[fic] Heal Me - Fourth Cut ~The Ramen Dilemma~
Title: Heal Me
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Summary - Heal Me: The difficult task of readjusting to a normal life... will they make it through together?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Heal Me
Fourth Cut ~The Ramen Dilemma~
They made it to the ramen shop and had ordered. Koki was talking but Kame was barely aware. He was cautiously looking around. They were all staring at him. He knew they were. They were seeing the lie behind his calm exterior.
They were seeing the truth that Ryo had shown him.
“… right, Kame?” Koki finished. Kame still didn’t know what he had been talking about. He was focused on the room.
“I…” and Kame leaned forward towards Koki. “Everyone is staring at me…”
Koki looked around. “Nobody is staring, Kame. Nobody is paying any attention to us.”
“Can… can we get it to go?”
Koki considered for a moment. “I think it would be better to stay. Better for you. You need to get used to being around people again.”
“I… I can’t.” And Kame went to stand. But Koki grabbed his wrist.
+++
Damn it, he was trying to do the right thing for Kame. Was he going to have to sit on him to get him to stay?
But when he grabbed Kame’s wrist, Koki was shocked by the sudden change in him. The look was back. The one from the bathroom. So much hate. So much desire. It was confusing and dirty and Koki didn’t like it at all. It was not a look Kame would ever give someone.
And then Kame laughed, only it wasn’t a good laugh. It was creepy and had this almost physical presence. It was painful to hear that kind of laugh coming from his friend.
“So that’s what this is about, then. In front of so many, though? That’s a little bold.” That awful laugh again. And his voice… there was so many things wrong with that voice.
“Kame, stop it!” Koki let go of Kame’s wrist.
“What happened? Lose your courage?” Another laugh. Kame walked around the table to stand behind Koki’s chair, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Tell you what. Meet me in the alley behind the shop in five minutes.”
Koki shivered at he felt Kame’s tongue dart ever so faintly along the rim of his ear. In shock, Koki all but leapt from his chair, knocking it over as Kame walked away - no, maybe “seductively stalked” would be closer - waving at the door and then stepping outside and, Koki could only guess, heading around the building.
He was pretty sure his heart had stopped.
What should he do? He couldn’t leave Kame here. Not like that. Jin would kill him (well, he might kill him anyway). But he wasn’t sure how to get Kame to go back to the dorm, either. Sighing, he tried calling Jin. No answer. But Koki wasn’t surprised because he was supposed to be in class.
Maru was also supposed to be in class. Same with Yamapi.
So it was Junno or Ueda.
He tried Ueda first and was thankfully able to reach him. He didn’t even give Ueda a chance to say hello. “Tat-chan! Emergency at the little ramen shop that open over the summer! Get here like yesterday, okay? We’ll be… in the alley, I think. Seriously, hurry. If you can fly, do that; otherwise, just run like hell, okay?”
Koki apologized to the man behind the counter for the disturbance. He paid for their order but didn’t wait for them to pack it up. He was too intent on finding Kame and keeping him out of trouble. Once he was outside, he ran around the building in the same direction Kame had taken.
At least Kame was waiting where he said he would.
“Kame, you’ve got to stop this n-” but he didn’t finish because Kame grabbed his shirt and roughly shoved him against the wall. And then Kame was pressed tightly against him, lips locked on his. Koki was so shocked he didn’t even try to keep Kame from deepening the kiss. And then he felt Kame’s hand on his stomach traveling downward to somewhere very sensitive…
But it only took a second or two to recover his senses and when he did, he pushed Kame off of him. “Stop! Not like this!” And Koki realized he was crying. He had wanted Kame to kiss him for so long and though he’d never go behind Jin’s back, he still held onto that as some sort of distant dream. This, though, was not what he wanted. His first and most likely only kiss from Kame was something so… wrong. It just broke his heart.
“What’s wrong? You mean to say you don’t want me? Because that’s not what my hand told me just now…” Kame pouted, running his eyes down the length of Koki’s body and his hands down his own body slowly, sensually. “This is what I’m good for, isn’t it? Let your Turtle Boyfriend take care of you…”
Where the hell was Ueda?! What was taking him so damn long!
Koki was breathing heavy. “No. No, we’re not doing anything like that. We’re going back to the dorm and then I’m gonna go get Jin even if I have to barge into his class to get him.”
Kame took a step back towards Koki. “Why would you want to spoil our fun like that? I know you want me. I can see it plain as day.” Another step. “You’ll like what I can do… I learned all sorts of neat things,” Kame purred.
And then Kame was yet again pressed against Koki.
