Camille Saroyan picspam
While I was doing some research for a possible new FF I thought I could use some of the information I gathered to make this pic spam...
Dr. Camille Saroyan
because she's a wisecracking pathologist with a dark sense of humor
When she first appeared she not only flirted with Booth while holding an arm in her hand but she also started to boss around Brennan:
Cam: Why are you still here Dr. Brennan?
Brennan: Because I am not a coroner and you are not my boss?
Cam: You got that half right
As well as the rest of the team:
Cam: I am a diuretic seagull, people. Everything goes through me
Especially Hodgins had kind of a rough start with her:
CAM: Dr. Hodgins? You’re chattering me to death because you’re hoping I’ll forget you called me a wanktard.
HODGINS: It’s a…made up word. No meaning.
And when they wouldn't listen she threatened to take "New York action":
CAM: Your encouragement does not signify my authorization. If it happens again, I will take action. And I’m from New York, which means that I will take New York action. Am I clear?
BRENNAN: Not at all.
ZACK: I’m from Michigan.
HODGINS: Dr. Saroyan means she’ll make us watch musical theatre.
CAM: Wrong New York. I’m more from the get-mugged-in-broad-daylight tradition. This is not a high school science fair; this is the Jeffersonian Institute. Unauthorized experiments in forensics will get you fired.
ZACK: But…we’re Hodge-Podge and Zackaroni.
BRENNAN: And, they work for me.
CAM: You know, what I’d really like to do here is enjoy a meeting of the minds. But, if you insist on an organizational pyramid, I will be at the top.
Booth wasn't intimidated though:
He thought it was cute
Yet then she won the respect of everyone by defending "her team"
CAM: You tell people the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided and if you have any ability as a prosecutor, you’ll win the case.
LISA SUPEK: Are you finished?
CAM: No, Ms. Supek. In the future, when you have problems with my team, you register them with me in private, not by grandstanding in a public forum.
And she offered Brennan a "Get out of jail free" card:
CAM: I'm in charge. But out of respect for you, I could extend - Did you ever play Monopoly?
BRENNAN: No.
CAM: Well, they have this thing called a 'Get out of jail free' card. Think of it as a free pass to defy me. No explanation needed. No recriminations. No repercussions.
BRENNAN: Well, how - how many would I get?
CAM: One a week.
BRENNAN: Five per case.
CAM: Three per week.
It might not have worked with Brennan and Booth but at least she managed to anger the people at the coroner's office. That's something, right?
CAM: After that, old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner’s office and tell them I want two field-unit water sifters sent here ASAP.
ZACK: They get mad when I drop your name.
CAM: Then drop it twice.
Also, in combination with Hodgins Cam is just H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
HODGINS: Braided gold and platinum. Preserved by true love, no doubt.
ANGELA: One metal for each desperate housewife.
CAM: People, can we at least fake some sense of decorum.
ANGELA: I can’t help it. It’s so Jerry Springer. First of all, how does anyone juggle two spouses?
HODGINS: I can think of ways. Of course, by juggles, I mean quite literally-
CAM: I have a scalpel.
ANGELA: Maybe he dissolved himself so there’d be more of him to go around. [Cam gives her a look] I’m going to hell, aren’t I?
HODGINS: I’ll save you a seat.
HODGINS: Do you really plan on reading Dr. Brennan's book?
CAM: What? Of course. I only - I bought it - ya know it's on a pile I'm waiting - No. I don't. (Hodgins laughs) Please don't tell her. It's just after dealing with murder all day, I can't bring myself to go home and read about it for kicks.
HODGINS: So, for kicks you read...
CAM: Feminist trash. You know. Woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.
HODGINS: So, sex books.
CAM: Pretty much, yeah.
HODGINS: Hm.
CAM: Locate the ammo thief?
ZACK: Yes, but we're debating the method of bullet retrieval.
CAM: Well, I fed them all a mixture of extra strength laxative and soft tissue dilator when they arrived, so...shouldn't be long now (she leaves)
HODGINS: She fed all of them laxatives?
