Feel Again 01. // akame
feel again 01.
akame
NC-17 (R for this chapter), angst, romance
An emotionally and physically abused boy who thought he wouldn't be able to feel again. A man who wanted to be alone and became lonely. They meet and they get the chance to heal each other. But none of them wants to be healed.
Warning: Violence, rape, language.
Chapter 1
Jin woke up with a terrible hangover. Making his way into the kitchen, he tried to remember the previous night but his memory failed him at first. He couldn't even remember how he managed to come back home.
Later on, as his mind was waking and he tried harder to remember, he could recall lying on the ground, the annoying and constant giggling of the girls then drinking again, the club where that slut had dragged him and there it was. That young man. That beautiful face, those cold but perfect-shaped eyes, the brown, shoulder-length hair that covered the side of his face. Emotionless and blank like a doll's face but breathtaking at the same time. There was something about that boy, something Jin couldn't explain but could feel that moment when their gazes met. The feeling was not really good and not bad either; it was somewhere between the two, it was confusing and disturbing but he couldn't stop thinking about it.
With a heavy sigh Jin stood up and opened his fridge. Empty. He cursed under his breath and made a mental note to go buy something to drink later.
Kamenashi Kazuya. Why the hell did he ask his name? He didn't want to know it, actually. That was the most confusing of all. Something caused him to act that way, so not like himself. And then he didn't see the boy anymore that night. Reality kicked in and Jin, being already completely sober, pushed the slut away once again, stopping her from pulling his zipper down and ran out of the club, not wanting anything else than to be alone and breathe some fresh air to clear his mind.
Kazuya. The name fit the boy, Jin had to admit as he rolled the name on his tongue again and again. It was frustrating not being able to get rid of that image in hís mind. Kazuya. The name, the voice, the eyes, the lips. Everthing about that young man returned into his mind again and he was unable to concentrate on anything else that day.
--
Kazuya sank his teeth into the back of his hand deep and hard and could feel the taste of blood on his tongue. The kitchen table creaked under him as his body was writhing when the belt cut into his skin repeatedly.
He was lying on his stomach, sprawled on the table, his pants were hanging loosely around his knees and the man was beating him like usual. But something was strange today. Something was different and Kazuya wanted to scream. He could barely stop himself from crying out as the man thrusted into him so hard that the felt himself ripping apart.
He couldn't understand a thing, didn't know why it felt so different. He wanted to fall back into that numbness which always protected him from the pain. But somehow he couldn't. Every inch of his body was screaming, his skin was burning under the violent attacks. His nostrils filled with the smell of the alcohol the man was emanating and Kazuya's face twisted in pain when the thrusts became harder and harder.
It seemed like an eternity until the man finally came and with that finished his tortures for the day. Kazuya wanted to push him off of himself but every move he tried to make sent painful stabs through his body.
The man pulled out of him with a low groan and somehow managed to stay on his feet. Then he walked to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him, leaving Kazuya alone, still lying on the table.
Kazuya's breathing slowly became even and his face turned back into a cold and blank expression. He pushed himself up but as he shifted his weight to his legs, his muscles gave in and he collapsed on the cold floor, not being able to move anymore.
His mind slipped in and out of consciousness and he could hear a distant voice reach his ears.
“What's your name?”
“Why?”
“I don't know.”
Then he blacked out.
--
Jin threw the empty bottle onto the ground where it broke into pieces. He giggled to himself and continued walking, or more like stumbling, one hand on the wall to steady himself. He was strolling aimlessly, letting his feet guide him and his drunken mind to control his steps.
Everything seemed to be cheerful today. He was enjoying the silence of the empty streets, the darkness of the night and the alcohol that was circling in his veins, making his body move slower and his brain stop working.
Turning around the corner, he stopped when his knees buckled.
“Shit.” Jin tried to regain his balance and scolded himself for not being able to stand straight.
The night seemed to be cold, colder than the day before and the dizziness, that made his head empty, slowly started to fade and the situation wasn't so funny and cheerful anymore.
Jin knew he should have gone home, that place he felt secure and safe but something didn't let his body move and he raised his head to look at the blinking light on the opposite side of the street. The sign that was placed above the door looked familiar. The club.
It was the same club he went the day before and where he met that young man. Jin's feet rooted in one spot and he blinked at the heavy metal doors, trying to understand how it was possible he ended up there. Coincidence? That or he unconsciously walked the same streets as the night before.
Whichever it was, it led him there and Jin couldn't move and walk away. He leaned on the wall and waited. Waited for him.