“Kame! What the hell are you doing?” Ueda shouted, running towards them. Finally!
Kame didn’t back away from Koki but he turned his head to look at Ueda. “Can’t you see we’re busy? Go fuck Jin again or something. Leave us alone.”
Ueda had slept with Jin? When?!
“No. You’re coming with me.” Ueda pulled him off of Koki and quite literally swept Kame up off of his feet to carry him. Kame started struggling but Ueda was a lot stronger even than he looked and Kame couldn’t get away.
“Thank god you finally got here!” Koki breathed a sigh of relief.
It seemed like Kame had pretty much figured out that Ueda was too strong to drop him even if he was struggling so instead he’d started hitting him, screaming obscenities that neither Koki nor Ueda thought they’d ever hear from him but as he started to exhaust himself it all devolved into him crying and hugging Ueda’s neck.
“Come on, let’s get you home, okay?” Ueda said softly. Looking at Koki, he mouthed what looked like, “What happened?”
Mouthing back, Kame replied, “Don’t know.” He’d tell him the whole story once they got Kame settled.
+++
Koki and Ueda walked back to the dorm. Ueda carried Kame all the way back to his room, ignoring the strange looks he was getting. When they got there, he laid Kame down on his bed. At least somewhere along the way, he had stopped crying.
Then Ueda went out into the hall. He started closing the door but a terrified squeal from Kame changed his mind and he left the door ajar.
Now that Kame was taken care of, Ueda whispered to Koki, “Start from the beginning.”
Scratching the back of his head, Koki asked in a low tone as well, “The beginning like just this time or the beginning with the first time?”
“This happened already before?”
Koki nodded. “Two days ago. But it wasn’t so bad. He just said some stuff, kept his hands to himself. It was right after he broke the bathroom mirror, I think. I found him in the bathtub and he just gave me this look… I don’t know how to explain it. It… it was like he… I dunno. But he asked me if I wanted him. I panicked and left.”
Ueda was a not happy to hear that. “You just left him like that? Geez, Koki… What did Jin say when you told him?”
Now Koki looked terribly guilty. “I didn’t exactly mention it yet.”
“What?!”
“I wanted to try talking to Kame first. I was gonna tell him, I swear! But that’s why I invited Kame out to lunch today. And he seemed fine this time and he didn’t even seem to remember doing that. Then we were at the ramen shop. He got nervous, wanted to leave. I thought it would be good for him to spend a little time in a public place, somewhere with people. I told him not to go and I grabbed his wrist.
“It was like someone flipped a switch. He had that look again and he was saying more stuff, teasing sort of stuff, and then he said to meet him in the alley in five minutes. I tried to call Jin but he was in class. So I called you. I went to find him and he practically assaulted me.
“Then you showed up. You know the rest.”
Ueda stood there a second, letting it all sink in. “Well, first we need to tell Jin and hope you survive the ordeal. After that, we-”
But Kame wandered out of the room at this point. “So that’s why you’re taking so long; you ran into Tat-chan… Hey, wait a minute. Where the ramen?”
From Koki, “What…?”
Kame looked confused. “But… I thought… I asked you if we could get it to go because I didn’t want to be there… Didn’t you stay behind to get it? I mean, I know I should probably have waited to help you carry it but I had to get away from all those people staring at me.”
“They weren’t staring at you…” Koki murmured.
This was just fantastic. Kame didn’t seem to remember. If they told Jin and he angrily confronted Kame while Kame didn’t remember it happening, that could have terrible consequences. Normally he’d tell Koki to talk to Jin but it might be better if he did it. Both Koki and Jin could be very brash at times.
+++
Jin was on his way back to his room when Ueda grabbed hold of him and pretty much forced him to sit down on the couch in the common room. “Hey, what gives? I need to get back to Kame!”
“Trust me; you need to hear this first. It’s actually about Kame.”
That got his full attention. “Why, what happened? Is he okay?” Jin’s mind started flashing possibilities and he didn’t like the thought of any of them.
“He’s having these…” and Ueda seemed to be considering his words carefully, “episodes. I need you to promise not to run off before I’ve said everything I need to say. Okay?”
Jin nodded rapidly. “Just tell me, Tat-chan!”
So Ueda started explaining everything Koki had told him. Jin listened in shock. His Kazu would never do something like that. He just wouldn’t. “Koki must have misunderstood what he…”
The look Ueda gave him stopped him cold. “What about me? Did I misunderstand Kame pressing himself against Koki, pinning him to the wall? Or when he told me that they were busy and I should ‘go fuck Jin again or something’?”
