimmed the emergency lamp I had brought so that it glowed with a gentle, white light. Luckily the night wasn’t cold because I had forgotten to bring any blanket. The breeze was gentle, blowing once in a while carrying the scent of damp earth. Everywhere around us was quiet, save for the sounds of crickets and our breathings. It was so peaceful here. It felt like we were all alone, a million miles away from the world we knew and from all the problems we had encountered.
It was only there at our secret place that I could forget about everything else, except you of course. I often wished the night would never end so that I could stay there for all time, safe with you. That night in particular, I prayed harder than ever that we were allowed this luxury for a little while longer. I was so tired of my daily struggle, and I knew you were tired of yours as well. I just thought it was cruel if we had to get up and leave this place, and return to the troublesome lives we led every day.
It’s sad to think that, as I gazed up at the sky above, all those beautiful stars would eventually be replaced by daylight.
“Those stars, they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” your voice drew me away from my thoughts.
I looked at you to find your eyes were focused toward the sky. I remembered about your fascination for sky, stars and all other objects up there, and I smiled. This might be one of the reasons why you, just like me, loved this place so much. There weren’t any buildings nearby, no other source of light except my small emergency lamp, allowing us to see the stars above our heads as they were shining freely. Plus it was new moon, so the sky looked a lot like an endless stretch of black canopy strewn with small, bright diamonds; truly a wondrous sight, a sight that we couldn’t possibly see in the city.
I took a brief glance at the sky before I turned my sight back to you. In my opinion, you were the most beautiful thing of all, so beautiful that not even the magnificent scenery above could compete. But I told you, “Yes, they’re really beautiful.”
“We’re lucky it’s not cloudy tonight,” you said, still mesmerized by the stars. “I can recognize some constellations even without a telescope.”
“Can you? Name me some,” I requested. I knew you loved the topic-you, my little astronomer; you could talk about constellations and comets and planets endlessly if no one stopped you.
You giggled for a moment before you raised your right hand and began pointing your finger at the sky. I imagined you were trying to touch each and every bead of light with your forefinger. I believed that if you could, you would have collected your favorite stars, or constellations, or even galaxies and put them in clear jars so you could marvel them anytime you wanted.
“That’s Pisces over there,” you said.
“The fish?” I tried to follow where you were pointing at but all I could see were random clusters of white dots. I couldn’t see anything that resembled a fish.
“Yeah,” I felt your head move as you nodded. “It’s not so clear at this time of the year. And then there’s Pegasus right above the fish-I mean Pisces. That’s Delphinus right there. And then, a little to the south, that large almost elliptical crowd of stars, that’s Aquarius-the Water-Bearer… Here let me show you. Give me your hand.”
I did what he asked me to do and gave him my right hand. He guided me to point at the stars that he was talking about. It wasn’t clear, but I thought I knew which ones he meant.
“There, see?”
I hummed in response, but I wasn’t exactly focusing on the sight. The feeling of you holding my hand was too much of a distraction. Your warmth, your scent… how could you expect me to pay attention to the stars far above us when you were so close to me?
“And right next to it, a bit on top of it actually,” you continued, guiding both our hands on a journey between the stars. “That is Aquila, the Eagle.”
I thought I saw a bunch of stars in the form of a triangle with a tail, but I wasn’t sure if that’s the one you meant. All of a sudden you let go of my hand, but before I missed the loss, you snuggled closer against me. I held you gently, loving the feeling of your hand on my chest.
“There’s a myth behind the name Aquarius,” you spoke softly while I ran my hand through your hair. “It’s my favorite, so far.”
“Tell me about it,” I asked.
You took a deep breath, and began. “A long, long time ago, in the times of the Greek Gods, lived a prince named Ganymede. He was the youngest son and favorite of Tros, ruler of Troy. He was such a beautiful young man, so beautiful that everyone in the kingdom, woman or man, admired him. They would stop whatever they were doing and stare at him as he walked by, awed by his beauty.
“There came a time when Ganymede was out playing with his friends. They were having so much fun that they failed to notice a gigantic eagle approaching them. Without a warning, the eagle swooped down on Ganymede and clutched him in his large talons. His friends could only scream out calling for him while the eagle flew high and even higher until they could no longer see him.
“Now, where did this eagle take Ganymede, and what did it want with him?
“The eagle flew all the way to Mount Olympus-yes, the residence of the Gods-and there, it finally dropped Ganymede on the ground. The young prince was half-frightened, half-fascinated, but before he could ask any question, the eagle transformed into a human form. All of a sudden, he saw a God before him. And not just any God; it was Zeus himself.