CAM
Wow, you weren’t kidding. If we twirl her around, we can pretend we’re at a rave. What’s the good word, Hodgins?
HODGINS
Hey, I am not a party trick!
CAM: What is it?
HODGINS: Ahhh. Unidentified particulates. The two sweetest words that I know.
CAM: I don’t even wanna think about your pillow talk with Angela.
HODGINS: Well, hello, my exotic princess.
CAM: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.
ZACH: I think he's talking to a bug.
CAM: Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.
HODGINS: We couldn’t find enough tissue for a tox screen because these little scamps ate what was left. (Dumps the jar into a blender.)
CAM: Yeah, uh. Hodgins, is that my own personal blender? From the kitchen?
HODGINS: We’ll toss these babies into the gas chromatograph.
CAM: Did you get it from the kitchen?
HODGINS: Yes. Any foreign substances in R.J.’s body should show up in the maggot juice.
CAM: Is it labeled “Personal Property of C.S.” on the bottom?
(Hodgins lifts the blender from the base and they both look at the bottom. He looks at Cam and nods.)
HODGINS: Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll rinse it out.
And they are amazing when they fight because of their staring contests
HODGINS: I'm an entomologist. I have to hatch this insect egg in order to identify an important piece of evidence in a murder investigation. Where's the funny in that?
CAM: I know you're upset about breaking up with Angela, Dr. Hodgins and I know you're upset about losing Zack. But despite your personal problems this is a work place and your attitude leaves a lot to be desired.
Hodgins: Fine, if you wanna make a change make a change. Otherwise you let me do my job and hatch this egg.
CAM: Dr. Hodgins?
HODGINS: Shshshs, my egg from the victim's shoes is hatching.
CAM: You need quiet for that?
HODGINS: No, I just thought it might stop you from talking
CAM: Pushing it, Dr. Hodgins! How's about we say you found the line?
And boy does she have incredible timing when it comes to Angela and Hodgins
HODGINS: Found casings from Eastern caterpillars in his eye sockets, means he was buried about three years ago. He has kind eyes. How do you know he had kind eyes?
ANGELA: I had to make a choice, so, I chose kind.
HODGINS: And you wonder why I love you. Is she not fantastic?
CAM: You aren’t seriously asking me to be a part of this.
She even worries about their libido
CAM: Do I have to throw cold water on you two?
ANGELA: We were, uh, just...
CAM: Oh I know, just try to keep it off the internet, okay? So, I have bad news. We’ve all been exposed to coccidiodomycosis, a fungal infection from the graveyard dirt we’ve been breathing. Symptoms include nausea, weakness, fever...
HODGINS: I feel fine.
ANGELA: Yeah, me too.
CAM: ... decreased libido...
HODGINS: I’m listening.
ANGELA: My sketch isn't matching any of the missing women on file.
HODGINS: Well, maybe no one's missed her yet.
ANGELA: Poor thing. Everybody should be missed.
HODGINS: Oh, you are such an angel.
(HODGINS leans in to kiss ANGELA.)
CAM: I will get a bucket of cold water, I swear.
Later she learns that she doesn't need to worry...
ANGELA: And I don’t think it’s good to mix the personal and work. Hodgins and I are completely separate human beings with completely separate careers.
CAM: (Puts a disc in her computer.) In your opinion, I crossed a line.
ANGELA: Yeah, it’s my opinion.
CAM: I apologize, Angela.
ANGELA: Thank you.
CAM: But you might be able to understand why I was a little confused, because apparently you’re not always against bringing your personal life to work. (Sounds of love making fill the room.)
ANGELA: Oh my God.
CAM: Cause what you’re doing there is extremely personal.
ANGELA: Yeah…extremely…personal.
CAM: I’m seeing parts of you and Hodgins I’d rather leave to the imagination.
ANGELA: When did they put security cameras in the storage area? Who else has seen this?
CAM: So far, just me and a very appreciative security guard.
ANGELA: Oh my God. Well, you’ve made your point.
CAM: Good. That’s the only copy.
ANGELA: Do we get any points for this occurring during lunch hour? Which is, as you know, personal time.