Jin had been about to say something but stopped. Instead, “He… he said that? Those exact words?”
“His exact words, yes.”
“He said ‘fuck’?”
“Yeah. And a whole lot of other stuff I never thought I’d hear from him. Some of it sounded anatomically impossible and none of it is really repeatable. He screamed a lot of stuff at me when I pulled him away from Koki.”
He just got his Kame back and now this? Kame wouldn’t even take his shirt off around Jin yet (Jin pretended not to notice Kame’s intense effort to not be seen naked by him) but he was fooling around behind his back with one of his friends? Well, trying to, anyway. That really hurt. His shoulders slumped. “Tat-chan…”
“The thing is, Jin, Kame doesn’t remember doing it. If you confront him, you’ll only confuse him. I honestly don’t know what you should do instead. Doing nothing is a terrible idea, but I’m not sure accusing him of cheating given everything that’s happened and that he doesn’t even remember doing it is the route to go either. Just… he needs help. Please don’t do anything rash. You know how much you mean to him.”
Jin sighed. “I don’t know what to do either,” he admitted.
“I think he’s only doing this around Koki, but since he doesn’t remember doing it, that might not be true. But I'm pretty sure it’s just Koki. I have a sort of guess about what’s happening. I think it has something to do with the fact he’s figured out Koki really does like him and he can’t handle the fact that yet another person (like Ryo) is attracted to him other than you, so he snaps. But I don’t know why it manifests itself like it does or what, exactly, triggers it.”
Then Ueda said something Jin wouldn’t have expected to hear from him. “As much as I’d love the thought of you being available so that I might stand a chance… I don’t think you should throw away what you have with Kame over these episodes, at least until we figure out what’s really going on.”
Jin knew how hard that must have been for Ueda to say, considering how much he knew his friend wanted him.
God, why did life have to be so complicated. And what should he do about Kame?
“Hey, Tat-chan, would you do me a favor? I think… I think I shouldn’t see Koki right now. Could you give him a message?”
“Sure.”
“Tell him that I trust him but maybe for the time being it would be best if he wasn’t alone with Kame. I don’t know if it will keep it from happening but if it does happen, at least he’ll have some help and maybe we can figure out why it’s happening.”
“I’ll tell him, Jin. I’m sure he’ll understand.” And Ueda stood. “One last thing, Jin.”
“Hmm?”
“You should probably thank Koki next time you do talk to him. You have no idea how hard it is to turn down someone you’ve wanted for so long when they are just as eager as you are. He may whine a lot, but he’s proven stronger than I did, against far more direct and forceful temptation.”
Ueda walked off and Jin was finally free to go check on Kame.
He didn’t say anything about what Ueda had told him. Kame was so happy to see him that he just couldn’t. Not yet.
+++
The hot water felt so good. A good shower cures a lot of ills. Even after he was clean, Kame stood there under the hot water, basking in the warmth. But all good things come to an end and he couldn’t just stand there forever. Turning off the water, he grabbed his towel and started drying himself. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went into the bedroom proper to hunt for clothes from his dresser.
Suddenly there was a gasp behind him, the sound of something hitting the flood, and Jin’s voice, “Oh, god, your back! What did he do?”
And before he could stop the reflexive action, Kame had turned towards the voice.
+++
Normally he wouldn’t be heading back to the dorm room yet, but Jin had forgotten his text book for his second class, so he went to get it. He hadn’t taken more than two steps into the room when he noticed Kame across the room at the dresser.
His back was a complete mess of scars, healing cuts, and bruises that still hadn’t completely faded even after almost two weeks of being away from Ryo. Jin dropped his bag at the shock of the sight.
And when Kame spun around to face him and Jin saw the word ‘slut’ cut into flesh, he was completely horrified. He knew Ryo had been cruel but… that? Carving letters into him?
Kame completely freaked out. He dropped down to the ground right where he was standing and tucked his knees to his chest, head down, his side against the dresser. “Don’t look at me. Please don’t look at me…” he cried softly. “Now you really see it… You know. You’ll always know. You’ll see it every time you look at me…”
“Kazu…” Jin took a few steps towards him.
Sniffling, Kame said, “I’ll… I’ll g-g-go.”
“No!” and Jin dropped down right next to him, putting his arm around him and holding him closely. “You hear that? My heart beating? For as long as it does that, please don’t leave… I need you, Kazuya. Please.”
Kame clutched the front of Jin’s shirt, weeping. “I need you too, Jin. I really do. You’re all I have left that’s g-good. He took so much… He even took our special place from me…”
Jin was completely surprised and asked, “He knew about that place?”