People passed, entering and leaving, oblivious to Jin's presence but he didn't mind. None of them was whom he was waiting for. Three hours later he was already shivering from cold but still couldn't go away and the door opened again, revealing a slender figure who stepped out and walked away in a hurry.
Jin tensed. He pushed himself away from the wall and hesitated for a minute.
“Kamenashi.” Jin called out and Kazuya stopped.
Turning around, he saw the man but couldn't make out his face in the dark so he stepped closer. He didn't show any sign that he recognized the other and Jin licked his lips. He felt nervous and had no idea what to say. He looked into the boy's cold and dark eyes and the same strange feeling returned.
“I... we met yesterday in the club.” Jin felt awkward. He didn't even know if the boy remembered him.
“I know. What do you want?” Kazuya didn't sound rude or angry, he was just simply void of any emotions just like his face. His face which was beautiful, Jin reminded himself again.
“I was waiting for you.” Jin said and wondered if he sounded as lame as he felt himself.
Kazuya's expression didn't change one bit except for an eyebrow he raised questioningly. “Why?”
That was the question. Why?
“I-I don't know. I just want to talk to you.”
Kazuya stepped closer and stopped only a few inches away from Jin, whose gaze fell on the boy's neck which was exposed as his buttons were undone on the top. His skin was so white and silky that Jin had to gulp but couldn't look away. The shirt the boy was wearing fit his body perfectly, showed every curve of his slim body. The sight made Jin's breathing become faster and his eyes clouded.
Kazuya tilted his head and stared at him. “Talk? Don't make me laugh. You want a quick round?”
Jin shot his head up to look at Kazuya in disbelief. “What?”
Kazuya gave a snort and just stepped closer pressing his body on the other making him step back until his back hit the wall hard. Jin couldn't only understand what was happening and Kazuya's lips were already on his own, kissing him roughly. The other's tongue slipped in and licked the inside of his mouth teasingly, sucking and biting on his lower lip.
Jin was so shocked that he couldn't react and so distracted that he couldn't notice that Kazuya's hands were already unbuckling his belt. He snapped out only when the boy slid his hands in and grabbed his cock. Jin pulled away in panic.
“What-what are you doing?” he tried to grab Kazuya's hand but the boy just swatted his arms away and started pumping him in a fast pace.
Kazuya leaned in, still pressing his body on the other's and licked his neck up to his ear. “That's what you want, you just want to fuck me. So shut up.” he whispered and his breath felt warm on Jin's ear, making him shiver. “And you're hard so don't tell me you don't want it.”
Indeed, Jin was hard and the hand on his cock felt incredibly good, let alone Kazuya's perfect, slim body on his own and his voice that turned husky and hushed. Jin tried to think but it wasn't easy.
“No... wait... ah.” Jin threw his head back and was panting heavily until Kazuya kissed him again and continued pumping in a fast pace. Jin's dazed mind gave up resisting and he kissed the other back hungrily. When Kazuya pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes, Jin knew he lost it. He stopped thinking and groaned loudly when the fingers tightened around his cock.
“Are you enjoying it? Do you still want me to stop?” Kazuya breathed into his ear.
Jin bit his lips and moaned when Kazuya bit his earlobe and licked it teasingly.
“Come on, speak. Want me to stop?” Kazuya sneaked his hand up and pulled Jin's hair to make him look into his eyes, hands brushing the tip of his shaft.
“No.” Jin panted and shut his eyes tightly as he felt himself near the peak. He moaned once more and Kazuya moved his hand roughly up and down once again. Jin came hard into his hands and his hand raised instinctively to cup the boy's nape as he trembled.
Kazuya waited for him to come back from his high then pulled away.
“I hope you got what you wanted so don't come here anymore.” he said and his cold tone hurt Jin's ears.
“Wait...” he breathed out as he buckled his belt quickly, trying to catch his breath but Kazuya turned around and walked away in a hurry.
Jin snapped out and ran after him then grabbing his wrist, he turned the boy around. “Wait.. I...”
“Don't worry about it. Just don't come here anymore.”
Jin pursed his lips as he was staring at the boy, not knowing what to say or do. The boy seemed to be unaffected by what they had just done and Jin didn't know why. It was not normal that a man just could walk to another, whom he didn't know, and jerk him off in an empty alley in the middle of the night. But nothing seemed to be normal around Kazuya.
Jin's fingers slowly released him and Kazuya shot him a last cold glance before walking away.
Jin was standing there for another minute, staring at the boy's back as he disappeared. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration then turned to go home. He knew this wasn't the last time he met Kazuya. He knew he would come back.