“Ganymede bowed to give his respect, but Zeus held him, and told him why he had brought Ganymede there to Mount Olympus. ‘Forgive me for taking you away from your home, but you are in fact the most beautiful human child I’ve ever seen,’ so said the King of the Gods to Ganymede. ‘I have been watching you for a while, and now I must confess. You have captured my heart, dear Ganymede. Now I am begging you, will you please stay here and be my lover?’
“Ganymede was, of course, shocked. A God-Zeus himself asked him to be his lover? His fear now turned to awe, and from awe grew affection. So finally, Ganymede approved the God’s request.
“Rejoicing in happiness, they made love afterwards, the God and the young prince,” you said dreamily. “And since then the young prince lived in Mount Olympus, appointed by Zeus as the cup bearer for the Gods. Ganymede’s presence brought joy to the Gods, all except one: Hera, Zeus’ wife. Jealousy burned her, and driven by it she destroyed Troy, Ganymede’s homeland.
“In order to save Ganymede from the despair, Zeus shrouded his sight so that he couldn’t see the destruction of Troy. He brought the young prince up to the vast, great sky and made a place for him among the stars. There…” You pointed again at the constellation you had just shown me earlier. “As the Water-Bearer, Aquarius. And in the sky that was his domain, Zeus would protect Ganymede forever, right there…” You shifted your hand to the side, to the strange triangular constellation. “... As Aquila, the Eagle. You see his wing is shielding Aquarius, guarding him from any harm. And so they are forever side by side, the God and his Water-Bearer.”
You sighed, but just as I thought you had finished your story, you spoke up again. “Do you remember the names of the four largest moons of planet Jupiter?”
“I think one of them is Ganymede…?” I answered unsurely. I had never really paid attention during science in class, but the name did ring a bell.
“You’re right,” you replied. “Ganymede, Io, Europa, and Callisto-the Galilean moons of Jupiter; and Ganymede is the greatest of them all. And before you ask me what the connection is between this fact and the myth I just told you; do you know who Jupiter is?” You added a short pause here, I believe for a dramatic effect. “You see, Jupiter is Zeus’ Roman form. Roman people adopted Greek’s Gods and gave them new names. I don’t know what the scientists were thinking when they named Jupiter’s moons, but there it is: Jupiter, or Zeus, forever inseparable with his beloved Ganymede in our very own solar system.”
I looked at the constellations above, the Water-Bearer and the Eagle. I didn’t know whether or not it was just my imagination, but I thought I saw them glowing a little brighter, showing me the outline of an eagle spreading his wings over a young man carrying a water jug.
Your story was truly wonderful, I admit. I hadn’t known before that there was such a myth about Aquarius; and moreover, what’s amazing about it was that it had a happy ending. Most of the mythological love stories I had heard so far had tragic endings, where one of the lovers either had their limbs torn apart or got munched by a bunch of crazy godly horses. It’s a nice variation to actually listen to one where both sides of the lovers, despite it being a forbidden love affair, ended up being together, living happily ever after.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could fly all the way to where the stars were shining so brightly, and become one of them? Nothing could bother us up there, not your parents, not my boss; nothing. We could be together, forever.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had been living in a myth instead of reality?
I asked myself, if the chance ever came, would you willingly leave this place and come with me? Would you take my hand and abandon all else that you had ever known in this life? Would you risk everything just to be with me? I couldn’t promise you that I would be able to protect you like Zeus protected Ganymede-I’m not God, not even close-but I knew I would love you to the very last drop of blood I had in me.
I was too afraid to ask. I had no courage to find out your answer.
And I instantly forgot ever wanting to ask you anything the moment you kissed me. Mercilessly you reached deep into my soul, and then grabbed my throbbing heart inside your hand. I took you into my hold, desperate to claim you as mine. We spent the night making love under the glittering constellations in the sky, adding noises to the otherwise peaceful night-your moaning, my chanting your name, and the sounds of our skins rubbing against each other.
I easily believed that it would always be like this, the two of us floating high in our private little heaven. You loved me just as much as I loved you; we were both as happy as we could be. I was your Zeus, and you were my beautiful Ganymede. We were stranded together in space and time, where the future held no meaning for us.
But then a myth was a myth. I was an idiot to believe that a ‘happy ever after’ kind of ending would happen to us too.