“No, he followed me. He followed me there and I didn’t even notice he was following. He asked if it was a special place but I didn’t want him to know so I said it wasn’t. But he didn’t believe me or he didn’t care. I’m not sure which. Oh, Jin… I fought so hard! I tried to get past him but he dragged me down by my shirt and then he was on top of me.
“Please forgive me, Jin. I begged him not to do it. Not there. I told him I’d do whatever he wanted as long it wasn’t there… I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to betray you but I couldn’t let him tarnish our secret place!
“But it didn’t matter, because he did it anyway. Right there. And I kept fighting but all I managed to do was pull up some grass. He… he m-made me tell him I liked it while he…” Jin could feel Kame shaking violently in his arms. He ran his fingers gently through Kame’s hair.
“I’m not sure how long… seemed like hours. But then he tied my wrists together and tied the other end to a tree so I couldn’t get away. We were there till sometime the next day. Three more times he… I mean… while we were there. It hurt so much, Jin!” Kame sobbed against his chest. “And then he m-m-m-made me c-c-call y-y-y-you…”
“Shh… it’s okay, Kazu. You’re safe now. He’s dead, he can’t ever hurt you again. Shh…” but Jin was also crying. “And I’m not all you have left that’s good. You have friends. Maru and Koki and Yamapi and Junno and Ueda…”
“I’m not so sure about Koki. He’s been acting strange recently. I think he’s hiding something from me…”
“Have you told him everything yet?”
“No, I guess not…”
“Trust me, Koki is still very much your friend. He loves you, just like the rest of them. Don’t forget it, okay?”
“…okay.”
+++
It was Saturday and Kame had finally managed to slip away. Good thing Jin was a heavy sleeper and not a morning person at all, because he didn’t want to be followed where he was going. It took him an hour to find the right place, mostly because he didn’t want to ask for directions.
But finally he got there. To the doorman he said, “A friend of a friend wants to introduce me.”
The relatively unimposing doorman asked, “Which friend sent you?”
“Little Sister.”
He nodded. “Any friend of Little Sister is a friend worth having,” he said, unnecessarily loud. But then the door behind him opened. Ah, that was why. Not quite so unnecessary after all.
The man on the other side of the door was a hell of a lot scarier. Kame had to admit, the whole setup was pretty slick, though for all he knew, that’s how they all did their business. They still get guarded by muscle but without painting a bit target on the building. He stepped inside, swallowing nervously as the door was closed behind him.
A voice called out from a room down the hall. “Little Sister doesn’t send new business. Grab him.”
And before Kame could react, the large man at the door had him, arm bent painfully behind him. He shoved him down the hall, into the room, and on his knees. The next thing Kame knew, he had a gun at his temple.
The man in front of him was not dressed in flashy clothes but there was a certain sense of style to him. He looked so harmless at casual glance but Kame wasn’t glancing casually by this time. Something in this man’s eyes was scary. He spoke, “Let’s start off easy. Who are you?”
“I… I’m K-Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“Okay, K-Kamenashi Kazuya, who do you work for?”
“I… I don’t have a job. Lina…”
A wave of the man’s hand and Kame felt the butt of the gun hit the side of his head, hard enough to daze him a bit. “Lina doesn’t send new…”
Kame was terrified to interrupt but he was more terrified of not clearing up whatever confusion he’d landed in the middle of. “I’m not exactly totally new, sort of…”
The man at his side went to pistol-whip him again but stopped as the man in charge (Kame could only assume this was Tarushi-san) held up a hand. “Explain.”
“My…” and Kame had to pause to figure out what to call Ryo. Ah! “…Keeper? He gave me stuff and I don’t know what it was but I know he bought it from you when Lina delivered it. But I can’t get it from him anymore… But… I thought… you know what he bought and maybe I could buy some myself and then I ran across Lina and she was surprised to see me but she told me where to go and what to say… and… and… Well, I guess that’s everything.”
“Keeper?”
“Ryo… er, Nishikido Ryo.”
“Let him go. Yes, I know what you want.”
Kame finally let go of the breath he’d been holding in since he finished his little explanation. Cautiously he asked, “How much is it?”
“Depends on how much you want…”
And they got down to business. Kame didn’t have enough money to buy all that much, but it should last him a while. He didn’t need to do it every day, right? Just… sometimes.
Right?
Otherwise, he was going to have to find a way to get some more money. Stashing the drugs in his wallet, Kame headed back to campus, hoping to get there before Jin woke up.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fifth Cut ~Beginning the Lies~
A/N: Bad Kame. No donut.
