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[airbefore]

It's National Coming Out day and I've discovered I have feelings about this that aren't entirely positive. So that's interesting. Bringing this over from the tumblr machine (where I regularly eschew capitalization. Sorry about that

Comments

[icedteainthebag]

Amen, dude. I really pay no heed to this day. I guess I'm just an old complacent bi.

[airbefore]

*fist bump*

[annabelleonyx]

Yeah. You make a lot of good points. It really comes down to the fact that the day just shouldn't have to exist at all because it shouldn't even matter one way or another. I've wondered how long that will take many times. Wouldn't it be great if by the time my kids were old enough to bring someone home to dinner we didn't even think about it. That the gender of that person that they are choosing to be intimate with is irrelevant. And I mean the general "we" as Rob and I wouldn't care but someone else would, surely, and that is unfortunate.

[airbefore]

I think that this kind of movement is meant to help push us toward a world like the one you described but I think it's counteractive to the goal because it highlights the differences rather than normalizes them. But I am glad to know that if one of your kids brings home a same sexed partner you'd be accepting and supportive. Makes me love you all the more.

[princealia]

This reminds me of this :http://www.kickedoutanthology.com/2012/10/11/national-coming-out-day/

especially the last paragraph. It's one thing to want people to come out, but their struggle doesn't end on this day once they do, you know?

[airbefore]

Exactly. Coming out is great if that's what's right for you but, frankly, it's not always what's right and we shouldn't judge those that chose to keep this to themselves.

[takethisstep]

"I don't feel like an announcement of my sexual preferences is something that I owe the world. People that identify as hetero aren't expected to sit down their closest friends and family and make that announcement so why is it something we demand from LGBT folks? Sexuality is personal and private. Who you like to have consensual sex with isn't my business nor is mine yours. Sexual preferences and identities are not the core of what makes a person but just a small part of a whole. I long for the day when whom I choose to sleep with doesn't automatically come with a label but is just accepted as a small (and rather insignificant part) of who I am."

I have always felt this way too. I've never done the big "here I am, world" coming out. I told my parents and siblings in the simplest way possible, and my four best friends as well. And then I just started living my life. For me, being proud has never meant being loud. I just live my life as I am. And fuck anyone who has a problem with it.

[airbefore]

For me, being proud has never meant being loud.
Ditto. I live my life and allow others to live theirs. As it should be.

[takethewaffles]

I like a lot of your points. I guess it's just where our society is currently, but coming out always seemed to perpetuate the idea of assuming ~everyone is straight until declared otherwise~ or something. But I'm also not really part of the community, and I don't want to step on anyone's toes with what someone might consider to be an important process for them. To each their own, I suppose.

[airbefore]

coming out always seemed to perpetuate the idea of assuming ~everyone is straight until declared otherwise~ or something.
I agree with this. And drawing attention to that with days like this isn't what we need to be doing as, in my opinion, it only ends up furthering the heteronormative stereotype. And, yeah, some people like to make a huge, splashy coming out but those are generally folks who are exceedingly comfortable with their sexuality and have been for a long time. Coming out is one of the most personal things a person can do and this kind of pressure does not make the process any easier.