"Hi? Hello? Can you hear me? Okay...THIS IS BRET! No, no...THIS IS BRET'S PHONE! No, that'd be silly, my phone isn't talking to you...THIS IS BRET ON HIS PHONE! I CAN'T PICK UP! CALL LATER!"

(You can reach us both here.)

Why can I only have 140 letters? And I am not a bird so why do I have to tweet?

Giant chicken spoke to me today.

Our apartment doesn't have a chimney!

I'm not afraid of Santa Clause!

I dance when I am angry.

I'm hungry. But not for soup.