Seriously messed up stuff here.
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Summary - Heal Me: The difficult task of readjusting to a normal life... will they make it through together?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: Here you go!
Heal Me
Fourth Cut ~The Ramen Dilemma~
They made it to the ramen shop and had ordered. Koki was talking but Kame was barely aware. He was cautiously looking around. They were all staring at him. He knew they were. They were seeing the lie behind his calm exterior.
They were seeing the truth that Ryo had shown him.
“… right, Kame?” Koki finished. Kame still didn’t know what he had been talking about. He was focused on the room.
“I…” and Kame leaned forward towards Koki. “Everyone is staring at me…”
Koki looked around. “Nobody is staring, Kame. Nobody is paying any attention to us.”
“Can… can we get it to go?”
Koki considered for a moment. “I think it would be better to stay. Better for you. You need to get used to being around people again.”
“I… I can’t.” And Kame went to stand. But Koki grabbed his wrist.
+++
Damn it, he was trying to do the right thing for Kame. Was he going to have to sit on him to get him to stay?
But when he grabbed Kame’s wrist, Koki was shocked by the sudden change in him. The look was back. The one from the bathroom. So much hate. So much desire. It was confusing and dirty and Koki didn’t like it at all. It was not a look Kame would ever give someone.
And then Kame laughed, only it wasn’t a good laugh. It was creepy and had this almost physical presence. It was painful to hear that kind of laugh coming from his friend.
“So that’s what this is about, then. In front of so many, though? That’s a little bold.” That awful laugh again. And his voice… there was so many things wrong with that voice.
“Kame, stop it!” Koki let go of Kame’s wrist.
“What happened? Lose your courage?” Another laugh. Kame walked around the table to stand behind Koki’s chair, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Tell you what. Meet me in the alley behind the shop in five minutes.”
Koki shivered at he felt Kame’s tongue dart ever so faintly along the rim of his ear. In shock, Koki all but leapt from his chair, knocking it over as Kame walked away - no, maybe “seductively stalked” would be closer - waving at the door and then stepping outside and, Koki could only guess, heading around the building.
He was pretty sure his heart had stopped.
What should he do? He couldn’t leave Kame here. Not like that. Jin would kill him (well, he might kill him anyway). But he wasn’t sure how to get Kame to go back to the dorm, either. Sighing, he tried calling Jin. No answer. But Koki wasn’t surprised because he was supposed to be in class.
Maru was also supposed to be in class. Same with Yamapi.
So it was Junno or Ueda.
He tried Ueda first and was thankfully able to reach him. He didn’t even give Ueda a chance to say hello. “Tat-chan! Emergency at the little ramen shop that open over the summer! Get here like yesterday, okay? We’ll be… in the alley, I think. Seriously, hurry. If you can fly, do that; otherwise, just run like hell, okay?”
Koki apologized to the man behind the counter for the disturbance. He paid for their order but didn’t wait for them to pack it up. He was too intent on finding Kame and keeping him out of trouble. Once he was outside, he ran around the building in the same direction Kame had taken.
At least Kame was waiting where he said he would.
“Kame, you’ve got to stop this n-” but he didn’t finish because Kame grabbed his shirt and roughly shoved him against the wall. And then Kame was pressed tightly against him, lips locked on his. Koki was so shocked he didn’t even try to keep Kame from deepening the kiss. And then he felt Kame’s hand on his stomach traveling downward to somewhere very sensitive…
But it only took a second or two to recover his senses and when he did, he pushed Kame off of him. “Stop! Not like this!” And Koki realized he was crying. He had wanted Kame to kiss him for so long and though he’d never go behind Jin’s back, he still held onto that as some sort of distant dream. This, though, was not what he wanted. His first and most likely only kiss from Kame was something so… wrong. It just broke his heart.
“What’s wrong? You mean to say you don’t want me? Because that’s not what my hand told me just now…” Kame pouted, running his eyes down the length of Koki’s body and his hands down his own body slowly, sensually. “This is what I’m good for, isn’t it? Let your Turtle Boyfriend take care of you…”
Where the hell was Ueda?! What was taking him so damn long!
Koki was breathing heavy. “No. No, we’re not doing anything like that. We’re going back to the dorm and then I’m gonna go get Jin even if I have to barge into his class to get him.”
Kame took a step back towards Koki. “Why would you want to spoil our fun like that? I know you want me. I can see it plain as day.” Another step. “You’ll like what I can do… I learned all sorts of neat things,” Kame purred.
And then Kame was yet again pressed against Koki.