CAM: Mm, no.
ANGELA: Fair enough. I had to ask.
And again a Cam/Hodgins thing: She really hates appreciates his experiments:
ZACK: Essentially, all we have to do is fill the empty head.
HODGINS: Like a balloon.
ZACK: Which is literally what we did.
CAM: Oh, no. You did not.
HODGINS: Put a bladder inside the head and inflate it very slowly. (head starts to inflate)
CAM: This is..it’s….absolutely…
HODGINS: Brilliant?
CAM: Useless. You need the exact shape of the skull to get a likeness. Not just a….this is…turn that off.
ANGELA: Oh. My. God. You guys are perverse
CAM: Dr. Brennan was right. Bone people, should only do bone things.
Zack: That’s not human. That’s Spam.
Hodgins: Which has been injected with a number of organic poisons.We’d like to introduce a colony of Artemia Salina.
Zack: Commonly referred to as sea chimps.
Hodgins: If they die, I can check to see if running them through the spectrometer reveals what poisoned them.
Cam: What do you want from me?
Zack: Permission.
Cam: Why?
Hodgins: Because you said you’d fire us if we did any more experiments without clearing them first.
Cam: Boys, you’ve got Spam and sea chimps. You get anything out of that, and I will....buy you each a car.
HODGINS: And we filled the skull cavity with a gelatinous matrix.
CAM: Okay, turn it on.
(Hodgins and Zack bend down to watch the turkey come through the grate. It explodes and the gelatinous matrix splatters them in the face.)
CAM: By gelatinous matrix you meant ambrosia salad?
HODGINS: Gelatinous matrix sounded better.
Cam: I was going on a date...
CAM: He enjoys this way too much
ANGELA: Basically Hodgins sees himself as Dr. Nemo
CAM: You know you're grounded, right?!
CAM: What did I tell you?
HODGINS: That we aren't allowed in the same room without supervision.
CAM: Why?
VNM: Because we were stupid enough to fire a canon indoors
CAM: And?
HODGINS: You're here which, which counts for supervision, so... (Cam gives him a stern look) I leave.
More reasons to love Cam?
She's lacking whimsy, just like the rest of the team (except for Angela, of course)...
ZACK: Positive I.D. On both sets of remains. William Chang and Li Ling Fan.
ANGELA: Wow. They kinda go together.
CAM: Because they're deceased?
ANGELA: Yeah. But more than that. They're exactly same level of hotness.
CAM: Which is zero because they're skeletons.
ZACK: The cut on the skeletal structure by the removal of soft tissue match the implements the FBI confiscated from the mortuary.
ANGELA: She was ill, and he was ill. It's really too bad they never actually met.
CAM: The mortician's lawyer advised him to clam up. The Chang's now say the $25,000 was used to pay off a family debt.
ANGELA: You ever think they're spirits actually did meet and are working to get their bones together her on the psychical plane?
CAM: You mean like we're possessed and doing their bidding?
ANGELA: You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap
because she can translate Brennan to Booth
BRENNAN: The scraping is uniform in spacing but not depth, which suggests an ungual pattern.
BOOTH: What’s an uncle pattern?
BRENNAN: No, ungual. Guh. Guh. UnGUAL. (To Cam) How do I say this in a way that makes sense to Booth?
CAM: (To Booth via speaker phone) Something chewed on the skull.
BOOTH: Oh! Like a bear or a dog.
CAM: Human, Booth. Doctor Brennan is saying human.
BRENNAN: In the vernacular, our victim’s face was chewed off by a cannibal.
because she called Zach "Igor"
ZACK: Please explain to me your reluctance to remove the flesh from the bones.
CAM: I'm all right with it, Zack, if it's absolutely necessary. Even the boiling part, but perhaps you could at least acknowledge that this is a person?
ZACK: Was, you mean.
CAM: Was someone's husband, Zack.
CK: What does that have to do with removing the flesh from his bones?
CAM: Fine. Do what you have to do.
ZACK: Thank you.
CAM: Igor.
ZACK: I beg your pardon, Dr. Saroyan?
