Feel Again 00. // akame
feel again 00.
akame
NC-17 (R for this chapter), angst, romance
An emotionally and physically abused boy who thought he wouldn't be able to feel again. A man who wanted to be alone and became lonely. They meet and they get the chance to heal each other. But none of them wants to be healed.
Warning: Violence, rape, language.
previously posted to my other journal here: mya_din
Prologue
Kazuya fell back by the force of the slap. His skin heated up where the man's strong and long fingers hit his face. He didn't cry, didn't groan and didn't tremble. He knew it would be over soon. The man in front of him swayed dangerously on his feet, his eyes were clouded which meant he would pass out soon.
Not more than two mintues later he was already on the kitchen floor, snoring on his back, his fists clenching tightly around the belt he had been beating the boy with.
Letting out a relieved sigh, Kazuya pushed himself up from the cold floor and ignoring the pain in his back and legs, dragged himself to his room, falling on his bed.
The color of his face was not different from the white sheet he was lying on. His expression was blank, his eyes empty. If someone could see him in that moment, would have thought he was dead. Or something not really human. He was like a doll.
He couldn't feel anything. The pain faded and left his body completely numb. His heart was also numb. He didn't feel alive.
Lying on his stomach for another five minutes was enough for him to fall asleep. He knew he couldn't turn around because if he had done, the cuts on his back wouldn't heal and he wouldn't be able to move the the next day. He had to let them heal, like always. And the cuts would fade like the others did, leaving faint marks only to give place to the new ones.
Blood slowly flowed down his thighs as Kazuya drifted off.
Akanishi Jin was a lonely person. Not that he minded. He enjoyed the silence around him in the empty apartment, he felt good when no one was bugging him in the morning and he liked not being disturbed by phone calls from so called friends. That was he had always wanted, he wanted to be alone.
Working as a translator paid well and he didn't really have to move out of his apartment. Ideal.
He had friends back then but he didn't want to think about them. He didn't need anyone so he stopped talking to them. That was the time when Jin picked up the habit of drinking. He liked drinking. That daze, that half-unconscious state when everything seems to be warm and comforting.
At first he only drank a bottle of beer, later a little bit more, then he found himself walking on the street in the middle of the night, searching for a convinenience store just because he didn't have anything to drink at home. Then he started to become impatient and opened the bottle even before reaching his apartment, already totally drunk as he fumbled with the keys in front of the door.
That was the scenario he followed almost every day and that was the case that fateful night when his life changed forever.
Jin wanted to stay on his feet, he wanted to walk straight but he found himself unable to do so. He fell, sliding down the dirty wall, looking around slowly on the emtpty street. He heard the giggles and the footsteps approaching him and he wanted to run away. He didn't like meeting anyone.
When the girls reached him, Jin was still lying in the ground, with an empty bottle in his hand, staring in front of him blankly.
One of the girls giggled and kneeled beside him.
“Hey, man you're really handsome. Coming with us?”
Jin looked up and tried to shake his head with no success. It was too heavy. He managed to open his mouth but what left his lips surprised him himself the most.
“Where?”
The girl tugged on her mini skirt and giggled once again.
“We're going to a club. We're gonna have fun. Come on.”
Jin wanted to protest but he was already on his feet. The girl probably wanted a good fuck and he himself didn't want to even touch her, his legs, however, didn't seem to be under his control. Before he knew he already was sitting in a comfortable chair in a pub, fingers around a cold glass and the girl who had dragged him there, stroking his thigh and whispering dirty words into his ear.
His mind was still dazed and fuzzy but he slowly started come out of his drunken state and became aware of his surroundings.
The voice that made him completely sober, however, did not belong to the girl whose hands were already in his pants but a stranger.
“Do you need anything else?” the waiter asked and Jin looked up at him, locking his gaze with the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. The world stopped around them and Jin became numb under the girl's touches.
After a minute of staring at each other, Jin violently pushed the girl off of him and stood up. “What's your name?”
The boy's eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why?”
Jin was speechless because he didn't know why he asked. “I don't know.” , he replied honestly, unable to tear his gaze away.
The boy sighed and turned around to leave. Before he could completely disappear from Jin's sight, he turned back and raised his voice to suppress the loud beat of the music. “Kamenashi Kazuya.”