“Kame! What the hell are you doing?” Ueda shouted, running towards them. Finally!
Kame didn’t back away from Koki but he turned his head to look at Ueda. “Can’t you see we’re busy? Go fuck Jin again or something. Leave us alone.”
Ueda had slept with Jin? When?!
“No. You’re coming with me.” Ueda pulled him off of Koki and quite literally swept Kame up off of his feet to carry him. Kame started struggling but Ueda was a lot stronger even than he looked and Kame couldn’t get away.
“Thank god you finally got here!” Koki breathed a sigh of relief.
It seemed like Kame had pretty much figured out that Ueda was too strong to drop him even if he was struggling so instead he’d started hitting him, screaming obscenities that neither Koki nor Ueda thought they’d ever hear from him but as he started to exhaust himself it all devolved into him crying and hugging Ueda’s neck.
“Come on, let’s get you home, okay?” Ueda said softly. Looking at Koki, he mouthed what looked like, “What happened?”
Mouthing back, Kame replied, “Don’t know.” He’d tell him the whole story once they got Kame settled.
+++
Koki and Ueda walked back to the dorm. Ueda carried Kame all the way back to his room, ignoring the strange looks he was getting. When they got there, he laid Kame down on his bed. At least somewhere along the way, he had stopped crying.
Then Ueda went out into the hall. He started closing the door but a terrified squeal from Kame changed his mind and he left the door ajar.
Now that Kame was taken care of, Ueda whispered to Koki, “Start from the beginning.”
Scratching the back of his head, Koki asked in a low tone as well, “The beginning like just this time or the beginning with the first time?”
“This happened already before?”
Koki nodded. “Two days ago. But it wasn’t so bad. He just said some stuff, kept his hands to himself. It was right after he broke the bathroom mirror, I think. I found him in the bathtub and he just gave me this look… I don’t know how to explain it. It… it was like he… I dunno. But he asked me if I wanted him. I panicked and left.”
Ueda was a not happy to hear that. “You just left him like that? Geez, Koki… What did Jin say when you told him?”
Now Koki looked terribly guilty. “I didn’t exactly mention it yet.”
“What?!”
“I wanted to try talking to Kame first. I was gonna tell him, I swear! But that’s why I invited Kame out to lunch today. And he seemed fine this time and he didn’t even seem to remember doing that. Then we were at the ramen shop. He got nervous, wanted to leave. I thought it would be good for him to spend a little time in a public place, somewhere with people. I told him not to go and I grabbed his wrist.
“It was like someone flipped a switch. He had that look again and he was saying more stuff, teasing sort of stuff, and then he said to meet him in the alley in five minutes. I tried to call Jin but he was in class. So I called you. I went to find him and he practically assaulted me.
“Then you showed up. You know the rest.”
Ueda stood there a second, letting it all sink in. “Well, first we need to tell Jin and hope you survive the ordeal. After that, we-”
But Kame wandered out of the room at this point. “So that’s why you’re taking so long; you ran into Tat-chan… Hey, wait a minute. Where the ramen?”
From Koki, “What…?”
Kame looked confused. “But… I thought… I asked you if we could get it to go because I didn’t want to be there… Didn’t you stay behind to get it? I mean, I know I should probably have waited to help you carry it but I had to get away from all those people staring at me.”
“They weren’t staring at you…” Koki murmured.
This was just fantastic. Kame didn’t seem to remember. If they told Jin and he angrily confronted Kame while Kame didn’t remember it happening, that could have terrible consequences. Normally he’d tell Koki to talk to Jin but it might be better if he did it. Both Koki and Jin could be very brash at times.
+++
Jin was on his way back to his room when Ueda grabbed hold of him and pretty much forced him to sit down on the couch in the common room. “Hey, what gives? I need to get back to Kame!”
“Trust me; you need to hear this first. It’s actually about Kame.”
That got his full attention. “Why, what happened? Is he okay?” Jin’s mind started flashing possibilities and he didn’t like the thought of any of them.
“He’s having these…” and Ueda seemed to be considering his words carefully, “episodes. I need you to promise not to run off before I’ve said everything I need to say. Okay?”
Jin nodded rapidly. “Just tell me, Tat-chan!”
So Ueda started explaining everything Koki had told him. Jin listened in shock. His Kazu would never do something like that. He just wouldn’t. “Koki must have misunderstood what he…”
The look Ueda gave him stopped him cold. “What about me? Did I misunderstand Kame pressing himself against Koki, pinning him to the wall? Or when he told me that they were busy and I should ‘go fuck Jin again or something’?”