CAM: Nothing.
because she doesn't tell Booth what he wants to hear
BOOTH: Yeah, well. You know… I did arrest her father for murder. She could be having trouble with that.
CAM: Yeah. Exposing a parent to the death penalty can have a chilling effect on a partnership.
BOOTH: Well look, I asked Bones if, if, if that was a, a problem; she said no.
CAM: Well, I gotta wonder if deep down anybody is that rational.
BOOTH: You’re not reassuring me here, Camille.
CAM: If you are looking for reassurance, find someone who’s not such a good friend, Seeley.
because a horse is a horse, of course, of course
HODGINS: His name is Ed.
BRENNAN: Why is that funny?
CAM: As in a horse is a horse...
CAM, BOOTH & HODGINS: (in unison)...Of course, of course.
[Brennan continues to look confused]
BOOTH:...The famous Mr. Ed?
BRENNAN: Mr. Ed?
because she defends her sister although they are fighting
CAM: You want him, take him. I don’t care.
FELICIA: I don’t want him.
BOOTH: You don’t?
FELICIA: (To Cam) No, I was just trying to get back at you for being so perfect all the time.
CAM: So you admit it!
FELICIA: Like you’re a saint. (to Booth) She used to go into my closet with all my dolls and say that they were having a party but I wasn’t invited.
CAM: You were five, and they did not like you.
FELICIA: Typical, start a fight so we miss lunch.
CAM: Oh, you made reservations? I’m surprised. I thought we’d have to eat from a cart in the street!
BOOTH: Wow, you two can have lunch after all this?
FELICIA: Please, like you can ruin a meal. (Felicia laughs, Cam smiles.
BOOTH: Okay, that’s it. (pointing at Felicia) I don’t know who you think . . .
CAM: Don’t raise your voice to her, Seeley. (Felicia looks at Booth, appalled) (to Felicia) Let’s go, let him calm down.
BOOTH: What?
CAM: Wow.
FELICIA: Why did you guys break up? What did he do?
because she is better than an army psychiatrist
CAM: Why did they send you back from Iraq?
ZACK: I failed to assimilate. Despite my accomplishments, I was detrimental to a military team approach.
CAM: You’re very good for our team approach.
ZACK: The army psychiatrist told me that I should question why the Jeffersonian is the only place that I can fit in.
CAM: All due respect to the army psychiatrist, but that’s a helluva lot more than what some other people get. Go home, Zac-a-roni, get some rest.
because she thought of protocol when she was poisoned
Zach: Dr. Saroyan?
Cam: Protocol
Zach:Biological containment, unknown hazardous material. We need an emergency team at the autopsy lab ASAP
because she was cracking jokes even though she could hardly breathe
Booth: Hey, your family is coming
Cam: Oh god, and I thought poison was my biggest problem
And last but not least: Because she loooooves that little girl
BRENNAN: What's this?
CAM: When I left Michelle ten years ago I knew Andrew wouldn't say what needed to be said, so...
BRENNAN: So you did it?
CAM: No, I didn't know what to say and she was so little and I loved her so much. I haven't had a child of my own but I find it impossible to believe anyone, anyone could love a child more. But I had no place in her life anymore so I had to..
BRENNAN: You had to leave her in case Andrew found someone else who would help raise Michelle.
CAM: I had this old salt and pepper set my grandma gave me before she died, it fits together. I kept this one and I gave Michelle the other half and I told her that whenever she looked at it she should know that at that exact moment I'd be thinking of her and loving her.
BRENNAN: That is not strictly...
CAM: I know, Dr. Brennan. But I swear sometimes I looked at my half and I knew that little girl was missing me.
CAM: I want you to consider something. You need a place to live now.
MICHELLE: Yeah, uhm, my dad has some kind of cousin in Chicago.
CAM: (takes her half out of her bag and places it on the table) I would like you to come and live with me.
(Michelle gets up and leaves while Cam starts crying, gets up as well and walks to the door)
MICHELLE:(comes back down) Where are you going?