02.>>
akame
NC-17 (R for this chapter), angst, romance
An emotionally and physically abused boy who thought he wouldn't be able to feel again. A man who wanted to be alone and became lonely. They meet and they get the chance to heal each other. But none of them wants to be healed.
Warning: Violence, rape, language.
Chapter 1
Jin woke up with a terrible hangover. Making his way into the kitchen, he tried to remember the previous night but his memory failed him at first. He couldn't even remember how he managed to come back home.
Later on, as his mind was waking and he tried harder to remember, he could recall lying on the ground, the annoying and constant giggling of the girls then drinking again, the club where that slut had dragged him and there it was. That young man. That beautiful face, those cold but perfect-shaped eyes, the brown, shoulder-length hair that covered the side of his face. Emotionless and blank like a doll's face but breathtaking at the same time. There was something about that boy, something Jin couldn't explain but could feel that moment when their gazes met. The feeling was not really good and not bad either; it was somewhere between the two, it was confusing and disturbing but he couldn't stop thinking about it.
With a heavy sigh Jin stood up and opened his fridge. Empty. He cursed under his breath and made a mental note to go buy something to drink later.
Kamenashi Kazuya. Why the hell did he ask his name? He didn't want to know it, actually. That was the most confusing of all. Something caused him to act that way, so not like himself. And then he didn't see the boy anymore that night. Reality kicked in and Jin, being already completely sober, pushed the slut away once again, stopping her from pulling his zipper down and ran out of the club, not wanting anything else than to be alone and breathe some fresh air to clear his mind.
Kazuya. The name fit the boy, Jin had to admit as he rolled the name on his tongue again and again. It was frustrating not being able to get rid of that image in hís mind. Kazuya. The name, the voice, the eyes, the lips. Everthing about that young man returned into his mind again and he was unable to concentrate on anything else that day.
--
Kazuya sank his teeth into the back of his hand deep and hard and could feel the taste of blood on his tongue. The kitchen table creaked under him as his body was writhing when the belt cut into his skin repeatedly.
He was lying on his stomach, sprawled on the table, his pants were hanging loosely around his knees and the man was beating him like usual. But something was strange today. Something was different and Kazuya wanted to scream. He could barely stop himself from crying out as the man thrusted into him so hard that the felt himself ripping apart.
He couldn't understand a thing, didn't know why it felt so different. He wanted to fall back into that numbness which always protected him from the pain. But somehow he couldn't. Every inch of his body was screaming, his skin was burning under the violent attacks. His nostrils filled with the smell of the alcohol the man was emanating and Kazuya's face twisted in pain when the thrusts became harder and harder.
It seemed like an eternity until the man finally came and with that finished his tortures for the day. Kazuya wanted to push him off of himself but every move he tried to make sent painful stabs through his body.
The man pulled out of him with a low groan and somehow managed to stay on his feet. Then he walked to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him, leaving Kazuya alone, still lying on the table.
Kazuya's breathing slowly became even and his face turned back into a cold and blank expression. He pushed himself up but as he shifted his weight to his legs, his muscles gave in and he collapsed on the cold floor, not being able to move anymore.
His mind slipped in and out of consciousness and he could hear a distant voice reach his ears.
“What's your name?”
“Why?”
“I don't know.”
Then he blacked out.
--
Jin threw the empty bottle onto the ground where it broke into pieces. He giggled to himself and continued walking, or more like stumbling, one hand on the wall to steady himself. He was strolling aimlessly, letting his feet guide him and his drunken mind to control his steps.
Everything seemed to be cheerful today. He was enjoying the silence of the empty streets, the darkness of the night and the alcohol that was circling in his veins, making his body move slower and his brain stop working.
Turning around the corner, he stopped when his knees buckled.
“Shit.” Jin tried to regain his balance and scolded himself for not being able to stand straight.
The night seemed to be cold, colder than the day before and the dizziness, that made his head empty, slowly started to fade and the situation wasn't so funny and cheerful anymore.
Jin knew he should have gone home, that place he felt secure and safe but something didn't let his body move and he raised his head to look at the blinking light on the opposite side of the street. The sign that was placed above the door looked familiar. The club.
It was the same club he went the day before and where he met that young man. Jin's feet rooted in one spot and he blinked at the heavy metal doors, trying to understand how it was possible he ended up there. Coincidence? That or he unconsciously walked the same streets as the night before.
Whichever it was, it led him there and Jin couldn't move and walk away. He leaned on the wall and waited. Waited for him.