It’s been four years now since that night; it seemed like a long time, but I still remember everything. I even remember how the touch of your lips felt like on mine when you whispered “I love you” at the end of the night.
But you… do you remember? Do you remember anything at all?
I haven’t heard from you since the day you went away. I don’t know how you’ve been, if you are okay, or if you feel as miserable as I do now. You’ve never called me. You’ve never written me a letter or anything. Didn’t you know my phone number and address? I can’t stop wondering why you’ve never tried to contact me, not even once.
Do you know how broken I was the day I found out your father had sent you away abroad to some foreign country over the sea? You did tell me once that he had always wanted you to study hard, go to some fancy high-standard school, and become what he wanted you to become-a proper businessman or some sort. But I hadn’t expected it to happen so suddenly; you didn’t even give me a notice. At first I thought you must have been forced to leave in a rush-your father could be such a repressive man, like you said yourself. And then I suspected your father had confiscated your phone, which might have explained why you never called me.
But then days became months, months became years, and still there’s no sign of you. The question “Where are you?” has become “Will you ever come back?” and neither of which has ever met an answer.
Tonight I find myself standing all alone in the middle of our deserted heaven, the grassy field that used to be our secret spot. I bring my old emergency lamp with me-this ancient thing is still working perfectly even after all these years. But of course there’s nothing here, as expected. I don’t even know why I bother coming all the way here when I know I won’t find you. You’re definitely not here; in fact, not even a single trace of you is here.
I sit on the ground, reveling at how loud the crickets are screaming in the silence. The scent of the earth brings back memories, memories of what I once had but now lost. It hurts, inevitably. It hurts to think that I used to be so happy, so fulfilled, but now I don’t suppose a man can feel complete when his heart is missing. That’s how it feels. You went away without ever giving me my heart back, now I’m left with this gaping hole in my chest and a hollow space inside.
How could you? There hasn’t been a day I passed without asking why, wondering where you were and what you were doing. Just tell me why, explain to me once so that I can understand.
Tonight, are you staring at the sky too, love? I wonder if it looks the same, wherever you are. Here, above our secret spot, the sky is clear. It’s our endless stretch of black canopy with diamonds that we marveled back then. I can see the stars up there, glimmering just as brightly as they did years ago. I can see the constellations you’ve shown me that night: Pisces, Pegasus, Delphinus, and of course, a couple of my favorite constellations, Aquarius and Aquila. They’re still there, side by side, the Water-Bearer and the Eagle; Zeus and Ganymede.
Oh how I envy them.
But then I should have known; myth is no more than a myth, right? While real life will remain like it is: cruel and merciless.
I miss you, my love. I miss you so much. Why can’t the years take away the pain? Why can’t I stop feeling so lonely, so incomplete? Why won’t you come back? Come back, and I will forget the fact that you’ve left me without a word. I will love you like I used to, like I always do. I will promise you whatever you want-an escape to another life, if you wish. I will protect you from anything that threatens to harm you. I will be your Zeus if you will be my Ganymede.
Just… come back, please. Come back and hold me once again, tell me you love me. We can make love under the stars again, we can be happy like we want to.
I know I’m repeating myself again but please, come back, and we’ll become a couple of constellations in the vast sky, somewhere alongside Aquarius and Aquila, hovering side by side for all eternity.
Come back, Takanori. Come back to me.
~ THE END ~
A/N:
The myth that inspired me to write this was of Zeus and Ganymede; yes that’s right, incase you haven’t heard of it, Zeus did have a male lover (I myself was a little too late discovering about it). I found it to be such a romantic story. I mean, all the other male-male love stories in Greek mythology usually ended up tragically (let’s not start talking about Apollo and Hyacinth, shall we?). But not Zeus and Ganymede, despite Hera’s jealousy getting in the way. They lived happily ever after, as constellations at least.
And then there’s the GazettE’s UNTITLED… Oh that song is just so beautiful. Ruki said that the song had a ‘night sky’ sort of theme; so as I listened to it over and over (and over and over) again, this story came to exist. I can’t ever stop admiring the guy for creating such a wonderful song. And the sentence “I know I’m repeating myself again but please…” was, of course, taken from UNTITLED’s lyric, “Why do I repeat myself again?”. I don’t know why but the words are forever stuck in my head.
And one more thing, Ruki is Aquarius (February 1st). What a coincidence. *giggles*
Okay. Here are some resources incase you’re interested to find out more about Zeus and Ganymede:
one; two; three
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