CAM: I thought... (stares at Michelles half. Michelle put her half next to Cam's. They hug and both cry)
Dr. Camille Saroyan
because she's a wisecracking pathologist with a dark sense of humor
When she first appeared she not only flirted with Booth while holding an arm in her hand but she also started to boss around Brennan:
Cam: Why are you still here Dr. Brennan?
Brennan: Because I am not a coroner and you are not my boss?
Cam: You got that half right
As well as the rest of the team:
Cam: I am a diuretic seagull, people. Everything goes through me
Especially Hodgins had kind of a rough start with her:
CAM: Dr. Hodgins? You’re chattering me to death because you’re hoping I’ll forget you called me a wanktard.
HODGINS: It’s a…made up word. No meaning.
And when they wouldn't listen she threatened to take "New York action":
CAM: Your encouragement does not signify my authorization. If it happens again, I will take action. And I’m from New York, which means that I will take New York action. Am I clear?
BRENNAN: Not at all.
ZACK: I’m from Michigan.
HODGINS: Dr. Saroyan means she’ll make us watch musical theatre.
CAM: Wrong New York. I’m more from the get-mugged-in-broad-daylight tradition. This is not a high school science fair; this is the Jeffersonian Institute. Unauthorized experiments in forensics will get you fired.
ZACK: But…we’re Hodge-Podge and Zackaroni.
BRENNAN: And, they work for me.
CAM: You know, what I’d really like to do here is enjoy a meeting of the minds. But, if you insist on an organizational pyramid, I will be at the top.
Booth wasn't intimidated though:
He thought it was cute
Yet then she won the respect of everyone by defending "her team"
CAM: You tell people the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided and if you have any ability as a prosecutor, you’ll win the case.
LISA SUPEK: Are you finished?
CAM: No, Ms. Supek. In the future, when you have problems with my team, you register them with me in private, not by grandstanding in a public forum.
And she offered Brennan a "Get out of jail free" card:
CAM: I'm in charge. But out of respect for you, I could extend - Did you ever play Monopoly?
BRENNAN: No.
CAM: Well, they have this thing called a 'Get out of jail free' card. Think of it as a free pass to defy me. No explanation needed. No recriminations. No repercussions.
BRENNAN: Well, how - how many would I get?
CAM: One a week.
BRENNAN: Five per case.
CAM: Three per week.
It might not have worked with Brennan and Booth but at least she managed to anger the people at the coroner's office. That's something, right?
CAM: After that, old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner’s office and tell them I want two field-unit water sifters sent here ASAP.
ZACK: They get mad when I drop your name.
CAM: Then drop it twice.
Also, in combination with Hodgins Cam is just H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
HODGINS: Braided gold and platinum. Preserved by true love, no doubt.
ANGELA: One metal for each desperate housewife.
CAM: People, can we at least fake some sense of decorum.
ANGELA: I can’t help it. It’s so Jerry Springer. First of all, how does anyone juggle two spouses?
HODGINS: I can think of ways. Of course, by juggles, I mean quite literally-
CAM: I have a scalpel.
ANGELA: Maybe he dissolved himself so there’d be more of him to go around. [Cam gives her a look] I’m going to hell, aren’t I?
HODGINS: I’ll save you a seat.
HODGINS: Do you really plan on reading Dr. Brennan's book?
CAM: What? Of course. I only - I bought it - ya know it's on a pile I'm waiting - No. I don't. (Hodgins laughs) Please don't tell her. It's just after dealing with murder all day, I can't bring myself to go home and read about it for kicks.
HODGINS: So, for kicks you read...
CAM: Feminist trash. You know. Woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.
HODGINS: So, sex books.
CAM: Pretty much, yeah.
HODGINS: Hm.
CAM: Locate the ammo thief?
ZACK: Yes, but we're debating the method of bullet retrieval.
CAM: Well, I fed them all a mixture of extra strength laxative and soft tissue dilator when they arrived, so...shouldn't be long now (she leaves)
HODGINS: She fed all of them laxatives?
CAM
Wow, you weren’t kidding. If we twirl her around, we can pretend we’re at a rave. What’s the good word, Hodgins?