01.>>
akame
NC-17 (R for this chapter), angst, romance
An emotionally and physically abused boy who thought he wouldn't be able to feel again. A man who wanted to be alone and became lonely. They meet and they get the chance to heal each other. But none of them wants to be healed.
Warning: Violence, rape, language.
previously posted to my other journal here: mya_din
Prologue
Kazuya fell back by the force of the slap. His skin heated up where the man's strong and long fingers hit his face. He didn't cry, didn't groan and didn't tremble. He knew it would be over soon. The man in front of him swayed dangerously on his feet, his eyes were clouded which meant he would pass out soon.
Not more than two mintues later he was already on the kitchen floor, snoring on his back, his fists clenching tightly around the belt he had been beating the boy with.
Letting out a relieved sigh, Kazuya pushed himself up from the cold floor and ignoring the pain in his back and legs, dragged himself to his room, falling on his bed.
The color of his face was not different from the white sheet he was lying on. His expression was blank, his eyes empty. If someone could see him in that moment, would have thought he was dead. Or something not really human. He was like a doll.
He couldn't feel anything. The pain faded and left his body completely numb. His heart was also numb. He didn't feel alive.
Lying on his stomach for another five minutes was enough for him to fall asleep. He knew he couldn't turn around because if he had done, the cuts on his back wouldn't heal and he wouldn't be able to move the the next day. He had to let them heal, like always. And the cuts would fade like the others did, leaving faint marks only to give place to the new ones.
Blood slowly flowed down his thighs as Kazuya drifted off.
Akanishi Jin was a lonely person. Not that he minded. He enjoyed the silence around him in the empty apartment, he felt good when no one was bugging him in the morning and he liked not being disturbed by phone calls from so called friends. That was he had always wanted, he wanted to be alone.
Working as a translator paid well and he didn't really have to move out of his apartment. Ideal.
He had friends back then but he didn't want to think about them. He didn't need anyone so he stopped talking to them. That was the time when Jin picked up the habit of drinking. He liked drinking. That daze, that half-unconscious state when everything seems to be warm and comforting.
At first he only drank a bottle of beer, later a little bit more, then he found himself walking on the street in the middle of the night, searching for a convinenience store just because he didn't have anything to drink at home. Then he started to become impatient and opened the bottle even before reaching his apartment, already totally drunk as he fumbled with the keys in front of the door.
That was the scenario he followed almost every day and that was the case that fateful night when his life changed forever.
Jin wanted to stay on his feet, he wanted to walk straight but he found himself unable to do so. He fell, sliding down the dirty wall, looking around slowly on the emtpty street. He heard the giggles and the footsteps approaching him and he wanted to run away. He didn't like meeting anyone.
When the girls reached him, Jin was still lying in the ground, with an empty bottle in his hand, staring in front of him blankly.
One of the girls giggled and kneeled beside him.
“Hey, man you're really handsome. Coming with us?”
Jin looked up and tried to shake his head with no success. It was too heavy. He managed to open his mouth but what left his lips surprised him himself the most.
“Where?”
The girl tugged on her mini skirt and giggled once again.
“We're going to a club. We're gonna have fun. Come on.”
Jin wanted to protest but he was already on his feet. The girl probably wanted a good fuck and he himself didn't want to even touch her, his legs, however, didn't seem to be under his control. Before he knew he already was sitting in a comfortable chair in a pub, fingers around a cold glass and the girl who had dragged him there, stroking his thigh and whispering dirty words into his ear.
His mind was still dazed and fuzzy but he slowly started come out of his drunken state and became aware of his surroundings.
The voice that made him completely sober, however, did not belong to the girl whose hands were already in his pants but a stranger.
“Do you need anything else?” the waiter asked and Jin looked up at him, locking his gaze with the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. The world stopped around them and Jin became numb under the girl's touches.
After a minute of staring at each other, Jin violently pushed the girl off of him and stood up. “What's your name?”
The boy's eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why?”
Jin was speechless because he didn't know why he asked. “I don't know.” , he replied honestly, unable to tear his gaze away.
The boy sighed and turned around to leave. Before he could completely disappear from Jin's sight, he turned back and raised his voice to suppress the loud beat of the music. “Kamenashi Kazuya.”
01.>>