People passed, entering and leaving, oblivious to Jin's presence but he didn't mind. None of them was whom he was waiting for. Three hours later he was already shivering from cold but still couldn't go away and the door opened again, revealing a slender figure who stepped out and walked away in a hurry.
Jin tensed. He pushed himself away from the wall and hesitated for a minute.
“Kamenashi.” Jin called out and Kazuya stopped.
Turning around, he saw the man but couldn't make out his face in the dark so he stepped closer. He didn't show any sign that he recognized the other and Jin licked his lips. He felt nervous and had no idea what to say. He looked into the boy's cold and dark eyes and the same strange feeling returned.
“I... we met yesterday in the club.” Jin felt awkward. He didn't even know if the boy remembered him.
“I know. What do you want?” Kazuya didn't sound rude or angry, he was just simply void of any emotions just like his face. His face which was beautiful, Jin reminded himself again.
“I was waiting for you.” Jin said and wondered if he sounded as lame as he felt himself.
Kazuya's expression didn't change one bit except for an eyebrow he raised questioningly. “Why?”
That was the question. Why?
“I-I don't know. I just want to talk to you.”
Kazuya stepped closer and stopped only a few inches away from Jin, whose gaze fell on the boy's neck which was exposed as his buttons were undone on the top. His skin was so white and silky that Jin had to gulp but couldn't look away. The shirt the boy was wearing fit his body perfectly, showed every curve of his slim body. The sight made Jin's breathing become faster and his eyes clouded.
Kazuya tilted his head and stared at him. “Talk? Don't make me laugh. You want a quick round?”
Jin shot his head up to look at Kazuya in disbelief. “What?”
Kazuya gave a snort and just stepped closer pressing his body on the other making him step back until his back hit the wall hard. Jin couldn't only understand what was happening and Kazuya's lips were already on his own, kissing him roughly. The other's tongue slipped in and licked the inside of his mouth teasingly, sucking and biting on his lower lip.
Jin was so shocked that he couldn't react and so distracted that he couldn't notice that Kazuya's hands were already unbuckling his belt. He snapped out only when the boy slid his hands in and grabbed his cock. Jin pulled away in panic.
“What-what are you doing?” he tried to grab Kazuya's hand but the boy just swatted his arms away and started pumping him in a fast pace.
Kazuya leaned in, still pressing his body on the other's and licked his neck up to his ear. “That's what you want, you just want to fuck me. So shut up.” he whispered and his breath felt warm on Jin's ear, making him shiver. “And you're hard so don't tell me you don't want it.”
Indeed, Jin was hard and the hand on his cock felt incredibly good, let alone Kazuya's perfect, slim body on his own and his voice that turned husky and hushed. Jin tried to think but it wasn't easy.
“No... wait... ah.” Jin threw his head back and was panting heavily until Kazuya kissed him again and continued pumping in a fast pace. Jin's dazed mind gave up resisting and he kissed the other back hungrily. When Kazuya pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes, Jin knew he lost it. He stopped thinking and groaned loudly when the fingers tightened around his cock.
“Are you enjoying it? Do you still want me to stop?” Kazuya breathed into his ear.
Jin bit his lips and moaned when Kazuya bit his earlobe and licked it teasingly.
“Come on, speak. Want me to stop?” Kazuya sneaked his hand up and pulled Jin's hair to make him look into his eyes, hands brushing the tip of his shaft.
“No.” Jin panted and shut his eyes tightly as he felt himself near the peak. He moaned once more and Kazuya moved his hand roughly up and down once again. Jin came hard into his hands and his hand raised instinctively to cup the boy's nape as he trembled.
Kazuya waited for him to come back from his high then pulled away.
“I hope you got what you wanted so don't come here anymore.” he said and his cold tone hurt Jin's ears.
“Wait...” he breathed out as he buckled his belt quickly, trying to catch his breath but Kazuya turned around and walked away in a hurry.
Jin snapped out and ran after him then grabbing his wrist, he turned the boy around. “Wait.. I...”
“Don't worry about it. Just don't come here anymore.”
Jin pursed his lips as he was staring at the boy, not knowing what to say or do. The boy seemed to be unaffected by what they had just done and Jin didn't know why. It was not normal that a man just could walk to another, whom he didn't know, and jerk him off in an empty alley in the middle of the night. But nothing seemed to be normal around Kazuya.
Jin's fingers slowly released him and Kazuya shot him a last cold glance before walking away.
Jin was standing there for another minute, staring at the boy's back as he disappeared. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration then turned to go home. He knew this wasn't the last time he met Kazuya. He knew he would come back.
02.>>