HODGINS
Hey, I am not a party trick!
CAM: What is it?
HODGINS: Ahhh. Unidentified particulates. The two sweetest words that I know.
CAM: I don’t even wanna think about your pillow talk with Angela.
HODGINS: Well, hello, my exotic princess.
CAM: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.
ZACH: I think he's talking to a bug.
CAM: Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.
HODGINS: We couldn’t find enough tissue for a tox screen because these little scamps ate what was left. (Dumps the jar into a blender.)
CAM: Yeah, uh. Hodgins, is that my own personal blender? From the kitchen?
HODGINS: We’ll toss these babies into the gas chromatograph.
CAM: Did you get it from the kitchen?
HODGINS: Yes. Any foreign substances in R.J.’s body should show up in the maggot juice.
CAM: Is it labeled “Personal Property of C.S.” on the bottom?
(Hodgins lifts the blender from the base and they both look at the bottom. He looks at Cam and nods.)
HODGINS: Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll rinse it out.
And they are amazing when they fight because of their staring contests
HODGINS: I'm an entomologist. I have to hatch this insect egg in order to identify an important piece of evidence in a murder investigation. Where's the funny in that?
CAM: I know you're upset about breaking up with Angela, Dr. Hodgins and I know you're upset about losing Zack. But despite your personal problems this is a work place and your attitude leaves a lot to be desired.
Hodgins: Fine, if you wanna make a change make a change. Otherwise you let me do my job and hatch this egg.
CAM: Dr. Hodgins?
HODGINS: Shshshs, my egg from the victim's shoes is hatching.
CAM: You need quiet for that?
HODGINS: No, I just thought it might stop you from talking
CAM: Pushing it, Dr. Hodgins! How's about we say you found the line?
And boy does she have incredible timing when it comes to Angela and Hodgins
HODGINS: Found casings from Eastern caterpillars in his eye sockets, means he was buried about three years ago. He has kind eyes. How do you know he had kind eyes?
ANGELA: I had to make a choice, so, I chose kind.
HODGINS: And you wonder why I love you. Is she not fantastic?
CAM: You aren’t seriously asking me to be a part of this.
She even worries about their libido
CAM: Do I have to throw cold water on you two?
ANGELA: We were, uh, just...
CAM: Oh I know, just try to keep it off the internet, okay? So, I have bad news. We’ve all been exposed to coccidiodomycosis, a fungal infection from the graveyard dirt we’ve been breathing. Symptoms include nausea, weakness, fever...
HODGINS: I feel fine.
ANGELA: Yeah, me too.
CAM: ... decreased libido...
HODGINS: I’m listening.
ANGELA: My sketch isn't matching any of the missing women on file.
HODGINS: Well, maybe no one's missed her yet.
ANGELA: Poor thing. Everybody should be missed.
HODGINS: Oh, you are such an angel.
(HODGINS leans in to kiss ANGELA.)
CAM: I will get a bucket of cold water, I swear.
Later she learns that she doesn't need to worry...
ANGELA: And I don’t think it’s good to mix the personal and work. Hodgins and I are completely separate human beings with completely separate careers.
CAM: (Puts a disc in her computer.) In your opinion, I crossed a line.
ANGELA: Yeah, it’s my opinion.
CAM: I apologize, Angela.
ANGELA: Thank you.
CAM: But you might be able to understand why I was a little confused, because apparently you’re not always against bringing your personal life to work. (Sounds of love making fill the room.)
ANGELA: Oh my God.
CAM: Cause what you’re doing there is extremely personal.
ANGELA: Yeah…extremely…personal.
CAM: I’m seeing parts of you and Hodgins I’d rather leave to the imagination.
ANGELA: When did they put security cameras in the storage area? Who else has seen this?
CAM: So far, just me and a very appreciative security guard.
ANGELA: Oh my God. Well, you’ve made your point.
CAM: Good. That’s the only copy.
ANGELA: Do we get any points for this occurring during lunch hour? Which is, as you know, personal time.
CAM: Mm, no.