Jin had been about to say something but stopped. Instead, “He… he said that? Those exact words?”
“His exact words, yes.”
“He said ‘fuck’?”
“Yeah. And a whole lot of other stuff I never thought I’d hear from him. Some of it sounded anatomically impossible and none of it is really repeatable. He screamed a lot of stuff at me when I pulled him away from Koki.”
He just got his Kame back and now this? Kame wouldn’t even take his shirt off around Jin yet (Jin pretended not to notice Kame’s intense effort to not be seen naked by him) but he was fooling around behind his back with one of his friends? Well, trying to, anyway. That really hurt. His shoulders slumped. “Tat-chan…”
“The thing is, Jin, Kame doesn’t remember doing it. If you confront him, you’ll only confuse him. I honestly don’t know what you should do instead. Doing nothing is a terrible idea, but I’m not sure accusing him of cheating given everything that’s happened and that he doesn’t even remember doing it is the route to go either. Just… he needs help. Please don’t do anything rash. You know how much you mean to him.”
Jin sighed. “I don’t know what to do either,” he admitted.
“I think he’s only doing this around Koki, but since he doesn’t remember doing it, that might not be true. But I'm pretty sure it’s just Koki. I have a sort of guess about what’s happening. I think it has something to do with the fact he’s figured out Koki really does like him and he can’t handle the fact that yet another person (like Ryo) is attracted to him other than you, so he snaps. But I don’t know why it manifests itself like it does or what, exactly, triggers it.”
Then Ueda said something Jin wouldn’t have expected to hear from him. “As much as I’d love the thought of you being available so that I might stand a chance… I don’t think you should throw away what you have with Kame over these episodes, at least until we figure out what’s really going on.”
Jin knew how hard that must have been for Ueda to say, considering how much he knew his friend wanted him.
God, why did life have to be so complicated. And what should he do about Kame?
“Hey, Tat-chan, would you do me a favor? I think… I think I shouldn’t see Koki right now. Could you give him a message?”
“Sure.”
“Tell him that I trust him but maybe for the time being it would be best if he wasn’t alone with Kame. I don’t know if it will keep it from happening but if it does happen, at least he’ll have some help and maybe we can figure out why it’s happening.”
“I’ll tell him, Jin. I’m sure he’ll understand.” And Ueda stood. “One last thing, Jin.”
“Hmm?”
“You should probably thank Koki next time you do talk to him. You have no idea how hard it is to turn down someone you’ve wanted for so long when they are just as eager as you are. He may whine a lot, but he’s proven stronger than I did, against far more direct and forceful temptation.”
Ueda walked off and Jin was finally free to go check on Kame.
He didn’t say anything about what Ueda had told him. Kame was so happy to see him that he just couldn’t. Not yet.
+++
The hot water felt so good. A good shower cures a lot of ills. Even after he was clean, Kame stood there under the hot water, basking in the warmth. But all good things come to an end and he couldn’t just stand there forever. Turning off the water, he grabbed his towel and started drying himself. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went into the bedroom proper to hunt for clothes from his dresser.
Suddenly there was a gasp behind him, the sound of something hitting the flood, and Jin’s voice, “Oh, god, your back! What did he do?”
And before he could stop the reflexive action, Kame had turned towards the voice.
+++
Normally he wouldn’t be heading back to the dorm room yet, but Jin had forgotten his text book for his second class, so he went to get it. He hadn’t taken more than two steps into the room when he noticed Kame across the room at the dresser.
His back was a complete mess of scars, healing cuts, and bruises that still hadn’t completely faded even after almost two weeks of being away from Ryo. Jin dropped his bag at the shock of the sight.
And when Kame spun around to face him and Jin saw the word ‘slut’ cut into flesh, he was completely horrified. He knew Ryo had been cruel but… that? Carving letters into him?
Kame completely freaked out. He dropped down to the ground right where he was standing and tucked his knees to his chest, head down, his side against the dresser. “Don’t look at me. Please don’t look at me…” he cried softly. “Now you really see it… You know. You’ll always know. You’ll see it every time you look at me…”
“Kazu…” Jin took a few steps towards him.
Sniffling, Kame said, “I’ll… I’ll g-g-go.”
“No!” and Jin dropped down right next to him, putting his arm around him and holding him closely. “You hear that? My heart beating? For as long as it does that, please don’t leave… I need you, Kazuya. Please.”
Kame clutched the front of Jin’s shirt, weeping. “I need you too, Jin. I really do. You’re all I have left that’s g-good. He took so much… He even took our special place from me…”
Jin was completely surprised and asked, “He knew about that place?”