ANGELA: Fair enough. I had to ask.
And again a Cam/Hodgins thing: She really hates appreciates his experiments:
ZACK: Essentially, all we have to do is fill the empty head.
HODGINS: Like a balloon.
ZACK: Which is literally what we did.
CAM: Oh, no. You did not.
HODGINS: Put a bladder inside the head and inflate it very slowly. (head starts to inflate)
CAM: This is..it’s….absolutely…
HODGINS: Brilliant?
CAM: Useless. You need the exact shape of the skull to get a likeness. Not just a….this is…turn that off.
ANGELA: Oh. My. God. You guys are perverse
CAM: Dr. Brennan was right. Bone people, should only do bone things.
Zack: That’s not human. That’s Spam.
Hodgins: Which has been injected with a number of organic poisons.We’d like to introduce a colony of Artemia Salina.
Zack: Commonly referred to as sea chimps.
Hodgins: If they die, I can check to see if running them through the spectrometer reveals what poisoned them.
Cam: What do you want from me?
Zack: Permission.
Cam: Why?
Hodgins: Because you said you’d fire us if we did any more experiments without clearing them first.
Cam: Boys, you’ve got Spam and sea chimps. You get anything out of that, and I will....buy you each a car.
HODGINS: And we filled the skull cavity with a gelatinous matrix.
CAM: Okay, turn it on.
(Hodgins and Zack bend down to watch the turkey come through the grate. It explodes and the gelatinous matrix splatters them in the face.)
CAM: By gelatinous matrix you meant ambrosia salad?
HODGINS: Gelatinous matrix sounded better.
Cam: I was going on a date...
CAM: He enjoys this way too much
ANGELA: Basically Hodgins sees himself as Dr. Nemo
CAM: You know you're grounded, right?!
CAM: What did I tell you?
HODGINS: That we aren't allowed in the same room without supervision.
CAM: Why?
VNM: Because we were stupid enough to fire a canon indoors
CAM: And?
HODGINS: You're here which, which counts for supervision, so... (Cam gives him a stern look) I leave.
More reasons to love Cam?
She's lacking whimsy, just like the rest of the team (except for Angela, of course)...
ZACK: Positive I.D. On both sets of remains. William Chang and Li Ling Fan.
ANGELA: Wow. They kinda go together.
CAM: Because they're deceased?
ANGELA: Yeah. But more than that. They're exactly same level of hotness.
CAM: Which is zero because they're skeletons.
ZACK: The cut on the skeletal structure by the removal of soft tissue match the implements the FBI confiscated from the mortuary.
ANGELA: She was ill, and he was ill. It's really too bad they never actually met.
CAM: The mortician's lawyer advised him to clam up. The Chang's now say the $25,000 was used to pay off a family debt.
ANGELA: You ever think they're spirits actually did meet and are working to get their bones together her on the psychical plane?
CAM: You mean like we're possessed and doing their bidding?
ANGELA: You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap
because she can translate Brennan to Booth
BRENNAN: The scraping is uniform in spacing but not depth, which suggests an ungual pattern.
BOOTH: What’s an uncle pattern?
BRENNAN: No, ungual. Guh. Guh. UnGUAL. (To Cam) How do I say this in a way that makes sense to Booth?
CAM: (To Booth via speaker phone) Something chewed on the skull.
BOOTH: Oh! Like a bear or a dog.
CAM: Human, Booth. Doctor Brennan is saying human.
BRENNAN: In the vernacular, our victim’s face was chewed off by a cannibal.
because she called Zach "Igor"
ZACK: Please explain to me your reluctance to remove the flesh from the bones.
CAM: I'm all right with it, Zack, if it's absolutely necessary. Even the boiling part, but perhaps you could at least acknowledge that this is a person?
ZACK: Was, you mean.
CAM: Was someone's husband, Zack.
CK: What does that have to do with removing the flesh from his bones?
CAM: Fine. Do what you have to do.
ZACK: Thank you.
CAM: Igor.
ZACK: I beg your pardon, Dr. Saroyan?