“No, he followed me. He followed me there and I didn’t even notice he was following. He asked if it was a special place but I didn’t want him to know so I said it wasn’t. But he didn’t believe me or he didn’t care. I’m not sure which. Oh, Jin… I fought so hard! I tried to get past him but he dragged me down by my shirt and then he was on top of me.
“Please forgive me, Jin. I begged him not to do it. Not there. I told him I’d do whatever he wanted as long it wasn’t there… I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to betray you but I couldn’t let him tarnish our secret place!
“But it didn’t matter, because he did it anyway. Right there. And I kept fighting but all I managed to do was pull up some grass. He… he m-made me tell him I liked it while he…” Jin could feel Kame shaking violently in his arms. He ran his fingers gently through Kame’s hair.
“I’m not sure how long… seemed like hours. But then he tied my wrists together and tied the other end to a tree so I couldn’t get away. We were there till sometime the next day. Three more times he… I mean… while we were there. It hurt so much, Jin!” Kame sobbed against his chest. “And then he m-m-m-made me c-c-call y-y-y-you…”
“Shh… it’s okay, Kazu. You’re safe now. He’s dead, he can’t ever hurt you again. Shh…” but Jin was also crying. “And I’m not all you have left that’s good. You have friends. Maru and Koki and Yamapi and Junno and Ueda…”
“I’m not so sure about Koki. He’s been acting strange recently. I think he’s hiding something from me…”
“Have you told him everything yet?”
“No, I guess not…”
“Trust me, Koki is still very much your friend. He loves you, just like the rest of them. Don’t forget it, okay?”
“…okay.”
+++
It was Saturday and Kame had finally managed to slip away. Good thing Jin was a heavy sleeper and not a morning person at all, because he didn’t want to be followed where he was going. It took him an hour to find the right place, mostly because he didn’t want to ask for directions.
But finally he got there. To the doorman he said, “A friend of a friend wants to introduce me.”
The relatively unimposing doorman asked, “Which friend sent you?”
“Little Sister.”
He nodded. “Any friend of Little Sister is a friend worth having,” he said, unnecessarily loud. But then the door behind him opened. Ah, that was why. Not quite so unnecessary after all.
The man on the other side of the door was a hell of a lot scarier. Kame had to admit, the whole setup was pretty slick, though for all he knew, that’s how they all did their business. They still get guarded by muscle but without painting a bit target on the building. He stepped inside, swallowing nervously as the door was closed behind him.
A voice called out from a room down the hall. “Little Sister doesn’t send new business. Grab him.”
And before Kame could react, the large man at the door had him, arm bent painfully behind him. He shoved him down the hall, into the room, and on his knees. The next thing Kame knew, he had a gun at his temple.
The man in front of him was not dressed in flashy clothes but there was a certain sense of style to him. He looked so harmless at casual glance but Kame wasn’t glancing casually by this time. Something in this man’s eyes was scary. He spoke, “Let’s start off easy. Who are you?”
“I… I’m K-Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“Okay, K-Kamenashi Kazuya, who do you work for?”
“I… I don’t have a job. Lina…”
A wave of the man’s hand and Kame felt the butt of the gun hit the side of his head, hard enough to daze him a bit. “Lina doesn’t send new…”
Kame was terrified to interrupt but he was more terrified of not clearing up whatever confusion he’d landed in the middle of. “I’m not exactly totally new, sort of…”
The man at his side went to pistol-whip him again but stopped as the man in charge (Kame could only assume this was Tarushi-san) held up a hand. “Explain.”
“My…” and Kame had to pause to figure out what to call Ryo. Ah! “…Keeper? He gave me stuff and I don’t know what it was but I know he bought it from you when Lina delivered it. But I can’t get it from him anymore… But… I thought… you know what he bought and maybe I could buy some myself and then I ran across Lina and she was surprised to see me but she told me where to go and what to say… and… and… Well, I guess that’s everything.”
“Keeper?”
“Ryo… er, Nishikido Ryo.”
“Let him go. Yes, I know what you want.”
Kame finally let go of the breath he’d been holding in since he finished his little explanation. Cautiously he asked, “How much is it?”
“Depends on how much you want…”
And they got down to business. Kame didn’t have enough money to buy all that much, but it should last him a while. He didn’t need to do it every day, right? Just… sometimes.
Right?
Otherwise, he was going to have to find a way to get some more money. Stashing the drugs in his wallet, Kame headed back to campus, hoping to get there before Jin woke up.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fifth Cut ~Beginning the Lies~
A/N: Bad Kame. No donut.
Seriously messed up stuff here.