CAM: Nothing.
because she doesn't tell Booth what he wants to hear
BOOTH: Yeah, well. You know… I did arrest her father for murder. She could be having trouble with that.
CAM: Yeah. Exposing a parent to the death penalty can have a chilling effect on a partnership.
BOOTH: Well look, I asked Bones if, if, if that was a, a problem; she said no.
CAM: Well, I gotta wonder if deep down anybody is that rational.
BOOTH: You’re not reassuring me here, Camille.
CAM: If you are looking for reassurance, find someone who’s not such a good friend, Seeley.
because a horse is a horse, of course, of course
HODGINS: His name is Ed.
BRENNAN: Why is that funny?
CAM: As in a horse is a horse...
CAM, BOOTH & HODGINS: (in unison)...Of course, of course.
[Brennan continues to look confused]
BOOTH:...The famous Mr. Ed?
BRENNAN: Mr. Ed?
because she defends her sister although they are fighting
CAM: You want him, take him. I don’t care.
FELICIA: I don’t want him.
BOOTH: You don’t?
FELICIA: (To Cam) No, I was just trying to get back at you for being so perfect all the time.
CAM: So you admit it!
FELICIA: Like you’re a saint. (to Booth) She used to go into my closet with all my dolls and say that they were having a party but I wasn’t invited.
CAM: You were five, and they did not like you.
FELICIA: Typical, start a fight so we miss lunch.
CAM: Oh, you made reservations? I’m surprised. I thought we’d have to eat from a cart in the street!
BOOTH: Wow, you two can have lunch after all this?
FELICIA: Please, like you can ruin a meal. (Felicia laughs, Cam smiles.
BOOTH: Okay, that’s it. (pointing at Felicia) I don’t know who you think . . .
CAM: Don’t raise your voice to her, Seeley. (Felicia looks at Booth, appalled) (to Felicia) Let’s go, let him calm down.
BOOTH: What?
CAM: Wow.
FELICIA: Why did you guys break up? What did he do?
because she is better than an army psychiatrist
CAM: Why did they send you back from Iraq?
ZACK: I failed to assimilate. Despite my accomplishments, I was detrimental to a military team approach.
CAM: You’re very good for our team approach.
ZACK: The army psychiatrist told me that I should question why the Jeffersonian is the only place that I can fit in.
CAM: All due respect to the army psychiatrist, but that’s a helluva lot more than what some other people get. Go home, Zac-a-roni, get some rest.
because she thought of protocol when she was poisoned
Zach: Dr. Saroyan?
Cam: Protocol
Zach:Biological containment, unknown hazardous material. We need an emergency team at the autopsy lab ASAP
because she was cracking jokes even though she could hardly breathe
Booth: Hey, your family is coming
Cam: Oh god, and I thought poison was my biggest problem
And last but not least: Because she loooooves that little girl
BRENNAN: What's this?
CAM: When I left Michelle ten years ago I knew Andrew wouldn't say what needed to be said, so...
BRENNAN: So you did it?
CAM: No, I didn't know what to say and she was so little and I loved her so much. I haven't had a child of my own but I find it impossible to believe anyone, anyone could love a child more. But I had no place in her life anymore so I had to..
BRENNAN: You had to leave her in case Andrew found someone else who would help raise Michelle.
CAM: I had this old salt and pepper set my grandma gave me before she died, it fits together. I kept this one and I gave Michelle the other half and I told her that whenever she looked at it she should know that at that exact moment I'd be thinking of her and loving her.
BRENNAN: That is not strictly...
CAM: I know, Dr. Brennan. But I swear sometimes I looked at my half and I knew that little girl was missing me.
CAM: I want you to consider something. You need a place to live now.
MICHELLE: Yeah, uhm, my dad has some kind of cousin in Chicago.
CAM: (takes her half out of her bag and places it on the table) I would like you to come and live with me.
(Michelle gets up and leaves while Cam starts crying, gets up as well and walks to the door)
MICHELLE:(comes back down) Where are you going?
CAM: I thought... (stares at Michelles half. Michelle put her half next to Cam's. They hug and both cry)
